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Days of the week

November 28th 2006 6:24 am
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I told my mamas I wanted to start school. Afterall, I'm almost three. So my mamas huddled together and after some discussion, they decided fomfomfom shall start the ball rolling. She will teach me the days of the week on the first lesson.

We sat down in her room. Fomfomfom said, Mun-dae. I repeated, MUN-DAE.

Twos-dae. I repeated, TWOS-DAE.

Fomfomfom went on, Whens-dae.

That's when I fled.



November 29th 2006 8:12 am
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Today we went to the condo. It was rainin'.

I ran from one end of the block to the other and back, and then all over again. It was borin'. Then I decided to be adventurous and go out into the rain. I poked my head out and started runnin' very fast. I was a hero.

Then I felt the rain get to my skin. That was when I decided I didn't like runnin' in the rain after all. I had ah bee carry me back into shelter.

Ah ma scolded ah bee for letting me go into the rain and then goo-gooed at me.

I love bein' me.


Wanton wontons

November 30th 2006 2:47 am
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I had wantons for dinner. They don't taste very wanton. Neither do they feel wanton. They actually operate within carefully prescribed parameters.

The parameter is the wanton skin. It is yellow and thin and it breaks easily. It is like a frilly skirt around the wanton. But it is not provocative, the skirt is not. Coz it is not wanton, you know what I mean?

I like wantons. In Singapore you can buy wanton noodles to eat. How wanton can noodles be? I imagine that can be the source of dispute and conflict. The hawker sells wanton noodles, the customer eats and says, wot? But you note that can only be a foreign customer. Local customers are programmed to be turned on by a good wanton noodle.

In foreign lands, wantons are called wontons. And no one has high expectations of wontons; they are not expected to titillate. And of course they don't . Only in asian lands where wantons are properly called, do they live up to their name.

Ah ma's wanton is, of course, oh-so-wanton.


Wanton Wontons Part II

December 1st 2006 8:20 am
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I had wantons for dinner tonight again! Ah ma made them specially for me since I was so appreciative of the wantons last night.

I had 2 wantons. It is half more than what I had last night. Therefore, I am more wanton than yesterday.

I looked for the moon tonight. I was at the porch enjoying the cool air and watching the ants crawling wantonly around. I couldn't find the moon! It wasn't in the same place it was yesterday. I was thinking maybe there's wanton in the air and the moon went out to play that's why I couldn't find it. I finally found it later when I walked further out. It was in the sky like the good moon it was supposed to be.

But there's only half a moon, like yesterday.


I. Will. Be.

December 2nd 2006 8:24 am
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I bathed today. It is the last time carlin will bathe me coz she's going back to the philippines. And for the first time, ah bee woke up early enough to blow me dry. It was highly emotional.

I emerged from my emotions stronger and more determined to take control of my own life. Not to be like a young sapling swaying in the wind. Oh, those emotions. They will be my downfall yet. Therefore, I will learn how to bathe myself before the next maid comes.

I will make a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself.

I will be. Adequite.



December 3rd 2006 8:06 am
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I would like to report that the moon is ok again. It has moved house, so I found it in a different place tonight. But it was the whole moon, so I was happy for it.

On the subject of moon, ah ma made moonie cakes today. I think making moonie cakes is a thing you do when the whole moon decides to come out. It is an effect of the whole moon.

But again, it might be the cause. When ah ma makes moonie cakes, the whole moon has to come out.

Maybe the moon is made of cheese.


Bad Mood

December 4th 2006 9:06 am
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I'm not in a good mood today.

First, the mahjong girls came and played mahjong the whole day until 5 plus. No one paid any attention to me though I hung around all day.

Then at night, ah ma and ah gong went out to some baby's one month celebration. The 3 mamas were so busy watching tv no one paid me any attention either.

Then there was a new japanese girl who arrived today. She's white with a fancy name Jade. If she's japanese, she should take a leaf from Mikasa's book and call herself unagi or chawanmushi or arigato. But I think she should call herself harakiri or kamikaze. I don't like her. My mamas were all over her.

And she's all fancy-schmancy too. Keyless! What rubbish. Whoever's heard of a keyless car? Jade's just a glorified truck. I spat in her when my mamas brought me for a ride. She has to call me mama.

When I went for the ride, the moon followed me around. I was so irritated. I didn't want to talk to no one for the rest of the night.


Domestic Violence

December 5th 2006 2:28 am
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There were 3 episodes today.

Today fomfomfom and cha went to a doggie bakery to buy me stuff. There were apple chips, grilled lamb bits and a chicken pie. I didn't like the apple chips, so we left the bag of apple chips on the table. Ah ma appeared and fomfomfom informed her that it's good for diabetics. Ah ma took one, then was enlightened. She spat out the apple chip and beat ah bee up, who was unfortunately geographically located.

Then fomfomfom and cha also collected photos today. There were like 800 photos of me. Ah ma was angry that unflattering photos of her in her leopard print pjs were sent to be developed. At this moment, ah bee is suffering another bout of violence.

I also suffered violence at ah bee's hands while washing ears. Ostensibly it's coz I was naughty, but the truth is ah bee wanted to vent her anger somewhere, anywhere. Ah bee smacked me on my backside.

Then it rained and the petty person smirked and told me it's coz I was naughty.


Deck the neighbours with boughs of holly, falalalala, a pox- on them

December 6th 2006 2:45 am
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Last night I had diarrhoea. I did it in fomfomfom and ah bee's toilet, and fomfomfom shrieked when I let go. Ah bee had to clean it up and she used so much paper the toilet almost clogged up.

But I'm ok today. There were strange people, foreigners, walking about the garden all day. Cha didn't let me go out to cavort with them. All day, I was stuck in the house while the foreigners were having a party outside. Painting the house, ah ma said. I know better.

Ah bee and fomfomfom washed my ears and I yelled loudly and ah ma came to rescue me. But fomfomfom didn't let me go, so later, ah ma gave it to her.

The neighbours' house went bang bang bang. I thought they only ill treat their maid. To think, they're inconsiderate too. If only they didn't exist. I would have had a peaceful evening.

But one can't ask for too much. I'll settle for a pox on them.



December 7th 2006 7:04 am
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Carlin went out this morning with big bags of stuff. She's going back to the philippines, ah ma told me. I didn't know how to react, so I had diarrhoea. Ah ma was doing chores all morning. I think she must have lost 2 pounds by the end of the day. She was doing all the stuff carlin used to do.

The party continued today. The foreigners were back in the morning, and I don't know what they were doing. But they made a mess of everywhere. And I still wasn't allowed to cavort with them. Fomfomfom screamed when she saw that all the doors and gates were open and I could have run out onto the road into oblivion without anyone knowing. Then they watched me like hawks and closed all the doors.

Then fomfomfom and ah bee washed my ears and I screamed bloody murder and they finally let me off. And fomfomfom kept taunting me and asked me where the cat was. I wasn't allowed into the garden, which was a mess coz of the foreigners. But the cat! I wasn't happy.

Then at night, I didn't want to go upstairs and cha decided to go all petty on me and she tied me to the banister and kept scolding me. And my stomach was churning all this time.

It wasn't a happy day for me.

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