World Domination will be mine...

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I told you so!

September 29th 2010 9:13 am
[ Leave A Comment | 3 people already have ]

It is impossible to make me distasteful. Impossible!!

The fleas love me! I have been eating my garlic for a week now - and the fleas still find me oh-so loveable!!

Mother is pulling her hair out in frustration, though. She has been giving me daily baths, Furminating me 2-3 times per day, and manually inspecting me every night. She has been using some natural flea and tick shampoo (it smells divine!! - essential oils and stuff) and sprayed the yard and patio with organic bug killer. The Man has been dutifully spraying Maxwell with the organic flea/tick preventive oil (although he does still complain that Maxwell now "Stinks"). When Maxwell arrives tonight, Mother will be throwing him in the shower and giving his a thorough scrub down with the flea and tick shampoo. I suspect he will be none to happy with that, as he is used to his Aussie Mega Volume Shampoo - seriously.

Mother does not want to use any harsh chemicals on me, but we're kinda running out of options.

But, the good news is I TOLD YOU SO!!!! It is impossible to find me distasteful!!

 

Whoopsie!

September 28th 2010 12:21 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 1 person already has ]

Hee hee hee!

Pongo totally stole my recent diary entry!

I was the one who was supposed to be telling you pups to go make friends with Willie and Luna!!!

Geesh!

Good help is so hard to find.

 

The dangers of GWP

September 24th 2010 9:47 am
[ Leave A Comment | 9 people already have ]

GWP.
Are you pups familiar with this? Perhaps your Moms are (or,heck, even your Dads - I don't judge). GWP - Gift With Purchase. Typically this is seen at cosmetic counters. When the humans buy an item equal a certain amount, they receive a lOVELY make-up bag filled with lots of goodies.

Mother is a sucker for this. She has even conned The Man into keeping his ears tuned for these special events.

Well, the other day, Mother decided to clean out her bathroom storage area, and realized that *perhaps* she has gone a bit too crazy with the GWPs, as she had about 6 make-up bags and their respective free goodies still in them. Mother cleaned out the bags, took them to the local resale shop and then sorted through the freebies. As it turns out, she has a lot (!!) of lipsticks. A. LOT!

So now, Mother has been trying to use her lipstickies. What does this mean for Izzy...? Lots and lots of lipstick marks on my forehead. Just like this.

This has to end. My forehead is tinged with lipstick and sticky from the gloss she has thrown into the mix.

I'm suffering pups. Serious.

 

Distasteful??

September 21st 2010 6:13 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 6 people already have ]

Mother found a flea on me. She hunted it down and then killed it. But still, she knows there are more. We have been going au naturel in terms of medications and flea/tick prevention. Mother is very concerned about the chemicals scrambling our brains, so we have been going without the flea/tick stuff. Mother was supposed to start supplementing my diet with garlic. She had read that giving pups a small clove of garlic each day (a SMALL clove!) will make the pups aroma somewhat undesirable to the fleas. Yeah. I know. She wants to try to make *me* distasteful! I know, right?!?

Anyway, Mother forgot to add the garlic to my kibble. She just started it last night. I have been receiving a (small!!) clove of garlic with my night time chicken stew. I love my stew so much I don't even notice the offensive garlic. It won't get rid of the current fleas, but it should prevent others from becoming too fond of me.

Now all she has to do is get rid of the rest of the little buggars.

I know... me, distasteful?!?!

 

Understanding royalty

September 19th 2010 6:05 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 7 people already have ]

Mother's brother, Uncle Eric, has been planning a visit to Texas. He has some training to do nearby (he flies helicopters!!), and Mother offered to let him crash at my (our) house. Uncle Eric is also the proud papa of Cousin Angel. It's been a long time since I've written of Cousin Angel. She stayed with us for a few months about 5 years ago. She and Pongo got along fantabulously!! Me and Angel... not so much. There is room for only 1 diva in this house, and I did not take too kindly to Angel trying to usurp that position. Mother and Uncle Eric kept trying to tell me the Angel had no intentions of trying to take over my spot as Numero Uno Diva, but it took a few days of me watching Angel closely to realize they were right.

So, anywag. Uncle Eric was originally going to be in Texas for a little over 2 weeks, most of that time he would be in a hotel, but would have left Angel with me (us). His plans changed, and he sent Mother an e-mail yesterday asking her to "ask her royal highness Izzy if it would be okay if Angel stays with you guys all weekend and then again in November."

He gets me.

And FYI, it's fine with me if Cousin Angel stays with me (us) in October and then again in November. As long as she understands her place...

 

Me!!!

September 10th 2010 10:13 am
[ Leave A Comment | 7 people already have ]

I want to tell you all about me!! It's been so long since I have had a chance to tell you all about me!!
Me!
Me!
Me!
So, let's see...
1. Mother had a birthday a few days ago. This is supposed to be about me, so that's all I will say about Mother. Except that, she made a cake. Chocolate with marshmallow frosting. I know what you're thinking... "YUM!" But, no. Gluten free chocolate. Uck. She set the cake on the counter while she gathered plates for her and The Man. When her back was turned, I went for it! I hadn't counter surfed in forever, and thought it would be a great opportunity! No. No it wasn't. I did enjoy the frosting, but found the cake to be ehh. Mother did too. So did The Man. The cake was promptly dumped. I did have some marshmallow frosting on my whiskers for awhile after that :)

2. I went to the dog park a few times! Mother stopped taking us due to the fact that so many people think that a dog park is a great place to take their ill-mannered dogs. And also, 'cause Maxwell likes to hump other dogs. But, Maxwell was staying with us for a week and had some PENT UP ENERGY! So Mother sucked it up and took us to the park. Overall, we were rather unimpressed. Which is funny, because the last time we were there we had a blast! Now, I've matured. I can do better. I hung by the gate, asking to leave about 5 minutes after arriving. We played indoor fetch instead of going back to the dog park.

3. I tried the Proportions Food Challenge. They went to all the trouble of sending me some free food, so I would like to tell you a bit about the experience. Overall, not bad. I really enjoyed the separate packaging for all 3 courses. Chicken with pumpkin, dry kibble, and dried herbs/fruit/veggies. Mother didn't even have to stir it up, I gulped it down right quick! I even licked the bow1! Yum-o! Mother said she would look into ordering some for me, but suspects that the cost would prohibit me from being able to eat them for every meal. Maybe just for dinner. But the way cool thing is you can upload your picture and have YOUR PICTURE on your dog food! Mother said if she order the food, she would have them put MY PHOTO on the food. Which, really, everyone should have my picture on their dog food.

That's all the time I have. I'll try to keep you updated more often :)

 

Neener, neener, neener

August 30th 2010 5:29 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 11 people already have ]

As pups who read Maxwell's diary know, The Man recently bought a new(er) car. Maxwell was all kinds of psyched to ride in the new(er) car. Well guess what...?!?

The Man has thus far refused to let Maxwell ride in the new(er) car (claims of "muddy paws" and "dirt" were thrown around). But last night, *I* was allowed to ride in the new(er) car!

That's right pups! You see, The Man decided to keep his old car in order to provide transportation to and from the golf course and the running trails. That way he would still have a "Maxwell-friendly" car, meaning the car could get as dirty as possibly without griping from The Man.

Well, his garage in Crappy Town is too small for 2 cars. Mother's garage, however, is not. So, last night we all drove up to Crappy Town in the old car (Mother and The Man then took a road trip to Oklahoma so Mother could make a fool out of herself at a concert...). When the peeps came home, Mother hooked my leash on me and we headed to the NEW(ER) CAR!!

Maxwell's mouth hung wide open! I loved it! That's right Maxwell! Lookit me! Look at how SCHWEET I look in the new(er) car! Mother and I took off down the road, with Maxwell's pathetic face disappearing quickly behind us.

We drove home with the radio blaring, cruisin' in the new(er) car.

The car is now parked in the garage, just waiting for me to take it for another ride!

 

Mmmmm-mango!

August 27th 2010 9:58 am
[ Leave A Comment | 5 people already have ]

Mother worked til late-o'clock last night. When she got home I was HONGRY and, also, I may have needed a few snuggles.

Mother gave me my kibble, and a few scritches. Then, she sat on the couch with her dinner: mango slices and some chips.

I looked at her with my beautiful eyes, pleading with her to share some of her yums with me. Finally she gave in and gave me a slice of mango.

Wow!! I have never eaten mango before. Holy cow, that stuff is good!

I immediately flashed my smile at Mother again. Three slices later, Mother said I had had enough.

This morning, Mother gave me my usual bowl of kibble. I balked.

Where was my mango?!? I smiled at Mother.

Nada.

I flashed my brown eyes.

Nuthin'.

Mother told me it was kibble or nothing.

I settled on nothing.

I have tasted the sweet land.. and I want MORE!!

 

Wha???

August 23rd 2010 10:32 am
[ Leave A Comment | 4 people already have ]

The peeps came home with a new squeaky toy! It's a long white cat-type thing. It squeaks, it crunches and it makes a kitty-kat meowing like sound. Tres cool!

I love it! I walk around the house carrying it in my mouth. It's almost as long as I am! Mom said it's a good thing it is soft, due to the fact that I tend to plow into people's legs as I carry it around.

This weekend, as I was playing with my new toy, Maxwell decided he wanted to play with it. Maxwell grabbed onto one end of it. I looked at his and growled.
"Paws off buddy."
Maxwell looked at me, stuffy still in mouth, and growled back.
"Make me."

Mother looked at both of us and took the stuffy away, saying our behavior was "not okay".

We both looked at Mother and asked her what the big deal was, we were just playing. Geesh! Humans can be sooooo sensitive!

Now gimmie back my stuffie!

 

Fan Me!! Fan me, Minions!!

August 16th 2010 3:15 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 2 people already have ]

I'm hot!!
I'm the only one of us pups who has a serious undercoat, so Mother has been trying to brush, brush, brush me with the Furminator. On Saturday, she ended up with a HUGE pile of Izzy fur. Sunday, she Furminated me again, and again a HUGE pile of Izzy fur was produced. *I* wanted to save it up and send it to my sweet Atley. Mother said no.
Sunday night it was soooo hot in our house I could NOT get comfortable! We had the AC cranked up, but the house wouldn't cool past 82 degrees. Ugh. I kept wandering from room to room trying to find the coolest spot. Eventually I settled on the bathroom floor (NOT by the toilet, I do have my standards...).

In the morning, I told Mother that I wanted - nee, needed a Dyson Air Multiplier. Again, Mother said no.

Instead, she purchased a simple fan. A boring, simple "oscillating" black fan.

Yeah, it cools.
Yeah, it's relatively quiet.
Blah, blah, blah.

I want my DYSON!!

 
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