Top 'o The Table Talk

spring has sprung! 4-20-07

ahh, the joys of spring! digging large holes in the yard, ripping up tulip bulbs, the mud and the glory. i have learned that i am a fabulous gardener. i can dig things up, move them about the yard and viola! new look in landscaping! i prefer a more eclectic look. unplanned, carefree. my peeps are in disagreement with my aesthetics however, and we are in constant battle over the look of the garden.

1-4-07 the Joys of Presants!!!!

i really really really like presants. i got lots! they are so much fun to open. i get to rip paper to shreds and leave it all over the room and people clap and not yell! can you believe that? they are so crazy! i thought i was getting more presants the other day and was filled with glee, but, alas, it was Mama's birthday. she let me help her open her presants tho. hers are not as much fun as mine, none of them squeek, and you can't eat them. why bother?
i turn 2 this month. i don't feel a day over 15 months. the cats butt still tastes as good as ever. life is good.

7-15-06

that whole 4th of July deal?? what gives? lots of food i didn't get to eat, lots of peeps i didn't get to crotch sniff, lots of noise. I never did find that damn cat, she was MIA all day, and i was trapped inside. you can take that holiday!
but i got to go camping last weekend and that was GOOD! lots of food i did get to eat! i met a chipmonk ( he did not like me) and i walked and hiked and peed on all kinds of things. i went for a bike ride and saw another dog and yanked Momma off her bike ( It was HILARIOUS!). i was, however, most viciously attacked by two chihauhuas with chips on thier shoulders. i swear, i thought they were kidding, and by the time i realized that they were posessed by satan, well it was too late, they had me cornered, and Momma says i cant pick on the littles, although i thought that she was gonna kick some chihauhua butt. Momma said she wanted Mexican for dinner that nite!

6-26-06

Oh My Dog!!!! can you believe this weather, its woofalicious! Momma set up my pool for me and i have been such the pool hound. i have been wet for days! i like to stand in it and scope out the hood. momma puts it in the driveway so that all can see me in my glorious wetness. the childrens walking down the street were very jealous of my pool, as they should be. i would have gone up to them and said hi but that would have meant that i had to get out of the pool and i couldn't bear the thought of that. i don't even like to leave it when my toys fly over the side, i just whine til momma throws them back in to me.
did you know that you can actually drink the water that comes out of the hose? its fabulous! and licking all the water off mom is better than licking the lotion off her legs or the cats butt.
i hate to be ungrateful or any thing, but i need a bigger pool. when momma and i and all my toys are in there, we just don't have enough room for a proper frolic. and when momma puts her shorty lawn chair in there you can forget about it!
now i know why they call it "the dog days of summer", its great to be a dog!

My Tail of Devotion for Harley

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6-21-06

Ahhh, the dawg days of summer!!! i had to nap all day today, on and off of coarse. its tuff work watching momma work and toil and fill in the holes and stuff. it exhausts me.
The kitty attacked me with her paws of fury today. i do not know why she gets so upset when i shove my nose up her rectum. Dogs love that, what up wid the kitties??? she is such a snob. if i did not find her hienie so irresistable i would shun her. I see her little balloon knot passing right by my line of vision and i can't help myself!!! I'm hooked on kitty butt! i need a 12 step program or something.

6-18-06

i have been such a busy pup! Mom has decided, in her infinate wisdom, not to drive except to work and to get groceries. Needless to say, i have been the happy walkin' smellin' hound dog! i have sniffed my way all over da hood!
last night i scared the poop out of some hoody wearin', baggy pants teen age boys, i tell ya, made my day! i just wanted a pet and a rub, but all they saw was how large i am and not how little i am inside. it is so hard to be misunderstood.
i would like to thank the people that have given me a 5 paw rating. that is so very nice of you. if i could, i would gladly come over to your yard and bury one of my bones under your favorite shrub. mom says i have a special knack for that. however, she usually isn't very happy when she says it.

4-20-06

According to my peeps, i am still quite gassy, but i think its all in thier noses. i can't smell a thing! But, i gotta tell ya, having the "turkey's revenge" certainly got me out of getting my toenails clipped the other day, momma said that she just couldn't do that to the groomer. Do what??? i don't get it, but thats what she said.
i have been so busy, i have dug a bunch- o- holes in the flower beds and hidden my bones in them. The down side to this is that momma has found them too, only she puts my poo in them. there i am, minding my own biz, thinking "i want a little snack" so i innocently wander over to my larder, to find it FILLED WITH POO!!!! how could she do this to me?? what is her freakin' problem man??? i leave her fridge alone... well pretty much, at least i don't put poo in it. That woman has issues. She even thinks that behavior such as hers is quite funny. i am thinking of a hienous way to get her back. i am confidant that something will come to me.

the Easter Blues 4-19-06

i thought i was such a lucky pup on Easter as i got to eat turkey!!! i woofed it up man! unfortunately it has been answering me back ever since. i have had the WORST case of turkey flatulence that one can imajine! In fact, i was forced to sleep in the-----GASP--- garage! Horror of horrors! i have a sneaking suspicion that it will be a cold day you know where before i ever get another bite of turkey again. i will live with this as long as i get to come back to bed at night. that garage is a lonely place, even if pappa did put a tv ( Its back and white, and i don't care what they say i am not color blind and i prefer a large sceen with hi- def) in there for me.
However, i refuse to hang my head in shame when everyone says "Jeeze Harley" because i am having a little gasto-intestinal turbulance. Hey man, farts happen!

4-15-06

It's raining again, how sad. woof wuffle. no one will let me go play in the mud and i have a sneaking suspicion that mum & pop went to Petco without me. There are new fish in the tank and new treats for me that i did not pick out. i will forgive them as the new treats are quite yummy.
The nieghbor girls came over last night and let me lick them from head to toe whilest they rolled around on the floor. They didn't even care about being covered in hair or nuthin'. i like them, they giggle alot. They are a gaggle o' gigglin' goils.

4-12-06

Happy Happy Joy Joy!!!
Another glorious day! My "stoop" is all finished!!! it has paw prints on it and a sign that says...."The Stoop" i am so happy for it.
Not only that we have children imported, i thought it was just for me, but apparently, they have this spring break deal and came for the people. I love the children, they are an ample source of food and luvs. the boy child's face is level w/ mine, so i can just lick him and he never has to wash his face!!!
The only bad thing is that the fence is finished and try as i might i cant gnaw on it any more or run to the side and scare the bejeezers out of the meter dude. bummer. well there is still trash day, when i get to give all the nieghbors a shout out. they really like that, i cant tell by the way they look, all surprised and such.

4-10-2006

I am having such a fun day!!! Mom & Dad were outside doing yardwork and filling in all the mud holes I dug. Pappa fixed the fence I chewed thru and I hid his new wood and his tape measure. It was so fun to watch him look all over for it!!
But now I think its time to go inside, torture the kitty, and then play some video games with Pappa. Maybe have a little snack, i hope he breaks out the pretzels today, they rock!!!!
OMD (Oh My Dog) !!! Pappa thought it was 6:30 and fed me but it was really only 5:30!!!! if i look real sad, i bet i can get mom to feed me too!!!