Arf arf arf!

I though I'd let you Dogsters know about part of my everyday routine. First let me explain about our living room. We have a great big window in the front of the house, and when I sit on the armrest of our couch, I can see right out the window. I just wish that they would move the couch close to the window, so I could sit right against it and put my nose on the window. Heehee!
There's always stuff outside that I have to bark at! Sometimes I see other dogs, or cows, or horses, or cars, or people walking, or- or a bunch of other stuff! So anyway, I like to sit on the armrest and keep an eye on things. When I see something and start barking, my family yells at me, and tells me to be quiet, get down, or go outside! Sometimes I scare them, and that makes them grouchy. They always tell me, "There's nothing out there, Zoe!" They think that I'm seeing my reflection in the window, or else watching cars a mile away. I really do see stuff, though! Once I think I saw aliens. It was either aliens or Elvis.

Barkouts to my new pal Mulligan, and to all my other pals!
Arroooo!

I was tortured...really!

Today Drover and me went in for our haircuts. I don't get it-we just got haircuts! I know I have no concept of time, but still, it doesn't seem like that long ago!
Anyway, we went in to the groomers, and the torture started. As soon as we stepped in the door, Drover and I were grabbed and stuffed into this little bitty cage. It was tiny! I hardly had room to breathe! Drover wasn't helping-he was sprawled out, taking a nap.
After hours in the cage, the groomer took me out. Everybody thinks that when dogs go to the groomers, they get their hair clipped. Nope! When dogs go to the groomers, they get their hair shrunk. I'll tell you how it works (from personal experience).
First, the groomer put me in a washing machine and set it on the spin cycle. She left me in there for awhile, then stopped the machine and checked on me. Apparently my hair hadn't shrunk enough, so she closed the lid back up and turned it on again!
Finally, she took me out of the washing machine, and threw me in the dryer. Yep, the dryer. It was on tumble dry! After I bounced around in there for awhile, she took me out.
Next, she put starch on my ears and ironed them to make them stand up. She put lots of starch on them. Then she put a bandana with shamrocks on it around my neck. I guess she thought that my family would see the bandana and say, "Oh, what a lovely bandana! This groomer did a great job cutting Zoe's hair!" As if a bandana proves anything. Hmph.
After that, I got thrown back in the cage and she took Drover out. I guess she thought he was "handsome" or something, cause she was nice to him. She put the washer on the delicate cycle, and used a blow-dryer on him. She tried to iron his ears out, but even after she used a whole bunch of starch, they still flopped over. So he got a bandana too, and then stuffed him back in the cage with me.
Then she forgot about us.
Drover didn't seem to mind, he was watching Nature on his portable DVD player.
Hours later, the groomer looked at the cage, saw us there, and called Mom to come pick us up. Mom came in awhile later, put our leashes on us, and took us outside. You'd think we could manage to get home without incident. Nope!
Drover had the whole area between the groomer's house and the car to pee on, but where did he pee? Mom's leg! That's right, he peed on Mom's leg! I was shocked, and all I could do was stare at him while we got in the car. I got to sit on Brother's lap on the way home and look out the window on the way home, at least. It smelled like pee in the car.
When we finally got home, I went in the house and fell asleep right away. I'll tell you what, torture really tires a pup out!
Arroooo till next time!
.:Zoe:.

I nearly drownded

The other day, Mom and Dad were taking us dogs for a walk. We went on our usual route, down into the riverbottom. We've had wet, rainy weather lately, and there was a great big lake in the middle of the path.
The lake was frozen over. Drover and me like to walk on top of frozen puddles-our toenails make cool clicky noises, and it's kinda slippery, and Drover falls over.
Well, this lake had thin ice. I could tell that right away, so we all started to walk around the lake. Then, out of the blue, Drover pushed me in! I broke through the ice and started sinking. There were a bunch of pirahnas in the water, and a leopard seal. I tried to swim up towards the surface, but it was so cold that my legs started going numb. Then Daddy pulled me up, out of the water. He scooped me up, hugged me, and dried me off.
We kept walking around the lake. I could see that leopard seal under the ice, following us around the edge of the water. It was like that movie, 8 Below.
Well, we finished our walk and made it back to the house safely. I'm going to have to keep an eye on Drover, though. I never know what he's going to do next.
Arrroooos!
~Zoe!~

That Drover!

Drover's at it again! There's a big bump on top of my nose, on the fuzzy part. Drover gave it to me. He punched me to start with. That gave me a little bump. But, he also gave me a wart! There was a wart on his fist when he punched me, and he put it on my nose.
He'd probably want to post something about how he didn't really punch me and how he didn't have a wart on his fist. I'll save him the time. But he really did punch me and give me a wart!
I never know what he's going to do next.
Arroooo!
~Zoe!~

Snow day!

A couple of days ago it snowed here, and yesterday it was real windy, so today there are a bunch of drifts, and a humungus one in the back yard! This morning, Sister was talking about taking me sleddin' on the big drift. I was so excited! I had to wait until she was all done with her school (which took forever!) before we could go out to sled.
Finally she was ready, and had the sleds at the top of the drift. She got on one sled and sat on the edge of the drift, all ready to go down. I got scared, though. I've never been on a sled before, and that was one big drift! I've never seen such a big drift! It was about 150 feet tall. I didn't want to go sleddin'.
I climbed up on the drift with Sister and was walking around on top of it, but I wouldn't get on the sled, or let Sister get ahold of me.
Pretty soon Brother and Drover came outside, and Sister gave up on the sleddin' idea. BOL. We started playing with our Jolly Balls and running around in the snow. Brother and Sister made big holes where they stepped on the snowdrift, and sometimes Drover and me would step in the holes, trip, and do faceplants. Drover did it more than I did.
While we were playing, I found a great big frisbee! Brother kept calling it a saucer sled, whatever that is, but I knew it was a great big frisbee! I had lots of fun running around carrying it in my mouth. There's some pictures on my page, you can see the huge frisbee.
I got tired out doing that, and got lots of little snowballs on my fur. It was fun, though! I'm pooped now, and it's my bedtime. G'night!
Arrooos and tail wiggles!
~Zoe~

Wierd...

Yesterday I was real busy. Daddy was working on something downstairs, and Mommy was working on something upstairs, so I had to help them both! I'd go back to help Mommy for awhile, then run all the way down the hall, down the stairs, and over to where Daddy was, and help him. Then I'd need to go help Mommy some more, so I ran back up the stairs and all the way down the hall to help her.

Then, in the evening, something really wierd started to happen! Mommy, Daddy, and Brother started moving the washing machine. That's right-the washing machine! They started moving it! They pulled it out from the closet where it was (I was helping, of course), and started taking it downstairs.

There was some icky gunky black...gunk on the floor where the washing machine was. Drover and I weren't allowed to walk in it. I found something under the washing machine and ate it. I don't know what it was. It might have been an old piece of popcorn.

They slid it down the stairs, with me riding on top of it, and put it next to the dryer. Drover had been sleeping the whole time and didn't wake up until we were all done. I think he had been planning that. Anyway, he woke up and started freaking out-he thought somebody had stole the washing machine. I had to take him downstairs and show it to him before he calmed down and stopped trying to call the police.

The washing-machine-moving-incident wasn't too bad, but then it happened. Mom moved Drover and me's boxes into the closet where the washing machine used to be. We're going to have to start sleeping in the closet! I'll have to be in there with Drover. He'll use up all the oxygen-he sucks it up like a vacuum cleaner- and I won't be able to sleep because he snores so loud! He gets really bad nighttime breath, too. The closet will be filled with toxic fumes. Mommy says she'll leave the closet doors open, but she'll probably forget and close them.

Tonight will be my first night in The Closet. I'll let you all know how it goes tomorrow. If I survive the night, that is...

Congrats to Jelly and Jennifer for being Diary of the Days! Hope you two get speedy internet soon.
Arrrooooos!
)~*Zoe*~(

I Survived!

Not to worry Pups! I survived the night in the closet! It is actually a spacious closet and Mommy did leave the door open for us. Daddy did forget and close it but Mommy opened it right away. They said they may even take the doors off. The worst part was, Amber, one of the kitties kept creeping in the closet and staring at me. She stuck out her tongue a time or two. Or maybe that was her hairball hack-up face.
Bad part is I can't watch the flames in the woodstove anymore. Good part is the closet is Real close to Breakfast! I just came shooting out of my box and stuffed my face in my food dish.
Drover wants me to make a point to tell you that he didn't use up all the air. But he does have bad morning breath, yuck.

It was a super nice, springy day today. I just love to go outside and hunt bugs. That's what I did today. Plus a lot of barking at, oh, just anything.

Arroooos to all my pals!

Streaming consciousness

Drover was telling me about a book he was reading. The book sounds boring, and I forgot the title, but he said it was writen in streaming consciousness style. He said that's when somebody writes what they're thinking, as they think it. I thought that sounded cool, so I thought I'd try!

Hm, I don't know what to write about- wait, I do know! The other day I was back in the bedroom with Mommy and Daddy. I was up on the bed, and started to fall off, but Daddy saved me! He grabbed me and saved me from falling. Drover probably tried to push me off the bed. I never know what he's going to do next. Like yesterday- I was outside catching bugs, and he tried to put a dead fly in my ear. I was able to get out of the way, but it wound up on my head. It was gross! Brother took it off for me. I really like catching bugs- it's warmed up real nice the past couple of days, and a whole bunch of bugs are coming out off the woodwork. Or someplace. I don't know if they're coming out of the woodwork or not, but they sure are coming out of someplace! So I have to catch them. They're aren't as many bugs out today, though, cause it's windy. I didn't spend as much time outside today. Drover and me had to stay in our boxes for a really long time. Mom and Brother and Sister went into "the big city" to shop. They went to PetCo! Woot! They brought home some more food for us, and a bag of treats from the PetCo treat bar. I wanted them to buy me somemore toys, like a great big long fuzzy snake, or an octopus with really long fuzzy legs, or a giant hedgehog that makes a grunting kind of noise. He reminds me of Fritz MacDougal, my old hedgehog who's in toy heaven now. I kept tearing up his spine, and Mommy and Sister kept sewing him up, but I kept tearing him up, and eventually, he was too torn up to be sewed up again. So he went to toy heaven. *sniff* Then there's Squishy- I got a big blue ball I called Squishy, and played with it outside. It popped, though, when Sister threw it and it landed against the fence. We got another blue ball, that I called Squishy 2, but Drover came along and chewed that one up! I just never know what Drover's going to do next.

This streaming consciousness thing is fun! My consciousness is all typed-out right now, but maybe I'll try it again later!
Talk to you pups later! Arroooos!
!~Zoe~!

I'm a helper!

The other day, Daddy was working out in the yard, doing stuff with the garden raised beds. I was helping him! I'd trot out with him to the raised beds to supervise him, then go over to the fence to bark at some cows that were getting too close, then go back over to help Daddy! I was such a good helper that I got to go outside of the fenced yard with Daddy a few times!

Mommy says I'm a good girl, too. We have two new kitties, and they're pretty nice. I want to meet them, and sometimes I really want to chase them and play with them. I don't, though! I go up and sniff noses with them. Like I said, they're nice kitties, I just wish they'd run away from me a few times so I could chase them. Heehee!

Bark you all later!
*~*Zoe*~*

I'm becoming Daddy's Girl

I just love to help Daddy outside. It has been so nice lately, that Daddy has been working to get our garden ready. I just stay with him and supervise his work. I hand him tools and stuff. He talks to me and tells me what a good girl I am. Two days in a row, I just mostly helped Daddy. I was a pooped pup after being outside in all the fresh air and doing all that helping work. I asked to go to bed about 8:30 last night!
I can't believe what Drover did though. All this talk of how much he loves Mommy and he tried to escape the yard yesterday. I was taking a break from helping Daddy and Drover and I were just wandering around our yard. All of a sudden he's got his head under the fence and is trying to dig his way out! I was shocked and I told him he was very naughty and was going to get in trouble! I was trying to get him to come back in the yard. Mom looked out the window and came running out hollering at Drover. He pulled his head back then. Sister tried to get ahold of his collar to take him inside and he growled at her and threatened to bite her! She did get him inside, but he is a naughty boy! He's probably so ashamed of himself, I doubt if he tells about it in his diary. Man, I have to keep an eye on that jailbird.
Arrrrooooo!
Zoe