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World Domination will be mine...

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A song for Bean

March 7th 2010 5:58 pm
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Sung to the "Meow Mix" Song

Bean Bean Bean Bean
Bean Bean Bean Bean
Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean Bean

Come. Home. Now.



March 4th 2010 7:39 am
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So, our computer went completely kaput!! Ironically it was while mother was trying to update her anti virus software. So, I was unable to communicate with my pup pals for far too long!! More importantly, I MISSED A DATE WITH MY ATLEY!!

Yes, Atley and his family were going to a dog park, totally within driving distance of ME!!! They e-mailed Mother and me. But cause Mother is an idiot, we didn't get the e-mails. I am soooo mad right now, I don't think I will ever forgive her!! Unless she gives me some of the chicken in the fridge....

We have company this week. Mother's Dad and his wife are here. Mother is a little on edge, so I doubt she'll let me provide you with all the important (importante, if you speak Spanish) details of my life this past week. They are leaving on Sunday, so hopefully I can fill you all in after they leave and I pour Mother a stiff drink.

Love to you all!

Paws are crossed for Bean's homecoming!!!


Izzy, or izin't he?

February 25th 2010 5:47 pm
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Hee hee.

The other night, Mother was trying to get my attention.

Izzy, Izzy, Izzy...

The Man hollered from the other room, "Or isn't he?"

Just thought that was funny. It's how we roll around here :)

Anywhoodle, Neal, my Hound Mounds guy came today. I love him!!! Mother had never actually met him, so when she saw him in the backyard, she came out to join all of us and say "hiya!" to Neal.

Neal commented on Sammy - how cute and cuddly he is - whatever, right?!? He asked what kind of dog Sammy is (everyone asks this question...).

THEN, he turned his attention to me. He told Mother that I am a Chow Hound! He finds it funny that I can always sniff out which pocket he keeps his treats in and I will sit very, very still until he gives me a treat. He gives good head scritches too!

Neal also mentioned Maxwell. He said, "Yeah. Sometimes the old dog comes out to say hi, but usually he stays inside or keeps to himself."

Har har har!!! He thought Maxwell was "the old one"!! Technically, if you are looking at it chronilogically, I would be "the old one" - shhhhhh. Mother didn't correct him. She thought it was funny.

Anyway, Mother has been reviewing her budget lately. She's been cutting back on all the "extras". No more house cleaning, lawn mowing or fancy-dancy cable. I was worried that she would cancel my pooper scooper/Neal visits. So, after Neal left, I sat Mother down and told her, "Look lady, I need this service! This is not "extra". We're keepin' it. So, if that means shaving your legs and shakin' what the good Lord gave ya so you can pay for it, then so be it!"

I think I got through to her...



February 18th 2010 6:25 am
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Allow me to introduce Breed Standards for The Izzard:

Height: Approximately 2 feet tall at shoulders
Length: 3 feet long, not including tail
Coloring: Light blonde fur, with honey-colored low-lights
Tail: Curled, unless upset at the people, in which case it is stick straight
Bark: Shrill, sudden,and fear-inducing
Coat: Thick undercoat, prone to random shedding regardless of the temperature

Personality traits: The Izzard is known for her alpha-dog tendencies. She expects respect from other dogs in her household. While relatively independent in her thinking, the Izzard has been known to follow her human's lead when hot dogs are involved. The Izzard can be quite stubborn.
The Izzard is known for her strong prey drive. Using her lithe frame and fast-twitch muscles, the Izzard can be a great huntress - often catching her prey off guard. The Izzard prefers to hunt rabbits, birds and Pool Devils. If caught, the Izzard will present her catch to her humans, expecting praise, not shrieking and dry-heaving.
When tired, the Izzard will snuggle with her humans, often preferring to rest her head on said humans, rather than simply being near them. Izzards have been known to snore when sleeping soundly. While some may consider this a flaw of the breed, true fans of the Izzard acknowledge this as a plus.

Izzards make great companions for those who do not fear dog fur in everything, are not alarmed easily by sudden, shrill barking, and can provide adequate opportunities for hunting her prey.

**We LOVE all of our pup pals, regardless of pure bred-osity or not. Some of our besties are pure breds (you know who you are!!). Remember, shelter dogs can provide the same companionship as pure breds, often with more pizazz**
*Izzy sticks her paws out in "Jazz hands" fashion and sashays out of the room*


Instigator.. moi??

February 15th 2010 9:02 am
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Since Sammy has been home, we have ALL been working on behaving better. Sammy seems to think he should behave in order to earn praise from Mother. I am behaving better so I can score some turkey hot dog!!!

Mother has been monitoring our behavior very closely. She has come to the decision that, for the most part, I am the one who initiates the bad behavior.

Well, DUH!!

That's how I roll, chica!!

Usually the bad behavior revolves around barking like a mad dog at whatever I see outside the window.

I start off with a little "woof" - thus alerting Sammy (and Maxwell, if he is here) to stand at attention and follow my lead. Then we head to the front windows and commence with the barking!!

Since Sammy has been home, he has refused to play this game.


I also have a problem with "stay". As Mother is working with Sammy on this, I ask if I can play too. She obliges, thinking I am trying to better myself.


Hand over the smokie link lady!

She can manage to have us both "sit" and then "stay", but as she is backing away I shoot up and walk towards her. Sammy, seeing his fearless leader (me) do this, assumes it is okay for him to follow.

Mother becomes frustrated by this. Frustrating her can be almost as nice as getting a bit of hot dog!!

Mother said I need to start behaving or else she will have to put me in another room while she is training Sammy.

I may, I may not.


This morning...

February 12th 2010 8:55 am
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has been very exciting!

Maxwell and I snuggled Mother until she almost died from dog-hair inhilation. Then, she leashed us up and headed out for a walkie in the SNOW!!! The bestest part was when Mother fell on her bum-holey-o! Woo-hoo! No worries, she fell on her butt, so no damage done. Then, I played with a Wee One. Due to all the snow, lots and lots of Wee Ones were outside building snowmen. Noticing beauty even at a young age, lots of them asked to pet me (and Max...). Normally I don't care for Wee Ones, but the snow and the walkie all conspired to turn me into a lovable pup. What can I say - your fearless leader had a moment of weakness.

After the walk, Mother dried us off with a warm towel and fed us our breakfast.

THEN - Maxwell and I went on a barkfest!! Apparently some Medium-Wee-Ones (whom Mother finds to be absolutely annoying...) needed more snow for their snowman and traipsed through our front yard to get some.

Oh no they dinnit!! Maxwell and I barked our heads off at them for a good 5 minutes.

The day is shaping up to be quite nice!


Nice try

February 11th 2010 4:31 pm
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We ran out of squeeky-fetch-toys the other day. Mother and The Man made an emergency stop at Pet-Co to pick one up. Mother was shocked (shocked, I tell you!!) at the pi$$ poor quality of the toy. To the untrained eye - the toy looked the same, but upon closer inspection, it became painfully clear that the toy was merely a cheap facsimile meant to placate us pups until the store could stock the original (i.e. nice) ones.

Needing a squeeky-fetch-toy, the peeps purchased one of the imposter toys to hold us over. Mother and I used this "toy" to play a game of fetch the other day. It should come as no surprise to anypup that the cheap (actually it cost the same as the real toy.. WTF?) toy lasted only 1 night.

As Mother, Maxwell and I were driving home from Crappy Town last night, Mother stopped by another Pet-Co, hoping to snag a few real squeeky-fetch-toys. She scanned the aisles... nothing. Not even the cheap/flimsy imposter toy. PANIC! So, Mother grabbed a toy that was the same general shape as our favorite toy, knowing it probably wouldn't pass our inspection.

This morning, Maxwell and I were raring to go! Mother grabbed the new toy and tossed it. Maxwell took off after it - I was too smart to be fooled. I could tell by the way it sailed through the air that it was NOT the appropriate toy. Maxwell was fooled a few more times, but eventually even he caught onto what was going on. Soon enough, Mother was throwing the toy and neither of us pups were fetching it.

She gave up and asked The Man to check to store by his house for any new shipments of the toy.

This has the potential to be bad, very, very bad.



February 11th 2010 7:23 am
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Bored, bored, bored.

That's me.

I have been staring at Mother, pawing at her incessantly. PLAY WITH ME!!! Occasionally she obliges and will play fetch or rub my belly, but inevitably the "fun" stops.

It has been suggested that I work on my application to Terriorist Camp. But, apparently you need letters of recommendation. I don't know of any terriorists, personally.

Mother and I went to Crappy Town last night, so that was nice. It was even more exciting when Maxwell said he wanted to come home with us. So now I have some company.

Hopefully Maxwell and I can combine our strengths and convince Mother to play more fetch with us.

Over and out.


The Izzard has landed

February 6th 2010 8:47 pm
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Mother has been moping around for the past week. She spent most of her days in her p.j.'s (the ones with sewn in bunny feet, no less), totally ignorning me and my needs!!

I told her, "Look, I realize you have a personal life, but if you want to work for me, I need you to give me 110 percent of your attention in order for this relationship to work. Understand?"

Her silence was deafening.

Anywhoodle, a few updates:
I received the most FABOOO birthday card from Biscotte (innit she purty!!) and Tippy and the cat-sibling Crouton - from Canada! It was in French - I feel very sophisticated now. I made Mother display it on our mantle.

My leg is still gimpy. Mother keeps telling me that I just need to "be still" for a day or so and it will be fine. She is threatening to put me on bed rest if I can't contain myself. But, hey, you can't stop the Izmeister from movin' and shakin'! Although, Mother does make a good point about actually allowing my leg to heal... hmmm.

Maxwell is staying with me ALL WEEK! This isn't really all that exciting. He tends to hog the bed and stare at himself in the mirror all day (things *I* should be doing), so really, he's kinda stealing my thunder.

I have found that I love eating apples. But as Mother found out today, I do not care to eat an apple that you present to me as a treat. No. I prefer to eat the apple that YOU have cut up in order for you to eat. There is a difference pals, trust me.

That's all for now! Thanks for all the well-wishes cuties!


Birthday! Birthday! Birthday!

February 1st 2010 8:15 am
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So far, today is shaping up to be a pretty sweet day for yours truly!

Mother put a little dab of cream cheese in my kibble -woo-hoo!

I also happened to see a small package of ground turkey in the fridge - that can't be for her, so it must mean turkey burgers for me!!!

At some point Mother has said she may take me for my birthday walk, thus allowing me to prance around the neighborhood. Sadly, I have a bit of a tweaked passenger-side front leg. When we were playing fetch on Friday, I zigged when I should have zagged, so I have been laying low, letting it heal. Mother said it looks better, so maybe a walkie later today!!

And the most exciting thing is all of the wonderful pressies from you pups!! While I cherish ALL of them, my most favorite is from my Sweet Sam. He sent me roses from The Bridge!!!

Anywhoodle - off to incessantly paw at Mother!


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