Adventures of a lead dog

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My Easter!

April 20th 2014 9:41 pm
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I'd like to thank the family of Jenny, Milo, Hobo, and Luna for the lovely egg they sent me.

I hope everyone had a nice Easter. Angel Zoom Smokey and myself had a good one. Mommy decided to let us celebrate with peanut butter. I'm not talking about a little bit of peanut butter, but A LOT of it. It was our big Easter treat that the nice bunny left for us. I was a bit miffed because Mommy didn't buy us a new toy or toyS, but she has a stupid excuse. She rented a storage unit and had the back of the truck filled with things to put into the unit on Friday, and she couldn't unload the stuff because the place is only open during office hours, and Friday was a holiday so they were closed. Since the truck was full, she isn't going to go to the store until tomorrow when the stuff is gone. I don't accept this excuse since she should have bought the toys in advance. On the other paw, I have made her feel so guilty that I'm sure we will get even better stuff because it is late. We had Chinese food for dinner. Angel Zoom Smokey was ready to eat from Mommy's plate. Angel is very helpful like that. I hope everyone had a nice Easter!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Enjoys Easter)

 

Every Dog Should Have His Day in Court!

April 18th 2014 9:43 am
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Conpawtulations to my pal, Anya, for being chosen as a diary pick today!

I want to share a bit of good news with my fellow dogs. There is a German Shepherd dog in New Jersey named IV Griner, who has been summoned for jury duty. Some of the humans are trying to claim that it was a typographical error because the clerk thought that IV was the first name, However, this dog is not fooled. You know it was intentional because even some of the humans know that dogs would be better jurors than the humans. In fact, we have the added ability to "sniff" out the truth. If I get a summons, you can be sure this dog will do my civic duty and report for jury duty as long as I'm not the president at the time. I am going to share the site so you can see it for yourself:

http://nottheworstnews.com/2014/04/16/breaking- dog-summonsed-to-jury-duty-does-this-mean-dogs-may-decide-wh ether-you-are-guilty-of-clicking-on-too-many-dog-stories/


Demon Flash Bandit (Dogs Should Have Their Day in Court!)

 

Birds Fly: Dogs Don't

April 16th 2014 9:12 am
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I ran across a piece of news today from Louisiana of which this dog approves. If a dog is to ride in the back of a pick-up truck on the Interstate highway, the dog has to be secured so he can't go flying out of the truck. We are not birds and should not be flying. As far as I'm concerned, this should be common sense thinking, but when dealing with the humans, you can never be too careful. They aren't smart like us dogs. Here is the link for those who want to read more about it:

https://mail.google.com/mail/?pli=1#inbox/1456ad0d033 71190

 

Public Service Announcement

April 13th 2014 8:25 am
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I see that the big news on the Internet is that there is a new virus affecting computers called the heartbleed virus. This is similar to the heartworm virus that has been annoying dogs for years. As a public service, I am going to tell you how to avoid this virus. Don't let your computer play or eat other computer's poop. I know this is common sense, but so many computers do as they please and don't listen to their humans--very much like us dogs. LOL Also, avoid contact with mosquitos, flies, and birds. Basically, if it flies, keep it away from your computer. With these guidelines, you should have no problem with the new virus. I'm sure some of those computer people will start talking about "virus protection", but if you follow my common sense rules, you shouldn't have anything to worry about.

Demon Flash Bandit (Public Service Announcement)

 

MY DINGO BONE

April 11th 2014 10:18 am
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Thanks to dogster for choosing my diary as a diary pick today!!! I also want to thank Hershey and Van Winkle for the blue ribbon they sent me a couple of days ago, and I loved the dingo bones Mr. Jack Freckles-Sir Licks a Lot sent me. I'm still trying to figure out how to get them out of the computer. Thanks for sending bones to me too. It is always nice to get on the computer and see new bones being given to me by my pals. I want to conpawtulate my pal, Buddy, who is also a diary pick today so I'm in good company!

For those of you who are wondering what I've been doing since my last diary entry, I am going to tell you. Who am I kidding? I'm sure all the dogs are wondering what I've been doing. Mommy got us a new dingo bone last night which is called a dental mega bone. Angel Zoom Smokey proceeded to eat hers immediately, and she said it was delicious. I am still carrying mine with me everywhere. I believe that a good bone is best savored. I make sure Angel sees me with and. I lick it and smell it and then I guard it. Annoying Angel is almost as much fun as eating the bone. I'm sure the dogs who aren't "only" dogs know what I mean. When you get a treat and can torment your fellow dog with that treat, life is good!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog With Bone)

 

I'm an Inspirational Dog

April 9th 2014 10:10 am
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Once again, I have been given the honor of being chosen as a diary pick. I have to attribute my many honors due to my howlingly good looks, and to writing a diary that barks information that is crucial to the life of dogs. For example, my last diary entry covered the story of my horrible neglect that Angel got a new collar while I did not. Some dogs would have just taken such abuse, but I managed to get myself out of the old collar so the humans would have to buy me a new one. I have been told by many dogs who read my diary entries that I have been an inspiration in their lives. One dog told me that he was hungry and wanted some human food. He read my entry about counter surfing and helped himself. The steak was good, and he was quite sure the humans were okay with the hot dogs they had to eat. After all, he is the family dog, and as such, deserved the steak. Obviously, they didn't eat his kibble. Anyway, thanks to the dogs at dogster for choosing my diary as a diary pick today. Rest assured, I will continue to inspire dogs everywhere to properly train their humans!

Demon Flash Bandit (Inspirational Dog)

 

Time for a New Collar

April 7th 2014 10:19 am
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I was promised a new collar after the incident in which Angel Zoom Smokey got a new collar and I was NEGLECTED!!! Mommy promised to get me a new one too, but it had been 3 whole days and she had not gotten to the pet store to get my new collar. Therefore, I had to take matters into my own paws, and I managed to get out of the collar I had for years. The humans still don't know how I managed it, but they saw me do it. Mommy should know better. Many years ago, she tried to put a rabbit leash on Flash the bunny (my first pet), and he ran through the house making noise (which is every unusual for a rabbit) and he got the leash off all by himself. He told me his secret in case I ever needed such knowledge. Anyway, Mommy got her tail to the pet store, and got me a new collar. I like it. It is leather and Angel said it smells like a dead animal. I'm hoping it is a dead bird! Sometimes if a dog wants something done, he has to make the humans do it.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Has a New Collar)

 

Giant Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich!

April 6th 2014 1:18 pm
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I haven't been on here in a couple of days, but according to Mommy's email, I was a diary pick a couple of days ago. I don't mean to brag, but when you get as many honors as this dog, you get to the point where you can't keep up with all of them. LOL

Today I have a site to share with you involving a giant 51 foot peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I don't know about the rest of you, but this dog is going there to get my share! Here is the link:

http://on.aol.com/video/students-build-51-foot-pban dj-sandwich-518183294?hp=1&playlist=127173&icid=maing-grid7% 7Cmain5%7Cdl15%7Csec3_lnk3%26pLid%3D461043

See you there!

Demon Flash Bandit (Planning to Eat a Sandwich)

 

Typing-- Good for Pain Relief

March 30th 2014 3:54 pm
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I would like to conpawtulate my pal, Doo, for being chosen as a diary pick today. Also, I want to conpawtulate my pal, Puff, for being chosen a couple of days ago.

I bet some of you are wondering why I haven't written a lot lately. My secretary, Mommy, has been in more pain than usual so she says it is hard to sit too long at the computer when the pain is bad. Yeah, I know. She should realize that my diaries and blog are far more important then pain. I just hope she gets with the program and learns to "type it out".

Demon Flash Bandit (Important Dog)

 

Historical Facts

March 26th 2014 11:33 am
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I would like to thank the nice dogs at dogster for choosing my diary as a diary pick yesterday. I couldn't write a diary because I had to get on an airplane and do a quick tour for all the dogs who bought tickets to my "diary reading tour". It was so nice to meet so many of you in pawson. I'd like to thank the family of Sammy Jo, Toby Jo, and Joey Jo for the St. Patrick's Day hat and Riley for the 4 leaf clover. I am already lucky that I have so many wonderful pals. I also want to thank the family of Charlie, Harry and Lucy for the blue ribbon. Hershey and Van Winkle also sent me a blue ribbon. I guess I'll be having to buy a new cabinet if I get many more blue ribbons. Maybe Mommy will buy us a bigger house to hold all the cabinets.
Mommy has been watching a television program called "Drunk History". This shows the danger of allowing humans to relate historical facts because they tend to get them wrong even when they are sober. I'll admit the show can be funny which might explain why it is on Comedy Central. I am annoyed since Mommy just finished watching one about Teddy Roosevelt and the Rough Riders. If a stuffed bear can be president, then why is it that I have yet to win an election? Wouldn't a dog make a better president than a stuffed bear? I think only dogs should be allowed to vote and that would make things better for everyone....milkbones for everyone!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Historical Facts)

 
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