October 11th 2008 2:31 am
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My sweet puppykins...as I sit here typing, I can't help but think about what I was doing exactly one year ago. Your daddy and I made the decision the evening of October 10, 2007 that it was time to let you go. You were so weak and obviously ready to rest...Daddy went down to the family room to sleep so he could get up for work...you and I spent the entire night together on the bed. You slept some, but you were uncomfortable.
During that last day, I watched the clock as the hours passed, knowing that each minute that went by meant I was that much closer to losing you. I selfishly wanted you to stay, but it wasn't fair to you. As hard as that last day was, I cherished every moment because you let me hold you as much as I wanted. The best times were those when I held you on my chest and I'd look down to see you staring at me...we just looked into each other's eyes so much that day. You were my "heartdog".
Your daddy came home early from work and we made a pawprint as a remembrance. Your Auntie Brenda came to see you one last time and you gave her some kisses. Then we took turns holding you as we waited for the vet to come to the house. You hated the vet's office so much...we didn't want you to be afraid. We lit candles and played Celtic music softly as we sat and told "Tigger stories". Then the vet arrived and it was time.
She let us get ourselves as ready as we could possibly be, then we all sat on the floor. I held you and your daddy had an arm around me and one around you. First you slipped into a deep sleep, and then it was time....I knew instantly when your soul was set free...I was the last thing you saw on this earth and that's what I'd hoped for. For a moment I wanted to scream "NO! Bring her back!" but then all I felt was a beautiful sense of peace...we looked at you and saw that at last you were free of the pain and discomfort the evil cancer beast had caused you.
I miss you so very much, but I know you're around from time to time and that you visit others (please keep watching over Dobsey!). When I saw you that last time at the crematorium I whispered to you "When the time is right, send me a Westie with 'tude, like you" and you took me at my word. Little Darby is so much like you sometimes it's spooky...you definitely had a paw in her joining the family. She can never take your place, but she fills some of the hole you left when you took a piece of my heart with you to The Bridge.
I know that Marcia was there to meet you when you crossed, and that you were there to meet Grandpa when he came in June. Recently Daisy joined you there and I pity the Gatekeeper (and the squirrels) with the "Four Westieteers" running wild there.
I wear the medallion with an image of your paw print and I kiss it, just like I used to kiss your paw...when I get the urge to kiss it, I know it means you're nearby.
On this "anniversary", I just wanted to say that we love you....we miss you terribly....and we know we'll see you again someday.
Fly with the angels, my sweet Tigs....
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