The Z Files

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The cone-free zone

December 17th 2012 8:04 am
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I am still cone-free! I got to sleep without the durn thing. I can still sneak in a few licks but then I just switch over to my paws.
It's real good when the Granny sees me lickin. She either says: a. nuthin or b. you shouldn't be lickin.
She doesn't get on me like Mommy and Daddy do. So I can lick away to my hearts content.
But soon, My place will be a granny-free zone. Daddy is takin her to sum salty lake to fly away to another son's place in Ball-tee-more or sumplace. They will be leavin this afternoon 'cause a snow storm is 'spossed to happen.
Mommy is prayin her flight will be able to leave on time and Daddy can get home tomorrow.
Then we can all run 'round the house nekkid. Ok, jus kiddin. But we will be glad to have our place back the way it was before she came to stay. And stay. And stay.


cone - free, for now

December 16th 2012 4:46 pm
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I am so sad. Kiddin!
Mommy took off my cone this affernoon. She put Drover's green stripy t-shirt on me. You know, my hipster t-shirt.
She put sum anti-itchy stuff on and then sprayed my leggie spot with bitter apple junk.

I gotta lick sumfin! So I licked my back paw, not the removed spot on my leg.
Then I kinda licked my front paws.

But the peepoles kept tellin me to "leave it" and when I did they told me I was a "good girl".

So, for now anyways, I am cone free.


That's ok, I like my cone

December 14th 2012 11:14 am
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Ok, so I went to the vet. Dr. Tony took out my stitches. I was a good girl and didn't lick on the way to the vet or while I was at the vet.

He told Mommy to keep the cone on me for a couple more days.

Got home, licked my removed spot spot while I was in the yard.
Got the cone put back on. Mommy put sum kinda cream stuff on the spots.

But that's ok. I Like my cone. Really.
I can wear my cone and lay on a dog bed and face the wall.
So's I can't hear the peepoles laughing at me.
And when I bark, it's good an' loud. Like a amp-lee-fi-er.
And it takes talent to get a drink with the cone on. I've learned to back away with my head down so's I don't spill any water from the dish. Mommy sumtimes makes the back-up beepin sound like big trucks and equipment does.

So there. I want to leave the cone on. Furever. It's a part of who I am.

And I am Sooo happy for Tux bein the Dog of the Day. Yippee.



She dresses me funny and then tortures me

December 13th 2012 5:23 am
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Pups, I can't shake this durn cone! It is on Alla Time.
At least Mommy kinda folds it back when I eat my few bites of breakfast food. Then when she doles out cookies, she holds the cone so's I can find the cookie in her hand.
So since I can't lick any of my furry body parts, I have taken to lickin the inside of the cone. You know, cookie crums, stuff outta my grrl beard, whatever I can find in there.
Last night, I was standin there, lookin pitiful, at Mommy in bed. Had my conehead right in her face. Hopin she would take off the stinkin cone.

She told me I stunk.

I can't help it. Take off the stinkin cone so's I can get a breath of fresh air once in awhile. My beard needs to air out.

Misty and Her pack of minions sent Me a Christmas card. Inside it was a Bacon Air Freshener.

Mommy told Daddy she should hang it in my cone. Can you imagine smellin Bacon and not bein able to eat it? That would be pure torture.

This whole deal is gonna get Mommy on Santa's naughty list.


On, off, on

December 11th 2012 6:29 am
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That's the way it is.
I had a Diary Pick on Sunday. Not yeserday. And I got a Diary Pick today.
Thanks Pals for the rosettes, messages and Forrest and crew for cool piccies. Well, Redford made the piccie for me on Sunday. Bol!

And the cone. It was on. Then we tried the skinny jeans and hipster t-shirt (Bol!, thanks Misty, fashion queen). Rubbed off the pants. Pants got pinned on. Pants got baggier and baggier til the t-shirt neck was pulled nearly to my waist. Pants and t-shirt came off.
Cone is back on for good now. *sigh*

Gotta go to the vet in a couple of days or sumfin to have the stitches taken out. Wonder if the cone can come off then. I may still have to lick my removed spot places. But I think the cone can be gone then. I won't be able to lick open the cut places.
Cone-B-Gone for good! Hope, hope, hope!


Again with the cone head

December 8th 2012 6:53 am
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Well, the cutsie lil t-shirt and pantses were short lived. I managed to rub the pants off so Daddy pinned them on me. But for the night time, I slept with the cone. And I haveta have the cone today so's the Granny don't have to get the pantses off and on me when I potty.

Mommy and Daddy are leavin us here with the Granny for a few hours or sumfin. They are helpin Sissor shop for a new (for her) vehicle. Ya see, the Wednesday night right afore Thanksgiving, she was headin home.
She got rear-ended by some 91 year old guy drivin a big tank of a car. Probly he was textin too. Anywho, his insurance is "toadalin" her lil SUV and she needs a car to drive to Boise next weekend for the openin night of The Hobbit movie.
Yeah, she's weird. At least she admits it.

So I am stuck bein a conehead, at least until Mommy and Daddy get back home.

Get the first car you see Sissor, don't dawdle.


The cone is off

December 7th 2012 3:09 pm
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For now, the cone is off.
Now I am dressed in an old t-shirt of Drover's from when he had a bunch of warts removed. And I am sportin a pair of baby pants with a hole cut out for my tail.

I look like a boy.

And the peepoles are laughin at me. The hole for my tail is big enough for if I go poopy. If I need to tinkle, the pants will have to come off.

And on top of it all, I had to go out in Public with the cone. I got groomed/tortured today.

So 'barrassin.

Will the madness never end?


I'm still a cone head

December 6th 2012 8:15 am
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Coco Rose suggested usin a baby sock and some tapey stuff on my leg and wearin my jammies to cover my removed spot on my side.
Daddy tried it. The removed spot on my leg is up too high. No lil sock would cover it and the bandage stuff just slid back down. I guess maybe suspenders might work. Maybe they can rig up sumfin else with a bigger sock but I gotta keep my lil girl parts uncovered so I can tinkle and poopy.

Until then, I am a cone head.

And, No Harley Davidson, I am not sendin out any kind of 'ception for your Smart Phone. Of course, if I did, it would be for a Smart Phone, not a dum phone. ;-)

I am gettin better at man-oo-ver-in round. I made it up to My Love-Seat-Look-Out this morin and barked at sum new cows in the neighbor's field.
Tough, Granny, you better take your naps in your room, not your recliner. And get ready, we are 'spectin the FedEx truck today!

But I did bump into the baby gate at the end of the hall this mornin. Knocked it over. I mostly find a doggie bed and park my fuzzy tush there.
And Daddy noticed that I must wag my head when I walk. Or maybe it's my shoulders 'cause the cone waves back and forth when I walk.

At least they take the stinkin cone offa me so's I can eat. And I was able to get in sum good lickin on my side this mornin. After I ate, I went outside to potty. I was out there a long time, lickin, and then I pooped. Came inside and had to have the cone again.

Yeserday the mailman said I looked like I had a speaker on my head. And Mommy said I would go deaf from my barkin bein amplified. Grrr.

I am surrounded by comedians. Includin you pups.

Even so, I hope you have a nice day. You don't have to wear a cone.


Good news and bad news

December 4th 2012 3:03 pm
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Good news. The cutesie lil Christmas jammies are off. They only kept me from lickin on the spot on my side, not the spot on my leg.

Bad news. Cone of Shame. This is so toadally 'barrassin. I am the first. The first Ever of Any pets Mommy has Ever had in her entire, super long life that has had to wear the stinkin COS.

I can barely move. No way can I lick the spots now. I am like a furry statue with a stoopid "Comfy Collar". Comfy my asp.

Well, I did manage to jump onto Sissor's bed while Mommy takes this dictation for me.

Oh yeah, and be sure to notice the reflective tape all round the collar. So's WHEN I RUN AWAY tonight, the folks will be able to see me in the car head lights.

My life is over. Kaput. The joy is gone.
Plus my beautiful stick-up ears are smooshed.


I'm Home!

December 3rd 2012 3:16 pm
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I am home! I had to tinkle and tinkle and tinkle sum more at the vets' grassy place. I got sum food and sum cookies and I made a lil poopy and Mommy is tellin me not to lick my side and now I think I will take a nap.

*The vet called the black spot a sebaceous cyst. She actually had a couple removed and she will probably get more as she ages. The vet wasn't concerned and thought the bump was benign. He said bumps are common on Schnauzers.*

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