return to top

Wonder Puppy

Resolved

My brother Bunny and I made up a list of resolutions for mom as a New Year's present. here it is.

1. We will stop raiding the laundry for dirty underwear and then galloping through the house dragging it behind us, no matter how deliciously peoplish it might smell.

2. If unwashed human underwear should appear by magic on one of our beds, we will not tear it apart while we are luxuriating in its scenty goodness. Nor will we play tug of war with it.

3. Should underwear somehow get torn apart in spite of our best intentions, we will not hide it under the couch and then retrieve it when the house is full of guests.

4. We acknowledge that it is rude of us to sit and stare when the people are eating Meat. If the people will likewise acknowledge that it's rude of them to eat Meat without sharing it with us, we will try to stop.

5. No matter how intriguing the smells from the neighbor's stable or how tempting the bits and pieces we find there, we will bring no souvenirs home to share. This includes hoof pairings and dried horse pats, although we want to state for the record that we believe these delicacies to be an acquired taste, if only our people would make an effort.

6. As it is so distressing to the mom, we will stop absconding with the tissue box and systematically distributing shredded tissues over the entire house.

7. We will not monopolize the couch or the good pillows on the bed. If we forget about this resolution, we will not slink away looking abused and unloved when our people remind us.

8. When out walking and competing with each other to be the first to mark every bush, rock and tree, we will not get carried away and pee on each other as well.

9. When the nice people in local shops offer us nasty old dried out bargain basement dog treats, we will not pee on those, either.

10. We resolve not to get up close and personal with the George W. Bush voodoo doll unless our people are present to enjoy the performance.

doggy hero

Last week Tuck saved a life.

First you should realize that Tuck is a little guy. Eighteen pounds of muscle and bounce and good cheer.

On Mondays Tuck and Bunny go spend the day with Sherrie, who takes them for two or three long runs, sometimes as much as ten miles. It's the doggy version of strength training. So today Sherrie was driving down a country road with Tuck next to her. She was going to feed her pig (Sherrie is an animal lover sine qua non; she has a huge pet pig called Annabelle) when Tuck starts barking. Really, really barking. Loud, insistent. He keeps looking out the window and looking at Sherrie. She slows down, but can't see anything going on. Tuck is clearly upset, but in the end she goes ahead, feeds the pig, and heads home again.

As they approach the same spot on the road, Tuck begins to howl. She stops again, and this time she sees that there is smoke coming from an isolated house. She jumps out of the car just as somebody else pulls up -- a neighbor. Sherrie says, is there anybody home? Are there animals in the house?

The neighbor runs in and comes out with a dog. Fifteen minutes later the house is entirely engulfed in flame. The unfortunate owners lost everything, but they've still got their dog.

Because of Tuck, the Wonder Puppy.