World Domination will be mine...

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I'm Nutty

September 27th 2011 5:50 pm
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It's that time of year pups...acorn time!! Every fall, the tree in out backyard drops tons and tons of acorns/acorns-to-be. I drives Mother crazy! This is the fourth year in a row that she will shake her fist at the tree and curse it to high heaven.

I, on the other paw, love this time of year! One: I like to see Mother go bat-poop crazy trying to keep up with the falling of the acorns. And two: I find the acorns to be quite a delish snack-ette. I find them particularly yummy at 3:00 in the morning. I will go out, grab a few acorns, bring them in to munch on them on my bed, then go back out for more. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Realizing that the acorns have the potential to be toxic to me, Mother made her first attempt today at cleaning up the fallen nuts. She swept and scooped for 45 minutes, to no avail, as the tree kept spitting more and more at her.

Finally she gave up for the day, choosing instead to keep an eye on me during the day, and locking me in the house at night - until the tree stops spitting more acorns at her.

I'm trying to be sneaky and grab a few acorns to munch on, managing to grab only 1 or 2 today. They really are quite tasty!!

The Man told me not to tell Maxwell how much I love the acorns, lest Maxwell mistake me for a squirrel and start chasing me around the house.

Bon appetite!

 

Difference of opinion

August 31st 2011 7:03 am
[ Leave A Comment | 8 people already have ]

Mother took me swimming yesterday. All was fine and good until Mother announced that she had to go to an appointment and I needed to come inside. Apparently she didn't feel safe leaving me to stalk the Pool Devil without adult supervision.

When I pointed out that I didn't need to come inside, that I was perfectly capable of swimming to the edge if I fell into the pool, Mother pointed out that I have only ever swam to the edge and HOPPED OUT of the pool when I wasn't tired. After chasing the Pool Devil for an hour, I would be tired, and unable to HOP OUT of the pool, despite successfully swimming to the edge. I guess she has "seen this with her own eyes" or something stupid like that.

Mother was firm in her decision to not let me swim/stalk alone. I was furious! She was stubborn. I CAN swim! Mother pointed out that the issue wasn't whether or not I could swim, but whether or not I could swim and get out of the pool when fatigued. She says I probably couldn't and wasn't going to risk it. End. Of. Discussion.

It's difficult to stand your ground when your Mother scoops you up and carries you inside.

Poo.

 

Princess and the Pea

August 18th 2011 6:35 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 5 people already have ]

As you all know, Maxwell got a new bed for his birthday. It's one of those egg crate-y, tempurpedic things. We have a similar one (but smaller) in front of the front windows. I frequently can be found lounging on the bed in from on the windows. I find it comfy.

When the new bed was introduced, Mother threw the older bed - that had been at the foot of the human bed for over 4 years!!- to the side, planning on placing it in the big trash can towards the end of the week. Well, pawsonally, I was not ready to give up my tried and true bedroom bed so easily. I, thus far, have refused to sleep on the new bed, preferring to catch my beauty sleep on the old bed. Three nights in a row, Mother has seen me jump off the human bed when it is beddy bye time (I'm not much of a snuggler during the night), onto the new bed, and then immediately over to the old bed.

Mother said I'm like the Princess and the Pea, being very particular about my comfort when sleeping. Just because something is new, doesn't mean it is better, pups! Although Maxwell is quite fond of his new bed. He is not a sensitive as some of us...

 

Swimmin' and sunnin"

July 10th 2011 5:22 am
[ Leave A Comment | 6 people already have ]

It has been H-O-T bere in Texas, pups! Of course it is H-O-T every summer in Texas, so this really shouldn't be a surprise. What *was* a surprise to me is how little time I have been provided for chasing the Pool Devil! Last summer I was able to hone my hunting skills at least 2x/week. Now I"m lucky if I get to go once per week! My chauffeur has a whole lot of excuses, namely that she has been given more hours at work, and thus has fewer hours available to drive me to and fro. My argument (and I think you'll agree it's a good one), is that the Pool Devil and the hospital where Mother works are merely a few miles from each other. She *could* very easily drop me off on her way to work and then pick me up when my pool slayin' is done. Heck, she could even stop by for lunch and wow at my skills!

Mother, of course, poo-poo'd that idea. Some mumbo-jumbo about my safety and heat stroke, yada-yada-yada.

So now I'll have to take what I can get, in terms of Pool Devil hunting. Yesterday I went and managed to score a few points against it. Mother and The Man took pictures, but they look pretty darn close to all of the previous pictures of me by the pool. Beautious, of course, but the same.

Sigh. I need a new chauffeur. Now taking applications!

 

Sleep Patterns

June 23rd 2011 5:26 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 5 people already have ]

I have been staying with The Man for the past few days each week. Mother is supposedly having the back trim on the house painted, and each time the painters promise to come paint, I am sent either to doggie daycare or to The Man's house. Honestly, I prefer The Man's house to doggie daycare. I like doggie daycare, but I lurve The Man. I do a hap-hap-happy dance whenever I see him. So, whenever he asks me if I want to go back to Crappy Town with him, I happily agree.

Typically I leave on Sunday, and come back on Wednesday. Last time I came home, Mother didn't notice anything different with me. This time...was different. As loyal readers will remember, The Man likes to wake up (very) early and go for a run. Maxwell always joins him. So, when I am there, I also go with. Normally, I'm a Fast Twitch Muscle kinda pup - I like my exercise to be over within ~30 minutes, 45 minutes if the stroll is leisurely. Maxwell and The Man are more Slow Twitch Muscle guys. They can run and run and run! After a few days each week of waking up early for my morning exercise, I got kinda used to it.

So, Mother was none too happy this AM when I woke her up at 4:00 asking to go for a run. Maxwell understands the different sleep schedules between the two parents. He always seems to remember that at Dad's house: up early for a run. At Mom's house: sleepy time and NO RUNNING (ever)! But, when he saw me asking Mother for a morning run, he got all kinds of excited, thinking Mother had a change of heart. By 4:15 both of us were asking if she was EVER going to get out of bed so we could go, go, go!

She was peeved. More than once she reminded me that there is no running and no waking up before 7:00 in the morning (unless someone has a flight to catch). I was told to remember this tid bit of information for tomorrow morning, as she would not be as patient with her reminders.

She sure is cranky at 4:00 in the morning!

 

Ready, aim, fire!!

May 23rd 2011 3:41 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 15 people already have ]

I had to go to the vet today. Not a big deal, pals, it was just for my yearly exam: titers, bordatella, and heart worm test. While Dr. Barlowe was doing the physical exam, she noticed a little rash on my girlie parts. She needed to get a closer look, so the vet tech rolled me over, then proceeded to hold me in a semi-choke hole (my impression, Mother claims she was gently holding me down, while giving me kisses on my forehead...). Dr. Barlowe then started poking around my no-no area. I didn't like that, so I shot her.

Yeah. In order to voice my displeasure at being violated, I let loose a steam of tinkle. Dr. Barlowe moved out of the way before any of my venom could reach her. Mother pretended to be horrified/embarrassed, but I think deep down (deep, deep, deep down) she was proud of me.

As it turns out, Dr. Barlowe had seen all she needed to see and stopped messin' with me. The tech let me go and then cleaned up the mess.

I have a very mild bacterial rash, Mother has to used medicated wipes on me every night. Overall, it was worth it to see the power my tinkle has on the humans.

 

Left!!!

April 26th 2011 6:44 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 3 people already have ]

Izzard gets what Izzard wants. Case in point: my recent walkie.

When we leave for our daily walkies, there are two options, left or right. If we turn right, I know we are going on a shorter walk - 10-15 minutes max. If we turn left, I know we are taking a longer walk - 40-60 minutes. Obviously I prefer the longer walks. Sadly, Mother has been slacking on her walking duties of late. The weather has been unpredictable (RAIN!) and *someone* is a sissy and doesn't want to get rained on. Pfffft.

Yesterday, Mother leashed me up and we headed out. We reached the end of our walkway, and I knew I had a decision to make. I could sense Mother turning to the right. I revolted! "Izzy needs a long walk! I will NOT turn right! Left is right, left is right, left is right!" I chanted and hollered, hoping, if not to convince her to turn left, then to gain the attention of the neighbors.

It worked. We turned left and went on a long walk. Much to my satisfaction. And...the rain held out the entire time. Miss Princess (aka Mother) had nary a drop of water land on her.

Like I said: Izzard gets what Izzard wants!

 

Yeah, yeah, promises, promises

April 18th 2011 7:08 am
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So, I'm back. Mother has been slacking on her transcription duties, which is painfully obvious to all of you. She now states she has some free time and can help me update all of you on my comings and goings.

Let's see...what is new with me...
1. I had a brief experience at doggie day care. I was, of course, a hit! More often than not, I had other doggies flocking around me, trying to be my bestie. The doggies loved me, the humans loved me. It was good for everyone involved.

2. Mother and The Man left for a vacation last week. We were left at home, to fend for ourselves. Well, not exactly. We had out good pal Cal come over twice a day to give us some lovins and food. We survived, but not without some protest. We decided to voice our displeasure at being left out of the vacation plans by digging up Mother's pansies. She had about 20 pansies planted in the backyard. Only about 5 are remaining. Next time we take hostages.

3. I'm still pretty awesome. Or, that would be Pretty, and Awesome!

 

Long time no woof!!!

March 9th 2011 11:43 am
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Mother has been neglecting my needs, pups. Sure, sure, I still get my 2 square meals a day, have my choice of 5 beds to sleep on (human and dog beds combined), and am getting my walkies and belly rubs... but still, I am being neglected!

Mother is working more hours now, she *says* that's a good thing. Something about keeping a roof over my head and kibble in my belly, but all I know is she isn't home for days on end anymore. Also, she decided to go back to school. So, when she is home, she is not ALWAYS focused on me. Weird, right?

But, the good news is, since Mother feels guilty (yes, apparently she is able to feel emotions...) about not being able to spend as much time with me as an Izzard requires, she decided to take me (and Maxwell) to doggie daycare on Fridays. So far I've been there twice. Both times I come home thoroughly exhausted. I wake up for my dinner, and then sleep until Saturday morning. Mother is happy because she doesn't have to worry about me being bored during the day on Friday, and then she can get a lot of homework done Friday night and Saturday morning, on account of us pups being sleepy.

She says its a win:win situation. All I know is I get to wear my fancy collar, and be lavished with attention by other humans and pups on Fridays.

I'll take it!

 

Wuv, tawoo wuv...

February 17th 2011 6:07 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 6 people already have ]

Mother had an epiphany last night. Quite frankly, I'm embarrassed that it took her so long to figure it out...

The Man came over with Maxwell, as per the usual Wednesday night arrangement. Again, as per usual, The Man left around 8:30, Maxwell decided he wanted to stay here, with us girls.

Mother and Maxwell sat on the couch, I sat staring out the front window. Sad, sad Bella. Mother looked at me and noticed me being blue. I could see the cogs turning...

Later that night, she couldn't find me. Finally she saw me curled up in bed. This is weird, only because when The Man stays, he normally claims the left side of the bed for himself, Mother found me curled up in a tight Izzy ball on The Man's "side" of the bed.

Finally she got it! Mother had always assumed that when Maxwell and The Man go home on Sundays, I am sad because *Maxwell* left. But last night she realized that I am sad because The Man has left! I lurve him so!! When he leaves, I am sad. Sad Bella. Turns out I like the guy a bit, who'dya thunk it :)

 
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