One Year Ago Today

The tears in my eyes I can wipe away,
The ache in my heart will always stay.


Memory is life's sweetest gift,
Please, God, forgive a silent tear,
A fervent wish my Casper was here.
There are others, yes I know,
But he was mine, I loved him so,
Dear God, take a message,
To my Casper in Heaven above,
Tell him how much I miss him,
And give him all my love.

His memory is as dear today,
As in the hour he passed away.

Miss You Baby!! xoxo ♥

GONE HOME

Casper spent his last few days being even more spoiled and loved than ever (did not even think that was possible!).
I threw his special diet out the window and fed him what he loved (the night before his passing, he enjoyed 2 cheeseburgers like never before!).
The day before, we went out and took some last pictures of him and the kids - even a couple of myself with him, those will never be printed, but at least I have them for me.
His last night, he took a LONG nap outside on the deck in the cool night air, while we sat around him reminiscing his life.
The next day was a very long one indeed.
I took him to the Vet's clinic in the morning for his catheter to be inserted (this way it was a stress eliminated when the time came for the Vet to come to our home).
We spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon snuggling him, while he lightly rested.
Even though we were just not ready to say goodbye, we were also getting anxious for the Vet to arrive (as soon as she did though, it was MUCH too soon!!)
We lit Casper's candle and said our goodbyes while he rested on my lap.
Casper took his last breath in my arms, shortly before 2:30pm on September 7, 2006.

I love you Baby!! xo♥

Overwhelming Dogster Support

Fellow Dogsters,

I wish to take this opportunity to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the tremendous amount of support and love you have provided for my beloved Casper and my family. You have all touched me so very deeply and I just cannot come up with the appropriate words to tell you just how much it has meant to all of us.

Forums:

Casper's Last Post - Saying Goodbye To You All


* Rainbow Bridge Doggies - Please Help To Welcome Casper Home Today!!!

* In Memory Of Casper!

* Candle Lighting Ceremony for Casper

* Please join the Stroll for Casper...

Dogster Plus Forums:

* My friend Casper is going to the Bridge on 9/7/06 at 2:15 p.m

* Please Dogsters - will you join a Stroll for Casper?

An extra special Thank You to Casper's extra special friend Buddie D. Smith for going above and beyond for my Casper!

It's Time .............

I am ready to leave this earthly life. My body is very tired and I am ready to "go home".

Mom has been begging me and praying to God for a "there-is-no-way-she-could-ever-miss-it" sign that I am ready and I finally granted her that wish last night. As Mom and I were having some quiet time, we looked each other in the eyes and she asked if my body was ready to sleep - I gently closed my eyes and sighed.

I am so very sad to be leaving the loving comfort of my Family and yet I am happy that I will no longer be suffering through these aches, pains and seizures (which I know my Family suffers through as well), I will be free to run again.

I have been blessed with the highest power possible of earthly love here with my Family, they have given me the very best of life that a pup could ask for or ever dream of. And while I shall miss them dearly, I shall still always be with them and I have left them with more than a lifetime worth of my love, memories and happy times - even some frustrating ones, I have to admit.

Dogster pups have been an incredible part of the remaing months of my life as well. I've played with many of you in the "Who's Feeling Silly" forum, I, along with my Mom have gained valuable knowledge and insights through direct questions or just by reading other's experiences, I have made many friends, many of you supported me and helped me win in a photo contest (a great pre-send off!!) and so very, very many of you have been praying for me for which I cannot thank you enough.

And now Pups, I have one last request ...........
Ms. Vet will be coming into my home on Thursday, September 7, 2006 at 2:15pm MST - please light a candle at that time so as to light my way and say one last prayer for me that my journey is a speedy and peaceful one.

Love To All Of you!
-Casper

Not So Good News

I had a very difficult night last night, with more episodes - one of them being very severe - Mom and Sis camped out in the kitchen with me all night (we are in a 2-story and I can't handle going up and down all those stairs to get to the bedrooms, so I sleep in the kitchen). The rest of the day has not been nearly as bad - but that is about the ONLY "good" thing that I can report.

Went and saw Ms. Vet today (she didn't even bother working on my "poodle" legs!!) and well, I'm still OLD, but what has been troubling me is neither "Old Age Vestibular Disease", nor an ear infection. I have not hurt myself and do not have any breaks, fractures, sprains or strains.

Ms. Vet's last attempt for me now is another pain reliever, "Tramadol" in *hope* that I am suffering nerve damage in my shoulder and neck. But in all likelihood, it is the Dementia that is the culprit - and if that is the case, my time left here with my Family is very limited indeed.

I really need to go and lie down, so I'm sliding the keyboard over to Mom now:

Fellow Dogster Pals and Packs, the hurt is so agonizingly deep right now - we have a very difficult decision to make over the next couple of days if Casper does not respond to the Tramadol and I just really need to take a break this weekend (will likely not be at the computer).
Before doing so though, I really wanted to say a genuine THANK YOU to all the Pups and their Packs that we have befriended here at Dogster. It touches me so very deeply how friendly, supportive and caring you all have been with my Casper and me, I can't think of more words to express my Thanks and gratitude for your friendships that I hope shall continue on, no matter the outcome of Casper's current situation.

God Bless you all - I'm going now to HUG my baby!

Old Age ...............

Yup, it's official - I'm OLD.

Gave the Sis a scare first thing this morning when I let out a good YIP while trying to get off my bed, then I just lay there with a funny twist to my head. Mom came and soothed me and got me up and I *seemed* okay. But as the day wore on, I had more episodes like this but with greater intensity. (I CRY, my body stiffens and leans/curves to the left - the side of me that is affected - , arch my back, I do very tight circles and finally give out while Mom/Sis are comforting and stroking me. My eyes are HUGE and I am VERY scared when all of this happens - I mean geesh, I'm just laying in my bed, minding my own business dreaming sweet lil' doggie-dreams and BANG!! - this jolt of pain just comes outta nowhere!)

Well, turns out that I may have "OLD AGE Vestibular Disease", with possible ear infection - as per Ms. Vet's diagnosis over the phone. I will be going in to see her tomorrow, rather than my original Saturday appointment. (I just think she is rather anxious to get working on my "poodle" legs again!!)

So, until tomorrow Pups - Stay Happy & Well!!

Love & Licks,
Casper

If interested, you can learn about Vestibular Disease here

UPDATE: My Follow-up With the Vet

Good News: My blood pressure is top notch!

Bad News: Ms. Vet is determined to make me look like a Poodle! With all the strips she's shaving off my legs every time I see her lately, for blood draws, blood pressure .............. no offence to all the Poodles out there - nothing wrong with looking like a Poodle ..... if you ARE one!!

Now the waiting for the results of today's blood draw.

And waiting......

Had a nap .......


Still waiting ......

TaDa!! Ms. Vet phoned! My liver enzyme levels are still a bit high, but have come down since my last visit, so that is a good thing, but still needs to be monitored. (see, I told ya she wants me to look like a poodle - more leg shave/blood draw in another week!!)
I will also be starting Metacam tomorrow for pain management, along with a liver protectant (Milk Thistle) and Hills Prescription Diet B/D kibble.

So all in all, Mom is very happy with the results, my health and the current course of action that Ms. Vet is taking with me!

Thanks for reading!

Love & Licks,
Casper

Feelin' Good

The beginning of the week was not so great, but the past few days have been good days for me.

Mom bought me a different food the past week (with lower protein) and she really believes that it has already made a difference and she just can't wait until I go onto the good stuff from Ms. Vet later this week! I seem to have more energy now and am even napping much less - a big plus for my 2-legged siblings!! They have been getting to play with and walk me more.

YAY me!!

The Results Are In

Well, the Vet phoned Mom with my test results. The good news first ...... Ms. Vet says that if her own blood work looks like mine when 'she' is 95 years old, she will be one very happy gal! I do not have Diabetes nor do I have Cushing's Disease. Woof Hoo for me!!

I do however show that one of my kidney's is beginning to fail - the start of kidney disease that she hopes a change in prescription diet will improve. I also show very, very minor liver damage, that she will want to check again in 2 weeks.

And so for the increased appetite, her diagnosis at the moment is most likely Doggie Alzheimer's (Dementia). After reading up on this some, Mom "has" noticed many of the signs/symptoms and my Family now has to keep an ever closer watch on me than ever before.

It is sad news, as this means that the end is now closer in sight, more of a reality now for the Family. But the Family "does" feel grateful that they won't have to faced with the "He is too far in years to put forth the large expense of surgery/treatment" for any life threatening illness. Mom always prayed that I would pass on from plain "old age", natural causes.

So, time for this "old gaffer" to take a nap ..................... stay tuned.

Oh! In the meantime, have a gander at my new video!

Love & Licks,
Casper

Dogster Daily Diary Pick!

WOOF HOO! I am one of today's featured diaries and it will be displayed all day on Dogster's Diary Central page at http://www.dogster.com/diary/dcentral.php under 'Today's Picks'. (for Today, August 12, 2006)

Thank you Dogster for this Honor!