These things I like...

Here is a list of things that I like that I had no idea before that I would like...
1) Wearing Clothing. Who knew that there was clothing for little dogs? Okay, so I too have done research and I now know that there are many outfits for dogs. My favorite is the one shirt that was put on me. "All Knowing" it said. The other dogs not only admired my fashion sense, but they also knew something about me. I know all. I admit this may not be true, but we should not tell them.
2) Stuffed Toys. I especially like the ones with the squeak. For days I had seen Duncan and the other striped dogs destroying these toys. But not all! I found the little white bear what squeaks and it was so much fun to play. I felt like a puppy again! Sometimes the big dogs take the toys from me, which I do not like. Yesterday Duncan tried to take the toy and I held on for dear life! Ha ha ha ha ha! If he was taking the toy then he was taking me with it! I liked that game on the slippery floors. Was I playing with Duncan? Perhaps, but not because he is my friend.
3) Chasing Stripey Dogs. Crazy stripey dogs! They wrestle and make noise and are too rowdy! They must stop! Now that I am moving better I run and chase them around. Foolish dogs. They run from me. Did I say I have corgi ancestors? Stripey dogs are not as smart as sheep. They run from me. They do not know that I am missing teeth.
4) Sneaking Outside. Sneaking out front, to be exact. One day when the lady put leash on other dog, I was hiding by front door. AHA! I was out, out where no dog has marked! Quickly I claimed the corner of front yard as my own. But the yard, it is not grassy like other yards, so there are many plants to claim. "Hurry, Orson!" I said to myself "time is running out!" The lady came to me, calling, but there was so much more to do! I ran down the sidewalk, to the next yard, and beyond, until I was tackled like football. Ha ha ha! Being caught was only small bit more fun than escaping.
5) Treats from Drawer. Each day, nice man gives treats from drawer when he leaves. I think to myself "I hope he leaves now. I hope he leaves now." even though I have utmost respect and admiration for man. But now that my teeth do not hurt so much, I like the cow and pig treats. Sometimes I wish to hide the treat from all other dogs and return to it later, but I know that is bad idea. So many noses sniff for my little treasure that I must return before long.
6) Words. Not any words, but words that I can translate to my language. I am happy when I know the word that nice lady speaks to me. "Sit" is good. Sit means I must put butt to floor, but also that something good is near. "Come" is run as fast as possible to the lady OR it is run faster than fast away from lady. Then she will pick me up and bring me to where she is. So confusing, but okay because, in the end, I am with nice lady. Now I know a good word, too: "insidethehouse" . This means I go inside house with other dogs. Once I was afraid of house, but now I understand insidethehouse and is good.
7) Bath or brush or scratch. I love them so. I do not care for paw clipping, but brushing is okay. Never before have I been brushed so much, but now I am so happy to be scratched. How can I not?

Then of course there is food and man in house and nice lady and other dogs. These I like, too, even Duncan. But do not tell him this. He chews on those he likes.

Ho boy! Adventure!

You have no idea how I love the car. If I was a people, I would be driving all day long. Wind in my face, life passing me by, this makes me a happy man.
Saturday the nice lady was gone so much. First she takes the crazy Duncan away and then back. Then with the other stripey dog away and back. Me! Me! Take me! Look! I have collar on! Put leash here!
Finally, she takes me and I am thinking we would be gone for a long time so, you know, I do my business at corner of property so no dogs take over the home while we are gone. Then we go for very short trip. There was hardly time for me to find good radio station and look for fallen cookies. We go to this leetle house where there is man and many smells. Ho boy. Let me tell you. I was not sure about where this might be. I smelled distinctly other animals, but no dogs there. So, I explore inside and outside (again with the business, just in case I am staying for a while). The man is nice, the food smells and box smells and carpet smells are nice.
The lady, she brings out this black beast for me to see. Good good, I see you thin beast. Never before have I seen such a thing. Not quite a dog but not too different from a dog, you know? Suddenly, it jumped from the couch and boom boom it is on the other couch. Gravity does not hold the magic black beast. I tried to look closer, but, as you know, jumpink is not for me.
Then I look and there is another nice lady, so much like my lady. Hello nice lady! Did you see the magic beast? Did you see the bird that lives up there? Did you feel the soft carpet? What? These are yours? Nice to meet you!
I decided this is a very nice place.
But do you know that sometimes things are not quite what they appear. Sometimes creatures lurk in dark spaces and corners and wait for you to see.
Again, I was looking high and low for new things to smell. Perhaps a biscuit somewheres? But no! Orson, adventure is everywhere waiting to pounce! Under the bed is a large beast with a big voice and dangerous teeth! HYAAAHYGH! I come with curiosity and I barely leave with all my face! HA HA! HA! Another magical beast! This one hides under the bed! I saw it there! I was not afraid at all, oh no. The nice ladies were not afraid, either, but they were also not so brave to look again like I was. HISSSS! Underbed beast was not pleased. But I am veeeeery pleased to say that I have seen the beasts and they did not harm me. I think if they knew me better, know that I am everybody's friend, then we could be peaceful together. Comrads.

I must escape this place.

The stripey one, Dunkcan, Dooncan, Duncant, however you say that dog's name. He is a blight, to me. A thorn in my side. A constant reminder that I am not young and pretty and fit and able to jump on furniture. He sickens me. All the time he is coming around and standing too close. I know he will put his paw on me. He even puts his tongue on me. Disgusting.
I growl at him and look! The nice lady looks at me! I do not know what she says to me, but she is lovely and I smile. She turns away so I growl again. She looks! Heaven! I smile! Again, Duncan is there with the bouncy bouncy so I GROWl! Come, nice lady, come and stop this beast! She turns and what do I see? I see her hand putting me separate from the others, separate from her, while that boy is still there. I imagine him sitting up on the couch, so proud, mocking me. "Orson? Where did you go? Why don't you come sit with me on the couch? Jump up here! No? You are in the other room? I hope it is comfortable there, with out the other dogs and without the nice lady and with no biscuits to eat." I do not like this one. I think of escaping this place, out to be free from his saccharine nature that gets me into such trouble. ..
But then the nice lady comes back for me, smiles at me, talks to me in such a nice way that I can tolerate the imp just one more day, I decide. Stupid stripey dog.

I slept on the bed last night.

I could not believe how lucky this little dog is. For the first time, instead of going into my wire den, I was placed onto the bed with my friends, Don Vito and Einschtein. The excitement was almost too much to bear. As comfortable as I was with the blankets and the pillows and the softness, I continually woke to make sure I was not dreaming. No, the nice lady was still there and my friends were there and I was with them on the bed. To show my grattitude I kissed the lady on the nose. I think I woke her, but she did not mind so much and scratched me behind my ears. One day, I hope to have a nice lady of my own and to curl up next to her at night. That would be good. For now I will practice making the sweet face so that I might be allowed to sleep on the bed again.

Yiy, the outing yesterday...

Zo, in the morning the woman does not feed me. This is not good, I am thinking. Then she goes to the magical place of good things for the pork products. Yes yes yes! But NO no no! She gives the others the pork and for me a leash and a trip in the car with the leetle corgi and the head dogk.
Again with the veterinarian! I tell you, this is no place for a dog. I know what is comink, so I lie on the scale and wish that I was not there. If only I was a type of turtula I could pull my limbs inside, but no. The whole day I am with these peeple, waiting and waiting with the corgi in the box with me. Then with the poking and the prodding and the drawink of blood and squeezing of things. But vhat can I do? The nice lady with the smooth skin says nice things to me, and I try to impress her with my handsome smile. I am not so greasy or smelly, she says. To me, I take this as a compliment. I would like to be seeing her again. I will go back to this place to visit maybe. I must think of some small gift to bring to her. There was love in her eyes, yes?
On the way back to the woman's house with the slippery floors, I ride in the back like a common beast. Twice the big one almost touches me. All the time with the touching from the other dogs!
Ahhh, but to be at the house again... Such a long day and then such a niiice rest on the big red couch... I would like to lie up there again, I think. Perhaps I will become strong again so that I can jump up. Once this old man you see was young and strong. Every day I would jump. But I am thinking I am not so old, eh? It is time to become strong again. For the couch!