November 3rd 2012 9:10 am
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I mentioned the other day that Daddy's Mommy is comin to be with us for awhile. He is gonna go get her from Aunt Evil's place in a couple of days.
Mommy wants me to ask you pups (or your pawrents) for sum suggestions.
She could google out there in the big wide webbie thing. But maybe sum of you have some axfural 'sperience with this stuff.
Lemme 'splain what Mommy is needin help with.
Ok, so Daddy's Mommy is 88 (my favorite number!). She is mobile but she gets around slowly due to Arthur Itis in her hips and stuff. Other than bein forgetful, her mind seems to be workin ok.
She won't be drivin on her own.
Of course, she wants to move back "home". She didn't like it in Missouri with one son. She doesn't like it in Wyoming with her daughter. She doesn't like it here in Idunno. She just can't move back into the shack they were livin in. So she wants to get an apartment in town.
Daddy would get her set up with Meals-On-Wheels, a housekeeper and one of those "help I've fallen and I can't get up" things. There is a senior citizen van that would take her shopping and we think to doctor's appointments.
But. Here's where we could use some suggestions. If you don't wanna post on the comments, you can p-mail me and I will be sure Mommy reads them.
Are there lil things we should watch for that might lead us to think she shouldn't be on her own? Mommy doesn't want to hover over her but she isn't sure how much "guidance" (or maid service) she should give. Since Daddy will be at work, Mommy will be with her all day. Observin.
Anywhos. Any suggestions of things to be on the lookout for?
Thanks in advance Pals.
Sounds like a lot to think about!
Mom's mom is 87 years old. She lives in a senior apartment and due to some health problems 2 years ago, she now has a nurse come in to check her once a week. Grammy alternates between a walker and a wheelchair for her mobility. She can still cook on her own, but when she was sick last year mom fixed her up with Meals on Wheels. The problem with that was Meals on Wheels only delivers during the week and not on the weekends or holidays. That is the case here, not sure what it is like there. In grammy's senior complex every morning they have to put out an "I'm OK" sign. If this sign is not out, the management goes into the apartment to see if they are OK. My mom has talked to the coordinator of the senior apartment and this person assesses grammy every three months and reports back to mom. Can you have someone, other than family, check in on your grammmy to see how she is doing? Firstly has she been accepted into a senior complex and what kinda of provisions do they make for declining mobility, etc. There is lots to think about as our grammy's get older. Feel free to paw mail my mom if you want.
How 'bout takin' med'cines? Messin' up pills an' junk r a sign dat dere needs be sum degwee ob superbishun.
My Momma's bery elderwy (95) gwampa *insisted* on bein' in charge ob eberyfing tu du wif hims wife (94),pwacticawwy, until hur died wast monf. Dis incwuded messin' up hur pills an' offen gibbin' hur da wong ones :O
Bud I digwess.
I would agree with Abby. Senior housing is better than just an apartment in town. Does she use a walker? Mobile Meals in our town only deliver during the week. I know my stepdad would forget to eat and take his medicines. Having her at your house will give you a chance to observe her behavior and mental stability. I wouldn't hover over her but if you see she needs help than offer. It is so difficult to give up your independence. Also, senior housing gives them the social interaction that they need and new friends can be made. She feels comfortable in her own surroundings but maybe you can help her make the decision on her own that this is the best thing for her. I know with my stepdad that after a week in assisted living he finally admitted to me that this was the best decision he had made. I will say that I always gave him the opportunity to go back home. Hope this helps.
We also have senior housing that also includes a nursing home. The seniors in the apartments are independent but they can opt to purchase meals with the nursing home and eat in their dining room. What is quite common is for the seniors to purchase a meal plan where they eat supper every day in the dining room and provide their own small meals for breakfast and lunch. At some point they can make a smooth transition to the nursing home section if they need it. This is what Mommy's Grandparents did. They lived for a few years in the senior's apartments but when their health declined to the point that they needed more assistance then they went into the nursing home.
We also have " home care" where someone will go to the senior's apartment each day to prepare a meal, help them bath, give medication etc. The idea is to help senior stay independent for as long as possible.
*Zoe claps her paws*!
I knew you pups would have some great ideas and things to consider.
Mommy will fur sure pass this info along to Daddy too.
Daddy did check into the senior housing thing. You had to sign your life away it seemed. She has money to pay for stuff and doesn't need govt. assistance. But senior housing otherwise sounds good. Of course, there is assisted living but that is very pricey. It would eat away at all of her zealie purdy fast.
I don't have advice to give, Zoe, but Momma wants to wish your Momma lots of luck. It's not easy taking care of an elderly relative, and she wants to remind her to take care of herself, too, please, so she doesn't get sick. That's all, pup!
Oh yeah, Mommy is stockin up on her favorite flavor of ice cream. Medicinal porpoises, ya know?! Bol!
BOL!!! She's a smart lady!! If your Momma finds herself overwhelmed and outta ice cream, Momma is always available for her to talk to!
Ice cream are always good!
I would check with the county agencies in your area. Depending on how much help your grandma needs, I'm sure they probably have a lot of helpful information--including any info on whether your Grandma can get financial help from the govt. which she should take if she needs it. An evalution from a psychologist or psychiatrist along with a "family dr." is also helpful since they know what kind of things to look for which those of us who do not deal with older people might overlook. A geriontologist would be ideal, but there might not be many of them in your area. I'm sure your family will take good care of her, but keep in mind, she may never be "happy" like she was when she was in her own home. However, with time, adjustment can be obtained, and sometimes it is necessary to have the human watched out for. You can't expect there not to be some depression involved though simply because it is not fun getting older....at least that is my Mommy's experience. She said she was much happier a couple of decades ago.
My Mama sees lots of people at her job, and says that SAFETY is the first thing ever! Does your Mama's Mama have important medicine she needs to take evfurry day? Or multiple times per day? How good is she at takin' those medicines at the right time? Those can make or break someone! How forgetful? Forgetful can be scary! Does she use a cane or walker? How well does she do stairs? We say take up any throw rugs because those things are ASKIN for someone to trip on them! What about eating? Can she cook? Does she leave the stove or oven on? Does she eat as much as she needs to sustain herself and not wither away? I think if your Mama just keeps the corner of her eyeball on HER Mama she will see things and be able to tell OH YES, or OH NO SHE CAN'T!
We have furrends with those necklaces with the button and those are GREAT! SOOPER DOOPER, EVEN! And Meals on Wheels is also SOOPER DOOPER! They try to give variety. It's good!
Demon Flash Bandit is right, no one is ever as happy as they were in their 'home' home, it's never just right, but you can encourage her to use and love the things she has now. Change is very hard, especially when you're limited.
Keep us posted!
Mum has been going through some tough times this year with her pawrents. They moved into Assisted Living about 3 years ago. Prior to that, Mum & her sister had to go to their house a couple of times a week to take out the trash and recycling and do any heavy work. Everybody has been giving good advice but do remember that your Daddy's Momma isn't going to be any better in the future than she is now. In fact most likely she will decline in her abilities. It would be a difficult decision but she really needs to live near a trusted relative. Is there Senior Living near your house? How has she handled the passing of her husband. Is she capable of doing the things that he did? Mum's mother didn't know anything about the things her husband did around the house. So when a breaker tripped in the kitchen she was going to call an electrician when it was just the GFI circuit breaker. He passed this April and now she is alone and has declined quite rapidly which Mum was told often can happen.
Please make sure she can handle everyday life and know when to take whatever medications she needs. She may be able to be on her own for a while yet but eventually she will need her family to be closer to help her make the right choices for the rest of her life. Good luck to you. Write us if you want to talk.
You all don't know how helpful you have been! Thank you for all the input.
Daddy is leaving in awhile to go get her.
Then we shall see what happens.