Tagged x2

My friends Alex and Arwen tagged me so I have to reveal 7 more deep dark secrets. Hmmm....

1. I literally inhale my food and make some kind of weird deep gasping/whistling sound while I do it.
2. I am always happy, except for those times when I am thwarted in my desires, which is almost all the time. Can I help it if I desire to do bad things?
3. I am extremely alert, except for when I am sleeping. Which is often.
4. I love carrots.
5. Whenever I get a treat or a chewie I run straight to my private suite (crate) so I can enjoy in solitude.
6. I am not afraid to step on the little people (everyone who is not ME).
7. This is my world and you just live in it.

Now it's my turn to tag! I tag Puss, Rock and (heart) Ember (heart). Get to writin', dawgs!

My deepest secrets

I have been tagged by Buttons, a.k.a. Butt Dog.

The Rules: Start out by listing 7 pawsome facts about yourself, then choose some dogs to tag and list their names. pmail them to let them know they've been tagged or send them a fun rosette announcing they're tagged. Ask these dogs to check your diary entry.

So, tag to: Wellington, Dagul and Sasha!

1. I have a secret crush on somefur.
2. When I sit down my tail is in the front, not the back, but it's still waggin'! It looks a little weird...
3. I can eat a 30 lb. bag of dog food in one sitting. If only someone would let me.
4. Squirrelz are not our friends.
5. I like to fence fight with the Jack Russell next door.
6. Crows are not our friends.
7. Sometimes I bark for no reason at all. Just like to hear my own voice.

The Things I Could and Will Tell You!

Hah! I've been tagged by TWO of my friends. And they are sisters! So here's to Tipper and Maizy: Seven things you don't know about ME! And just to make it interesting, I'm tagging Jasmine, Snowden and Deanna Troi. Let's hear it for the Girls!

The Rules: Start out by listing 7 pawsome facts about yourself, then choose some dogs to tag and list their names.

Pmail them to let them know they've been tagged or send them a fun rosette announcing they're tagged. Ask these dogs to check your diary entry.

l. I love to lick Skippy’s (my fursister) ears. I will do it for as long as she will let me. Why? See number 2 below.
2. During one of my moments of insanity I bit off the end of Skippy’s ear. Maybe that is why I lick them, to try to make it up to her. Or not.
3. I have won numerous karaoke tournaments. And why not! Who doesn’t enjoy my rendition of “Old Man River”?
4. I have a Ph.D. in Escapology from Cal Tech. Scientists from around the world have studied my technique and I have been the subject of many articles published in international scientific journals. My own studies have been published in “Fancy Dog” magazine and I am on retainer as a consultant to Homeland Security.
5. My pink collar says “B**ch” on it. Am I the only one who doesn’t think that’s funny?
6. I eat paper. Any paper will do. Used Kleenex is my paper of choice.
7. I insist on sleeping under the covers. It is my birthright. I do not negotiate. And when I am under the covers you will not touch me. If you touch me I will lick your feet to death. I am not kidding.

Tag! You're it!

My Campaign

As you may remember from last time, I was working on plans to do something breathtaking with my life. Going into politics was my original plan because I felt that was the way I could best use my talents. I'm a people dog, after all. Just look at my pictures! I mean, can't you just SEE me in front of a crowd, all chanting my name and just barely able to contain themselves? ME TOO!

But the harsh reality has set in. Do I really want to work 26 hours a day, visit 50 states in 25 days or shake paws with that many adoring supporters? Heck, I SLEEP 20 hours a day! When is there time for sleep in that sort of schedule? Not to mention breaks to do my business. Besides, I don't have the wardrobe and lack patience for shopping.

Bummer.

So. It's back to the drawing board. I'll have to think of something else breathtaking to do with my life. But right now all this deciding and thinking and stuff has simply worn me out. I need a nap.

Something Breathtaking With My Life

Well, I've decided that there's no more just sitting around feeling sorry for myself. As you know, I was Dog 'o The Month at Connect The Dots and it's been quite a letdown after all the attention. It's kinda like being a child actor who's gotten too big to be cute.

Well, I'm not a child but I'm a pretty good actor so I've decided to go into politics! That's right, Spotzaroonie is going to bring about World Peace! I'm also going to fix the economy, develop the perfect dog food, ban all clothing for dogs and find a cure! And not just FIND a cure, but BE the cure! (No, not The Cure, just the cure.) Yes, I'll be the cure for all that ails the world!

You have a problem? I'll solve it!

You may well ask how I will keep my campaign promises. I ask myself the same question. I'm still working on a plan. But I know it will be GREAT!

Stay tuned.

The Reign of Terror is Over!

Well, my reign as September 2008 Dog 'O The Month at ConnectTheDots is over! The partially chewed baton has been passed to a worthy successor (Henry!) and I've returned to private life, no longer in the spotlight. Sigh.

It's hard being "just a dog" again. The pawparazzi have deserted me, no longer dogging my every step. The pawtograph seekers no longer wait outside my door. And my own family members have stopped treating me with the heightened respect that I once commanded.

I just feel like there's more out there for me, more than just a solitary barkarita or the occasional Japanese beetle.

I fear my life's meaning may become a desperate search for the perfect Bee Jerky , although my friend Birdy strongly recommends it and I trust her judgment. She advocates bee jerky as a cure all and it works well for her. But, I need to do something more with my life! Something great, something grand, something breathtaking!

It truly IS a dog's life. Sigh.