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Rest in Peace Big

Rest In Peace Big

I made a tribute for my dog Big on December 6th.

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.vi ew&friendID=3012228&blogID=9303815&Mytoken=20050116005917



A lot of you already know that he had cancer and I knew his time was near.

I was going to confirm that he need to be put down on December 27th but couldnt do it. My sister was gone on vacation and I didnt want to do it on my own.

The last few days he was at his worst so I told my sister that we gotta take him, its over.

So yesterday at 2 pm it was confirmed that he needed to be put down. I didnt want to do it until today so I was suppose to come in today at 10 AM

I just wanted Big to see his home , Chunk and Kitty and have 1 more meal with us.

While I was at work my sister called and told me Big passed away 30 minutes after he got home.

I couldn't of asked for anything more. I was dreading having to take my dog to get put down. It was a double edged sword. Guilt if I don't because hes suffering or guilt that I have to take him down there and in a way take his life.

Big never let me down and even in death he pulls through for us.

My sister told me as soon as he got to the backyard he collapsed and was ready to go. But she wanted him to die on his couch so kept encouraging him to get up and he did.

He died peacefully on his couch. He's beautiful. He looked so peaceful and Im glad he finally gave up to cancer.

They say that nature is smarter then people think and that when animals are ready to go they go. I know Big knew we were dreading taking him to get put down, he knew we were sad that he was in pain so he left peacefully, picture perfect.

A lot of people lose their pets in guilt, or wonder what if. A lot of people wish they did things differently.

Big didn't leave that cloud hanging over our head.

For the first half of 2004 I took him out 2-5 times a week to play at the park.
When cancer caught up with him he just relaxed outside while he watched Chunk run around.

The last thing I said to him was

"Big your the best, your Number 1. I love you pal"

I'm sad but at the same time I'm happy. I knew it was his time and I just cant get over that he left us the way he did. He said bye to his 2 adopted brothers, My sister gave him a burger (he always loved food) and he died on his favorite couch.

I'm never going to forget him though. No one ever really dies unless you forget about them. When I look at Kitty and Chunk I still see Big, especially when I look at Chunk. Its not Chunks yard, he's just keeping it warm for Big.

Last month I said knowing Big made me a better person. His death has made me even better. You just realize whats important and what isnt. Some things are just not worth dwelling over anymore.

I'll never forget how you are my first dog,I'll never forget all your crazy antics,I'll never forget how damn smart you are, I'll never forget you accepting Chunk,then Kitty,I wont forget the Mutt Show,I wont forget the park and the walks.

The thing I wont forget most of all is how you left us. Thanks for leaving us with closure. Even in death you amaze me.

Thanks too everyone that cares and everyone that has been asking about him.

But most of all

Thanks Big Miracle.






2/24/94-1/15/05