January 27th 2010 5:03 am
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It was one year ago yesterday that I had to leave Momma. I don't think she realized the date, but I know I was on her mind without her knowing why. She still feels so bad about how sick I got, and how long she fought to try to help me get better for a little while longer. She feels guilty that I never had a home with kids because I loved them so, but I had that, and they neglected me and dumped me, she regrets that I was never somebody''s favorite, but who but somone who's known 200 Schnauzers would have realized how unique and cool I was?
It's ok, Mom. Syd and Annie and I watch over you and Rocke and Raoudi.
When Princess plays with the toys only I liked, when she sings with the sirens like I did, when you look at her and think her hair is the same pale silver as mine that you loved - it's me telling you I''m with you.
I loved you, and I wanted to get better. I loved nothing better than to make you laugh. You know I delighted in every ear rub, was so proud to do my tricks for you, celebrated every toy I ever got. Nothing made me happier than for you to call me a good boy, or to hear you say my sI know you helter fee was the best $29 you ever spent. I loved our life together, and know you loved me. If love were enough to make me well, I'd have lived forever.
November 26th 2009 7:15 am
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I would have been 14 this month. We never knew just what day, so we always celebrated on Thanksgiving. Momma would always find time to make banana biscotti no matter how busy she was cooking other things. We'd watch the parade while Momma cooked or cleaned, then she'd hurry home from where ever she was to watch the dog show with us.
This year there is no biscotti, no cooking going on at all - Mom and Poppa are going out. The TV isn't working, and it's kinda just another day.
I had to let Momma know it was ok - that I'm still here, and love goes on. I whispered in our new foster sister's ear, and got her to get out my favorite toys - the grunting hedgehog nobody plays with, Rocke's fox that nobody's challenged him for in all these months, the chipmonks from the hide-a-squirrel, but Momma didn't get it.
So, Princess and Rocke and Raoudi went out, and I knew just what to do. When a siren sounded out on the main road, I told her to sing with it, and she did, just like I always did. My two little brothers joined in, though they bark rather than howl. It was just like old times - howling and barking fit to wake the dead. Momma ran to see what was the matter, then laughed.
She asked Princess if she'd like some banana biscotti, and said she'd see if she cold find an open store after she and Poppa go eat.
Thanks, Princess!
January 26th 2009 6:50 pm
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I wasn't getting much better and was barely eating. The vet didn't feel she could do any more for me. Mom was so sad when she brought me a burger and I turned it down, and knew it was time.
I was very quiet with my chin propped on Mom's arm - I always loved to prop my chin, especially on Mom. They gave me one shot, and Mom sang to me and told me I was the best thing $29 ever could have bought, and that I'd brought her 9 years of laughter since that day at the shelter when I was ony 4.
They gave me another shot, and suddenly, here I was with Syd and Ralph and my beautiful girlfriend Miracle, watching over Mom. I wish I could make her laugh now - she sure needs it.
Rocke, keep her warm at night, and Raoudi, please be silly and get her to smile. Annie, I know you're even older than me, but protect our yard from cats and our house from mice and crickets as long as you can. To you foster boys, I hope you find a home where they love you like Mom loved me.
Mom, I'm not as far away as you think. Every time you feel an elbow in your ribs at night, every time you scratch sombody's ears and they thump their foot, every time somone makes you laugh even if you don't feel like it, know that I'm here.
Love,
Bogart
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