February 2nd 2013 12:07 pm
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But since I know you pals won't bark a word of this I'll tell ya 'bout it.
I messed up with my security work.
Lemme tell ya 'bout it.
Daddy left last night when it was already dark time. Mommy don't go nowhere That late, 'cause she'll turn into a pupkin or sumfin. So anywhos, we stayed home with Mommy.
When Daddy did get home, I was super duper 'xcited! I went toadally goofy. I was arrooin at him. I was runnin 'round the livin room. I was bouncin offa the couch and his big recliner chair (the one I gave him for Father's Day once upon a time). Good times!
Then Mommy started gettin ready to go to bed. I was back there 'cause Mommy and Daddy were yakkin at each other and I wanted to be with Daddy. They were laughin at me on account a because I was bein so cute and funny.
Daddy went down the hall.
He started talkin to Sissor.
No one barked at her. No one even heard her come in the back door.
I am so ashamed that I didn't even hear her come in. And where was Tux? He is my backup barker. No barks.
Wait, Sissor is all into science fiction stuff. She is even takin a class on the SF junk.
She came in with a transporter beam. Those only makes lil tinklin noises when they move a peepoles from one spot to another.
That's it. A transporter beam.
My rep as top security dog is saved. Right? You guys won't let this get out will you?
January 31st 2013 10:15 am
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My pawrents are so weird. Lemme tell ya 'bout it.
They was sittin 'round eatin their dinner. Sure smelled good. Roast Beast Meatz™ it was.
'Course I didn't get any of it. The ol' "you'll get pantiesrtightus, Zoe". I'm beginnin to think that is a lame 'xcuse and they are just bein selfish. They tell me that when they are eatin salad. Humph.
Anyways, they was almost done eatin when they both said, "there it goes."
Mommy started puttin the dishes in the dishwasher to "protect them". Daddy started fishin out sum flashlights. Then Mommy got out a couple of candles.
It started to get dark but my pawrents just sat there, talkin, in the dark. Us pups went outside and nobudy turned on the porch light for us.
Uh, peepoles, turn on sum lights.
Daddy liked playin with the different flashlights. Mommy had to blow out the candles 'cause the lil kitten cat was fas-in-a-ted by the light and Mommy told the kitten that she would get her whiskers sizzled off.
This continued on for hours and hours. Jus' sittin in the dark, well, with the flashlight shinin it's weird kinda blue light.
They weren't watchin TV. They weren't usin their laptops.
It was truly borin.
We all went to bed early last night. Even earlier than normal.
And then it got weirder. Right after they turned off the flashlights and I got covered up, they said, "there it is!"
Then they got up outta bed. Went 'round checkin stuff. Mommy made the coffee for in the mornin. Washed sum of the dishes. Flushed the toilets.
Then we went back to bed.
Such a weird family.
January 30th 2013 3:12 pm
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Peepoles got their traffic reports. The weather report. The ski report.
I'm gonna give ya My Trail Report.
Lot's goin on out there the past couple days. Sum of the trails got covered over by driftin snow. Daddy shoveled them out. He even made a couple new trails.
They got covered over. He shoveled them out again.
Today the trails are either gettin covered over again or meltin. Depends on the direction the trails run. The trails that are meltin are all the way down to the brown grass. Makes Mommy so happy when we come in and track brown pieces of grass all over the place. Gives her sumfin to do cleanin up the stuff.
The wind is blowin and the Chicken Culdesac is covered up again. We still plow through there. It's fun!
Daddy's gonna haveta get out there 'gain and clear out the trails.
January 28th 2013 7:18 am
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We had snow and wind. Zoe Boulevard was gettin filled in. In fact, with all the new white stuff blowin 'round, it was hard to see any of our coolio trails that Daddy had shoveled for Me.
Yeserday, he got busy re-shovelin. We even got a couple new trails. One, Lilac Lane has been expanded. Now we just needta get offa the patio and take Lilac Lane over to the fence. It's a short deal, but the boys love to pee on the lilac.
Then, and this is Good, Daddy shoveled over there along the fence, behind the lilacs and sum other kinda shrubs so's I don't haveta plow through all the drifts if I needta bark at the deers.
And we got 'nother short trail to connect Tux Trail and Drover Drive.
I'd have Mommy take sum pictures to post on my page but the picture poster part of Dogster has sum major flea problems. And my captions haven't come back yet either. We are barkin to the Techno Dog 'bout it though.
Stay warm, dry and safe whereevfur you are.
And congrats to Pepper for havin the honor of Dog of the Week!
January 24th 2013 7:41 am
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I do love to bark at the deer neighbors. 'Course, I love to bark at anything.
The deer sleep in 'mongst the trees in the river bottom. They come out in the mornin to look for eats in the wheat fields and stuff.
My place is in their way from their comin and goin.
I bark at them. Comin and goin.
Last evenin there were a couple of those durn deer Right Over There. Just on the other side of My fence. Of course, I had to bark them away.
Problem was, Daddy hadn't shoveled a path over there on that side of the yard. Over there between some lilacs and other shrubs and the fence.
I had to plow through 'bout ten, no, make that hunnerd, foots of snow drifts.
If you don't think that takes talent to bark and plow si-mo-ta-nee-us-lee, then you needta think again.
I better ask Daddy to get to shovelin sum more. For me, his cute lil Schnauzer grrl.
January 21st 2013 12:13 pm
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'Member I barked 'bout Daddy shovelin a bunch of trails all over the backyard?
They are really comin in handy for us to run 'round on, wander and sniff and poop and pee.
We are usin them so much Mommy and Daddy decided to give the trails names.
When you come out the backdoor and down the steps, you can go left or right to cruise along the fence.
That is the longest path and most important for security work.
It is called Zoe Boulevard.
Now if you take a left at the bottom of the stairs onto Zoe Boulevard, you can then hang a right to get to Poop Place Park. It is a large open area to, well, poop.
We have Drover Drive. It kinda meanders 'round.
Then there is Tux Trail and that will take you out to Chicken Cul de sac.
If you take a right at the bottom of the stairs, Zoe Boulevard turns into Lilac Lane. Doesn't that sound nice? It has a poop pullout too.
I think Daddy should build sum road signs and maybe even put up sum traffic lights. If I wore clothes and junk I could be the traffic control dog. And give the other pets tickets. They could pay me in cookies.
January 19th 2013 1:02 pm
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It is still cold 'round my place. But that doesn't stop us from bein outside and providin security.
And even though it is still cold, the eye doctor jogger man and his big chocolate lab went past while we were outside early this mornin.
All 3 of us saw them comin along the road. Oh yeah, one of the other neighbor's dogs was joggin with them. So we had one jogger man and 2 dogs to bark at.
We were really goin at it.
'Specially when that big chocolate lab came runnin up to the fence, barkin and a-snarlin at the 3 of us. He made skid marks in the snow, he was comin so fast and the fence was right in front of him. Mommy was inside tappin hard on the window. The dog turned 'round to get back on the road. All 3 of us barkin skeered him off.
That or the jogger man called him to come back.
That's right, git offa my place.
We went in after that. It was still cold out there and we needed to warm up and clam down.
Daddy said that big chocolate lab looked like a big turd runnin down the road. :-0
January 17th 2013 12:13 pm
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Ok, so we go outside and come inside 'bout a gazillion times a day.
But if Mommy sees sum one pullin into our drive, we have to stay in. Unless it's the mailman. Then we go out to bark at him while she gets the package at the front door.
Yeserday, I told the guys I was goin out. Tux came along.
We headed out and to my surprise there was a pick-em-up truck turnin 'round in our drive! Then the guy even got out and started throwin out fire wood.
Do I even have to tell you?
We were all over that with our barkin. Jus' like flies on stink.
One of the trails that Daddy had shoveled for us was over by the fence next to the driveway. That way we could get over there without high-centerin in the deep snow.
Tux was layin down bark cover to keep the guy outta our yard. The guy stayed busy tossin out wood from his truck. I heard and saw a lil dog in the cab of the truck. He was barkin at me. I was barkin at him. I tol' him to stay in that truck and don't you dare get outta that truck.
He stayed in that truck.
Drover joined the fray sum time in there. I was too busy barkin to notice but it was good to have all 3 of us barkin. Gotta protect our place. That guy didn't have all his teeth. Can't trust sum body with missin teeth.
In a bit Tux tol' me Mommy was hollerin at us. "All dogs come!"
Don't give in Tux! We gotta keep up the defense!
But he gave up. The lure of the promised cookie was too strong. Drover gave up too. He is such a momma's boy.
I was left alone out there to defend the whole place!
That's when I did hear Mommy. She was callin to Me to come in an' get a cookie.
I decided that was enough barkin. It was cold out there anyways. I went in, got my cookie and started to bark again.
I barked good riddance to that guy when he pulled away.
January 15th 2013 7:13 am
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My photo captions! Where'd they go? I don't even know how long they been gone. Mine are gone. Tux's are gone. Drover's are there. I even looked and the kitty cats' are messed up. Sum have captions on sum of their pictures, sum don't.
What r go on? I hope they show up sumtime. I am awfully clever with my captions.
January 13th 2013 8:36 am
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Woo Hoo! I am climbin back on the Diary Pick Loop-Dee-Loop! Two days in a row and I didn't even bark a new entry. Save those zealies Pals, times are tough and you need to stock pile. Don't spend 'em furvolussly on lil me.
It is dog gone cold here Pals. I don't recommend you comin for a visit until we get outta these negative temperatures. It is 'bout -10 right now and earlier it was 'bout -20 at My place.
But, and this is a good but, Daddy has scooped us more snow trails. Now all we have ta do is wander 'round and find the perfect spot to tinkle or poop. 'Course Tux has longer legs so's he gets off the trails to poop and then Mommy has to get off the trail to scoop.
Drover has been havin back end problems. The cold makes him not be able to walk and his back legs go all wonky. The peepoles sumtimes carry him up the back steps. He even went to the vet the other day. After lookin him over, the vet thought he had a New-row-lodge-ic-all problem and there isn't much they could do to help him. Sumtimes Drover is fine and plays and stuff. Sumtimes the back legs jus' don't work good like they should. And the vet did hear a heart murmur. But he asked if Drover had a cough, that kinda goes along with a heart murmur. No, Drover doesn't have a cough so that is good.
Anywhos that is what is happenin 'round My place.
Don't worry 'bout me, I am warm and cozy and I can always find sumfin to bark at.