Viet tunnels

We were watching tv today and Samantha brown went to Vietnam. She visited the war tunnels and ah bee got a severe case of claustrophobia. Ah bee said she would just stop dead and start crying if she were in the tunnels. And no one would be able to rescue her coz the tunnels were so narrow.

Ah bee is so stupid. I'm sure I can navigate the tunnels like a champ.

Twisted Twister

Ah bee's friend is getting married tomorrow so Ah bee was busy coming up with ideas for games to play with the groomsmen. She made a Twister board but instead of things like right hand on yellow, it has things like face to butt. How childish.

So I told Ah bee to put her face to my backside so I can fart in her face.

Yes I read

I read in the papers today that some idiot was caught trying to smuggle 21 puppies in his car's tyre well from Malaysia to Singapore. They had a picture of the puppies all sleeping together. So cute. I hope the court throws the book at him and jail him forever and throw away the key. He is trash.

And we have not seen the children for quite a few days now. And we met Alexis' maid today and asked why Alexis hasnt been coming out to play. Mosquitoes, she answered. Ah yes. Quite the problem. In 2 days, the number of cases of dengue fever has risen from 20 to more than 30. That's what the banner says.

Luckily I can't catch dengue fever. At least that's what ah bee says. I hope she is right.

Our good deed for the day

We were sitting at the shop when an old lady alighted from a taxi looking utterly lost. So Ah bee went to her and asked if she needed help. She told us she's visiting her daughter but she didn't know where she stayed. So we used Fomfomfom's phone to call her daughter for her. Then coz she wasn't very stable on her feet, Ah bee held her elbow and led her to a chair to wait for someone to come fetch her.

Then Fomfomfom and Ah bee started wondering if they should tie a nametag around ah ma's neck in case she ever got lost like that.

Oh please. Ah ma goes to the casino so often I'm pretty sure her mind's sharper than all of them combined.

Mozzies

It seems there has been a dengue fever outbreak in Singapore recently. Even our condo was hit. There is a big banner at the entrance of the condo announcing that there have been 20 cases of dengue fever. How frightening. Then we spied health and environment officers making the rounds again. It's wonderful how efficient our government is.

Anyway, ah bee has taken to slapping lemongrass patches on herself, like the children. That's coz she's been sleeping with mosquitoes nightly. We'll see if those patches work.

Me, I know the cure for dengue. It's frogs and bittergourd. You take it straight from the cauldron, it'll cure you. That's what I hear.

He's a woman she's a man

We read in the papers today that there's an aspiring local singer who decided to raise his profile by getting a boob job. Not pecs, breasts. But he doesn't intend to become a woman. He will just be a man with breasts. And he hopes to appear in his favourite male singer's music video as the female lead.

He's got everyone so confused with his confusion.

But he says he's happy so we are happy for him too.

It lingers

I was hiding under the side table last night with my ball and bottle. Then Fomfomfom stuck her head in under the table so I let one rip.

It's an enclosed space. That'd teach her.

2 days ago

That day I spied a baby lizard so I chased it ferociously. I was very almost upon it when it suddenly stopped. Maybe it missed its mother. Anyway, it stopped, so I stopped too. I have no interest in unchallenging things.

I guess it's a big lizard now.

Hot and hotter

Ok, they bathed me today. No big deal.

We read in the papers today the hot spell will last till September. It is rather terribly hot these days.

My nose was so wet just now.

Shhh

They seem to have forgotten I'm overdue for a bath.

I'm not complaining.