World Domination will be mine...

Useless

November 13th 2011 6:58 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 11 people already have ]

Mother is completely useless. This morning, as we were preparing to depart Crappy Town, I realized just how useless she really is.

Mother and I had packed up our stuff and were headed out to The Coop. We had more stuff than 2 human arms and 4 doggie legs could carry, so The Man offered to help us load up The Coop. Maxwell had to stay inside. So, The Man opened the door, Mother tried to exit the homestead without letting Maxwell out. This is where she was useless #1. As the door was opened, I took off for The Coop. I want it to be known that I had NO INTENTION of running beyond The Coop. I simply ran down the sidewalk towards The Coop at a high rate of speed. The Man, use to Maxwell's wanderlust, shouted, "Come here *Maxwell*" (instead of Izzy...). Well Maxwell, hearing his name, scootched past Mother and ran outside.

Thus, both us pups were in the great outdoors, without our leashes (technically, we were nekkid - thus making us streakers!!). As is usual when both of us pups are loose, we took it upon ourselves to run a bit farther than the sidewalk (yes, strangely enough, neither of us runs off when we are alone, only when both Max and I are together do we get the urge to take off...). The Man, seeing us making a run for the road, shouts out, "No! Stop! Car!". Oy vey.

This is where Mother was useless #2. You see, The Man yells "Car!" when he and Maxwell are out and about on their runs in the morning. Maxwell knows this command, and knows it means he needs to run back towards Dad, away from the middle of the road. The Man was simply telling Maxwell (and me) to get out of the road. Well, Mother hears The Man yell "Car!" and immediately thinks he is yelling that there is an actual car in the road.

Without even turning around (as she was still facing inside, trying to shut the door), Mother lets our a blood curdling scream, thinking we were about to be hit by a car.

Once she realized there was going to be no carnage, she turned around to see all 3 of us staring at her like an idiot. What's with all the yelling, lady? But, good to know in an actual emergency she would be helpful enough to scream.

Awesome, she is.

 
 

Leave A Comment | 11 people already have

Barked by: Wendy G

November 13th 2011 at 7:12 pm

OMD, Izzy!! I hab one ob dose, tu - compwetewy usewess in any kinda 'mergency - unwess it inbolbes shopping! Den we r gud an' pwepareded! BOL :D
Barked by: Biscotte (Dogster Member)

November 13th 2011 at 7:20 pm

Oh my dog ! We don't even want to test our mother, we are almost sure that she would be a wreck if one of us was adventurous enough to put a paw on the street,car or no car involve... And Zaidie, she's almost as bad at shopping. She forget her list 50% of the time... Sigh... She buy yummy treats though. BOL
Barked by: Wendy G

November 13th 2011 at 7:41 pm

No one shopses as gud as my Momma!! Hur r eben bedder on-line :D
Barked by: ♥ Anya ♥ (Dogster Member)

November 13th 2011 at 8:04 pm

I know my Mom would probably scream too if I got away! Their huuuumans, you need to give them a break!BOL

~
Barked by: Misty (Psst on the right) (Dogster Member)

November 13th 2011 at 8:16 pm

That's what Mom yells at us too. CAR. And we freeze like a pupcicle until she says OK.
Barked by: Atley (Dogster Member)

November 13th 2011 at 9:33 pm

Oh Izzy, it'd be terrible if you got hurt by a car! I'd scream too!
Barked by: Angel Petey- In Loving Memory (Dogster Member)

November 14th 2011 at 3:50 am

OMD! my Mom would have screamed too, but would have also ran into the street to stop the car

Glad everyone is ok!
Barked by: Abby - Forever Loved (Dogster Member)

November 14th 2011 at 5:44 am

Glad everyone is OK, and my momma would have screamed too!
Barked by: Demon Flash Bandit (Dogster Member)

November 14th 2011 at 7:42 am

The humans can't help being useless....it is just part of being human!
Barked by: Chester (Dogster Member)

November 14th 2011 at 1:21 pm

Congrats on your DDP today! Did your useless human give you any special treats to celebrate?


Prof. Chester, never useless
Barked by: Scooter (Psst on the left) (Dogster Member)

November 14th 2011 at 6:05 pm

Congrats on your DDP.


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