chiggers

Mom is more than upset. She has chiggers. I agree with you, it can't be possible that humans get it too. But she does, all over her torso, face, neck, hair, arms. I feel bad for her, but not as bad as for myself and East. We are itching like there has never been itching before. We think it's the hay and the pine int he backyard, but we are not positive. I think I overheard mom telling dad to rake tomorrow... or else...

Or else what, do you think? These humans and they're language. It is so incomplete sometimes.

lordy, she should spend the $100 bucks

I can't believe Mommy is going cheap on us. Instead of having us professionally groomed, she decides to do it herself. As of yesterday, things didn't look too bad.
So I'm a bit uneven, but I'm feel cooler. However, I witnessed what she did to East tonight. It's not looking good for either one of us. Oh, maybe I'll have to find a job to pay for my own haircut.

the pink boa was worth it

I can't say I was pleased when Mommy put the pink boa on me. It looked ridiculous, even on East. We arrived at this event Mom and Aunt Brooke calls The Dyke March, and boy, I thought I was in doggy heaven! Thousands of women baby-talked to me, pet me, blew kisses at me, took my picture, and some tried to give me food (but Mommy stopped them). Aunt Brooke is in the photo. She looked like a movie star, and she and Mommy had so much fun with us. I'd never been to San Francisco before. Those hills are tiring!

they're not so bad...

Okay, I admit it. My parents are great. They went away this past weekend. I knew something was not right. I can tell by certain behaviors mommy and daddy display before they disappear for more than a day. Mommy does more than 3 loads of laundry a day. She over-waters the garden. She gives us extra bones. And daddy. He's an easy read. He moves all kinds of stuff from the storage shed to the garage. When they return, these things are back in the shed again.

I would be mad about their disappearance, but I really missed them. I'm just happy they are home. And you can tell they missed us as well.

We had great sitters though. Rich and Keith. They're great because they play with us all day. And they feed us exactly what Mommy feeds us, but they give us more bones. However, I am very confused. Which one is alpha female?

i'm not happy

I am writing a list of complaints to submit it as an official notice to Mommy and Daddy. They think my running across the street independently was bad? If they do not respond favorably to this list, they are not going to be happy with what I have to say or possibly do. Strike? No, that doesn't work since I do not labor. Hunger strike? No, that won't work because East loves food. Retaliate? Yes, that should do it.

1. Feeding time is 7am. What makes Mommy think 11am is acceptable??
2. Bones everyday. Five days without bones. That is abuse.
3. A walk everyday. Every 3 days is absolutely unacceptable.
4. I demand raw meat in my meals. Holding out still works, but it's not fun.
5. I am alpha. I have the rights to the couch. Reconsider this policy, please.
6. I should not have to sit when *you* want me to. If I'm tired, I sit.
7. I should be scratched at least 3 hours a day. It can be in smaller time frames.
8. No vegetables. Didn't they read that we can't digest vegetables? Stop it.
9. We want a girl to play with.
10. I should have access rights to all rooms in the house, including closets.
11. Rights to review the will. I want to make sure the Porscheis left to me.

I think this should do it for now. I'll have to revisit when I think of more.

fellows, holding out really works

Today mommy tried to sneak us beans again. I don't know why she is so stubborn. Twice before we ate everything and left the beans behind. Yet, she tries again. This time, we didn't touch anything. And guess what? She made daddy come out with huge steaks for us. Man! They're easy.

i'm comtemplating hunger strike

There must be a relationship between who feeds us, when they feed us, and what we get fed with. I haven't quite determined the schedule yet, but soon. Today, Daddy did it again. We got these dry food things to eat. Tastes like dirt, if you ask me. Of course, we're not going to eat it unless we are desperate. Even the bay tree tastes a lot better. I held out. Left my bowl full. And it worked. Daddy came back later and gave us lots of raw chicken. That's more like it.

Hmmm. East worries me.

I observed East today. He's really into she humans. I have never seen him favor anything over his food, but today, he followed Mommy's lady friends around all night. Sure, those girls are cute. But please. Over food??? And over Mommy??? And over me??? This is alarming, indeed. I'm afraid he may run away with the first burglar, especially if the burglar is a she human. That worries me.

corn on the cob

East will eat anything. They gave me this thing that looks like a toy. Yellow with lots of bumps on it. Mommy even took a bite to show me it is okay to eat. WhatEVER. It's disgusting. East can have mine. I won't even fight for it this time.

the ocean, what's the big deal?

What's all the hoopla about the ocean? Mommy and Daddy took us to the beach today, where dogs can run around without leashes. The beach was pretty cool, until this little chihuahua chewed on East's nose. It got all those humans worked up, this little event. Anyhow, back to what I was talking about. I kinda like getting my feet wet, but I'm not sure swimming is all that fun. I wanted to play with other dogs, but my folks kept chasing me when I run off to play. That was bogus! And you know what? East, he started drinking that salty tasting water. I tried to tell him to stop, but he did it anyway. And how, he's got serious stomach issues. Let's put it this way... I'm staying the heck away from him. Poo-ey!