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Dear Brady's Diary

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What is wedding?

January 25th 2007 2:36 pm
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Dear Diary,

What is wedding?

It's been happening a lot lately, but the other day Mommy brought something home in one of those bags that makes fun noises. Me and Squeak love those! They are so fun. Squeak likes to play hide and seek in the bag. Squeak is just a little kid so he doesn't realize that I know he ALWAYS hides in the bag. Kids!

Anyway, I ran over to Mommy to grab the bag, and Mommy said, "No, Puppy, no this is for Big Girl's wedding." Everybody knows me and Squeak always get the bags, what did she mean "No"? And what the heck is "wedding"?

The other day Mom was talking to my Little Girl and Mommy said, "Mindy and Matt's wedding...", so this wedding thing is for Matt too. Well, I need to know what wedding is, cause I don't like Matt anymore. He has that weird haircut and he makes fun of my pink sweater. Can't a guy just wear his sweater, without some other guy saying stuff? And Diary you should see what he wears, Squeak and me think he looks like a dumbhead, and he doesn't even have hair.

I think I am going to ask Mommy if Big Girl can wedding me and Squeak. Big Girl loves me more than Baldy, we're both blondes (Mommy says all her kids are blondes, whatever that is, it must be good, cause Mommy smiles) and she smooches me all the time. Big Girl says, "Smooch me Puppy!" and then kiss, kiss, kiss. I don't like it, and I try to tell her big boys like me and Squeak don't want to be smooched, but she never listens. I hate being so adorable, everyone wants to smooch me! So anyway, nobody ever says "Smooch me Baldy", not Mommy or Daddy or Squeak or Little Girl or even Big Girl, they just want to smooch me. I think Big Girl will want to wedding me more than Baldy-Dumbhead. I'm gonna ask Mommy right now.


It's a Christmas Miracle!!!!

December 29th 2006 7:51 am
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Dear Diary,
My mommy found Squeak!!!!!!! He was under Little Girl's bed! I knew Chloe stealed him, but I never thought my Little Girl would have helped her.

Santa came to my house. I got cookies and bones and lots of stuffied things. Mommy says I was a very good boy and Santa loves me very much, so he brought me presents. I don't know, I don't think I've ever met him, but he did bring me good stuff so he must be okay. There is one thing though, this Santa guy brought Chloe and Little Girl stuff too, and they are Squeak Stealers!! They're not good boys they steal Squeaks and I don't think anybody loves Chloe very much, she's a Squeak Stealer, how could they?! Doesn' t make any sense to me.


Brady's Sad

December 6th 2006 5:02 pm
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Dear Diary,
I can hardly even write tonight. Squeak is missing!!! I have looked everywhere. Big girl and little girl have looked and Mommy has looked and looked. Where oh, where could my little Squeak be?!!!

I remember when Squeak and I were just little guys and we would play. Daddy would throw him and I would go chase him. Mommy would put Squeak in a bag and I would have to save him. I would shake the bag till Squeak would come out. Little girl liked to play hide and seek with me and Squeak, 'cept she always hides under Mommy's covers so it's not that hard to find her, but she's dumb like her Chloe and she thinks she is hiding so I pretend to not know where she is and then I go find her. Squeak loved when I would roll him up in sheet and then dig him back out or when I would roll around on the floor on top of him. Squeak used to think that was the bestest fun ever.

Oh, where could he be? We didn't have a fight. What will Grandmom say, she loves Squeak! When I go to her house she always says "Where's the Squeak, Puppy?" That's the kind of Squeak he is, everybody loved him. Maybe that dumbhead Chloe stealed him again! She is the stinkiest Stinky Kitten ever! Oh, no! Last night I was telling Squeak that I was going to ask Santa Claus for some puppy cookies for me and new hair for Matt, cause he cut all his off and I think it's weird and he scares me with his bald head. Diary, you don't think Squeak rolled all the way to the North Pole to talk to Santa for me! That would be TERRIBLE cause Santa won't came to my house for a really, really long time and Squeak and I have never been apart a really, really long time.

What am I going to do?



November 27th 2006 7:37 am
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Dear Diary,
I had a good Thanksgiving. I'm not sure what a Thanksgiving is, but my Mommy is really smart and she says "We had a good Thanksgiving." so, if Mommy says it was good then I guess it was. What was really good, Mommy was home for 4 days! We cuddled and walked.

Guess what happened yesterday. Me and the Squeak were just hanging out. I roll on Squeak and he squeaks. It is so fun and Squeakman loves it. He just squeaks and squeaks. Mom was playing in the sink making bubbles, she does that ALOT! Joe and squeak-stealer-Chloe were sitting near me. Dumbhead Chloe probably heard the Squeak and me playing and thought she might get a chance to steal the Squeak, but don't worry I was on to her, she is never going to steal the Squeak or even the Squeak's squeak ever, ever again! Well, anyway, the P-Man comes running from out of no where and jumps and throws himself against the wall. What is the matter with that kid? I stopped rolling on Squeak because he wanted to watch, Joe, Chloe and even Mommy stopped to watch. He just kept jumping up against the wall and sliding down. Mom said "P do you think you are Spiderman?" I'm not sure who Spiderman is, but he must be a weirdo because what kind of guy just runs and jumps up a wall and slides back down...a weirdo that's who. Oh man, that P is crazy, I told you diary the P is C-R-A-Z-Y. He makes me and Squeak laugh all the time!

Mmm, yummy little girl has cheese. Gotta go!


My Coat

November 15th 2006 10:18 am
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Dear Diary,
Sorry I haven't written in awhile. I have been trying to teach those stupid kittens, but I think it's hopeless! I don't like them and I see nothing good about them being here. But they have gotten bigger, so they've mostly stopped doing all the dumb things they did when they were "wittle bittie babies". Except, now we have another. What is with my sisiters they keep bringing these things home. This new one was only as big as the Squeak when I first saw him. Little girl gave him some white stuff from a little bottle. It wasn't bad, I tried it when no one was looking. His name is Dill Pickles, everybody calls him Pee Wee, or P-Man. I gotta tell you diary, the P is C-R-A-Z-Y! He jumps up out of boxes. He hangs on mom's curtains. He even tried to bonzai me the other day. He's wild. I like to pick him up and shake him, but my little girl starts yelling when I do it in front of her so we just do that game when she's not looking. He likes it.

But, that's not why I am writing today. Diary, since I was little like the P, I guess for 3 times now, when there are pretty leaves on the ground (they make noise when I walk thru them, and I don't like it so I don't walk thru them) my mom makes me wear my coat outside. Now, not that I don't look cool in my leather coat, the chicks go crazy for me, but I don't want to wear a coat! I'm tough...a rebel really and I just want to be free. Free to feel the wind on back, or up my butt depending on the direction, and I don't want to wear a coat. My mom is great, I love her and I don't want to hurt her feelings, but how do I get her to quit with the coat already. When I want to go out and play, she says "Honey bunny now wait you need your coat, it's cold outside" then out she comes with the coat. I guess at least it's not "that sweater", the blue one in the picture. My grandmom made it for me for Christmas, my mom thinks I look adorable in it, but I think I look like a fluffy pom pom. I don't know, maybe if I talk to dad.

Hey guess what happened the other day. Squeak went camping. What a crazy morning that was. I got up with mommy and tripped her like usual, that's just how I remind her not to forget Squeak and that us guys need to potty. Anyway, she says "Honey, I don't have Squeak what did you do with him?" "You DON'T have Squeak" I say!!! That's her job, to make sure I don't lose Squeak. What kind of crazy universe is this when a guys mommy doesn't watch out for his best friend? The Squeakman is defenseless against other guys chewing on him without me and mom! What is wrong with her?! Oh gosh, I am starting to hyper-ventilate all over again. Well, don't worry diary, we found him. Actually, it was my fault. I forgot that the night before when mom tooks us out to potty before bed, Squeakman asked if he could stay out and go camping, I guess maybe the other squeaks in the neighborhood were staying out too. Anyway, I had said yes, cause I wanted to be a cool dad, I know squeaks like to hangout together sometimes. So I let him camp in the yard. Well I guess I forgot and so it was a very scary time. Luckily mommy found him so, it's all good. I don't think I'll let the Squeak go camping again though. I don't want to cramp his style, but I am his dad so I have to think about his safety and mom said I'm lucky one of the squirrels didn't get him. I didn't even think of that! I'm probably lucky stupid Chloe isn't allowed out because she is still always after him.

Well, I got stuff to do. I'll write later.


This is W-A-R

August 10th 2005 7:37 am
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Dear Diary,
Another day on planet C-A-T, and life just keeps getting stranger. I got yelled at because I was trying to teach Joey to stay away from my food. Don't these people understand? Mom is head of the whole pack, but it's my job to watch and to teach little girl, Tubby, Joey and Chloe. And you can't put your face in a guys food, that's bad! But I got yelled it, "No, Brady don't bite the kitten!" How is he going to learn?
But that doesn't bother me too much, cause I have bigger bones to chew! Chloe, stoled the squeak from Squeakman!!! Remember how I told you she was playing with the Squeak, well now he doesn't squeak. I told my Mom. She picked up Squeak and tried to squeak him, but nothing came out. Then she was shaking him, and she said, "Listen honey something is rattling inside Squeaky, I bet the squeaker broke off." I don't know what that means, but I know it sounds bad. I can hardly even think about it. Squeakman has to squeak, he was born to squeak. Oh, that Chloe, I know she took it. She was jealous that none of her dumb toys squeaked so she took Squeakman's squeak.
I'm gonna go downstairs and tell Mommy it's either me or Chloe. I cannot live with squeak-stealer! And Mommy will definitely want to keep me cause I'm her boy, and cause I'm cute, and cause Mommy loves me, and besides Chloe is dumb and she smells and she steals squeaks. But, before she goes I'm going to tell Mom to make Chloe give me back Squeakman's squeak!!
I gotta go Diary, I have to go talk to Mom.


Those kittens are getting worse!

August 2nd 2005 12:56 pm
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Dear Diary,
Worse and worse and worse!
They go in my crate, drink my water and they want to play with my stuff. Diary, I'm one years old, I'm a big boy, the little baby stinky kittens can't play with big boy toys. The other day me and Squeaky Ball were watching mom make lunch, just sitting there minding our own business, hoping there was going to be a lunch snack for us....when the Chloe kitten walks over and hits Squeak! Squeak-man is MY best friend! Mommy, daddy and the sisters are only allowed to play with him if Squeak is with me. Like the other day, I carried Squeak over to Dad, dropped Squeak on the floor and we waited for Dad to play. Dad throws Squeak and I go get him, sometimes Dad and I fight over who gets to have Squeak next, but it's all good, clean fun and Squeaky loves it. Don't worry Diary, me and Dad aren't hurting the Squeak-man, he's round and made of bouncy-stretchy stuff, he loves it! So anyway, where was I, oh yeah stinky-kitten Chloe. She tried to play with the Squeak! And remember Diary I told you, the Squeak-man is round so he had to play with her. She hit him so he rolled, but I heard him squeak-out "No, I only play with my buddy Brady!". I looked at that Chloe and said, "You're gonna get it! I'm gonna..........!" but, I never did get to finish, cause Mom must have heard or something cause she picked me up before I could finish and before I could make 'stinky-kitten-Chloe-bits'.
I thought the Joey-kitten would be better. My dad works a lot so he isn't home too much, and my buddy Matt is too busy with my big girl sister to play with me, so I did sort of think it might be nice having another guy. But no, he's dumb too! Yesterday, I was waiting for my breakfast and he was laying on his back hitting my ear and biting at my foot. Well it hurt, so I put my foot on his chest and said, "How do you like it Joe?" The big baby squeaked so the big girl came running and said, "No Peaches. Joey is just a baby you'll hurt him." Yeah, a big cry baby, and why does big girl call me that...Princess Peaches, Baby Simba, Baby Fish-Mouth, Baby John. Most of those names are dumb, Princess Peaches is a GIRL'S name and I don't even know what a Baby Fish-Mouth is. I know I am too adorable, anybody can see that, Mommy says I am the most beautiful little boy she has ever seen, but I want to be called a cool name, a tough name, Rocky, Spike, Brutus or maybe Sarge. But I guess right now I need to focus, I have bigger a problem....those kittens!
Last night, Mom was sitting in front of the little tv making those clicky noises, and I heard her tell the little girl that there was a story about kittens being mailed in a box to Vermont and she said "Awww, but their okay". Yeah great, the world needs more kittens . I wonder if I could get Mom to mail, whatever that is , our kittens to Vermont. I'm not sure where that is, but I know it's not where I live, cause my mom read the charm on my collar to me and that isn't my house. So if the Vermont house likes kittens, they can have ours. And those kittens are rrrreally dumb, I know I could get them to go in a box. I bet Tubby would even help me.
Or maybe the next time me and mom go out, when it's time to come back in, I'll drop Squeaky Ball, get tangled in my leash or turn around and bark at nothing...just something that will distract her, cause the kittens are usually at the door being a pest, so then I'll get Tubby to push them out while Mom is busy with me. I'd be happy if Tubby would just sit on them and squish them, cause whatever way, it would be "Bye-bye kittens!"
Whoopee, here they come, 'Tee-hee-hee we're so little, we're so cute, look at us, look at us!' that's how they act. They're so dumb! The little girl just sat back down, I think I'll go make her take me out to potty and then not go. It's pretty funny when she gets mad. Maybe I'll even tell the big girl the little girl hurt me. The big girl will give me some of my puppy cookies and then she'll hit the little girl, but I'll get cookies so I don't think the little girl will mind. I'll talk to you later Diary.


The kittens!

August 2nd 2005 12:51 pm
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Dear Diary,
I have always been a puppy of few words, but I need to talk to someone. I have a really good life, plenty of treats, a squeaky ball that goes everywhere with me, sisters that have to do whatever I want and a mommy that thinks everything I do is special! Sometimes when I potty she even comes after me and saves it in little bags. I think it's strange, but it seems to make her happy. To each his own, I always say. Of course I don't like that whole bath thing...what is that all about and what is with the chick that cuts my hair, I tell her again and again, not much off around the tail (my tail is just gorgeous, really spectacular), but does she listen, no, just zzzzzup and I'm practically bare back there. But all in all I'm good. Then about 2 weeks ago my 2 sisters bring home this box and their talking to it. I thought it was weird, but they do a lot of weird stuff. I'm trying to see, but everybody's all "Brady stay down" so I didn't even get to sniff. They took the box in their room and closed the door. Mom picked me up and said "This is still mommy's boy" and smooched up my face. I kissed her back cause she likes that kinda stuff. Anyway, after a couple of days somebody says "Hold Brady, hold Brady" and then they finally open the door back up. Well diary, I was so excited, somebody got me two new squeaky furry things that move! YES! So, I was like let me down, but mom kept saying "Brady calm down! You'll scare the kittens." I tried to tell her that the squeaks don't get scared. I tried to remind her about the time bunny was bad so I had to bury him in Tubby's potty, it was his time out, anyway he wasn't even a little scared. Then bigger girl picked up the black squeaky kitten and held it so I could sniff........well when I leaned over to hit me. Okay, that was enough for me. Get it out! I won't have a squeaky toy getting scrappy with me. I told mom to forget it, me squeaky ball, bunny, puppy, booda puppy and teddy don't want some rowdy non-conformist in our crate. I told her just throw it out, take it back, bury it in Tubby's potty, whatever, but me and the gang didn't want it.
Now diary, here is the kicker, you'll never believe it, I live it and I still can't believe it. Get this, "Brady the kittens aren't a toy for you" they said, and that's not the worst of it, "They're little baby kittens we adopted". Yeah, you heard right. "Little baby kittens"! Okay, here's the thing....1) I don't like them. 2) The family is only suppose to use that smoochie-woochie voice with me. 3) The "little baby kittens" won't even play with me. & 4) I don't like them!
The only good thing that came of this kitten thing is, ~chuckle~, Tubby hates them. They eat her food, sleep in her spot and use her potty. Oh yeah, all of a sudden I wasn't looking so terrible to Tubby. She stays away from squeaky ball, I don't put things in her potty (I still don't see what's the big deal) and we get along just fine. But every now and then I've caught her giving me the stink eye, well not no more she don't. Now she wants to be Brady's new best friend. I told her, "I don't think so sweetcheeks, squeaky ball is my best friend and besides you couldn't be my pal when I wanted to be friends, so now...forget about it!" She can go play with the 'little baby kittens'.
Diary, the story just gets worse, but I'm going to see if I can talk mom into giving me a P-Nutz, so I'll have to tell you later.

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