World Domination will be mine...

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Woofday Celebrations!!

February 7th 2013 5:35 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 6 people already have ]

Oh Pup Pals!! Thank you all so very, very much for all of the Woofday wishes!! I must tell you, I had the most pawtastic 10th Woofday! As Mother pointed out, "You only turn 10 once". So Mother and The Man (and Maxwell too, I suppose) helped to make it a greeeeeat celebration.

Mother got a cake for me! My own cake! I also *totally* scored on new squeaky toys. The Man (who totally gets my carnivore tendencies) bought a HUGE steak for me (and Maxwell too, I suppose) to eat. I also a the proud new owner of a new MARCHING leash and collar. My old leash and collar didn't match. I always tried to pull it off as a BoHo Chic kind of thing, but deep inside....it bothered me.

But the best present was when one of the guys at daycare said he thought I was only 6 years old! Yeah, baby! He was shocked when Mother told him I am TEN YEARS YOUNG! I'm pretty spry. So spry, in fact, that I have taken to launching myself off the back of the couch when I'm trying to get to the garage, or catch the squeaky during an intense game of fetch. I think it's pretty awesome when I do this, but Mother always screams bloody murder, acting as if I'm going to kill myself. She needs to chillax, man. She's totally harshing my buzz.

Anywag - thanks again for all the love on my big day!!!

 

Cowboy Up!

September 11th 2012 6:34 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 5 people already have ]

I'm staying with my boys until tomorrow. I'm trying to toughen Maxwell up and have gone to great lengths to work on improving his toughness - he can be a bit of a drama queen at times. Mother says The Man "enables" this behavior too, whatever that means.

Anywag - this afternoon, The Man took Maxwell and I to the back yard so we could play Frisbee. I don't actually like to catch the Frisbee, I prefer to run interference (is that the right term...I don't know my sports that well). I like to run at Maxwell who is running towards the Frisbee. So, while he is focused on catching the Frisbee, I'm trying to body block him to keep him from catching it. I'm pretty good at it You wouldn't guess it based on my size, but I can push Maxwell around pretty well.

So, after the third toss, I was running at Maxwell and I *may* have *possibly* touched his paw in a rather (allegedly) aggressive manner. Maxwell yipped like a baby. Have you ever seen those soccer/football players who are BARELY touched and then collapse on the ground as if they had been shot? Yeah. That was Maxwell. What. A. Baby. The Man, of course, fell for it and made sure Maxwell was okay - he was fiiiiiine! I ran inside, trying to get away from the sissy boy as fast as possible. Maxwell came limping in a few minutes later. You will be interested to know that his limp mysteriously disappeared when The Man wasn't looking. What a faker!!

Eventually, I tried to make nice and apologize to Maxwell for him being such a baby. While he was napping on the bed, I gave him an Izzy Kissy, letting him know I was (somewhat) sorry. Ya know what... he totally dissed me and walked away! What?!?

So, I tried to be nice and play with Maxwell and what do I get?!? Rejection from my apology.

Boys are silly.

 

Doggie Woofdays: Yeah! Human Birthdays: Boo

September 4th 2012 7:44 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 10 people already have ]

Mother had a Birthday over the weekend. I know what you are thinking, pups...this must mean that I, Izzy, would be given plenty of extra treats and lovins. That is, after all, what happened on Maxwell's woof day. While Maxwell was the one actually turning a year older...I was allowed to partake in all of the celebrations!!

So why, why dear pals, was I given nothing (!!) over the past weekend that would come anywhere near resembling a birthday treat. No carob bone. No schnibble of meat. No extra kibble. No extra belly rubs!!

Nothing! As far as I was concerned, it was just another boring weekend!

Not fair!

I demand my birthday stuff!! I was led to believe that I would get yum yums even if it wasn't *my* actual birthday. I would like to think that being a participant in the household of the birthday person would/should automatically mean I get some STUFF!!

Oh, the humanity.

 

Awww shucks!

February 2nd 2012 5:39 am
[ Leave A Comment | 6 people already have ]

Dearest Pals,

Thanks so very, very much for making my Woofday so super-duper awesome! All of the woof-day wishes and pressies from all of you made me hap-hap-happy!!

Mother was kind enough to take the day off (ahem, it's actually her week to work Saturday, but what do i care, right?), so she took me for a loooong walkie! Then, I went to PetCo and picked out a birthday treat (and a new squeakie toy)!

When Maxwell and The Man showed up I gots me extra kibble in my belly -thanks to The Man, Mother tried to put the kibosh in that. Then, then!! After the peeps finished eating their kibble, I got my mini buffalo burger!! Wows! Mother said I would have liked it more if I had taken the time to chew it. What ev.

After a rousing game of fetch (which I totally won, by the way), it was time for Thundershirt Fashionshow.
Not bad. It *may* have made me more calm, I dunno.

Then, bedtime.

All-in-all, a pretty sweet day for the Izmeister!

I'll post pictures/videos soon!

Thanks again, Pals!!

Izzy Kissys to all!!

 

Did you know...

January 8th 2012 4:23 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 5 people already have ]

that if you stare at Mother incessantly she will eventually type up your dogster dictation? You didn't know that?? Prolly 'cause it's not true. If it were true, my diary would not be as sparse as it had been.

Boo.

Mother is working full-time now (she says "yeah", I say "no") and refuses to give up her gym time after work (something about having excess aggression to get rid of after work...). So, her time with me is limited to late evenings and weekends.

Again, boo.

I'm fine though. Like my good friend Evita said, "don't cry for me dogster pals" or something like that. I have Maxwell to entertain me on Thursday-Sunday, and we are almost Friday regulars at daycare now.

I am quite a hit at daycare (duh), with my continued efforts at revolution. The daycare people keep trying to outsmart me (a baby gate??? Puh-lease!), but I always find away around their sad, sad attempts to thwart my rebellion.

My birthday is fast approaching, so I am obviously expecting the peeps to throw me a pretty substantial shin-dig.
I'll post pictures, if they don't get posted in People magazine first.

Happy New Year, pals!!!

 

No time to talk...

December 15th 2011 5:56 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 1 person already has ]

Pals!! I have had much adventure lately, but my secretary is too "busy" to dictate for me. She is soooo fired.

Anywag, I wanted to drop a quick note/order, asking/telling you all to make sure you are pup pals with Maximus Aurelius!!
Here is his link: http://www.dogster.com/dogs/1213515

Today is his birthday!!!

Doesn't he look so much like my cutie patootie pal Atley?!?

Go! Go! Go!!

 

Does tradition mean nothing to these people?!?

November 15th 2011 7:51 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 7 people already have ]

For the last 6 years (yes, YEARS!), me and my peeps have had the Sunday morning tradition of pancakes after The Man returns from work. While Mother slices the fruit, The Man mixes and pours the pancake batter. I sit and wait patiently by the stove. Maxwell will make a few perfunctory walks through the kitchen, but doesn't know to linger. After the peeps have had their fill, The Man makes our pupcakes. Always. Worth. The. Wait.

This past Sunday, the Earth shifted, tides were backwards, I don't know what really happened. All I know is I did not get my pupcakes!!

The Man *claims* it was because we had no syrup, no fruit and Maxwell is on a diet (shhh, don't tell him). So, the peeps had eggs, potato and avocado. The pups had nothing! NOTHING! Except kibble.

I wanted to let Mother know of my displeasure over this recent decision. So, once she was all comfy on the couch, reading her paper, I jumped onto her lap, and gently lowered her section of the paper with my paw. There we were, eye to eye. I was staring at her. Just. Staring. My paw resting on her crumpled newspaper section. After a few seconds of this displeasure, my point was made. This "no Sunday morning pancakes" thing, will NOT happen again.
I don't want to have this conversation again.

 

The Revolution hear around the world!!

November 14th 2011 7:43 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 9 people already have ]

(well, at least around the building)

But first - a shout out to Miss Priscilla for being THE Diary of the Day. Way to go Girlie!! And also a moment of silence for our pal Roscoe - the Dog of the Week. Roscoe and his human went to The Bridge last week. So, hopefully Roscoe is able to celebrate the dubious honor of being THE DOG OF THE WEEK in style with his human and some other angles.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~

Ahem.
Okay, so now lemme tell you all about the REVOLUTION I started at Daycare last Friday!! Woot-woot!! As some pals may already know, I have developed a wanderlust at precisely 4:00 (central time). That means, whenever 4:00 rolls around at daycare, I assume any and all door openings are for me, alerting me that Mother has come to pick me (and Maxwell) up and take me (and Maxwell) home. So, whenever the door opens after 4:00, I don't wait to see who the humans are coming to collect, I see the opportunity of an open door and run like the wind (or like da wind, if you're a LWD) to the *other* closed door that leads to the lobby. I sit patiently, waiting for that door to open, only to hear my name being called, asking me to return to the original room and continue waiting for Mother to arrive. This happens 2-3 times, or until the staff runs out of patience with me, and puts me (and Max) into our own room. Yeah. That happened ONE TIME! We got put in a time-out on account of the humans being too defenseless against The Izzard!!

Well last Friday, I had all the pups at daycare asking me how I plan and execute my escapes each afternoon. So, always looking to collect more minions, I gathered them around and explained the plan to them. At precisely 4:00 (central time), the door opened and WE TOOK OFF DOWN THE HALLWAY!! Yes indeedy! No longer was it just me and Max running shamelessly down the hallway, but 5 other dogs as well!! Chaos reigned supreme!!Eventually they gathered us all up again and closed the door. But our message had been sent and received loud and clear: "heck no, we won't sit in the daycare room for hour after hour with only toys, water and other dogs to play with! Heck no, we won't sit in the daycare room for hour after hour with only toys, water and other dogs to play with!
Sure enough, the next time the door opened: WOOSH! Thud.
Wait.... I looked around. Those rat ba$tards put up a barricade a mere 3 feet from the door, thus thwarting any plans we had to continue our chaos.

Those humans can be clever when they choose to be. I may have lost the battle, but the war wages on!

 

Useless

November 13th 2011 6:58 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 11 people already have ]

Mother is completely useless. This morning, as we were preparing to depart Crappy Town, I realized just how useless she really is.

Mother and I had packed up our stuff and were headed out to The Coop. We had more stuff than 2 human arms and 4 doggie legs could carry, so The Man offered to help us load up The Coop. Maxwell had to stay inside. So, The Man opened the door, Mother tried to exit the homestead without letting Maxwell out. This is where she was useless #1. As the door was opened, I took off for The Coop. I want it to be known that I had NO INTENTION of running beyond The Coop. I simply ran down the sidewalk towards The Coop at a high rate of speed. The Man, use to Maxwell's wanderlust, shouted, "Come here *Maxwell*" (instead of Izzy...). Well Maxwell, hearing his name, scootched past Mother and ran outside.

Thus, both us pups were in the great outdoors, without our leashes (technically, we were nekkid - thus making us streakers!!). As is usual when both of us pups are loose, we took it upon ourselves to run a bit farther than the sidewalk (yes, strangely enough, neither of us runs off when we are alone, only when both Max and I are together do we get the urge to take off...). The Man, seeing us making a run for the road, shouts out, "No! Stop! Car!". Oy vey.

This is where Mother was useless #2. You see, The Man yells "Car!" when he and Maxwell are out and about on their runs in the morning. Maxwell knows this command, and knows it means he needs to run back towards Dad, away from the middle of the road. The Man was simply telling Maxwell (and me) to get out of the road. Well, Mother hears The Man yell "Car!" and immediately thinks he is yelling that there is an actual car in the road.

Without even turning around (as she was still facing inside, trying to shut the door), Mother lets our a blood curdling scream, thinking we were about to be hit by a car.

Once she realized there was going to be no carnage, she turned around to see all 3 of us staring at her like an idiot. What's with all the yelling, lady? But, good to know in an actual emergency she would be helpful enough to scream.

Awesome, she is.

 

Personal Doggie Freedoms

October 5th 2011 5:29 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 7 people already have ]

Pups! My freedoms have been infringed upon! Yes! My freedoms to do what I want, when I want, and bark at who I want, when I want AND, go where I want, when I want were all taken from me today!!

I. Am. Mad.

It started this morning, well, last night, actually. You see, each morning one of our neighbors walks his dogs in the alley behind our house. So, each morning (at 7:00am) I run into the back yard and "bark like a banchee" at the neighbor and his dogs. Blah, blah, blah. Apparently Mother doesn't like me stirring up so much trouble so early in the morning (I don't think she likes me stirring up trouble at all, but especially not early in the morning). So, last night Mother put the slat in the doggie door, thus preventing my morning bi*ch session with the neighborhood dogs.

Not cool.

So, I was already pretty peeved about my freedom of speech being taken from me when I showed up at daycare. The day went along fine (although I *do* think it is some sort of violation of some right to be told when I will be allowed to pee...I'm looking into it). By 4:00, I was ready to go. So, when the door to the big room (where Maxwell and I were) opened, I convinced Maxwell to make a run for it with me, despite the fact that it was not time for us to go home.

"Freedom!!!!!!" I shouted, as I ran down the hallway, leash-less. Inevitably I would be caught and put back into the big room with the other dogs. I did this three (3!) times, before the daycare peeps decided to put me and Maxwell into one of the smaller, empty rooms. We were told we would have to wait in the smaller room, without any other dogs until Mother showed up to get us. The chica locking me up in the small room was saying stuff like "to keep you safe", and "for your own good" and mumbo jumbo like that. Well forget it! I knew what was happening!! The daycare higher ups were scared of me and my plans for domination, and were told to quiet my rebellion!

Eventually Mother showed up to rescue me. She was told of me and Maxwell's freedom runs, and showed where we were being kept (prisoner). The room was right next to the lobby, with a window to peek through. Mother laughed out loud when she saw us. Maxwell was lying with his head cocked to the side, staring at the door (oblivious, of course, to the infringements on his freedom), but I was sitting in the middle of the room with an obvious scowl on my face. If I could have crossed my arms, I would have. I saw Mother, ran to the window and mouthed, "Get. Me Out. Of Here..."

So now I am at home, thinking about my revenge.

 
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