August 20th 2008 11:24 am
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My sweet son,
I had such a horrible day yesterday, and it seems to be overflowing to today.
I was singing a song for you, and was bawling so hard, I looked like an ugly teaky idol.
I put the song on your page, and just bawl and bawl... Because we did have joy, we had fun we had seasons in the sun...
I miss seeing you laying in the grass under your big tree, smelling the cool evening air. You must be close, because it hurts so bad right now. Like a knife in my heart, just twisting.
Promise me you'll be there when I go, Son. Wait for me.
August 19th 2008 9:04 am
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Last night, I was trying to sleep. You were heavy on my heart.
I was trying to remember all the wonderful times we had together, exploring Grandpa's ranch, the beach, the mountains, and all the times we took you to the High School.
As long as I thought of you walking, I was fine, but as soon as I thought of you running, my entire body got tense and my stomach felt like it was in knots.
Baby boy, I still can't think of you running. I want to run and grab you in my arms and protect you... Even now, just typing this, I'm in tears. I hope, one day, I will be able to remember your joy of running free... but for now, please, just come to my memories with your wings. I'm still not ready.
I love you, son... I miss you so much it hurts. My arms ache to hold you, and protect you.
Stay near, baby. Keep reminding me of your joyful spirit, kay?
Love,
Mommy
August 14th 2008 10:28 am
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Sweet angel boy,
Your marker has been made, and they are shipping it today. Finally, when I visit your grave, I'll see your photo and smile through tears.
So many people donated to make sure we had the funeral and marker we wanted, and helped pay for some of your medical bills. We can never thank them enough, but I pray we can grace them with the love they sent us.
This is one of the markers that will be on your grave
My monkey boy... I miss you so. I wish I could kiss your sweet face again. But that would never be enough for me, now would it?
Forever, my son....
Mommy
July 30th 2008 11:54 am
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Sweet baby Monkey Boy,
I miss you so much. I still cry often, and just walking around the back yard hurts. We have been trying, beloved. But how can you feel right when part of your soul is missing?
I said your name today. I was talking to Mickey & Bernadette, but your name came out. I smiled through the tears, and prayed to God you are o.k. and know how much I love you.
Yes, life is going on, and I am trying to make new memories with your brother and sister. But my sweet boy, it is still so quiet. No one howls, barks are rare, and kisses are fewer. I guess I didn't realize what a kisser you were. I miss kissing your pink nose and looking into your eyes, so filled with life and spirit.
We visited your graves last night. To think of your broken body just beneath the grass made me burst into tears. You were so much of my life and my reason to get up in the morning, and now.... I know, in time, it will hurt less. I don't want to rush time, because that is all I have with Mickey & Bernadette, but at the same time, I want these tears to dry up and smiles replace them
My boy, you taught me so much. And I will never, ever forget you.
My precious son.... I love you.
June 16th 2008 8:35 am
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I learned this morning that my good friend, Lalla, a tripawd friend, has passed away. It was June 2, and I didn't even know and I feel horrible for not being there for her Mommy, Sasha, when it happened. Lalla was a good friend to me, and was right there when I lost my leg, telling Mom I was gonna be o.k. And even though she lived a gazillion miles away, we felt her in our heart.
She wrote a comic strip in tribute to me and I am so touched.
Tri-sticks
Mommy used to tease me because after I lost my leg, my butt atrophied and I looked like I only had half a butt, so that is where the joke came in.
I was called half-fast for some time, too!
I pray Sasha feels that Lalla and I are together, now running like the wind you feel on your skin.
Love,
Sammy
June 9th 2008 11:24 am
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Sweet Angel,
I need some help, and I am asking you to send me some kind of sign.
Daddy is considering selling your truck. We don't use it any more, because of the price of gas, and with it only getting 9 miles to the gallon, we can't afford it... but, sweet boy, it is YOUR truck! It still has your snot in the air vents where you used to sniff as we drove, and all your nose prints are still on the windows. I can't bring myself to clean them off.
Am I being silly to want to keep this piece of machinery? Is it time for me to let this go, as it isn't you, but the memory of you I treasure? Won't the memory be with me anyway?
We went to the ranch again, baby. Mickey was so good, and even tried to swim. Bernadette was as much a fish as you and Grizzly were. You would have been proud of her.
Mickey is still looking for you in the car. He is doing better, but misses you so much. We heard a bark that sounded like you, and his little ears pricked up and tail whipped over his back, so happy! But we had to get him into the car so he didn't run away, trying to find his beloved.
I love you, baby boy. I always will....
Mommy
May 28th 2008 2:00 pm
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My dear friends,
I read my candles every few days, trying to be sure not to miss any... Some of the messages make my Mommy cry with love, others make her giggle (like the roast beef from Muffin).
But my time is done. While I love that you all keep my candles lit, you don't have to. I am sure other dogs need your love, and your prayers kept me going for much longer than anyone expected. Your love kept me going.
I can never thank you all enough for your support of my Mommy. She misses me more every day. But your love and words have given her strength. The gifts and messages are treasured.
But please, don't feel you must light a candle for me. I am at peace. I don't hurt, and your prayers are being reflected back to you. All that love you are sending me is bouncing right back at you. The site was never intended to be my candle site... it was supposed to be for all dogsters. Maybe now, it can be.
I will continue to read the candles, but, please, know you don't have to light them or me. There are a few pups that religiously light for me. Otto & his angel kitty Miki, who started the thread, Muffin, River, Flicka/Lucas/Pam, Baxter and MacKenzie, Sarge & Rocky, Godiva, Sawyer, & Haze (the Plott'n Pibble Pitties), Darla Mae, The Tater Tots, and Sam. Thank you all.... and everyone else that stopped by to "flick their bic" and light a candle for me.
I love you all. I am here, with you, where you don't see me or hear me. But you know I'm there. I always will be.
Love,
Your Sammers
May 20th 2008 10:45 am
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Mommy hasn't been on much lately. She misses me so much, and is trying to spend quality time with Mickey & Bernadette. Now that they can go, they are.
She looks back on my photos and is seeing smiling faces and happiness, but still, feels empty.
Otto, you keep lighting those candles and reminding Mom of what is important. Muffin, you keep Mom's heart in the sunshine... thank you.
Sassy writes to Mom and makes sure she is still o.k.
I want to thank each and every one of you for sending Mom love, and my brother and sister, too. You are all wonderful.
May 8th 2008 11:49 am
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Sweet Sammy,
We got down your chariot last night, and seeing it again tore our hearts out once more.
I spent all morning cleaning it, and getting it ready to return to Doggon' Wheels. I got all your hair off the saddle, and the belly strap, polished up the tires and packed it all up.
I put a note on the card I put in the box. It said:
To whom it may concern,
This cart is being donated to you, with love. It is in the spirit of my boy, Samuel Jacob.
Sammy was a special boy. He trained us well, and was more devoted than any dog I have ever known.
Please, read Sammy’s page on Dogster… and with this cart come a piece of his spirit. One too big for his body… You will see our Sammy using his cart, and getting treats!
Please send us a picture of your baby using the cart: A sign of the circle of life.
Love,
Jacqueline & David
Sammy’s Website:
http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322527
I put it on a card with your photo on it, in your cart. Sweet baby, it was all I could do to take it to the place that has those BIG BROWN TRUCKS you hated so much. But it will be donated to a pup that needs it, and cannot afford it. We have been so blessed to have so many friends that helped us get you that cart. I thought it best to pass that love on.
Baby boy, I love you. I miss you. Forever,
Mommy
Post Script:
I got your Momma's Day card you asked Willie to send, and the Forget Me Nots he included. It means the world to me, and Willie is such a wonderful little fellow... between him and Muffin, something tells me Yorkies are some great little pups!
I love you, my son.
May 5th 2008 9:28 am
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Samuel Jacob Gonzalves
“Sammy”
April 1, 1997 to April 4, 2008
Each day, we thank God you came into our lives. What a clown you were. You made us laugh, you healed our hearts, and you loved us completely. You were such a character, climbing all over us; we had to call you our “Monkey Boy”.
You were completely devoted to us. We know you would have walked through fire for Daddy, and you lived through hell for us. When we were told you wouldn’t survive on three legs for long, our hearts were crushed, but we never gave up on you.
You didn’t either.
You were loved by people all over the world. Your story touched people, and our love inspired them. Your strength and spirit showed us how much you loved life. Your rides in the truck and car, your “walks”, your food, and your family. You loved us all.
You loved people to pay attention to you. You either were so adorable, with your sunglasses on in the car, waiting for someone to look at you and see how adorable you were. Or you would bark and bark until they stopped and said how wonderful you were.
The house is so silent now. No barking, no howling, just a bitter quiet. We know you are no longer in pain, but the pain in our hearts will never end. Mickey is beside himself with loneliness, missing his knight-in-shiny fur. You were his everything. You were exactly what he needed. What we needed, too.
You are once again whole. You have your leg again, and you can run!
Run with Kody & Grizzly; bark at Astro with Grizzly. Snuggle with them all.
We will see you again, beloved son.
Your job is done here.
That’ll do, Sammy. That’ll do.
Forever in our hearts,
David (Daddy), Jacqueline (Mommy)
Mickey (fur-brother), Bernadette (fur-sister)
Sara, Wally & Baby (your cats)
May 2nd 2008 8:50 am
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Another Friday comes, and reminds me it how now been a month since I last kissed you. How can that be?
Your friend, Remo the Red (Now turning white), is very sick, sweet Sammy. Remember when we first came on Dogster, and we went for that walk? We saw the star his furbling, Honey Bunny, shined down on us? We cried and missed her. Well, now her brother needs your help. He is very, very sick. We know it is only a matter of time before he joins you, my son, but please, my only prayer is he has no pain. Let his pawrents know they are doing the right thing, no matter what. They love him like I love you. Their hearts and spirits are open and pure.
Please, my son, watch over your Daddy as he journeys home. Fly under his airplane and support those wings, so he comes home to us again.
Oh, dear Sammy. It is still so quiet here. There are no more howls. Only once in a while do Mickey & Bernie bark.
I dreamed of you the other night. You were doing so well. You only had 3 legs, but they were healthy and strong. You moved around like a young boy, filled with life. I woke in tears, wishing I could stay asleep and stay with you. Promise me you will be there for me when it is my time.
Dear, sweet, funny Sammy. You are my heart. You took my heart with you when you left. There will never, EVER be another Sammy.
I love you!
Mommy
April 25th 2008 4:22 pm
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Dear, sweet Sammy,
Can it really be 3 weeks since I kissed your head? Since I smelled your breath and felt your warm kisses on my face?
I don't think of your last day, my brave boy. I think of your life before your body began to abandon you. I think of the days you would run around, barking and playing. I think of your eternal smile and your will to live. How tender you were with Mickey, as if you knew he needed your strength.
I sit in your car and remember you with your sun glasses on. I smile at the memory of you at a stop light, looking into the car next to us until they looked at you and smiled. Then you were o.k. We could drive on...
I had no idea how many lives you touched. But the love I feel when I am here, on Dogster, is helping me keep going. When I have a bad day, I remember your bad days, and how I would sing to you to keep you happy. That Prius commercial, with the man saying, "Ba, buh, buh Ba buh, buh buh..." I sang it to you over and over, and your little nubby would wiggle and you would give me a kiss. Was it to kindly tell me to shut up? Or was it because you knew how much I love you? I hear that commercial now, and I burst into tears.
Willie and his Mommy did a special tribute to you.... so very sweet. It touched my heart beyond words.
We had special times, you and I. A bond that will never, ever break. I miss you, my heart. I know, one day, I'll have you back in my arms again.
I love you, son. I always will.
April 23rd 2008 9:42 pm
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I was TAGGED by my amazing friend, Otto!
Seems like a new game of tag is going around! This one’s a little bit different so pay attention. BOL Don't forget to send a pawmail or a rosette to let your fur fiends know you've Tagged them and that they can find the rules in your Diary.
Name 4 jobs that you have:
1. I ate the bottom of the romaine lettuce heads for Mom.
2. I protected my family, and never EVER let anyone follow any of them by putting myself between the stranger, no matter how much pain I was in.
3. I barked my fool head off until the left.
4. I made sure they knew what time it was. Be it tea time, Breakfast, Dinner or time for DADDY to come home!
Name 4 places you have lived at (or stayed at):
1. With a rancher, we think. The abandoned me, so I don't give them a second thought.
2. At Uncle Paul's house while I was de-flea'd and dewormed before I came home.
3. With my Mommy and Daddy in Atwater, CA
4. In the hospital at UC Davis in California... tooo many times!
Name 4 places that you have been:
1. Marina Dunes, CA
2. Pismo Beach, CA
3. Dodge Ridge Ski area!, CA
4. UC Davis... cwap! AGAIN!!!
Name 4 places you'd rather be:
1. Home, in my Mommy's arms, kissing her tears away, and eating her tissue, so she can't cry any more.
2. In my Daddy's truck, sitting next to him, navigating for him.
3. At the beach. ANY Beach!
4. Chasing sompin's!!
Thank you Otto, for remembering me, and tagging me. I will love you, furever!
April 22nd 2008 8:15 am
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Yesterday, Mom & Dad made the decision to promise Mickey & Bernadette to make new memories for them, and still honor my memory.
So they went to my favorite place, Monterey! It was very windy there, on account of my wings. I was right there with them, all day! You can read the Roo Crew diary to get a play by play.
When they got home, it was late. Then, Mom got Baby Cat in for the night, and found a box on the front porch. It was from Sassy's Mommy, Sally. She opened the box, and it was full of Wally's favorite toy! Packing Popcorns! BOL!
While Wally was in the box, she found another box inside, and a couple of envelopes! In one envelope as a heart-shaped magnet with my photo it in! Mommy immediately kissed it and put it on the fridge. She has kissed it over and over since. It was made by Maria & Sara NPC.
Then, Ms. Sassy sent Mom a photo of every pup that sent love to me, through her. There were some photos that Tinkerbell made of me with my brothers, Kody & Griz, up in heaven. They were beyond beautiful. Mom wishes she could put them on my webpage...
See, Sassy put a diary entry asking for help giving me this gift. In the inner box is a photo/memorial album, for Mom to put all these photos in. And there was one more envelope. She opened it, and inside was a sympathy card. Now, this card was signed by Sassy's Mom, with a sentiment in it so kind and tender, Mom had to have Daddy read it for her. And, inside the card was a gift beyond imagination. How? Why? Is this real?
Words just seem so minimal to say "thank you" to those who have given so much to our family when all we ever wanted was prayers. Prayers which were given so freely and so often.
I love you all... now and forever.
Sammy
I just read a diary entry from my friend, MIA. She is a good friend, and her entry touched my heart. Please, if you can, send her love...
April 14th 2008 8:24 am
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Sweet Sammy,
Friday was beyond difficult. I didn't expect it. I cried, non-stop, all day. I kissed your photos, and went to your grave, and just had a total break down. It was as if it really, really sunk in. Maybe my mind was trying to be fooled, thinking you were in the hospital, and while I was very sad, I think, on some level, I expected you to come home. So did Mickey.
On Friday... My world crumbled under me, all over again. I'm still not on firm ground. I trudge through the day, as if I'm walking hip deep in the ocean surf. Feeling the pull of the water, but still trying to move forward. All the while, I feel like I just want to swim out into that blue, and just go. But I have Mickey & Bernie to take care of. So, I keep moving... keep moving forward.
I know you understand this. Yes, there are moments of laughter, but it is almost forced. There are moments I forget you are is gone. But then it floods back.... hard.
Life goes on, dear boy. But right now, right this moment, I would give my life to be with you again. Whole and complete. But I know, if I did that, I would never be with you. And I would abandon your brother and sister. That would not be fair. So, I live on, to honor you and your memory. I will live the rest of my life to honor you. I love you, Sammy. Now and forever...
April 11th 2008 9:22 am
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Today marks one week since I left Mom & Dad.
The gamut of emotions Mom is feeling is overwhelming. One moment, she forgets I'm gone and expects to hear me woof, the next she is crumbled on the floor in the Monkey Zone, crying, and the next, she feels some strange relief to know my pain has ended.
The wind has calmed at home. I have settled in to my place up at the bridge. Not only do I have my leg again, but I have the tail that was docked when I was only a few days old. It is beautiful and wags often.
The brook at the bridge is calm and deep enough for me to swim in. The water envelops me like a hug from my Mom I can no longer have. Peace reigns here. I am at peace.
Yesterday, Dad went to go pay my final bill. Dr. Klingborg came out and talked to Dad. He told Dad thanks for making the right decision for me, and for helping me go gently. He made a donation in my name, to UC Davis. How sweet is that? That Doctor always did right by me. He always had my best interests at heart.
I just got the prettiest garden stake for my grave from Muffin and her Mommy. It means the world to me. It is a pretty angel with a heart. On the heart, is my name and my year of birth and parting. Thank you, Muffin... I love you, dear, dear friend.
Lucy's Mom called my Mommy yesterday, too. How sweet is that? She is worried about my Mommy, while Mommy is worried about Lucy!
Sweet Angel Candy sent me this poem, to help Mom feel better. It is so very accurate.
I stood by your bed last night,
I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying,
You found it hard to sleep.
I whined to you softly
as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you,
I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
I was close to you at breakfast,
I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many times,
your hands reached down to me.
I was with you at the shops today,
Your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels,
I wish I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today,
You tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you,
that I'm not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house,
as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you,
I smiled and said "it's me."
You looked so very tired,
and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know,
that I was standing there.
It's possible for me to be,
so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty,
"I never went away."
You sat there very quietly,
then smiled, I think you knew,
in the stillness of that evening,
I was very close to you.
The day is over... I smile
and watch you yawning
and say "goodnight, God bless,
I'll see you in the morning."
And when the time is right for you
to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you
and we'll stand, side by side.
I have so many things to show you,
there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out.
Then come home to be with me.
April 9th 2008 10:09 am
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I sent Daddy a shooting star last night. He looked up at the sky, and saw it... I had to give Daddy a gift.
Please forgive me for not sending thanks sooner. I have to respond to over 300 messages of love... and Mom is having a hard time coming on. I know in time, it will be easier, but for now...
They come to the cemetery every day. They light candles, water my plant and flowers, and sit there and cry...
Mom is working on my epitaph. It is so hard to write for her. It has to say something to those who read it to let them know all about me.
One part of it is going to be, "MORE SPIRIT THAN HIS BODY COULD HANDLE"
That will be on the granite marker. But on the metal photo marker, she will put the special message to me. She did it for Kody, Grizzly & Astro.
I love you all, and please, don't forget me. I am right next to you now.
April 7th 2008 3:31 pm
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Thank you, my friends, for running with me, and for all the lovely tributes you have written for me.
I am doing so much better! I can watch over Mom & Dad, and bark all I want, and no one plugs their ears! I am chasing squirrels (aka beeps) and digging like crazy for gophers (aka sompins) and just feeling sooooo good. I don't hurt! I really don't! I cuddle with Kody & Griz when I get tired, and I get all the food I want!
I'll let Mom type now:
Dearest friends,
How can I ever thank you for all the love you have given us. Now and as long as we have been on Dogster, we have felt like you are all family.
To Otto & Karen, thank you for the beautiful plant. It is on Sammy's grave.
Sassy, Sally & Jim, thank you for the beautiful flowers. I have them high up so Wally can't eat them. I smell them as I walk through the house, and feel the hug that was sent with them.
Dr. Klingborg, Sammy's primary care vet, sent him a beautiful arrangement too.
I have received cards from Rusty & Missy and their Mom Wendy, and one from the Brew City Pitties, and their Dad, Chad. And so many pawmails, emails, rosettes that I will do my best to respond to quickly.
I wanted to share one thing. The day Sammy made his journey something magical happened. We were driving away from the cemetery to go home to make arrangements for the funeral the next day when I looked up to the sun. It was a partly cloudy day, where you see the blue sky between the striations of clouds. I looked at the sun and I saw something I haven't seen in all my 42 years. There was a rainbow around the sun. Now maybe this is a normal phenomenon, but I felt it was a message.
His funeral was beautiful. Family came, and though it was small, it was right. He was buried with Kody & Griz's caskets touching his casket. It was a very hard day, but I do know he is free of pain.
Last night, to help Mickey & Bernadette feel a little better, we went for a long walk. We walked past a business that makes foam figures. David, Sammy's daddy, glanced toward the business as we walked past, and inside was a street sign. Now, mind you, this place doesn't make street signs. But Sammy wanted to get a message to his Daddy that he is with us always. The sign was TRIPOD Way. There is no Tripod Way in Merced County.... Tonight we will go by again to see if it is still there. If it is, we will try to take a photo of it.
My heart literally hurts. My arms ache to hold him. It is so quiet in the house. No one barks, no one howls, it feels empty in here. My right arm begs to have the weight of a belly strap in it. I know he doesn't hurt any more, and that is the only way I am getting through this.
In the past 8 years, I have had to bury 4 of my beloved. Too many. But each of them have taught me a lesson. I wouldn't do a thing different. I wouldn't trade a day of this pain to not have them in my life. If I didn't love them as much as I do, it wouldn't hurt this badly.
So, with that, I embrace this pain, knowing it is only temporary. I will begin to make my diary of happy thoughts. Like the fact he would get his hackles up and growl just to smell a skunk from a mile away... He hated skunks. So many memories. I hope to share them all with you. As he was YOUR Monkey Boy, too.
Thank you all for being Sammy's friends & family.
April 4th 2008 4:35 pm
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Dearest friends,
I tried... I really did. I had such a wonderful day yesterday. Sassy sent me a gift box and I did something I hadn't done in years. I romped! I did!
This morning I tried to get up to go out, and it hurt. I was able to, but came back in and took my pain meds. Then I started to cry. Oh friend, it hurt so bad. My back gave out. My entire body was shaking with pain. Mom tried to calm me and massage me, but every time I moved, I whined and cried.
We decided to go to the vet. This time, it wasn't going away like before. When we got there, I screamed in pain just to move. Dr. Klingborg looked at me, and Mom knew by the look in his eyes, it was time. They could have left me there with an IV of muscle relaxers, but it would happen again in another day or so... So he left them for a few minutes. Mom and Dad cried, and tried to talk to me, but I didn't want to look in their eyes. I was hurting too much. Mom asked if I wanted to go home, and I tried to get up, and SCREAMED like I did when my leg broke. They knew it was time. Dr. Klingborg gave me an IV catheter, and gave my my final medicine. As the fluid went into my body, it burned; I cried. Dr. Klingborg warned them this might happen. He stopped and waited for a few seconds, then continued... And I went in the loving arms of my father... while being kissed by my mother.
My funeral is tomorrow morning at 10 at the Franklin Pet Cemetery...
Daddy dug my grave himself. He is so lost without me. Mommy sat with my body even though my spirit was gone. Mickey & Bernadette were there, too. Mickey is very lost right now.... I'm worried about him.
I have such a pretty casket... and Otto, thank you so much for the beautiful plant. It was at the door when Mom & Dad came home.
This is so hard for me to be gone from Mom. She really doesn't know how she is going to go on.
Thank you all for the love you are sending. I don't hurt any more. I have all of my legs, and I'm playing with my brothers again!
April 4th 2008 11:39 am
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Sweet Goodbye
You’re giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.
But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.
So, looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond, into your soul,
I see, in you, the magic, that will
Once more, make me whole
The strength that you possess,
Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done
For it’s the only way.
That strength is why I’ve followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I’ve loved you all these years….
My partner ‘til the end.
Please, understand just what this gift,
You’re giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I’ve lost,
And all my dignity.
You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it, too.
So, one last time,
I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that’s within you,
To now grant me this appeal.
Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady dog,
My pain and struggle done.
Please, don’t despair my passing
For I won’t be far away.
Forever here, within your heart,
And memory, I’ll stay.
I’ll be there, watching over you,
Your ever faithful friend,
And in your memories, I’ll run,
…. A young dog, once again.
In Loving Memory of Samuel Jacob (Monkey Boy) ... left in the arms of angels, Friday morning, April 4, 2008.
Love, Auntie Alison
April 2nd 2008 9:07 am
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Thanks so much, you pups! You made my birthday just pawfect!
I had such a pawsome birthday! This morning, I woke up so happy! I rolled over and rubbed all over the bed, making my happy grunting sounds! Then I popped up and snuggled Daddy, got my tea, and then RAN (well, in true 3 legged Monkey style) down to go out! Dragged Mommy the entire way!
I really did well!
Mom has lots of work to help me thank everypup for my pretties! Sassy sent me ZEALIES for a present! How sweet is that?
My Sadie Lee threw a heck of a birthday bash for me! It was a super duper fun time!
Love you all!
April 1st 2008 2:19 pm
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I'm 11! I made it! I'm 11!!!
How cool is that?
I'm having a resty day, but Daddy is coming home early and we are going to go to the cemetery to visit Kody, Grizzly & Astro's graves. Astro went to the bridge 4 years ago, tomorrow. Mommy needs to type her letter to Astro. Then we will send him the letter via air mail.
Does anyone know what it means if you have a tremor or constant twitch in your thigh? I have been having that for a long time, and it bugs me. I'll be laying there, resting, and my leg is twitching like I have a jumping bean in it!
I am so lucky to have so many pals. I have tried to thank everypup, but if I missed you, I am soooo sorry.
The love of my life, Sadie Lee, is throwing me a pawsome pawty, so I gotta go.
I love you all!
Happy Birthday to me! I made it!
March 31st 2008 11:55 am
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I pawmise, this is no April Fool Joke!
I'm going to turn 11 tomorrow!! I am so happy! For me, it is a huge accomplishment, because 15 months ago, I was told I might have to go to the bridge within months... or less.
But with all the love and devotion Mom & Dad have given me, I am making it!
Now, mind you, I am having a lot of pain, but I'm not ready to go.
Yesterday and Saturday, Daddy was out of town in the morning, so I was really mad at him. But yesterday, when he came home before noon, I didn't snap out of it. I was down all day. Mom was worried. My eyes didn't sparkle, and I just didn't want to do anything. I even refused my pumpkin meds at lunch!!! Maybe I had a tummy ache, but I did eat my kibbles in my post potty treat (5 kibbles in 1 cup of water). Maybe I had a headache?? Dunno, but after dinner I got better.
I'm kinda pouty this morning, too... but I'm going to go lay in the sun. I gotta rest up for the pawty tomorrow!! Yipee!!!
Love you all!
Sammers
UPDATE:
O.k. I must be doing better, 'cause I just took Mom for a toodle all around the back yard! My back leg kinda gave at a couple of points, but we were in the way back of the yard, and there are these mean pods from the eucalyptus tree that might have hurt my paw.
Mommy is happy I'm feeling better. Must be all those birthday wishes I keep feeling from my pals!
March 25th 2008 10:28 am
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When Mommy & Daddy talk loud to each other, I get so worked up, I hurt myself.
Do you do that?
Mom & Dad aren't allowed to have an argument. I just won't have it. Grizzly was the same way, and when he passed, I took over that job.
Last night, they were talking loud to each other, and I jumped up on Mommy, and tried to kiss her. I barked, and spun, and did whatever I could to get her attention. I know it wasn't fair, as Mommy has the right to be angry sometimes, but just not around me. Problem is: She is never not around me.
So, today, I am moving very slowly. My eyes are not sparkling, even though Mommy apologized to me, and she and Dad made up. Mom is going to give me extra pain medicine today. She is giving me more heat packs, and massaged me almost all night.
I didn't need this. I guess I never do, though, do I?
Please, say a prayer for my friend, ,Lucy. She is having her remaining eye removed today. It will help her with pain, but still, we pray the surgery is easy, and she pops back to being our Lucy, quickly.
Please forgive us if we haven't responded to any rosettes or pawmails. We are working on it.
I LOVE YOU ALL!
March 21st 2008 3:04 pm
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Today is Mommy & Daddy's 21st wedding anniversary! I wish they could go out and have a nice dinner, but they won't.
But they will be getting some great take-out, and watching a nice movie. Something about puppies, probably! BOL!
Thanks to everypup that has sent them a anniversary wish! You are all so sweet!
Now, you all have to know that my very good pal, Muffin, is going to turn 11 on March 29! Please, please, please, drop by her page and give her extra love! See, both she and I were told we would never make it this long! Phooey on those humans, huh?! Three cheers for Muffin! Hip, hip, hurray!! Hip, hip, hurray!! Hip, hip, hurray!! Yay, Muffin!!!
Love you!
March 20th 2008 9:38 am
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Hi, everypup!
Well, I'm just a little better today. My eyes are sparkling more, but I'm still having a hard time moving about. But that's o.k. I'll persevere like always. I'm too stubborn to not be ok. One of my pals, Elvis, suggested I go to the vet about everyone smelling my paw. He said his Mom had a pup with the same kind of thing and it ended up being the big "C" word. He was so sweet to write to me and worry. But if it is cancer, I can't have any real treatment, as I am already on my "last legs"! BOL! If it gets worse, we'll go to the vet to get stronger pain meds.
But my poor Buggy brother, Mickey, has a really bad tummy ache again. He keeps stretching out, and doesn't want to curl up like he usually does. He was outside for a long time yesterday and ate too many old almonds. His poop is full of undigested almond pieces. I know he'll be o.k. but this morning, he kinda whined/whimpered while trying to get comfortable. Mom checked his tummy for any kind of hardness or lumps, but he was o.k. She gently massaged it, and it seemed to help a lot.
He ate his breakfast like he hadn't eaten in a week!
Mom has cut back our Dogster time to one hour a day, and in that time we try to catch up on everything.
Love you all!
Sammy
March 17th 2008 9:11 am
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My very good friend, Lucy, has been a very brave Basset Hound.
December 14th, she was diagnosed with glaucoma, then, just before Christmas, she lost her right eye to glaucoma. She was doing pretty well, but every so often her remaining eye would spike in pressure. She was scheduled to have a laser surgery to help with this problem, but God had other plans. On Saturday, the pressure in her eye spiked, and she immediately went completely blind. I just can't imagine. I know she felt pain with that spike, and then to see only darkness. It makes me so sad to know she will never again see a bird fly, never see another butterfly flit by her nose, nor will she see the love before her. But I do know, she will smell it all with that wonderful nose of hers, and hear everything with those huge ears. I know that sight, for a basset is the last sense they use. But I'm still sad for her and her Mommy.
Mom found a poem for her...
Poem about a Blind Dog
by Sherrill Wardrip
I cannot see you Mommy, when you cuddle me so near.
And yet I know you love me, it's in the words I hear.
I cannot see you Daddy, when you hold me by your side
But still I know you love me when you tell me so with pride.
I cannot see to run and play out in the sun so bright
For here inside my tiny head it's always dark as night.
I cannot see the treats you give when I am extra good
But I can wag my tail in Thanks just like a good dog should.
"She cannot see. The dogs no good" is what some folks might say
"She can't be trained, she'll never learn She must be put away."
But not you, Mom and Daddy You know that it's all right
Because I love you just as much as any dog with sight.
You took me in, you gave me love and we will never part
Because I'm blind with just my eyes, I see you in my heart.
Please, send love to my pal, Lucy.
Sammy
March 14th 2008 10:46 am
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Dang, am I tired of hurting. You know, today is Friday, and I'm due to have a big weekend with Dad. But they are forecasting rain tonight & Saturday...
So, all of the fur-faces, both dogs and cats, in the house are taking turns sniffing my left paw. Front one, of course. The back one is long gone. Wally, the rotten cat, has been the most persistent about it. He sniffs, and wrinkles his nose, and makes this funny face when he is doing it. Mom shoes him off. It has been happening for about a week, so it isn't something on my foot, we don't think. Mom rubs my paw/leg, and I don't react. In fact, I close my eyes, and relax. Mom was worried the plate in my wrist may be getting infected. But that would cause pain, and fever. I don't have a fever, and although I'm limping profoundly, wiggling my toes, firmly manipulating my entire leg doesn't cause me any real pain. In fact, if Mom does the same thing to my right paw, I pull it away and try to get up. So, why are they smelling it?
Does it stink?
More of the monkey saga next week.
Love to you all...
Sammy
March 13th 2008 11:25 am
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Hi, my pals!
It's a little rainy today, so my bones are feelin' it, and my back is making a lot of noise. So much, Mommy is singing that jingle to me! Snap, crackle, pop! Rice Crispies!!
Does that mean I get some?? NO! Nuttin'! I get nuttin'!
I didn't let Mom exercise today, cause I just didn't wanna lay in the bedroom that long. Tonight we are going to Costco to get food, but of course, NONE for me! Doggone it! I love my car rides. Gives me a reason to get up in the morning, you know? We are going to take back those rawhide Retriever Rolls we got from there since it messed my system up so much. Mickey & Bernie-duck has soft poos, too. Must be the richness of them?
Tax time is here, and they have to pay the stupid government! Mom doesn't understand why she can't write off my medical bills! I mean, I am her son! But ol' Uncle Sam said, "nope".
Now, I wonder if any other pup has this:
When I hurt or am stressed, the lids around my eyes goes from pink to deep red. That is one way Mom knows when I'm not doing well. It goes away while I'm resting, so we know it isn't allergies. It is REALLY bad when I go to the vet. Then my nose gets really red, too.
Anywho, love you all!
Hugs and cuddles,
Sam
March 11th 2008 9:10 am
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Hi, puppers and other readers!
What a glorious day it was yesterday. I did a "walk" around the back yard yesterday, but I had to stop every 20 feet or so, lay down and rest for a while. I enjoyed it! The blossoms on the almond trees are falling apart, and the petals falling around me like snow. Light pink snow...
I had terrible runs yesterday. I chewed a retriever roll from Costco after Daddy tore it apart for me. Then it tore me apart. I'm doing better this morning, thank goodness. So, my insides are back to NORMAL! wheeehoooo!
Mom is making her happy sounds for me, trying to be sure to keep up my spirit. It works so well. Between the sunshine, the warmth, Mom singing to me and making happy sounds, and my evening rides in the car during the day light, my spirit is bright and shining, even if my stupid body isn't!
You pups are just the best sending me love. I love you all sooo much!
March 9th 2008 12:12 pm
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Mommy is trying to not worry, cause I know I have my good days and my bad ones. But the past days have been painful for me. We know my back is hurting, but I just popped my right wrist. I was trying to move, and Dad thought I was trying to lay down. My wrist made a loud popping sound and I kinda fell over. I didn't yelp, and I am using it, but very gingerly. None of my limbs are swollen, so that is good.
When it was my medicine time, I didn't even lift my head to take my pills. Mommy is sad, and VERY worried.
My eyes are showing some of my pain now. I know it isn't as bad as I've been, and Mom sure prays this is one of those bad days I'll get over.
Please understand if I don't get on Dogster for a few days. I'll try to update my diary. I just need to rest, I think.
Love to you all...
Sammy
March 6th 2008 2:33 pm
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Take a pillow. Any pillow. Now flick it with your finger.
Hear that sound? That is what my back sounds like when it pops. AND OOO, boy is it poppin'. Mommy jokes that she thinks I'll start poopin' Jiffy Pop popcorn soon!
Other than that, I'm doing o.k. Limping still, but that isn't stopping me from having a good morning!
Mom has been sitting with me in the back yard. But the almond blossoms are really getting to her. See, when you live in Merced County, if you don't have allergies when you come, don't worry... you'll get them!
Bernadette & Mickey have been playing quite a bit lately, and I sure want to join in!
OH! I forgot to bark, yesterday we were in the back, laying on an old blanket when I looked towards the fence, and there, on top, was a rotten old BEEP! (aka: Squirrel) I jumped up and started running off, to kill it. Mom, and her old body, tried to get up quickly to catch me, but NOPE! Good thing I listen pretty good, 'cause she yelled, "Sammy, NO!" and I stopped. Begrudgingly, but I did stop.
I coulda probably killed that darned Beep. I have in my younger days, you know.
Love and light to you all!
Sammers
March 3rd 2008 10:59 am
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OUCH!!! I stepped on Goatheads yesterday!
We were doing our Sunday car ride. Mom & Dad drive around subdivisions nearby, looking at all the empty houses in foreclosure. It is so sad to see how many people have lost their homes. Our area is one of the top 3 cities in the country in foreclosure. Our community is empty. So sad.
Well, Mom & Dad just look at those houses and thank God. "There, but for the Grace of God, go I" is a favorite saying here at home.
So, we were driving and driving, and I had to pee!! So I got really agitated, and demanded to go. They stopped at a beautiful house, but they had let the weeds take over. So, I got these horrible thorns called goatheads or puncture vines, in EACH of my paws! OUCH! They got them out immediately, but my feets still hurt. Bernie-Roo got them in one of her paws, and she is limping a little. Mom got out the flashlight and tweezers, but there isn't anything in there... just a puncture wound.
Today is a "resty day". Daddy works until late tonight, so it's my day to rest. It is going to be gorgeous here today. The weather man expects near 70 degrees today! WOW!
Enjoy life, cause tomorrow is not promised. Kiss your loved ones often.
February 27th 2008 1:12 pm
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Oh, am I paying for the "fwippies" I did when Mom got home. I call them Fwippies, because my good friend, Rudy Patudy, would call them that. I surely don't flip, but I wiggle all over the place, and with only one leg, I often fall over. When I catch myself, I often pull muscles in all my legs, and of course, my back.
Well, I did sooo many fwippies when Mommy got home, now I'm paying for it.
I'm super happy, and I have ALMOST made it through February without breaking anything... only 2 more days! Yipee!
I am taking my Robaxin almost every day. It sure does help me. I only take one dose a day, not the 3 a day I was prescribed.
Mom just emailed Dr. K to see if I can keep going on the Robaxin this way. I sure hope so. I like feeling good!
Hugs to you all!
February 25th 2008 11:08 am
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Well, Mommy is back from her visit to Auntie Alison's. She had a great time, and we got our Daddy 100%, but oh, boy! Am I feeling it!
When Mom got home, I wiggled myself into a frenzy. Now my back is popping really bad, and I can't get comfortable.
But don't you worry. My eyes are still sparkling, and I'm still smiling, so Mom knows this is just temporary.
Please, say a prayer for my tripod pal, Lucky. She lost her leg in her fight against cancer, but it has taken over her lungs. Her Mommy posted that she will probably be taking her final journey to the bridge today. I am very sad. We were tripods about the same time. She did sooooo well. I never expected to lose my friend. I am very sad about that.
Also, my good friend, Bonnie Blue has taken her final journey to the bridge. She was lucky enough to have been found by a wonderful family, but her leaving still saddens me.
Well, I have to rest today.
Sending love and light to you!
Sammers
February 22nd 2008 8:30 am
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This morning, we got a late start. I didn't get my pain meds until 6:37 am, so I'm moving rather slowly. If I don't limber up in the next 30 minutes, Mom is gonna give me my Robaxin.
Then she decides she is going to leave to Auntie Alison's TONIGHT until Sunday! This is a HUGE test for Daddy. He has to be just a Daddy this weekend. No being a gardener, no being a taxidermist, no being a housewife! All he is allowed to do is be a Daddy (take care of us fur-faces), a cook for himself and us, and once a day he can be a litterbox cleaner. Oh, and he can be a pharmacist for me!
Its rainy today. Maybe that has something to do with my owies?
Oh, can I ask for a prayer in advance? On March 4, my good pal, Lucy, is having laser surgery on her only eye. Her Mommy is really scared, understandably. If you could reserve some prayers for her on that date, and if you don't mind, the days before, that would be pawsome! She has to have a tiny hole put in her eye, to help her be able to stabilize the pressure from the glaucoma. She sure is a sweet doggie!
Love to you all! I won't update my diary until Monday, so please don't worry!
Hugs to you all!
Sammers
February 19th 2008 6:33 pm
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Today, I was laying there, minding my own business. Mom came over and started loving on me. She was rubbing my back, then my right hip, then my butt ( I LOVE my butt rubbed). She started laughing.
Now why was she laughing?? I don't know! I was laying down, totally still... but she started saying I was "HALF FAST"?? I know I've slowed down, but Half Fast? Whaaaa???
She giggled saying that since I lost my leg, my butt looks like I only have half of my back end... so does she mean something else???
*Gasp*!!
Naw, I bet she meant I'm just Half Fast.
;-)
February 19th 2008 8:38 am
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I typed the below post before I knew that my best bully buddy, Arthur, suddenly passed to the bridge yesterday. I am beyond sad. Please understand I didn't know when I typed the below.
After a wonderful weekend, and showing Mom that I'm still Sammy, through and through, and even though I'm hurting, this dog is not ready to go anywhere!
My spirit is full, intact, and probably more complete than it was before I got my hip replaced. My body is older than my spirit, but it won't stop me.
Mom said several times, that if I could have my last day as good as this weekend was, I will be going to the bridge one happy pup!
Of course, I'm sore, and moving slow (Daddy went to work, so I have to pout) but you know, I'll take it!
Yesterday, while laying outside, we saw one of our almond trees had it's first blossom. You know spring is coming when you see that! That is probably one reason I'm doing so much better! It was 66 degrees yesterday! Today they say it will rain, but not so cold.
I can't thank my pals enough for praying for me, lighting candles, and just reading my diary. Thank you all sooooo much!
So, that was my post from first thing this morning. I don't know what to say to make losing Arthur and Gracie Jane right. I don't think its possible. But I know that my bully buddy left on his own terms. His Mommy came home from work, and he ate, took some deep long breaths, and told his Mommy it was time. She called his Daddy, to say they had to go to ER to save Arthur, but Arthur had his own idea. True Bully to the end, he chose how, when and were he would take his final journey. Rather than be in a cold vet clinic, he chose to be on his bed, with his beloved Mommy and take his last breath. Graceful and just like him, he left on his own terms. He lived that way, and died that way. May we all be able to do the same. Go with our loved one with us, surrounded by love.
Godspeed, Arthur.
February 18th 2008 4:01 pm
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Well, pups! I did it! I had a great day, with the next day not being horrible!!!
Daddy is off today, because of President's Day, so I got to do lots of stuff! I was laying in my big bed out front, watching both Mom & Dad work in the yard! Mom hasn't been able to do that for over a year!!! We used to spend every weekend in the yard, pruning and weeding, and I would lay there and supervise.
Yesterday, not only did I got to Ms. Nancy's, I also went to the cemetery!!! I love going there! It is like a huge dog park, with lots of things to pee on. Mom worries, because there are vases that are empty and laying in the cement headstones. But I did really well, with Mom's help. I laid down on a towel and watched them clean up Kody, Grizzly & Astro's graves, putting new silk flowers out, and lighting a new candle. It was so great! I went on several walks out front, and bopped away from Mom without my belly strap a few times! BOL! She ran after me, but off I bopped!! Like a REAL Tripod!! I did it a few times, today, too! Not as gracefully, but still pretty quick!
Anyway, today we went to Foster Freeze and got an ice cream cone! We always think of Little Bit when we have them! Kody was a great ice cream cone eater! He would pretend he was going to lick it, and like some kind of alien, he would all of a sudden have these teeth all in the cone! He once ate a small cone in one bite! AND he didn't even have a brain-freeze! I wonder if Little Bit got brain freeze?? I bet at the bridge she gets all she wants now!
We heard wonderful news! Our pal, Precious, is doing sooo much better!! We are beyond thrilled!
Stryker is home with Auntie Alison, and is doing really well, too!
All in all, a GREAT day! A Fabulous weekend!!! Mom is smiling too big. Hurts her old face! I hope it doesn't crack! BOL!
February 17th 2008 10:42 am
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Daytona starts in 20 minutes!! Waahooo! Big time NASCAR fans in this house!
This morning, I decided I felt good... so I went for a walk over to Nancy's house (with Daddy holding the belly strap)! YIPEE!
I went into their house and saw Phantom. We call him Tummy. Tummy is part of our pack. He lived with us for a while and when his sister died, he stayed with us a lot to relieve the grief. He followed us home again!!! He stayed for a little while, and we were all so happy to have our Tummy home again!
I am super tired, but happy! YIPEE! I am having a happy Sunday!
February 16th 2008 9:34 am
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It should have been a happy day... My book came. It is a book of stories about tripawds, and I'm in it. Mom was excited when the UPS guy came and left it on the porch. Then we went out back to lay in the winter sun. It was so warm and nice. Even though my back is giving me pain, I'm so happy... and then we come in, Mom gets on Dogster and our day goes from happy and bright to filled with tragedy.
Yesterday, we were shocked. Our friend, Gracie Jane passed to the bridge. She was so tiny, and fairly young! Only 9 years old. Her trachea collapsed. Her parents tried to save her, but she would have had to live the rest of her life in an oxygen tent, and a little social butterfly like Gracie Jane would have never been happy with that.
We are so sad, and sorry for her family. It feels impossible she is gone. When we go to her page, we hear her song, "Amazing Grace", and Mom can't see the screen for the tears that just pour out of her face.
So many of our friends have changed their main photo to her tiny face. Our favorite photo of her is when she is looking at the camera and saying, "Mornin' Momma!"
We can't imagine the pain her family is in. She wasn't supposed to go. There was no warning. No clue. Her Mom wrote a post, telling us to appreciate our pups, and go and cuddle. Good advise.
So, for a few days, we are going to log off Dogster, and thank God for the days we do have with our family. We have to live TODAY. Not yesterday, cause we can't change that. Not tomorrow, because no one promised us tomorrow. But TODAY. All we have.
While we didn't know Gracie Jane very well, that didn't mean we didn't love her.
Please, love your pets, no matter the age, or species. Love them as if today is all you have.
February 14th 2008 11:10 am
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Yes... I admit it. I was the anonymous Monkey Kisser!
Monkey Kiss
If you saw this feller in a rosette, it was me. BOL! I added a little message to this picture... but yup! It was me! :-)
Happy Valentine's Day!!
Today, I'm agitated. I have been barking and carrying on. Mom doesn't know what I want, other than to be allowed to lay at the "snack bar" and be fed almonds.
It is really windy and cool here today. We have several almond trees in the back yard, and Mickey goes out there all the time and runs to the "snack bar". That's what we call it, 'cause the trees still have nuts on them, and the wind is knocking them off. We lay under there, when we can. Mom "harvests" the nuts, and takes them to a rock and cracks them for me. Mickey is great at cracking them all by himself. He never eats any shell, but he leaves all these shells all over the snack bar that hurt my paws. Mommy gets mad at him.
Anyway, I have been insisting on sitting out there and be fed almonds like some kind of Greek God! BOL!
Unfortunately, it is too cold, and my legs are hurting. I'm walking like I have an almond shell stuck between my toes (even though I don't).
Mom gave me another of the muscle relaxants today. My heart rate has been just fine. From a low of 70 to a high of 84... nothing like it was last week. So, the vets were right. It must have been pain. Mom didn't even know I was in that much pain!
So, the good news is: I have my spirit and my smile back. The bad news is, I'm still hurting and worrying Mom. When I get agitated, I'm on my way to hurting myself worse.
Just got in from a good almond fest, and I'm upside down in my little bed, pleased as punch with myself.
BOL! I love it when I get my way! Mom & Dad have made sure I am being indulged. We don't want me to be sad, right?!
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