Real Dachshunds Have Curves (Really They Do!)

Mom and dad just got back in town and picked us up from our grampa's house. Grampa Ted is more lenient so we had all kinds of good fun. Someone even pooped in the house! I didn't actually see my brother Oscar do it, but _I_ certainly didn't do that and no one else was owning up to it either. We also got more food to eat cuz grampa leaves food out for everybody. Mom and dad only put out food at meal times :( We ate and ate and ate. Of course I only let Oscar near the bowl when I was too stuffed to continue eating at that particular moment. As soon as we got home mom put us directly into the tub from the front door and we got welcome back home baths. Sure feels good to be nice and clean, but getting dried off is a pain. After we rubbed ourselves silly on the rug, we went over and made pitiful hungry faces at mom. She looked at us and said Ha! You both look quite a bit rounder since dad and I have been away so no extra snacks for you! See how we suffer? First we get left behind (even if it was fun) and then we get abused. Next Saturday we are being made to go to the dog park and socialize with other weenies at our 2nd dachshund meetup group. Life sure is terrible!

P.S. Later in the evening mom noticed that I was being all quiet and mopey. She asked me to come cuddle with her and Oscar, but I kept trying to get away. When I started making 'yarfy' (ralphing) noises I dove off the couch just in the nick of time! First I yarfed up a big pile of undigested kibble. Then I moved over a little and yarfed up a little pile of kibble. Next I yarfed right in the walkway space between the loveseat and couch. Then I ran down the hallway and yarfed from the OTHER end. Yep THAT end. Then I ran back toward dad's desk and yarfed again from THAT end (I am a daddy's girl afterall!). Finally circled behind the couch and did one last yarf from THAT end. Dad decided this might be a good time to go outside. When I got back in mom huggled me and gave me a TINY piece of a cookie (what is that about?!). When mom turned me over she found a nasty little tick, which grossed her out. She's always the one to take care of my icky emergencies `cuz dad always heads in the opposite direction at these times. Mom has pulled a much bigger tick before with no problems, but this one was red and blotchy right around the bite site. Hope that doesn't mean anything bad. Mom says she's going to research it just to be sure. After pulling my tick, she cleaned out the bite with hydrogen peroxide making sure to get all of the head out. Then she put some Neosporin on it and huggled me some more while I got to eat the rest of the cookie. Can't believe what I have to do just to get a cookie around here. I think I'm going to see if I can find a place with cooler roommates or something. Oh the injustice! Oh the indogity!

Farewell Sweet, Sweet Chewy :(

We got some terrible news yesterday: my cousin Bailey was attacked by a snake and, despite 24 hours of intense medical care, passed away. I can't believe it. My grampa put up an invisible fence to keep my extended family safe from cars and keep out trespassers, but this sly snake snuck in anyway. We got an email saying that "he wagged his tail at us when we were transferring him to the other vet [yesterday] morning" and he climbed onto his grampa's lap so he "could look out the window and feel the wind on his face." This makes me very sad.

I have to tell you what a neat weenie Bailey was. First of all, he is one of the most laid back, gentle doxies ever-even when he was a little pup. He has beautiful light green eyes and a super soft, warm-cinnamon colored long-hair coat. He has these huge 'muffin' feet that have tufts of hair poking out between his toes and his cocoa-pink nose rounds out his soulful expression. He grew to be a big boy-long and tall. He loved to play, but would turn into jello in your arms. He was equally content frolicking with friends or relaxing in a sunny spot. He was never grumpy or selfish and always had plenty of kisses for everyone. My mom and dad liked to call him 'Bear' and 'Chewy' cuz he looks like a big wookie. We will all miss him very much.

Adios Alberto!

Ugh. It's been rainy and wet the past couple days. I _hate_ going outside when it's wet. I don't want to play, I don't want to pee, I don't even want to sit by the door. Mom and dad are so mean. They keep taking me outside when it's soggy out; sometimes even when it's raining! I don't get it, I mean, mom and dad don't even seem to like going out when it's rainy. Since they make me go out when it's wet I like to walk in the middle of the road instead of in the grass. That way I don't get so bored. Mom and dad keep trying to make me go back to the grass; jeez, it's not like I'm gonna pee or do my business. Guess I'll just stick to trying to walk down the middle of the road with my brother Oscar until we get taken back inside and then (eek!) attacked by that scratchy towel. Why do I need to get dried off when I can just go roll around on the carpet and then on the sofa? When I get rolled over onto my back, I get my belly and paws rubbed off with that towel. I hate that too so I roll around and snort and wiggle and squirm so mom and dad will stop with the towel already.

This afternoon it was finally a little drier, but boy was it hot! I'm not going out in that heat. Don't mom and dad know how much I hate it when it's this hot outside? I don't want to go out...

Vacation at the Beach

Doggone it! My family and I just got back from St. Augustine beach--boy was that fun! In addition to a whole new place to smell and explore, my brother Oscar and I got to bounce through the thick grass and chase bunnies. Mom got us orange Fido Float jackets and took us into the ocean, but they were a little too big and we got scared and got our paws stuck inside the mesh underlining. That was plenty of swimming for me. We got to take lots of sniffy walks on the sand where I had to examine each and every shell. Dad threw our red bouncy ball and we splashed around in the water. We also met lots of furry cousins on our walks and also these exciting seagulls. After each walk we got sprayed down with cold water; that part wasn't so great. The first day on the beach I didn't feel so great because I ate/inhaled lots of sand. Dad calls me a 'lowrider' because my legs are shorter than Oscar's and my belly always gets covered in mud/water/sand when we go out. I'm not sure if it's because we were at the beach, but we got to try some new treats like chicken jerky, which Mom thought about trying because it smelled so good and was made from people-grade chicken breast and spices. When we were at the store Dad said we didn't need so many treats and Mom sadly put away the Pupcorn. I've never heard of that before. On our last day, we all got up early to watch the sunrise. I don't know what the big deal is though, there wasn't any food there. We all had breakfast and then we got in the car to go to another beach. Mom and Dad were looking at shells and sharks teeth. Oscar and I thought that was kinda boring so we snacked on dried up sea creature carcasses MMMMmm! We had to chomp `em quickly or else we were made to spit them out :o( Mom pried my mouth open once and dug one of my snacks out of my mouth, looked at it and said 'eww' and then tossed it away. I slept the whole car ride back, which made me tired. Now that we are back home I can finally take a nap.