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Zig's house

What is this thing?

There's something odd looking running around my house. It's little. And fluffy. It kind of looks like a kitty, but it smells like a doggy, but it sounds like my squeaky toys. I'm very confused. I think I like it. I think it can stay. So fay I've only had to growl at it once, when it tried to bite my tail. And when it squeaked in my face. It was quite rude and I had to growl at it. But I think I could like it, this new fluffy thing. Mom keeps calling it my "sister". I don't know what that means. It just better not eat my food or take my spot on the bed. We'll all get along just fine if it follows the food and bed rules.

My morning routine...

At approximately 2am I have to potty. I silently jump off the bed, trot outside thru my special doggy door in the kitchen, and do my business. (Gosh it's cold!) Once finished I come back into the bedroom where I ask to be let back onto the bed...

Grooowlll...grunt..grunt..groowwwwllll...grunt...o omph.

Mom & Dad ignore me knowing full well that I am completely capable of jumping up onto the bed myself but this is so much easier and shouldn't we all be involved? I scoot my rear end over to the wall and add a thumping tail to the alarm...

Growwwlll....thwap! thwap! thunk! thunk! thwap!...grrrr....arrrr...grunt... thwap!

Mom is awake now, and she calls me something not nice. Dad stumbles into standing position and lifts me up onto the bed. Attempting to get one up on the humans I plop directly onto Dad's pillows. Dad sighs. Mom snaps fingers and points to end of bed. I start to go...only it looks so much warmer and nicer UNDER the sheets, so I attempt to shove my blockhead under the covers. Mom grabs me in headlock and wrestles me out of sheets while holding up my special blankie thereby tricking me into going under that one. I go, do a big sigh, Mom does a big sigh, Dad starts snoring, I start snoring...

At approximately 5am I have to go potty...

A Dog's Christmas Carol

A Dogs Christmas Carol
(sung to the tune of Winter Wonderland)


"Dog tags ring, are you listening'?
In the lane, snow is glistenin'.
It's yellow, NOT white I've been there tonight,
Marking up my winter wonderland.

Smell that tree? That's my fragrance.
It's a sign for wandering vagrants;
Avoid where I pee, it's MY pro-per-ty!
Marked up as my winter wonderland.

In the meadow dad will build a snowman,
following the classical design.
Then I'll lift my leg and let it go Man,
So all the world will know that it's
mine-mine-mine!

Straight from me to the fence post,
flows my natural incense boast;
Stay off my TURF, this small piece of earth,
I marked it as my winter wonderland."

-Bill Thacker

MERRY DOGMAS EVERYPUP!!