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Good morning

September 27th 2006 6:16 am
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I slept with ah bee in her room until 10am. It was a first. Usually, I am up with the sun, but this morning, missing ah ma must have gone to my head, I thought the world might be a better place if I slept in, so I did. And my, how much better.

After waking up, I walked into ah bee and fomfomfom's toilet and took a dump there, just like they do. It was a first too. Why cha was so delighted at my taking a dump I do not know. But as you can see, the world is already better, when my poo poo evokes great feelings of delight in the dour cha.

In the wonderful spirit of groundbreaking firsts this morning, ah bee and fomfomfom brought me for a morning walk. It was flowers and soft breezes.

All in, it was a wonderful morning. The rest of the day was rather forgettable, let's not go there. Oh, but I got me a new milkstick after dinner. This achievement was accomplished by me pretending I got me an unbalanced heart. Last night, fomfomfom and ah bee were watching raven, then they sneakily threw away the last 1/3 of my milkstick. I was sorrowful. But it was late. Continuing the sorrow today, after dinner, theirs not mine, I moped. As I am writing now, I am chewing on my brand new milkstick.

Ah.

 

Ah ma is back!

September 28th 2006 6:03 am
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I was making my rounds around the neighbourhood. This rabid poodle barked at me viciously. I said, pooh to you. I think all that barking curled his hair. He needs to, you know, unwind a little.

And then I was sleeping after drinking my milk. Ah bee asked me who's back. I flew downstairs, barking as I went. Ah ma was back!! I would have thought ah ma was glad to see me after so long away, but later when we adjourned upstairs for a little tete-a-tete, she wagged her finger at me. So I sat on her couch. So what? I was unhappy so I snorted at ah ma. I ignored her.

Oh, oh, this is one for the diary. Last night, ah bee created a kind of a panic room for herself. It was the chair thing for ah ma's vanity table. It was like a cabinet under the chair, and ah bee made it the mission of her night to squeeze in. Fomfomfom walked in in the midst of it, and stayed to witness ah bee's success. Cha walked in and ah bee insisted on demonstrating. And we were all very happy for ah bee.

After her spectacular success, ah bee opened her mailbox to find that her tutor brought forward her presentation to this saturday. I don't think she'll be spending time demonstrating her new panic room to ah ma these few days.

And they threw away my milkstick again. It was fomfomfom. Pooh to her.

 

It's raining men

September 30th 2006 6:33 am
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It seems that, I forgot to write my diary last night. I must have been overwhelmed by the excitement of the day.

So, yesterday was exciting. Strange men were traipsing all over the house. First, the gas man came to deliver a gas canister. I welcomed him at the stairs. As I was about to follow him to the kitchen outside, ah gong hooked his finger round my collar so I couldn't go out. I know humans are big and strong, but that gesture smacked of discrimination and insensitivity. I woefully reproached ah gong so that he would know it is wrong to do that.

Later, the air con men came to repair the air con in ah gong's room. I was full of good intentions, but cha the sour plum kept me in her room. Later, she carried me and sat on the sofa for tv. All this while, the air con men were just in the next room. It was hot and I was panting and then the air con men were gone. I reproached cha woefully so that she would know her actions were inappropriate.

Today my tai ma came to visit. It would have been a happy occasion. But in the afternoon, ah gong received a call saying that tai ma's brother had passed away this morning. There was a gloom in the house and I felt bad for tai ma. Then there were lots of phone calls and ah gong went out with tai ma. Ah gong hasn't come back yet. I hope tai ma is not too upset.

I pray to the Goddess of Mercy to bless my tai ma.

 

See no touch

October 1st 2006 10:10 am
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It is Children's Day today. This is my third.

This morning, cha and fomfomfom went to learn to fly. So I watched ah ma bake mooniecakes. It was all dough and melon seeds and lotus paste and yummy salted egg yolks. No one offered me any of the finished product.

Lunch was boiled chicken boobs and rice. It wasn't bad. But if that was Singapore's national dish chicken rice, then someone's got to do something about it.

At night they left me alone at home with carlin. They went to attend tai ma's brother's funeral. It was 3 hours before the 3 mamas came back. I was forlorn. They bought me a happy meal from mcdonalds. I always get a happy meal on children's day. They ate the meal. I got the toy. It was buzz lightyear. Shame on them. 3 big girls eating my happy meal. Extra shame on ah bee. She coudn't put the stickers on the toy without looking at the instructions. A child could do it better.

I waited for ah ma to come back coz I love ah ma and ah ma loves me. I wouldn't eat my dinner before ah ma came back. She came back at 1158pm. It was a happy children's day for me. Coz ah ma came back before the day ended.

Um, it was also a happy children's day for another reason. I was one of the 5 featured diaries of the day today on dogster! My mamas took a snapshot of the webpage for posterity. So happy.

 

Conclusions

October 2nd 2006 8:09 am
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Ah ma says I'm a smelly girl. The cheek of her. I told her she didn't bathe me coz she was lazy. And anyway I'm not smelly. I just smell doggy. Fomfomfom loves to smell my paw. She says it smells heavenly.

The conclusion of the above paragraph is that ah ma is lazy.

But I forgive ah ma. Ah ma turned in really early today, like 8 plus pm. I slept with her, we held hands. We slept together for a long time, I walked out of the room only at 10 plus. Then ah gong gave me a belly rub and said he wanted to beat me up coz I was having such a good time. I told him to beat me up if he dared. He just rubbed my belly.

The conclusion of the above paragraph is that ah gong is a ninny-fart spray.

All that concluding is making me tired. I know, my powers of deduction are rare. But I'm not going to pursue a doctorate or something, as most might expect. My gift is for the betterment of my family. I work to tell them what they really are, so that they may strive to do better.

I'm so busy.

 

Haze haze go away

October 3rd 2006 7:24 am
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It was quite the storm this morning. Usually I don't like rain, but I thought the rain today was appropriate coz the haze was so terrible yesterday. So bad that it made the front page this morning. I know because I read the papers every morning.

Then ah ma was making mooniecakes all morning again. All the way till after lunch. I escaped a bath again. Then at 4pm, she and fomfomfom went out to give away the mooniecakes to relatives. Again, no one thought of giving me any. I was lonely coz ah bee went to school and cha went to cut her hair. It was me and carlin, so we ironed clothes together.

Happily, the ground was dry enough so I could go out at 5 plus to welcome passers by. The cat sat opposite the road so I barked at it to go away. My boyfriend next door joined me. We are a formidable pair coz the cat went away soon enough. I thumbed my nose at the stupid cat.

Ah ma and ah bee went out to deliver mooniecakes again after dinner. It was me and the bland fomfomfom. I was happy when ah ma came back. Ah ma said she made extra mooniecakes. Maybe tomorrow I will ask her for one.

 

I want I want I want

October 4th 2006 10:40 am
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Ah ma finally gave me a bath. I had to show my displeasure, so I bit fomfomfom's wrist. It assuaged my hatred a little bit.

Then it came to the time to welcome passers by. Ah ma is so bad, she brought out the grass cutter and cut the grass. Everytime she cuts the grass she does it during sunny days. She should do it during rainy days so it doesn't interfere with my welcoming of passers by. I must tell her that so that she doesn't do stupid things like that. People will laugh at her.

At night ah bee gave me her dental plate to bite. It fit my mouth so nice. But ah bee then hid it under her armpit so I can't find it. I will tell ah ma tomorrow that I also want to make my own dental plates. It's so fun to put it in your mouth. Me and ah bee can't share dental plates. Moreover, I won't settle for something that has ah bee's armpit odour on it.

I also like the tracing paper fomfomfom brought back with her shopping. I don't like it when ah bee waves it over my head, so I hid under the piano chair. Then I wrestled it out of ah bee's hands and I sat on it. That's all.

 

Expressions

October 5th 2006 8:14 am
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It is a smelly and hazy day. I wonder when the wind will change. The government says anytime now. When that happens, I'll have to be careful not to be making any faces, or else my face will be stuck that way forever. I have to be expressionless until after the wind changes and the haze clears.

Cha gave me half a deworming pill today with my lunch. I wanted to frown, but I had to remain expressionless. I swallowed the bitter pill like the brave girl I am. Then ah ma came back from her shopping. I wanted to smile but I had to remain expressionless. Fomfomfom asked me if I am even 10 inches tall, I wanted to bite her but I was quick to remind myself to be expressionless.

It is a hard thing to do, this expressionless business. I figure the best way is to go to sleep, so when ah ma went to bed early, I joined her. It is dark and cool and there are no irritants. And no haze too.

 

My poor ah ma

October 6th 2006 6:59 am
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Today my ah ma is sick. She caught a cold. Or maybe it's the flu, which fomfomfom has. Fomfomfom is still coughing after 2 weeks. Ah ma went to see the doctor. Later fomfomfom went too.

It is a very hazy day. Ah bee says it looks like winter in Europe. But for the fact it smells like crap.

Today is the fifteenth of the eighth month. That's why we've been eating mooncakes. Fomfomfom bought me a lantern. I get one every year. This one has a cat on it and it sings a bad song. Fomfomfom has always had bad taste. This year is no different.

Ah ma went to bed early. So I am left with cha this lovely smoky mid-autumn night. Ah bee and fomfomfom just came back from some last minute shopping. Someone is getting married tomorrow, fomfomfom has nothing to wear. I want to gaze at the moon holding ah ma's hand. But ah ma is sick. My mid-autumn is pointless.

 

And so it is

October 7th 2006 7:13 am
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Today the haze was very bad. Ah ma says it is unhealthy so she forbade me from going out to welcome passersby.

Ah ma is still coughing. So I jumped up onto her couch to sayang her. Ah ma waved her arms and cushion at me, I dunno why, but I figured I should sit closer so I got up and squeezed with ah ma on one seat. Then I rested my head on ah ma's thigh. Ah ma seemed quite pleased.

But then ah ma became bad. She bluffed me there was a cat outside so I jumped off the couch. Then she opened the door to let me go to the balcony. She said the haze is unhealthy, but still let me walk around outside. Luckily I was smart and came in soon enough.

Ah ma then kept switching on my stupid lantern and the cat on the lantern sang a stupid song. Ah ma bobbed the lantern in front of me and bobbed her head along to the bad music. The sight was so ugly I had to leave the room.

I want to eat cha's pizza. The box says sarpino's. I was about to request for a slice when fomfomfom made me sit down to write my diary entry. So here I am. And there the pizza is. And never the twain shall meet. So it sadly seems.

 
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