February 13th 2013 7:30 am
[ View A Comments (11) ]
The other day Mommy took me to the groomer/torture place. Me, all by myself. I was the only dog there 'cause the g/t person had gotten bucked offa her horsie and was limpin 'round the place. She wasn't doin much g/t 'til she felt better.
So's since there were No Witnesses she gave me a real good goin over. I musta blacked out 'cause I can't 'member any of the details. I do 'member Mommy pokin her head in the door but the g/t person hadn't cut off my toenails or yanked out my ear hairs (and made my ears bleed) yet.
Finally, I got to leave.
Since I blacked out, I don't know fur sure what happened. But let me tell you, that g/t person did sumfin to my cute lil patootie. I been tryin to get to it, can't reach it good so I rub and look pitiful alla time.
Heartless Mommy tells me to "get over it, you're alright."
I think I need lots 'o cookies. Medicinal cookies. Then I might "get over it".
I'm sorry that you were tortured. I think in addition to medicinal cookies, you need bacon--and lots and lots of it!
An' a coupla stwawbewwy milkshakes shood helb, tu :D Poor, sweet gurl!
This is an outrage! You poor little girl!
HD runs around and stares at Zoe's patootie! I don't see nothing! Wait, I think I see a bruise! HD gets a inflatable doughnut for Zoe to use. It's a big red heart for you Miss Zoe.
That is terrible. I think the cure for torture is meatz and lots of meatz!
I knew you pups would unnerstan. Thanks for the ideas of Meatz and milkshakes, cookies and bacon!
And HD, if this weren't so 'barrassin, I would BOL 'bout the big red heart for my patootie.
Poor Zoe...is your bummy better now? Are your ears still bleeding?
NO witnesses to your torture? I think you should fly to Ireland straight away and lodge a statement with FACE-UP! According to our reading of canine law, "any act of torture masquerading as grooming must be witnessed and approved by a minimum of two members of the canine species". You definitely have a case! Our qualified canine law practitioners will advise you free of charge and just collect (ahem) part of the settlement......
Zoe, I use to come home with scabby ears but now I gots a man groomer and my ears are never hurt! HD whispers in Zoe's ear, I neber had to have my patootie squeezed and I hope that pillow helps.
OMD - I hate the Butt Squeeze! MEATZ™ is called for.
I think you need lotsa MEATZ to forgive and forget.