The Z Files

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Celery

September 18th 2013 4:55 pm
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Celery is gross. Tastes nasty. I have no idea why Tux ate sum when Mommy handed us both sum. But just 'cause I didn't eat My celery, I wasn't 'bout to let Tux have it. Tux took his celery into the livin room to eat in peace. I kept mine in front of me on the kitchen floor. Tux came back. Mommy tried scootin My celery over to Tux for him to eat.
My celery! I grabbed it back to keep in front of me.
She did that several times. Each time I grabbed My celery back.

She picked up My celery and gave it to Tux.
He'll eat anything.

Celery. It's gross. I don't recommend it. But don't let anyone else have Yours.

 

That trespasser? He's back!

September 16th 2013 9:06 am
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That tall, lanky brown dog I barked at? The one in My front yard?

He's back. He's been out there for a long time! Me and Tux have been barkin him up and he's still out there! Argh!

Lemme tell ya 'bout it.

We saw that tall, lanky brown dog and his bike ridin lady go by this mornin. Didn't see them both come back. Only the tall, lanky brown dog came by.

Ut-oh, hold on, Two ladies and 2 dogs are goin by.
BARKBARKBARK!!!!!
Oh! Tall, lanky brown dog is playin with the yellow lab dog. Now tall, lanky dog is happily followin the ladies and dogs. Neither are his lady.

Lemme back up and finish my story.

So when Mommy heard us barkin, she looked out to see what the ruckus was. She saw the tall, lanky brown dog but no bike rider lady. The TLB looked kinda lost. He was lookin down the road. Mommy went out to see if his name and number was on his tag. No tag. Just a nice collar and a flea collar.
Mommy looked in the road for the bike rider lady. No lady. She waited with the TLB. They kept waitin. And waitin. She stayed in the front yard and Tux and I Eventually quit barkin. Unless that TLB came 'round where we could see him. 'Course, then we barked him up.
Mommy wonders if he got to snoopin while on the bike ride. He is all wet, probly from runnin through tall grass or a field. She has no idea where he belongs or why the lady hasn't come by lookin for him. But he is a nice boy. For now, he is welcome to stay in the front yard while he waits for his lady. Mommy showed him where a water dish is.

Oh, and he came back from his frolic with the 2 ladies walkin with their dogs.
He's on our front door step.

What am I to think of this deal? How can I do my security work when Mommy is out there smoozin with the enemy?
Gah!

 

Trespasser!

September 14th 2013 9:44 am
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My yard was trespassed on last evenin!

Lemme tell ya 'bout it.

The peepoles were eatin their home made pizza for supper. Not givin us dogs anything of course.
Then we heard sumfin outside. Let us out now!

There was a lady ridin a bike and tall, lanky brown dog runnin 'long aside her. She was headin down the lil lane where the irrigation pipe mover guys drive and park. Me and Tux run over to the back fence and barked them on down that lil lane.

We stayed out there, keepin watch. The peepoles went back to their pizza.

Then that lady on her bike and the tall, lanky brown dog came back. She turned that way on the road, the dog turned the other way.

He came into My front yard! He came right up to My fence! Yeah, the fence Me and Tux were barkin up a MEAN storm.

RED ALERT! STRANGER DANGER! CALL OUT THE NATIONAL GUARD!

Daddy hollered out the window for the dog to get lost. The lady was out in the road hollerin for the tall, lanky dog to "come on". He finally did. Follow her.
We sure let him know he wasn't welcome 'round our place.

And don'tcha come back no more, no more!


Mommy says we just aren't socialized.
Too bad.

 

We have a Winner!

September 8th 2013 7:18 am
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I was gonna run this contest deal for a couple o' days but we have a winner!

Milton guessed that Mommy and Daddy counted 7 of those man deers on My Cowlorado farm!
Congrats to Milton!

Lemme tell ya, those deers are the talk of the neighborhood down there. All the peepoles are enjoyin havin those deer neighbors.

I can't wait 'til I get to bark up those deers!

Thanks for playin in my lil contest. And Congrats again to our winner Milton!

 

A Contest for You!

September 7th 2013 8:39 am
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Ok, so you pups know that Mommy and Daddy went to My farm in Cowlorado. It was over Labor Day and Mommy says they sure did that. They cleaned out the old shack where the gramma and grampa lived. They took loads of stuff to the dump and the salvage yard and Daddy even burneded sum of the junk.
Anywho. They sleeped in our camp trailer deal. Daddy set it all up nice under sum shade trees. Next to one of the cow pasture places. And the old barn.
Now there was deer neighbors there. They wander 'round the neighborhood munchin on apples and other fruit tree yummies. They aren't too skeered of peepoles.
Mommy and Daddy saw several lady deers otherwise known as does.
There were a few smaller deers, fawns, but they didn't have the spots on their backs. They had grown outta those.
And then there were a gang of man deers, othewise known as bucks.
They would stroll around the place, even snoozin in a lean-to on the old barn. There were sum big guys. One of them had his antlers growin way up in the air. Mommy called him Tallman. The big guys would snoop out the area first, followed by guys with smaller antlers. Then there would be the younger guys, spikes bringin up the rear.

Now here is where my contest comes in. One mornin Mommy and Daddy counted a bunch of the guys, bucks and spikes. They hung out in a man pack.
What I wanna know is:
How many of the guy deers did Mommy and Daddy see that one mornin?

Take your guess. One guess per pup please. The contest will run for a few days.
I will send a rosette to the pup who guesses the correct number!
I'll even give you a hint. The number is less than 20.

Take a guess!

 

They're back!

September 5th 2013 6:13 am
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You've never seen 2 more happy dogs than when Sissor let us out last evenin and Mommy and Daddy were pullin the drive!

Major Zoomie time, lemme tell ya! Mommy even told me she missed me! And that I look skinny!
See Sissor, you didn't feed me enough stuff!

Anywho, Mommy said they worked and got sweaty and stinky and could only take lil short showers in the camper trailer.
There is a big pile laundry that Mommy started workin on right away.
I gotta snoopervise that so I will bark in more later.

We are even thinkin up a lil contest for you pups 'bout sumfin at my Cowlorado farm.
More on that later!

 

Trapped!

September 2nd 2013 11:56 am
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Trapped. Trapped in my own home! Lemme tell you 'bout it.

Coupla days ago, Scissor was watering the grass in the backyard. I don't know what the big deal is, but she was so concerned about getting Every Little Spot watered. So, she set up a big ol' sprinkler so it was spraying all over one of my Bark Spots. But that wasn't enough for her! She also put one so it was shooting water on the back steps, so Tux and me couldn't even get to the yard! She left it there for hours, too. She kept trying to trick us into getting of the steps. She'd say in her excited voice, "Go on, pups! Now, while the sprinkler is facing the other direction. Go, go, go!" But I wasn't fooled! Nuh-uh, Scissor. No way I'm going out there to get my cute lil self all sprinkled on. Fiiinallyyy she moved it and I was able to get out. Man, I had to pee bad, and catch up on barking!

Aside from that, it's been pretty boring here. I bark at stuff, Scissor yells at me. I go outside, I come inside. I'm not getting nearly enough treats, but I'm sure Mother will make up for that when she gets back!

 

Don't worry, I'll keep barkin!

August 28th 2013 2:14 pm
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But Mommy and Daddy are leavin for My farm tomorrow. Right now, my farm don't have internet. Heck, it don't have 'lectricity or runnin water.
They will be campin in our lil camper for most of the nights. That is where they can cook and potty and stuff.
But they will stay in a couple of motel places and maybe Mommy can sneak on Dogster then. And Maybe, just Maybe I can con Sissor into typin for me to let you pups know I am doin alright. *If* I Am doin alright.

The worst part is I won't be readin your diary entries and commentin an' stuff. I'll miss you pups!

But, I'll be here. Barkin. You can count on that!

 

RED ALERT!

August 27th 2013 7:40 am
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COW!!
In My front yard! Need help here Peepoles! Can't get outta the back yard to chase the cow outta the front yard!

Yep, last evenin that was what happened at My place. Me and Tux was outside in our yard. We sent up serious Red Alert barkin. This Red Alert barkin sounds different than the usual school bus goin by or lil men movin irrigation pipe or sumfin like that.
I mean - There Was A Cow In My Front Yard! Holy poop! That calls for all out mega barkin!

So Daddy came out to see what the ruckus was. He started hollerin for the cow to get outta there. The cow went over there Away from our driveway.
No, cow, No!

Then I saw Mommy clappin her hands tellin Bossy to leave our yard. She clapped that cow outta our driveway. Mommy musta gone out the front door. Then Sissor came out to help Mommy close our gate so's that cow couldn't come back.

Meanwhile, I dug my dum phone outta my secret pocket. :-). I called the sheriff. Told him to come put the cow back where she belonged. He said, "Thanks Zoe for lettin me know. I'll be right there."
That's what he did. We barked at him while he put the cow back into her pasture. :-)

It is great to be Me here in my lil corner of Idunno!

 

Happy Birthday. Now what'd you get me?

August 26th 2013 7:56 am
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Yeah, Happy Birthday to my human Sissor. And you pups that have heard me bark 'bout her know she didn't get me nuthin. Shoot, maybe I should give her sum pocket lint. Anywho, have a furtastic birthday, Sissor! Really. I am bein sincere here.
I gotta be nice to her. I found out that Mommy and Daddy are gonna be leavin. Sissor is gonna pet-sit on us while they are gone. They are goin to My farm in Colorado. It's a quick trip, otherwise Mommy would like to drive down to visit with those pawsome pups:
Coco Rose and
Puff
That will have to be another time. Another trip when they have more time without havin so much scheduled to get done.
You pups 'member that when Daddy gets toadally tired from his job in a couple days or years, we are all gonna move to My farm in Colorado? The place needs Lots of cleanin up and it needs a house with a bathroom and it needs a fenced yard for us to keep safe from the critters that would like to eat us. It needs sum other stuff that I need to let Mommy and Daddy take care of afore I move there.
So I will stay home, takin care of stuff from OP Zoe. And I need to make a to-do list for Sissor. You know, so's she knows to feed me a ton of food lots of times a day. And to give me Great Big cookies efurrytime I go out and then come in. Not the lil crums that Mommy gives us. And I think Sissor should take me for a ride and get me a kiddie cone at the drive-in place. And a strawberry shake. And a burger. And fries! I don't think she knows 'bout the whole pantiesaretigthus tummy ache thing that we get from eatin greasy foods. Don't tell her!

Like I said, I need to be nice to Sissor. I may even let her write me a diary entry or two.

Happy Birthday Sissor.

 
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