World Domination will be mine...

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Spirits! Voices!

August 14th 2010 7:06 am
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As Maxwell alluded to in his diary, we were left home alone this past week (we had our usual butlers stop by, so we weren't completely alone, no need to call the SPCA).

Mom had closed up all the doors to the bedroom and left us to roam free in the rest of the house. Unfortunately, at some point during the week, The Voices started. Taunting me, whispering to me, enticing me to do bad things. I told Maxwell about The Voices -he heard them to. So, we set up an investigation to determine where The Voices originated from (NOT my head, as some may have previously thought). As it turned out, The Voices were hanging out in Mom's bedroom, at least that is what our investigation determined. The closed door would have been a hinderance to a normal dog, but Maxwell excells in opending closed doors.
Abracadabra Open Sesame! The bedroom door opened and we headed to the far wall, near the window. We worked in tandem to tear up the carpet in order to get to The Voices and silence them. After a few minutes of tearing up the carpet - we realized that there really were no Voices, merely some critters OUTSIDE the house, underneath the window.
Whoops. My bad (and Maxwell's too...).

Sorry Mother!

 

Cheater!!

August 1st 2010 7:38 am
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Mother has been "working" quite a bit lately. Well, at least, that is what she has been telling me. It has been very, very hot here (as I'm sure it is where you live). But, it's Texas in the summer, so the heat and what not is not really a surprise.

It is nice weather for a swim. So I have been waiting patiently for Mother to load me into the Coop and head over to The Man's house in Plano for a little Pool Devil Huntin' time! Alas, with all of her "working" my pool time has been cut drastically.

I'm all about Mother working. As it was explained to me, apparently things like kibble and squeaky toys do not just magically appear in my house (really???), they have to be bought with this thing called "money". Mother says she is able to have "money" when she works. So, I allow her to work. This weekend Mother said she had to "work". That's fine. Get some of this "money" stuff and bring me more squeakys, m'kay?

So, Mother comes home last night (supposedly from "work"). I run to greet her, but quickly take a step back... I sniff her. Strange.

Sniff Sniff...

I call Maxwell over and ask him for his opinion. Maxwell does what Maxwell does best - he licked her.

I look to him for confirmation. He nods his head.

CHLORINE! Mother smelled/tasted of chlorine!
That could only mean 1 thing... the traitor went swimming! Without me!!!

I bark my indignation! Mother tried to explain that she really did "work" all day, but then went to The Man's house after work, as his house is only about 3 blocks from her hospital, and swam. But only after she worked a full day - so she says...

LIAR!! LIAR!! LIAR!!

Mother left this morning for "work" again. I don't even bother to believe her anymore. My world has been shaken. Up in down. Left is right. Right is wrong.

Mother is a cheater!!

 

Izzy Kissys for all!!!

July 27th 2010 8:07 am
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I got him, pups.

I got him goooooood.

On Sunday, The Man came over. I greeted him with my usual exuberance. I have been rather puppy-like lately, so my greeting involved lots of jumping and bouncing. Soon enough, he sat on the couch. Sadly, I was not done saying, "HI! HI! HI!"

The Man sat next to Mother on the couch, as he turned to say something to her, I made my move. His mouth was open... I planted a big wet one on (in!) his mouth.

I french kissed him!!! Hee hee hee!

Oh la la! I smirked as I jumped off the couch. The Man was not nearly as amused as I was.

"Germs! Yuck! Blech!" he yelled as he wiped his mouth. Mother asked him if he had ever been kissed by me or Maxwell before.

"Nooooo! Of course not!" he sputtered as he took a HUGE swig of wine to "kill the cooties".

I would have been offended at his slight over-reaction, but the humor of the entire situation won over.

It was CLASSIC!!

 

Mother's Home!!!

June 29th 2010 6:03 am
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Mother finally made it back to us on Sunday afternoon! I was so excited to see her, I stuck to her like white on rice..until I fell asleep 3 hours later. I missed my mom, and wasn't afraid to let her know.

While she was gone, Maxwell and I played and played and played!! At one point, The Man was stopped by a co-worker, asking if he now has a "yellow dog" in addition to Maxwell (everyone knows Maxwell in Crappy Town). Turns out we were spotted on one of our Great Escapes and as such, The Man put us in lock down, only allowing us out to tinkle and poo. Speaking of poo... I rolled in some. Yup! Friday night. Found a delightful pile o' poo and rolled my neck in it. The Man was NOT amused, to put it lightly. This was also the same time that Maxwell was trying to entice the poker guys into petting him by licking them incessantly. In Maxwell's defence, it's no surprise that Maxwell is a licker, so if anyone is dumb enough to wear shorts or sandals around Maxwell, then really, they are just asking to be licked.

So, Maxwell and I were banished to another room until we could be "talked to". I was bathed, scrubbed and reprimanded appropriately.

Saturday was rather uneventful. Sunday afternoon, I saw Mother walk in and SMILED!! Yeah! Maxie and I loved on her and insisted on pets. She obliged. The Man may have gotten a kiss too, in between our lovins.

Soon enough, we all settled on the couch, Mother was scritchin my neck and noticed something odd. She told The Man that I had a tick!! The Man replied, "It's probably just dried poo." Mother told him, "That's not okay either!!" Sure enough, I had a tick on my neck.

ACK!! It was removed, and The Man was reprimanded for failing to notice. His defence was that he gives me "tough pets" meant to toughen me up, and as such, would never scritch my neck. Whereas Mother gives me "sissy" pets.

So, now I'm home and VERY tired. Mother is slightly concerned about me being so tired, but for now is chalking it up to a week of partying with the boys.

Apparently Mother and The Man are leaving for their annual vacation on Friday, so she will be leaving me AGAIN!! This time, our pal Cal will be checking on us.

For being un/under-employed, Mother sure does leave me a lot...

 

All about ME!!

June 16th 2010 11:01 am
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My secretary has been a total LOSER lately! She has been "working" and as such claims to not have had the time/energy to transcribe my dictation. I shook my paw in her face and said, "You work for me, lady!" Apparently it worked, as she is now typing what I am barking.

Allow me to provide you with a pupdate about Yours Truly:
1. I had my yearly vet exam this week. The past 3 years I have had titers done for my vaccines, but, apparently, after 3 years of titers, vaccines are required. So, I got all hopped up on my vac's, except the Leptosporosis. Mother asked if it was necessary for me to get that one, since I never am around public water sources, ponds, lakes, etc., BUT, Maxwell does hang out at the water hazards at the golf course. The vet said that since Lepto is spread through urine, I don't need the vaccine since it is unlikely I will come in contact with Maxwell's tinkle...
2. The vet and tech kept throwing around the term "senior". It took me a few moments to realize they were referring to ME! Yes! Apparently any pup over the age of 7 is considered a Senior Dog! I. Was. Appalled! I looked at Dr. Cissek and then pounded out a few sit-ups and push-ups, then said, "Would a 'senior dog' be able to do that?!? Huh? Didn't think so!!" And then I mentally flipped her the bird.
3. Dr. Cissek admitted that I am healthy as a pup! Good weight, good teeth, healthy heart, and so on. Phew!
4. Mother is leaving on a road trip on Friday. She is leaving me in the care of The Man. I'm pretty jazzed about this, as The Man is rather lax with the rules when it comes to us pups. Mother, on the other hand, is petrified. She is convinced The Man will let us throw a few keggers and take us to the casino or something. I think she needs to just chillax.
5. On her road trip Mother is going to meet Gussie, Josie and Kiko, Sunny Lee (my twin!!) and also she is going to see Bodhi again!! She is quite excited about that!! But, most importantly, she is going to meet my beloved Sam's mom (and his siblings). Yes! My sweet Angel Sam!! The same Sam that she named our Sammy after! She is going to stay at the Casa de Sam!! Oh!!!!! (excuse the lack of links to the respective pups, the secretary is lazy. sigh) Can you believe it!! All of those pup pals!! When she first started planning the trip, everyone asked if I would be joining her. Because, you know, I am awesome. When she told them that it would just be her, no Izzy, I'm sure many, if not most of them wanted to retract their invite. I mean, who wants to meet just Mother??

That's about it from Izzard Land!

 

This weekend...

June 6th 2010 3:52 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 5 people already have ]

Mother and The Man went to Austin on Friday, thus leaving us pups to our own devices. Actually, we weren't completely alone, as our pal Cal stopped by to entertain us twice each day.

Apparently The Man had some business to attend to (putting up For Sale signs on his property) near Austin, and they decided to make a weekend away out of the situation - today is The Man's birthday, so they combined work with play!

The Peeps came home this evening, and I am not ashamed to say I acted like a sweet pup when they walked in the door. I jumped and licked and wagged my tail when I saw them!

"Oh, you're home!! I've missed you soooooo much!" I ran back and forth between the two of them, expessing my love.

Unusual for me, I know. But sometimes you just gotta let the peeps know you missed them.

Tomorrow Mother has to take The Coop into the shop for a tune-up. She is going on a road trip and wants to make sure The Coop can handle it. Normally, it takes for-frickin'-ever for the car people to work on her car... so Mother thought if she takes me along with her, they may speed up their work. I laughed when she told me her plan. We all know that taking me along will only slow them down, as they will all need to love on me and tell me how pretty I am.
Duh!

Oh well, she is taking me anyway and said we could stop by the pool afterwards! Woo-hoo - new adventures for Izzy!!

 

He should be so lucky!

May 27th 2010 3:15 pm
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Mother and I trudged up to Crappy Town last night. She dropped me off at The Man's house and then she drove over to his office. The Man's office is only 1 block from his house, but a thunderstorm was imminent, and Mother thought The Man may want to ride home in the safety of a car, rather than walk in the elements.

Apparently, as the story was relayed to me, The Man walked to the car, opened the door, noticed the amount of "Izzy hair" on the seats, and said he'd walk home.

Excuse me?!?

Does my fur offend you?

Mother realizes that there is quite a bit of fur de Izzy in the car (you're welcome!), but cannot think of more than 1 or 2 days in a row where I won't be accompanying her in the car, thus making the option of having the inside of the car de-Izzy'd futile.

Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on whose side you're on...), the rain held out as The Man walked home.

Offended?
Yes, yes I am.

 

Unfair!!

May 21st 2010 7:44 am
[ Leave A Comment | 6 people already have ]

Wednesday night, Mother promised (promised!!) me that she would take me to the pool so I could work on my attack maneuvers, Thursday morning. She said we would forgo our typical morning walkie and instead head straight to the pool.

Yippie!! I was so excited I hardly slept at all that night! In fact, at 12:38 AM, I was so happy, I decided to stand in the back yard and bark, bark, bark about my happiness. I barked non-stop for about 10 minutes. Normally I don't do this, so Mother was thinking that maybe someone was trying to break into the house. She put the slat into the doggie door and grabbed a big kitchen knife and headed back to bed. We both slept fitfully, but for different reasons.

At 6:30 Thursday morning, Mother's phone rang - never a good sign. It turns out, one of the RD's she works with had a very sick doggie and needed Mother to work for her, if possible. I barked into the phone, "No! She is NOT available!" But Mother corrected me and said she could just move some things around (she had other appointments scheduled later in the day as well), and would be there to work the full day.

I. Was. Peeved.

I ate my breakfast in a huff and then went out into the backyard to pout. Mother was getting ready to leave for work and tried to lure me inside for my "good-bye" treat. I wouldn't budge. I made her come outside to give me my treat. Mother pointed to the sky and told me it was going to rain anyway, so even if she didn't work, the pool trip may have had to be nixed anyway.

Sure enough, the rain started shortly after Mother left for work. I would have gotten wet at the pool with or without the rain, so I really don't understand her logic.

She promised to reschedule the trip for Sunday - weather permitting...

I'm still mad.

 

Numero Uno!!

May 13th 2010 6:07 am
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The Sunday morning paper had a list of the most popular names for the past year... number 1 for chicas....?
Isabella!!

That's right!

I'm number 1!!

In previous years, the name Maxwell had been the most popular name for boys, but not this year!!

The name Sammy (or Samuel) wasn't even on the list!!

I ran around shaking my booty in everyone's faces!!

"I'm number 1!!" *shakey-shakey to the left*

"I'm number 1!!" *shakey-shakey to the right*

AND... the second most popular name for girls....?

Emma!!

Know what my name was while I was in foster care?

That's right!! EMMA!!

I just cannot lose!

Number 1 baby!

**Shakey-shakey**
**Shakey-shakey**

 

It's hunting season!!

May 6th 2010 6:03 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 5 people already have ]

Mother took me and Maxwell with her to The Man's house today. She had to put up some painting tape, and thought it would be a good day to officially start Pool Devil Hunting Season!!!

She flipped a switch, and next thing I knew - there is was!! It. Was. On!!!!

For the next hour I stalked the Pool Devil. At one point I reached a bit too far over the ledge and fell a$$ over tea kettle into the pool! Yes! I was completely IN THE WATER!! Fortunately I managed to stick the landing. I looked pretty sophisticated as I floundered and flailed my way to the steps (I was already in the shallow end, near the stairs). Mother thought it was funny. Truth be told, it wasn't so bad. My tail didn't even go straight like it normally does when I fall into the water (or am thrown into the water by a certain *Man*)...).

Mother says we are headed back tomorrow, so I can continue my hunt!!

I love hunting season!!!

 
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