Playin' Aboot!

Here's how it works, you have to list 7 things about yourself, then Tag 7 friends whom you list in the diary. PM those friends to let them know they were tagged and to read your diary if they want to play.

1. I love wake mummy up by standing over her and snorting in her face!
2. I love walkies at my two favourite parks!! Yay!! Zoomies!
3. I hate having my nails done, and try to run away whenever I see the signs that a pedicure is imminent. :(
4. I hate men and people in dark coats. I just sit there and shake. I also hate those long stick thingies that people use to throw balls with. Ggggrrrrrrr!!
5. I love laundry day, cuz the smells of the detergent make me go nuts!
6. My two favourite treats are peanut butter and cheese, but I'm actually quite a wee pig and will eat A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G!
7. I know how to say "mama"!

Live Long & Bark Strong,
Dylan

I tagged: Hannah, Cirus, Oscar, Mateus, Xena, Heffner and Scooby

Got a New Girl!

Hiyo boy-os!

Ahm flyin' high the noo! Mummy took me oan walkies thedae and ah met a new girl an' ah think she lurves me! She's called Mags, an' she's a little short and fat, but ah always did like a lil meat wit mah potatoes, if ye know what ah mean! She's a Bulldog and because o that, she cannae dae too much exercizin, but that suits me fine, cuz ah'd rather jist walk roon and sniff stuff wae her!

She rilly brought me oot mah shell, cuz since mah girl Katie went away tae Spain, ah couldnae be bothered wae too much walkies, an aww ah did when we went was look roon the park fer mah Katie! She's a Lurcher and man, is she FAST! She's a sassy wee thing too. Ah think she's jealous that other bitches might take a likin' tae me. She was always pickin' fights! We did do a bit o' the ole "chew-oan-mah-face", but she never went fer me er nuttin! She's the kinda bird that can git ye locked up wae no possibility of chicken for a whole nicht! So yeah, ah think it was time fer me tae be movin' oan. Perhaps Spain is the best thing fer her the noo.

Before that, it was a bit o' internet romance. Now ah know whit yer thinkin... Cyberspace? Me??!!!? Yep, ah dabbled in it fer a minute. First there was Hannah. She had legs a mile long and was intae dressin' up! She had these stripey knickers an' rooo-roooo-roooooo.... they made mah heid spin! But she only goat tae wear 'em during her "naughty times" sos she never messed up her ma's sofas an' carpets... But boy did she look HOT in 'em! Anyway, she fell out wae me an' started sniffin' after a big city bloke fae Chicago called Java. He was bigger den me an' real handsome an' sofisticated, so ah let her go wae mah dignity still in tact.

Then there was mah girl Bella. Big dark eyes, friendly smile, lots o' good toys, lives up in the mountains o' West Virginia... Perfect place tae call mah home. Ah thought aboot it, but she had too much "star quality" fer me. Always posing fer piccies and wearin' all this fine jewelry and runnin aboot mad. An' ah think she's already goat a man. A wee short guy called Truman. He shouts a lot, too... So ah think he might be one o' those control freaks. Too much drama fer me. Although ah still think aboot her alot. And she told me her ma sings real pritty like. Wish ah coulda heard that.

Och... oh well. Ah still love all of 'em. *Sendin' kisses fer all mah bitches.* Past an' present!

It's Been a Looooooong Time, no?

Ahm OK, I jist been swayin' and playin'. Rockin' & rollin' and whatnot! I have been such a naughty boy lately! I dinnae know how, ah jist cannae hep mahsell!!

Yesterdae when mah Da left me in the hoose, I went nuts and ATE his favourite magazine and threw aboot the bits an pieces! All o're the sittin' room! Yes!! Score one fer the Pickle!!

Then, I goat the itch thedae too! I munched an entire roll of kitchen towel. I guess I goat happy to see the Scooby Doo piccies all o're it and I couldnae keep mah teeth ootae it!

Mummy goat hame fae workin and she was scunnered wae me o're it fer a whole HOUR! Ahm gonnae try tae be a better boy fae noo oan, but I cannae promise anythin!

Not Fer the Faint of Heart

The dae was a complete and utter heap o' kwap! It started out nice enough... The usual... you know, belly rubs and "mummy and daddy love you so much" and "oh yer such a good boy" and aw that. Yada, yada, yada, right?

Then when we goat oot the bed, I saw the big basket wae a pile o' pants and socks that mummy was gonnae wash the dae. Ahm very skeered o' this basket, cuz when the stuff in it plays wae me, mummy get's mad at it, so I thought that stuff must be BAAAAD news! So I stay clear away fae it! I usually hurry past, but this time ah gave it the evil eye, jist sose it knew who was boss!! I barked at it tae and told it "dinny trifle wae ME, ya mug, ya!" It stayed there. Just like aw namby-pamby, jessy, baskets full o' naughties do.

Roon aboot lunch time, I started tae feel yucky. Mah tummy was upset and ah jist wanted tae lay aroon. Mummy tried tae play wae me and gave me some treats and stuff, the usual things to perk me back up... But ah was havin' none ae it!

Then aw of a sudden, I feels a familiar rumbly in mah tumbly... So I goes over to mah "spot" and assumes the position. Well.... I pushed and ah pushed, but nothing happened. SO I started tae greet. Mummy came and talked tae me and tried tae get the bad thing awee, but it wouldnae GO! I pushed some mair, then walked in some circles... Nothin! Mummy rubbed mah back and talked tae me, then oot it came!! I squeeled rilly loud! But jist fer good effect. Ahm no normally a cry baby, but I thought mebee a bit ae drama wid git me aw the good treats after!

I turned roon and that's when I clapped mah eyes oan it! It was a S O C K!! I KNEW it!! A pink an blue stripey wan! I jist KNEW that basket was full 'o nasties oot tae git me! Mummy got real worried and cawed everywan under the sun and told them aboot the Attack of the Stripey Sock. She even cawd the crazy eyed lady. HELP MA BOAB!! No her! PLEEEEASE!

Jings! Crivens! Help Mah BOAB!

OK, the day started oot wae a nice big loada belly rubs, then when I was satisfied wae the rubbing of mah belly, I went oot intae the hall and did a nice big poo... Always a crowd pleaser.

Then even before I got mah grub, mah mummy took me tae the scary place where the lady wae crazy eyes is. She grabbed me roon the heid and looked in mah ears, pulled at mah wee feets, and then she did the unTHINKable. She grabbed me behind my tail... Yes, I mean THERE! My precious boy bits!! I was V I O L A T E D! And mah mummy and daddy just stood there talking like nobdee was dain' nothing wrang!

It all deteriorated fae there. It was then that the crazy eyed lady (who mummy calls Dr. Macdonald) stuck a sharp pointy thing IN MAH NECK! As if that was no bad enough, she put something in mah wee puppy bum. IN MAH BUM! Then she LOOKED at it! Disgusting crazy eyed lady!

Then, it all seemed OK... I got a yummy treat. Tasted like chicken. Mmmm... Blood pressure returning to normal... Pulse slowing back doon... I hear mah mummy's lovely voice... Then the crazy lady says that "treat" was no treat AT ALL! It was for worms. WORMS!!! Do I look like a worm to YOU??!?!! Humans are utter eejits!

Then it was finally time tae go. Goodbye my arch nemesis! Eeewww... *S-h-u-d-d-e-r* That place makes me want to bite things! Maybe once we get in the car I'll bite mah paws oaf. Wait! No paws = no walkies. Ix-nay on the iting-bay.

My Humble Gift

I was SUCH a clever boy the day! You'd be so proud of me! Here's how it all went doon...

While mummy was on the computer and the telephone talking wae mah Gran, I decided that I would show her how very much I love her by giving her a nice big gift. So I went into the reception hall like a good lad and made a BIG poo all over the place. This always makes mummy SO happy, and today was no exception. You should have heard her squeel wae delight!

Then she picked it all up and took it away. She probably wanted to hide it from Daddy so he couldn't take any from her. Sometimes mummy can be so selfish with my poo, the cheeky bisem. Then she took it into the little room with the big white water bowl and put it IN! I was upset about this, since I knew that my daddy would appreciate some as well.

So while mummy was hiding her present, I selflessly made another one for daddy. Right in his office... Under his desk... Just where he puts his feets.

I cannae WAIT till he gets hame!

Rules & Regulations

If I like it, it's MINE.
If it's in my mouth, it's MINE.
If I had it a while ago, it's MINE.
If it looks like mine, it's MINE.
If it's mine, it must NEVER be yours.
If I saw it first, it's MINE.
If you have something and put it down, it's MINE.
If I chew something up, ALL of the pieces are MINE.
If it used to be yours, GET OVER IT!
If it's broken, it's yours!



(Ah didnae write this, but ah saw it and thought ah would adopt it tae show ye how much of a bossy bugger ah really am.)

Lovely Jubbly

Hiya! I'm Dylan. I was named after Dylan Thomas the Welsh poet (if you ask my Mummy) or if you ask mah Da, I was named for Bob Dylan. These two arguing aboot it does ma boax in, though!

Anyway, on wae the show. Ahm 11 weeks old and ahm such a happy wee chappy! Life's a dream now that I have sumbdy who loves me. Mah ma took me tae the park yesterday and I walked like such a gentleman. I want to run, run, RUN, but mah ma kept sayin "take it easy." I think she is worried because I have so much growing left tae dae, and somethin aboot mah "growth plates"... Aye, whatever, ma!

My paws are SO big, sometimes I trip over them. Mah ma calls 'em "muffin feets" and says "dinny worry, wee one, yull grow intae 'em". And I still hav'nae got the hang of how to work mah legs yet. I am floppy and bouncy and fall a lot. It doesnae hurt unless I bump mahsell roon the heid, then I yelp and shake it off sose I can maintain my tough guy image. Ahm a great dane, no a wee chihuahua, for dog's cake!!