Chillin

Happy summer, everybody.

Yesterday, I was THIS CLOSE to catching a squirrel.

That's all.

Squirrels!

Those little bastards! I'll get them all!

growin'

So, is it just me, or is there more of me these days? I was running around in circles around the house the other day, and when I went to take a corner, my hind end crashed into the wall and I wiped out. I could have sworn that hind end used to be closer to my front end.

Life is good - here's what I've been eating:
- Sticks
- Yogurt tubs
- Blueberries
- Cheese
- Ice Cream

Oh, and mostly dog food. But I am totally over dog food.

My house, eddie

Wassup dawgs?? This is Emmet, the Dachshund, in Austin.

My Dad told me today that several people had complained that I haven't been blogging enough. So I decided it was time to get back on the horse and update all my readers.

Honestly, I haven't blogged lately because we've had house guests. My cousin Pecos has been visiting, along with his dad Jeremy. Jeremy & Pecos just moved to Austin, and bought a house - but until they move in there, they're staying here.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm a generous dog. But I would like to make it clear to everyone reading this (this means YOU, pecos) that this is *my* house. Mine. My house, Pecos. My house, cat next door. My house, mailman.

Also, it's my bone. FYI. Both of them.

Now that we've got that straight - I'd like to update you on my week. This week I ate:
- 2 pairs of flip flops
- a wallet
- a $10 bill
- many sticks
- an offer letter
- lots of Pecos fur
- sticks

OK, expect more updates soon (and pictures, unless I can figure out how to eat the camera).

- M-to-the-Dawg

Beer + Cheese + Salami = Wo0T!

Last night, Mom & Dad took me for a beer at the Ginger Man. It was so great. I got to sit under the table as Mom and Dad *both* secretly fed me salami and cheese. I think they'd had one too many beer - and if that's the result of beer, I say, more beer!

Then we went for a walk on South Congress during First Thursday. There were too many people around, if you ask me. And why does everyone who walks by me insist on pointing at me and saying "Weiner!" I don't point at them and say "dude!", do I?

Today, Dad tells me we're going to be working on "recall". If that means more salami and cheese, then hail yeah!

Something Has Changed

So, last week, Mom & Dad took me to a terrible, horrible place. They called it the "Vet's Office." I shall henceforth refer to it as "The Emmet Torture Compound."

So they leave me off at TETC, and after several minutes of prodding and poking, I get very sleepy and decide to take a nap. I wake up groggy and in pain several hours later and .... well, I'm not sure, but *something* is not right. I can't quite sniff it out. There are some suspicious stitches on my nether region, but being as how I'm fairly long, I can't really get a close look.

Anyway, the days since then have been going great. I've been really working on Sit, Bed, Crate, Let's Go, and Down. We've made some progress, but Mom & Dad aren't picking them up as quickly as I'd like.

I also got some new "edible" bones this week. According to me, the rawhide bones I was diggin' on before were also fully "edible," but I guess Mom didn't like it when I swallowed a whole one and then puked it up. I thought it was pretty awesome. The new bones are pretty good. The latest one I got was made of grass or something. C'mon! Do I look like a hippie? Do I wear tie-dyes? No. I am a dog, and I want to eat MEAT. Enough with the grass bones.

I am bummed that I didn't make the Buda dog races, but I am still recovering from my time at the Torture Complex.

OK, that's all for now. Off to eat some flip flops.

I Win!

So, when I first showed up here in Austin, my folks decided I should sleep on the floor, not in the bed. They were quite diligent with putting me back on the floor after I jumped up.

Well, I'm happy to report that in under 2 weeks, I have completely broken their will, and I now regularly lounge in the bed. I'm also enjoying using Dad's laptop (editor's note: biting the screen).

Today we went to Austin Java for breakfast. There were some musicians there, playing jazz. Jazz is OK - for sleeping. Dad played piano for a while today and I slept right the hell through it.

After breakfast, we went on a walk in the Greenbelt here in Austin. The greenbelt is primarily brown and grey from my point of view, so I shall henceforth refer to it as the brown-and-grey-belt. We walked quite a long way and met several dogs. They were OK. I am faster and smarter than they are.

Later in the day, we went to a party in my park. Lots of folks from Mom's work were there, including some dogs, and some terrible small humans. They are evil.

OK, back to sleep! (Move over Mom, you're cramping my style.)

Steve Steve Bo-Beve

It's been an exciting week. Sorry I haven't been blogging much, but I've been doing lots of important stuff.

Over the weekend, I went to visit the grandparents in Galveston. That was fun - I managed to relieve myself in their beach house MANY times. Mom & Dad were mortified, but the grandparents took it in stride. I walked on the beach. Dead fish are WAY more exciting than I imagined. I got to hang out with another dog, Sarah, who lives with Emily and Matt. Good times.

This week, I'm back home on the "regimen". By which I mean the folks don't let me poop inside the house. That sucks. Would you like it if you had to go out on the lawn every time you had to do your thing? I didn't think so.

BUT - I am also learning to do some stuff I had no idea about, like sit and lie on my bed. My friend Steve Haynes came over with a bag of treats and he's teaching me how to behave like a grown-up dog. He's pretty cool, so I guess I will do what he says for now.

OK, gotta go nap in Dad's lap.

A New World Record

Today was a banner day for pooping. In one day, I managed to:

- Pee in Ian's car
- Poop in the bathroom
- Pee on Jill's computer AND the couch
- Poop in the bedroom

My strategy? Simple. No matter how many times they bring me outside, I try never to do my business out there, even when provoked with phermone laden doggie-pads. Then, I choose completely random times each day to make my "sneak attacks" so that they can't predict them. Even if they watch me 24/7, I can still find the 30-second break when their backs are turned to give them a little surprise.

They should make this into an Olympic sport!

Holy crap! I love bones!

Have you ever had a rawhide bone? What am I saying, of course you have. I'm sure I don't need to tell you how much they rule. But man, oh, man ... they rule a lot!

I've been working on one for a few days, and yesterday I baffled my family by burying it in the yard and then running around inside like a banshee. Good times.

They gave me a new bone (suckers!) and I've been working on it non-stop. I have some incredibly important projects related to this bone, which I'm not at liberty to discuss. Suffice it to say that this bone's days are numbered.

Yesterday I worked on the bone so hard that I lost 2 teeth! I didn't need those anyway - just dead weight.

Also, yesterday, I went to Petsmart for the first time. That place smells funny.