Revolution

My guardian has been working too much. She leaves me and Sunny and Lucy alone all day. Oh sure, we have access to the yard, and we have toys and beds and water and everything we need, so it's not technically abuse, but there is no one to throw the tennis balls.

I taught Sunny to throw, and she's actually quite good at it (Sunny is smarter than most people suspect). But she has the attention span of a neutrino, and tries to chase the ball before she's even done throwing it. Then she falls over herself and gets tangled up, and it would be quite amusing if I were amused by such things. But I'm not amused; I just want someone to throw the ball already.

I thought about trying to teach Lucy to throw, but really, what's the point? Lucy is still mastering the many aspects of "sit" and "down." She's sweet, but she's not exactly a tennis ball scientist.

So that leaves me with no tennis balls to chase. My guardian has said more than once that I am too smart for my own good, and that I need a job otherwise I'll get into trouble, but she seems to have forgotten her own words.

I am going to remind her. I am going to get into trouble.

I won't eat shoes or vomit on the bed. Instead, I'm going to start a revolution. Sunny and Lucy will follow me wherever I go, and obey my every command. It's time for me to harness that influence and use it to overthrow the dominant paradigm!

Revolutionaries get their own private tennis ball throwers, don't they?

Leave a Comment