4th anniversary....

It has now been 4 years since we held your body and smelled your sweet breath. Since we looked into those brown eyes and saw so much intelligence it challenged our own.
To say “we miss you” doesn’t even begin to explain how we feel. But as time goes by, we know you would have been an old dog today. It would have been your time, soon. But we were cheated of your last years. Though the years we did have were so very full of love. Our connection was deep for the canine/human bond.
Sweet Sammers, many have joined you since you left. Many more will be soon. Both human and dogs & cats.
But we only miss you so much because we loved you so very perfectly. You were the most patient, obedient of dogs. You just wanted us happy. And you succeeded, our son. You did.
We love you with all our hearts. Watch over your family as you have been. We know when you are near. Stay as close as you can, because we need your strength.
Your amazing ability to make us smile even when we didn’t want to is greatly missed in this home.
Your little nubby wiggles and howls…
All that was Sammy Jake.
Our arms will forever ache to hold you again.
We love you with all our hearts.
Now and Forever,
Mommy & Daddy,
Mickey, Sara, Baby Cat, Wally & Jenny
April 4, 2012

Mom messed up, and yes it was me...

So, Mom and I spent over 45 minutes sending out anonymous rosettes to our friends, but Mom messed up. It was supposed to look like this:
BIG MONKEY KISSES TO YOU!
Monkey kisses
Please pay forward with smooches



Of course, the photos was supposed to be embedded in the rosette, but Mom put the wrong code in the photo! So now all you are gonna see is a thing that says the photo has been removed!
And I'm so sad, cause I love kissin' my friends.

If you are reading this, then you probably will know. If not, then Mom needs to bury her head in the sand for a while longer.

*snicker*

Love you all!
Sammers the Monkey Boy!

Airmail to Sammy..

My dearest Monkey Boy,
Three years. Three long years since we were able to kiss your sweet pink nose and hold you in our arms. Three years since we had to let you go from the pain, and allow you rest. You had had enough.
Again, we send you this letter airmail with tears and broken hearts. You were so special, baby. We really thought, when you came into our lives, it would be for so very much longer.
What fools we were.
We did learn never to take anything for granted.
Thank you for watching over us, and your friends.
Thank you for helping Mickey in this struggle, and reminding us of what you went through with grace and dignity.
We need you to continue to watch over him, dear one. Be next to him for his surgery. Let us know he won’t be alone. Guide the very capable hands of all who help him.

There are days we can’t wait until we meet again. Then there are days we feel blessed to have ever known you at all.
Still, our arms ache to hold you again.
We love you with all our hearts.
Forever

Thanks for helping this monkey boy!

So, someone, and I'm pretty sure I know who it was... MUFFIN, my almost twin!! Did y'all know her birthday was just a couple of days ago?

Muffin & her Mom sent MY Mom an adorable bouquet with a huge ol' monkey on it! The card made her do the ugly cry 'cause it was written from ME! Ain't I a stinker!

It said "You are always and forever in my heart Mom. I watch over you every day and I'm sending angel kisses. With much love, your Monkey Boy"

Mom is still crying, just typing this! BOL! Thank you from the bottom of the Monkey Heart. You are the most specialest of friends.

It is impossible to do the things you help me do, and you help Mom remember what wonderful people there are in this world.

Tomorrow and your baby brother

My beloved Sammy,

Tomorrow is the day we celebrate the happiest of days! The day you were born! Oh, what a lucky day for the world!

You were given to us by chance, and we don't know why we were chosen but we are grateful!

Thank you for always looking our for us while you were here on Earth, and please continue while you are at the bridge. You know your baby brother, Mickey, needs you right now. He still isn't well, vomiting and just not feeling well. And now he will have to have surgery to take out his bladder stones.

Sammy, you have to promise me, when he has the surgery you'll be there for him. Kay? You and Bernie have to be right next to him so he isn't alone, 'cause Mommy won't be able to be with him.

We are going to celebrate your birthday in true MONKEY form! Gonna go for a ride in the car and bark at people until they look at us and tell us how wonderful we are. How about that? And maybe go bark at a bunch of cows, too! Just for YOU!

We love you, Sammers. We remain strong in honor of your spirit.

Why am I feeling I need to protect you?

Sweet angel boy,

I had a dream about you last night.
*You had just had your amputation and were still at the vet. It was night and you needed to pee. I knew you did. They told me to leave you and you would just pee on yourself. I knew you wouldn't do that, or if you did, you would be so upset you might hurt yourself getting away from it.
So I picked you up and carried you outside. Immediately as we walked through the threshold of the door, I felt the warmth down my leg and started to giggle. Mommy always knew best.* I woke up after that.

Today I feel an overwhelming need and yearning to protect you. I have been trying to bury it, but it wells up when I don't expect it to. In the shower I found myself in a ball sobbing. I so desperately want to be able to hold you again and protect you. Though I don't know if I did that well when you were alive. I keep replaying all of the times we toodled around the yard with your belly strap, and I cringe just to know what it all did to your body. But what was the option?

You kept your chin up and you seemed so happy. You made me so happy. Our lives were so up-side-down for those 18 months. We didn't use our bed, as we slept by your side in case you needed us. Dinner out was never going to happen unless it was take out and you came with us to get it. A joy for you!

And now, we have this "freedom". But deep down, I don't want it. I want my boy. I want the incarceration of love. I want to know that you needed me as much as I needed you.

Why now, my boy? Why today? Are you telling me something? Do you need me? I'm here, sweet love. Always.

My tiny pal, Willie

Dearest friends,
If you don't know Willie, you are missing the meaning of Dogster. Willie is a loving little fellow that sends love and light to others at every chance. When I left to the bridge, he and his Mom sent me balloons! He is always making sure that pups know how special they are.
Now he needs your love.

Willie is a tiny Yorkshire Terrier. He is 14. He is the light of his Mommy's eye and an honorary member of the Roo Crew. He needs our prayers. While I don't know exactly what is wrong with Willie, a mutual friend, Rio, posted in his diary that Willie needs our prayers.

So, this is one angel that is asking you all to put your paws together for one special little man. Smother that feller with all the love in your heart. I'll bet that at one time or another you got a message from him that was just filled with love.

Forever grateful for your help,
Sammers

Second Year without you...

This will be airmailed to Sammy on Sunday morning... via balloon mail.


April 1, 1997 to April 4, 2008
Our loving son, Samuel Jacob,

My dearest little Monkey Boy,
Will you ever know how much you mean to us? How very deeply you touched our souls? Not just your family, but so many humans here on Earth. You taught us things we needed to know. You taught us to smile through the pain. To love with abandon and to enjoy today, for tomorrow is not a promise.

But still, I see your face in photos and my heart aches. Why? So many questions, but the one I need answered is “WHY?” Why did you have to hurt so much, why did you have to suffer all those months? Why?
But I do know that had that not happened, I would have missed so much with you. Our deep connection. I was as dependent on you as you were on me.
Daddy was so proud of you. He always will be. He honors you every day by loving us all with everything he is.
My boy, you were what I needed. But still, 2 years later, I’m not able to let go; the pain still raw.
Please, be with Shelby. She’s alone up there, and needs you.
Mickey will never be the same since you and Bernie went on without him. You can see it in his eyes, still.
What a huge hole you left, my boy. One that will never be filled.
We love you with all our hearts.
Now and Forever,
Mommy & Daddy,
Mickey, Sara, Baby Cat, Wally & Jenny
April 4, 2010

Yorkie Birthday Season! Muffin & Willie

Well, I know I love yorkies, but to be surrounded by such cute ones is quite an honor!

My very dear friend, Muffin, had her birthday on the 29th of March. She has often called me her "almost twin"! If only we were! Then we'd be real family. But heart family is close enough for me!
Now I can't say how old Muffin is now, because its not polite to discuss a lady's age. But let's say she's one perky teenager!

Well, then my buddy, Willie has his birthday on the 4th of April!! Willie's gonna be 14 this year! Wow! Doesn't he look fabulous!?

If you, the reader would do me a favor, I'd like to be sure they know how loved they are. Could you scurry over to their pages and leave them some love? Boy, do they both share it like it was air! But sometimes they need to feel it right back.

I just love Yorkies so very much, I sent Mom one to foster. It was a secret because we weren't sure if Dad would let her keep him. Well, he didn't, unfortunately, but he did to got a fabulous rescue! Mom is a "little" miffed with him. This little feller was perfect. She named him Andy. He was about 12 weeks old. We have photos, but Mom is still to upset to post them.

Thanks for still reading my diary. And if you feel a gentle breeze on your cheek, it's just me giving you a kiss.

A dream?

Sweet Sammers,
This morning I woke up and thought it was real. I was so sure of it.

I must have been dreaming. You were snuggled down in the blankets with me, and I felt you. I was curled behind you, with my arms around you. I felt you there.

Thank you for the dream, baby. Thank you for the gift.

Someone once told me that death is like falling asleep. If that is true, and I get to dream like I did this morning, then I am ready.

If I get to be with you and your furblings again, in any way, I'm o.k.

I love you, Sammers. You and I will be together again. Somehow.