July 30th 2008 11:54 am
Sweet baby Monkey Boy,
I miss you so much. I still cry often, and just walking around the back yard hurts. We have been trying, beloved. But how can you feel right when part of your soul is missing?
I said your name today. I was talking to Mickey & Bernadette, but your name came out. I smiled through the tears, and prayed to God you are o.k. and know how much I love you.
Yes, life is going on, and I am trying to make new memories with your brother and sister. But my sweet boy, it is still so quiet. No one howls, barks are rare, and kisses are fewer. I guess I didn't realize what a kisser you were. I miss kissing your pink nose and looking into your eyes, so filled with life and spirit.
We visited your graves last night. To think of your broken body just beneath the grass made me burst into tears. You were so much of my life and my reason to get up in the morning, and now.... I know, in time, it will hurt less. I don't want to rush time, because that is all I have with Mickey & Bernadette, but at the same time, I want these tears to dry up and smiles replace them
My boy, you taught me so much. And I will never, ever forget you.
My precious son.... I love you.
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