Life is Woof!

Wow! It's 2012! Happy New Year everypup!

I have been with my peeps for 9 years now! Wow! I am happy. I am healthy. Even though I just have one eye, I keep watch on things here. Since I lost the eye 2 years ago, I have become a little skittish when sister Lucy flings herself around.

Best of all, I HAVE BEEN CANCER FREE FOR 2 YEARS!

Wishing all my pals a woofderful 2012! I lurve you all.

Before I was a dog Mom

Before I was a Dog Mom: I made and ate hot meals unmolested; I had unstained, unfurred clothes; I had quiet conversations on the phone, even if the doorbell rang.

Before I was a Dog Mom: I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got to bed . . . or if I could get into my bed.

Before I was a Dog Mom: I cleaned my house everyday, I never tripped over toys, stuffies, chewies, or invited the neighbor's dog over to play.

Before I was a Dog Mom: I didn't worry if my plants, cleansers, plastic bags, toilet paper, soap or deodorant were poisonous or dangerous.

Before I was a Dog Mom: I had never been peed on, pooped on, drooled on, chewed on, or pinched by puppy teeth.

Before I was a Dog Mom: I had complete control of my thoughts, my body and my mind. I slept all night without sharing the covers or pillow.

Before I was a Dog Mom: I never looked into big, soulful eyes and cried. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop a hurt. I never knew something so furry and four-legged could affect my heart so deeply.

Before I was a Dog Mom: I had never held a sleeping puppy just because I couldn't put it down. I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was well. I didn't know how warm it feels inside to feed a hungry puppy. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Dog Mom: I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment, or the satisfaction of being ... A Dog Mom

BEAGLEY BILL OF RIGHTS

My Mom's friend shared this with her. She says this is quite appropriate for us considering my behavior. Whatev...It's the...
BEAGLEY BILL OF RIGHTS

Amendment I
Owners shall make no law abridging the freedom to bark, bay, or howl anywhere, anytime, and for any reason, real or imagined; or growl if moved or awakened from any chosen spot. Squirting with hoses, water pistols, screaming, or physical intervention is strictly prohibited. When Beagles bark, humans must listen until they understand and then perform accordingly.

Amendment II
The right to claim any spot on the bed first, not having to move for humans or siblings; covers and pillows will remain untouched until we vacate said spot. Good sun spots must be made available throughout every house and curtains that block access are open season.

Amendment III
The unlimited right to enter and exit the back door with human assistance, performed with no grumbling under the breath.

Amendment IV
The right to at least one walk per day anywhere, anytime we want, including mud, water hazards, garbage dumps, rolling on dead animals, insects or any other unidentified smelly goo; with no censorship of items or creatures procured to eat. No muzzles, masks, or other contraptions will be applied to abridge desire to forage. Sniffing will have no limits as to time or object. Yanking or pulling on the leash is prohibited, as is screaming or physical intervention.

Amendment V
Eating anything is an inalienable right and humans shall make no rules regarding; the cat box, sibling’s treats or dinners, garbage can exploration, or countertop sweeping. All packages must be inspected upon entrance to the house. An adequate space either at or directly under the table must be provided at meal times. Any food dropped on the floor must be pointed to and is immediately property of the Beagle eliminating any five second rule of humans, and if said Beagle is absent the item must remain untouched until his arrival whether from the next room or outside. No Beagle is responsible for clean up of any residual dog spit. Treats will be distributed upon human departure and arrival. Vegetables from the garden whether on the plant or in a container, especially green beans, are property of the Beagle. Obesity or its description will be eliminated from any handbooks, manuals, leaflets, or other propaganda upon entering the house and the Beagle will determine what weight is proper for their frame.

Amendment VI
Beagles will be secure in their possessions against any search either by humans or siblings. No seizure of Beagle property is allowed and in the event of exchange for another item of higher value, both items become property of the Beagle. In counterpoint, Beagles have the right to search and seize at his whim; any pocket, purse, bag, toy box, dishwasher door, countertop, or child.

Amendment VII
Chewing feet, scratching ears, rolling on the back and biting of genitals will be permitted and the only resolution will be rubbing of the belly by the human.

Amendment VIII
Under no circumstances shall any Beagle or canine brother be used for human medical experiment. If caught, humans will undergo said experiment every day for the rest of their lives.

Amendment IX
Unusual human behavior, such as harmonica playing, phone talking, lawn mowing, leaf raking, bed-thrashing, etc. will be met with unlimited barking until said activity ceases.

Amendment X
No Beagle will be left behind!

Barking With Myself

Cini Mini Bon Bon recently discovered her echo on a ridge by her lake. After almost an hour of vocal fun she decided to write a song about her adventure. Hoping to be only a smidge as prolific as her best canine pal Kennypie, she has written this catchy little tune. BTW Cinnamon has asked her typist to let everyone know that this is her first musical venture.

"Barking With Myself"
(Howl to the tune of Billy Idol’s "Dancing With Myself")

On the blue pontoon boat
Or down on the shore to go, go
With the echo selection
With the lake reflection
I'm barking with myself!

When there's no other dog in sight
Breaking the peace of the lake night
The echo sounds so long
For my vocal vibration
And I'm barking with myself!

Oh, barking with myself
Oh, barking with myself
Well there's nothing to sniff
And I’m riding on my skiff
I'll be barking with myself!

If I looked all over the world
And there's every size of furgirl
But your big brown eyes
Seem to pass me by
Leave me barking with myself!

So let's dip again in the drink
'Cause it'll give me time to think
If I had the chance to hark
I'd ask the world to bark
And I'll be barking with myself!

Oh, barking with myself
Oh, barking with myself
Well there's nothing to sniff
And I’m riding on my skiff
I'll be barking with myself!

Barking with myself!
Barking with myself!
Barking with my sell-elf!
Barking with my sell-elf!
YIP!

BOL Stupid Human Rules...They have ZERO effect on moi, Cini- Mini Bon Bon

TO BE POSTED VERY LOW ON THE REFRIGERATOR DOOR-SNOUT HEIGHT.
DEAR DOGS AND CATS,

THE DISHES WITH THE PAW PRINTS ARE YOURS AND CONTAIN YOUR FOOD. THE OTHER DISHES ARE MINE AND CONTAIN MY FOOD. PLEASE NOTE, PLACING A PAW PRINT IN THE MIDDLE OF MY PLATE OF FOOD DOES NOT STAKE A CLAIM FOR IT BECOMING YOUR FOOD AND DISH, NOR DO I FIND THAT AESTHETICALLY PLEASING IN THE SLIGHTEST.

THE STAIRWAY WAS NOT DESIGNED BY NASCAR AND IS NOT A RACETRACK. BEATING ME TO THE BOTTOM IS NOT THE OBJECT. TRIPPING ME DOESN'T HELP BECAUSE I FALL FASTER THAN YOU CAN RUN.

I CANNOT BUY ANYTHING BIGGER TNAN A KING-SIZED BED. I AM VERY SORRY ABOUT THIS. DO NOT THINK I WILL CONTINUE SLEEPING ON THE COUCH TO ENSURE YOUR COMFORT. DOGS AND CATS CAN ACTUALLY CURL UP IN A BALL WHEN THEY SLEEP. IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO SLEEP PERPENDICULAR TO EACH OTHER SRETCHED OUT TO THE FULLEST EXTENT POSSIBLE. I ALSO KNOW THAT STICKING TAILS STRAIGHT OUT AND HAVING TONGUES HANGING OUT THE OTHER END TO MAXIMIZE SPACE IS NOTHING BUT SARCASM.

FOR THE LAST TIME, THERE IS NOT A SECRET EXIT FROM THE BATHROOM. IF BY SOME MIRACLE I BEAT YOU THERE AND MANAGE TO GET THE DOOR SHUT, IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO CLAW, WHINE, MEOW, TRY TO TURN THE KNOB OR GET YOUR PAW UNDER THE EDGE AND TRY TO PULL THE DOOR OPEN. I MUST EXIT THROUGH THE SAME DOOR I ENTERED. ALSO, I HAVE BEEN USING THE BATHROOM FOR YEARS-CANINE OR FELINE ATTENDANCE IS NOT MANDATORY.

THE PROPER ORDER IS KISS ME, THEN GO SMELL THE OTHER DOG OR CAT'S BUTT. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH!!

TO PACIFY YOU, MY DEAR PETS, I HAVE POSTED THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE ON OUR FRONT DOOR:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT & LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS.

1. THEY LIVE HERE. YOU DON'T.
2. IF YOU DON'T WANT THEIR HAIR ON YOUR CLOTHES, STAY OFF THE FURNITURE. (THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT "FUR"NITURE.)
3. I LIKE MY PETS A LOT BETTER THAN I LIKE MOST PEOPLE.
4. TO YOU, IT'S AN ANIMAL. TO ME, HE/SHE IS AN ADOPTED SON/DAUGHTER WHO IS SHORT, HAIRY, WALKS ON ALL FOURS AND DOESN'T SPEAK CLEARLY.

Dear God, Love Dog

My friend Poquito has shared these canine tidbits of wisdom with me, and I think they're perfect!

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes
that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

P.S.
Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?