That Drover!

Drover's at it again! There's a big bump on top of my nose, on the fuzzy part. Drover gave it to me. He punched me to start with. That gave me a little bump. But, he also gave me a wart! There was a wart on his fist when he punched me, and he put it on my nose.
He'd probably want to post something about how he didn't really punch me and how he didn't have a wart on his fist. I'll save him the time. But he really did punch me and give me a wart!
I never know what he's going to do next.
Arroooo!
~Zoe!~

I nearly drownded

The other day, Mom and Dad were taking us dogs for a walk. We went on our usual route, down into the riverbottom. We've had wet, rainy weather lately, and there was a great big lake in the middle of the path.
The lake was frozen over. Drover and me like to walk on top of frozen puddles-our toenails make cool clicky noises, and it's kinda slippery, and Drover falls over.
Well, this lake had thin ice. I could tell that right away, so we all started to walk around the lake. Then, out of the blue, Drover pushed me in! I broke through the ice and started sinking. There were a bunch of pirahnas in the water, and a leopard seal. I tried to swim up towards the surface, but it was so cold that my legs started going numb. Then Daddy pulled me up, out of the water. He scooped me up, hugged me, and dried me off.
We kept walking around the lake. I could see that leopard seal under the ice, following us around the edge of the water. It was like that movie, 8 Below.
Well, we finished our walk and made it back to the house safely. I'm going to have to keep an eye on Drover, though. I never know what he's going to do next.
Arrroooos!
~Zoe!~

I was tortured...really!

Today Drover and me went in for our haircuts. I don't get it-we just got haircuts! I know I have no concept of time, but still, it doesn't seem like that long ago!
Anyway, we went in to the groomers, and the torture started. As soon as we stepped in the door, Drover and I were grabbed and stuffed into this little bitty cage. It was tiny! I hardly had room to breathe! Drover wasn't helping-he was sprawled out, taking a nap.
After hours in the cage, the groomer took me out. Everybody thinks that when dogs go to the groomers, they get their hair clipped. Nope! When dogs go to the groomers, they get their hair shrunk. I'll tell you how it works (from personal experience).
First, the groomer put me in a washing machine and set it on the spin cycle. She left me in there for awhile, then stopped the machine and checked on me. Apparently my hair hadn't shrunk enough, so she closed the lid back up and turned it on again!
Finally, she took me out of the washing machine, and threw me in the dryer. Yep, the dryer. It was on tumble dry! After I bounced around in there for awhile, she took me out.
Next, she put starch on my ears and ironed them to make them stand up. She put lots of starch on them. Then she put a bandana with shamrocks on it around my neck. I guess she thought that my family would see the bandana and say, "Oh, what a lovely bandana! This groomer did a great job cutting Zoe's hair!" As if a bandana proves anything. Hmph.
After that, I got thrown back in the cage and she took Drover out. I guess she thought he was "handsome" or something, cause she was nice to him. She put the washer on the delicate cycle, and used a blow-dryer on him. She tried to iron his ears out, but even after she used a whole bunch of starch, they still flopped over. So he got a bandana too, and then stuffed him back in the cage with me.
Then she forgot about us.
Drover didn't seem to mind, he was watching Nature on his portable DVD player.
Hours later, the groomer looked at the cage, saw us there, and called Mom to come pick us up. Mom came in awhile later, put our leashes on us, and took us outside. You'd think we could manage to get home without incident. Nope!
Drover had the whole area between the groomer's house and the car to pee on, but where did he pee? Mom's leg! That's right, he peed on Mom's leg! I was shocked, and all I could do was stare at him while we got in the car. I got to sit on Brother's lap on the way home and look out the window on the way home, at least. It smelled like pee in the car.
When we finally got home, I went in the house and fell asleep right away. I'll tell you what, torture really tires a pup out!
Arroooo till next time!
.:Zoe:.

Arf arf arf!

I though I'd let you Dogsters know about part of my everyday routine. First let me explain about our living room. We have a great big window in the front of the house, and when I sit on the armrest of our couch, I can see right out the window. I just wish that they would move the couch close to the window, so I could sit right against it and put my nose on the window. Heehee!
There's always stuff outside that I have to bark at! Sometimes I see other dogs, or cows, or horses, or cars, or people walking, or- or a bunch of other stuff! So anyway, I like to sit on the armrest and keep an eye on things. When I see something and start barking, my family yells at me, and tells me to be quiet, get down, or go outside! Sometimes I scare them, and that makes them grouchy. They always tell me, "There's nothing out there, Zoe!" They think that I'm seeing my reflection in the window, or else watching cars a mile away. I really do see stuff, though! Once I think I saw aliens. It was either aliens or Elvis.

Barkouts to my new pal Mulligan, and to all my other pals!
Arroooo!

Black eyes!

Drover gave me 2 black eyes! I know-shocking. I was shocked too, once I got over the pain. He just punched me all of the sudden *wham, wham!* in both eyes! If you asked him, he'd probably deny it.
Hmph.
Mommy says that it's just my hair, it's getting darker around my eyes, but it was Drover! She didn't see him punch me-nobody saw him punch me! They can't prove that he didn't punch me.
I just can't believe it- my own brother, whom I've invited into our family, shared my toys, food and nap spots with, punching me! At least I was polite, and didn't punch him back. I could've, though- I could've given him just as many black eyes as he gave me!

Oh, and speaking of toys, Drover is always taking mine. He's psychotic or something-he always knows which toy I'm about to use, and he grabs it. For example, today I was playing with Security Snake, and decided I wanted to play with Tarzan Ted. Now get this-the minute I decided to use Ted, Drover ran over, snatched up Ted, and started chewing on him!

Arroooos to all you Dogsters!
~*Zoe*~

The "D" Word! *gasp*

Before I get started, let me give some background. The D word is "Daddy". When I hear the D word, I get really excited because it usually means that Daddy just got home, and I can go outside and bark and waggle my tail and "Arroooo!" until Daddy comes inside the yard, then he pets me and rubs my tummy! It's lots of fun.
So, I have no concept of time, but it seems like it's been a really long time since Daddy was last home. Mommy was talking about some class or something that he was at. I guess it could've been just one day, but it seemed like a really long day. I ate a lot of breakfasts, and went to bed a lot of times, and beat up Drover a lot. I think Mommy and Brother and Sister were being careful not to say the D word, because it makes me real excited.
Yesterday, though, they said it! I jumped off the couch and ran outside, and it was Daddy! I waggled at him and Arrrooooed at him until he came inside the yard and petted me. I was so excited and happy to see him!
A big ol' bark out to all my Dogster pals! Thanks, Jelly, you sweet girl, for letting us know how to do links!

Ode to Jelly's monkey.

Hi everyone! This poem is a tribute to my friend Jelly
and her now-silent monkey.

Once there was a toy monkey,
with it, Jelly was spunky.

It screamed loud and clear,
heard by many an ear.
But the scream did not last, I fear.

One day while at play,
It dwindled away.
The scream, it just would not stay!

Now what should she do,
Get a monkey that's new?
She could try a new voice box too.

Oh Jelly, you're swell,
I hope your monkey gets well,
And that he will again be able to yell.

I'm so helpful!

Hi everyone! This morning, I did something really cool I want to tell you about. Mommy was getting laundry from the clothes hampers to take to the washing machine. She carried off a bunch of it when I noticed that she had dropped a sock! Brother saw it too, but I picked it up before he did. Well, brother told me to take it to Mommy, and Mommy called me so I'd know where she was, and I took it to her. I let her have it too, I didn't try to play tug-of-war with it! They were so proud of me! Then later, I took a sock from the dryer to Mommy! I even got a treat that time. I'm so happy with myself!

Also, on a different note, I have a poem about me! Here it is. It's called "Laundry".

Up it comes, right up the stairs,
free from dirt and from cat hairs.
Back it goes to the bedroom,
I run back there, yes I zoom.
They will dump it on the bed,
maybe dump it on my head!
It is warm, I dig and play,
then they take it all away!

That pretty much summarizes what happens to a load of laundry at our house!
Whew, I'm gonna take a napzzzzzzzzzz...

Stinkin' coats!

When we went to Petco to get haircuts last week, Mom got Drover and me coats. Drover's is fuzzy and red, and mine's cream corduroy-type stuff, with brown fuzzy lining. I hate mine! It looks stupid, and the back of it's all stiff and it makes me look like a beetle! It has fake pockets too. I mean, if they're gonna have pockets on a coat, why not make them real pockets? I could use pockets to put stuff in!
When they first put the coat on me, I tried to get it off, I was jumping around and trying to bite at it. They said I looked like a bucking bronco. It burnses us! We had to get it off of us! (Heehee!)
Drover says he likes his coat, but I think he looks silly in it. He looks like he's wearing red pajamas!
The coats are warm, and they're kinda nice to wear outside. But they're still stinkin', and I don't like my coat!

The other day, my pal Jelly wrote in her diary that she heard dogs barking on the computer, and had to bark back at them. I was thinking, maybe it was me she heard! I've been barking a lot lately, and I don't think we live that far away from each other. I'm in Idaho, and she's in Canada. Mom says we're actually not that close to each other, but I don't know-I can bark pretty loud!

Arrooos and tail wiggles to all my Dogster pals!

Good News and Bad News

Oh pups! I have some good news and bad news.
First the good - me and Drover are going to Petco tomorrow! Woo Hoo! Treat bar here I come! But the bad news, I will have to break my New Year's resolution of not getting a haircut. Aaarrrgg. That's the real reason we are going to Petco: haircuts. I heard mommy calling and making the appointment today. Hey, it's real cold here, maybe we can get coats too. And some toys. And Rev wants us to bring him a ferret and a parakeet.

Here's a big bark out to all my pals! Stumpy tail wags to you all.