On and On

I am gone from you but
you are not gone from me
I am there - you are with me.

I have slipped free of my earthly body,
just as you will, at a time, marked for you.
A time marked for me, too, as you cross the Bridge.

Ocean breezes lifted our spirits
the salty smell and tang we both enjoyed.
The sea is still there, as am I.

The smell of earth and grass
sweet clover, too, lingered on my paws
as I trod sunlit meadows by your side.
The meadow is still there, as am I.

On the loamy forest floor,
where we ran and laughed,
panting and loving the moment,
the two of us, together.
The forest is still there, as am I.

When at night we'd go to bed and snuggle into
the warmth of blankets, and close to each other--
so close we could feel each others sighs contented
and dream our dreams of the day.
That has not changed. I am beside you
and sometimes you dream of me
and I love it.

When thoughts of me sadden you
I am jumping and whining and circling round
sending strong thoughts of the many times
we were ecstatic with the pure joy of being
kin and friends.

In your waking hours, every sweet, happy,
and good memory you have of me is the
greatest expression of love you could give me.
You are caressing the heart of me.
As good as a snuggle, this side of the Bridge.

I am your friend, and your fur kin, always.
When I look at you with love
my expression is not bound by time.
That love goes on and on...

...and others may see it. Will you?

~*~

Copyright 2005 by Shamren's human

Wanted - A Small Dog

I put the note up on the bulletin board at work...
Wanted: A small dog, under 10 lbs, female, 3 to 4 months old.

I got a call within a week. "Hello, my name's Gloria. I found your note on the bulletin board. We have a female mix that fits your description, if you're interested."

I was interested! I quickly grabbed a notepad and pen. "When can I see her?"

"Why don't you come by this weekend." The woman's voice was weary sounding.

I looked at my desk calendar. "What day is good for you?"

"Let's make it Saturday. Around 4:00 that afternoon." She paused, waiting for an answer.

"Okay. Tell me how to get to your place."

Gloria quickly rattled off her address and gave some rough directions on how to get to her house.

I took the information down, tore the paper off the pad and stuffed it in my purse, then sighed. I'd hoped to see the pup sooner.

It was a hot July afternoon when I pulled up at the address given. The house, a two-story, older home had seen better days.

I got out of my van and stepped up to the old wooden porch. Tied to one of the posts was a young buff colored female Pit Bull mix. She hadn't barked. She studied the me with old eyes. After knocking on the door, Gloria answered, then came out onto the porch. She pointed to the dog tied to the post.

"That's Fuji."

Fuji looked older, more like 6 to 7 months. Sizing her up visually, I guessed her weight to be around 15 to 20 lbs. I noticed one of her ears was torn; an old injury. Fuji had not taken her eyes off me. "Is this the pup you said was available?"

Gloria nodded.

"May I see her mother?" I bent down, moved closer to the young dog.

Gloria fidgeted, ran her hands through her hair. "She's in the back."

"I don't mind..."

Gloria leaned up against the front door looking uncomfortable. "Truth is, we've got a flea problem. I bathed Fuji with flea soap but I didn't bathe her mother."

"I'd like to see her anyway." I let the dog sniff my hand.

Anger sparked in Gloria's eyes then was quickly gone. "All right. I'll bring her out front."

A few minutes later Gloria had a Cocker/Pit mix female in tow. Ticks covered the dog's head and face. "You'll want to keep your distance. The fleas are pretty bad. And I don't want to expose her pup to them now that we got her cleaned up."

I reached out and stroked Fuji. Fuji watched me with a curious intensity. "I'll take her," I stated as I caressed Fuji's head and shoulders.

"Oh. Good!" Gloria sighed with relief. "The boys'll miss her. They get on their skateboards, put a rope on her and she pulls them. But I'm glad you're taking her. I would have had to take her to the pound..."

"Yes. Well..." I reached out to untie Fuji. I picked her up and turned to bid Gloria good-bye, but the woman had vanished. Fuji sidled up against me as I drove off.

After we got home I took a good look at Fuji. What I saw gripped my heart and wrenched it. Covering the small dog's body were sores, scabs, and scars. The result of a horrific flea and tick infestation. I shook my head, pulled the dog into my arms and buried my face in Fuji's fur.

The name, Fuji, would have to go. I'd need a new name to go with her new life. I named her Shamren.

I took Shamren to the vet for shots, a check up, and to schedule a day to have Shamren spayed. Shamren also had a spot on her muzzle I wanted the vet to examine.

A couple of days later the vet called. Shamren had demodectic mange. The vet was concerned as the diagnosis signified a problem with Shamren's immune system. He stated the treatment could be expensive and Shamren may or may not be healed. He also mentioned the option of euthanasia.

There was no option. I began treating Shamren. By autumn Shamren was completely healed.
From the day I brought Shamren home I had presented her with different toys, trying to engage her in a game of fetch or tug-of-war. Shamren never took interest in anything but Nylabones. Play was not in her canine vocabulary and I found it difficult to imagine but realized the reason was probably because no one had ever played with her when she was a pup.

Later that fall Shamren started to "talk." Play might not have been in her vocabulary, but speech was. She had all kinds of sounds stored up inside and she seemed eager to express herself. And something more, Shamren could smile. A grin that lit up her face and sparkled in her eyes.

In short order we became best of friends, sisters, and confidants. And in all things we did Shamren watched me with that same curious intensity.

As Shamren grew older she had several pre-cancerous moles and growths removed. After a while she grew too old to be operated on. She had a bad heart and the vet didn't want to risk it.

One day she stopped eating. She refused everything but water. In all other ways Shamren acted normal, but I knew she wasn't and took her to the vet. Shamren was diagnosed with cancer. The vet advised that as long as she wasn't in pain she could go home. He told me I would know when it was time to bring her back.

It was a loving and difficult time we had left and it passed all too quickly. With a heavy spirit I knew the time had come to take Shamren back to the vet.

I carried my beloved furry sister into the office and with tears streaming down my face I told the receptionist the purpose of my visit. The vet brought us into an exam room and asked me if I wanted to be present when he gave Shamren the shot to put her down. I said I did.

The vet tenderly took Shamren and laid her on the table. He gave her two shots: the first one to relax her, the other to see her over. Crooning words of love I sobbed as I caressed Shamren. And through it all Shamren watched me with that curiously intent gaze...filled with love.

Copyright © 2003 by Shamren's human