Adventures of a lead dog

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The bunnies made the birds give back the snow

April 6th 2007 6:55 am
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There were snow flurries again yesterday, and it was nice and cold-just the way I like it. When I did my "neighborhood watch" at the window, I saw some snow on the ground!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Since it is Good Friday, I think my friends, the bunnies, must have made the birds give some snow back. I don't know how they did it because bunnies aren't scary at all-but I'm not asking questions. I'm just enjoying the snow. Maybe the birds are afraid they won't get Easter baskets if the bunnies aren't happy with them. I can't wait to see what I get for Easter. The bunny always brings me toys. I wish he would add a chocolate bunny because I've tasted chocolate (sometimes it is just sitting in the kitchen cabinet where a dog can open the cabinet door and get it), but Mommy has this thing about me helping myself to chocolate. I don't know how many times I've been walking through the house with a tasty candy bar and then comes the "Mommy patrol" to take it with some lame excuse about chocolate being bad for dogs. I wish Mommy hadn't had 3 boys before me. It makes it hard for me to get by with anything. For those of you out there who have never dealt with huskies, we are very resourceful when it comes to getting what we want. Mommy buys me yogurt drops made for dogs in chocolate flavor, and I LOVE them. My pet bunny used to get bunny yogurt drops, and I liked them too. The dried mango and papapa the rabbit got are favorites of mine too. The fruit tastes so sweet and good yet it is crunchy like a rawhide bone. Mommy said she couldn't give the rabbit a treat without me being there getting one too. Can I help it if I have extra good hearing? Besides, I hate dog food, but all the rabbit's food was good. Mommy couldn't feed the rabbit without me munching some of the food. He ate gourmet food with dried carrots and veggies which I really liked. My friend Flash died when I was about a year old because he was 10 years old when I came here. My new friend, Tinker Belle, died also because Mommy adopted her when she was older, and Mommy was never sure how old she was, but no one wanted her so Mommy took her for whatever time she had left. I've got to go back to my watch and check out the "snow". Demon

 

EVIL BIRDS SHOULD NOT BE PETS

April 7th 2007 7:22 am
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My arch enemy, the birds, are being sold at pet store as pets? What's next-pet bees or pet mosquitoes? I know you humans aren't the smartest creatures around, but even with your limited intelligence, you should be able to understand that birds are EVIL!!!!Mommy went into the store to buy me treats, and she was thinking about buying a baby Dutch bunny-and then she mentioned that they also sold birds. BIRDS. Yes, your read correctly-BIRDS. I was outraged that those little snow thieves are being sold as pets. Is there no limit to the greed of businesses in the world that they would try to make money pawning off birds as pets? I am too sad to write anymore today. HOWL HOWL SOB SOB Demon Flash Bandit "Sir Dirty Paws"

 

HAPPY EASTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

April 8th 2007 6:24 am
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Today is Easter which means I get my Easter toys. I was so happy because I got a stuffed octopus with squeakys in each leg and another one in his "body". I LOVE any toy with more than one squeaky. The squeakys are what make the toy wonderful. You can remove them and then you become a squeaky toy. However squeakys, in my opinion, should be made from more durable material because, once a dog bites into them a couple of times, they quit squeaking. I hate it when they quit squeaking, but they are still fun. Sometimes I play ball with them because they are easy to throw. I got some chewy treats too. One of them looks like a rib, but I can chew on it for days. I love my chewy toys. I can spend an hour or two with a good rawhide bone.
The bunny was good to me this year. Of course, as I've mentioned in other diary entrys, I am friends with the bunnies. The bunny outdid himself this year because we have snow-even more than yesterday. I am so thrilled. Maybe he is happy Mommy planted 3 apple trees, and one of them is a Royal Gala tree. My pet bunnies loved Royal Gala apples. Mommy only planted the other 2 varieties because you have to have 3 different types of apple trees. Whatever his reasons, the bunny is tops in my book. WOLF WOLF WOLF I hope the bunny was good to the rest of you dogs out there. HOWL HOWL
Demon Flash Bandit "The Deemster"

 

Snow is Gone. SOB SOB

April 9th 2007 10:33 am
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I have to report that all my beautiful snow has melted, and I am annoyed. I guess after those evil birds got their Easter baskets, the bunnies could no longer keep them from stealing snow. At least I got another couple of days of lovely snow thanks to the bunnies. I hear them outside singing and taunting me. I hate birds.
Mommy went to see Firehouse Dog last night. I think dogs should be allowed to go to the theatre just like humans. We enjoy a good movie too. They wouldn't even let me in to see Eight Below, and I look a lot like Max. I want to see Fast and FURious. That sounds like a good movie. It must be about a husky because we are fast and furry. I bet the humans who run things are conspiring with the birds to annoy the dog and that is why we can't go to the theatres and stores.
I hope all you dogs out there had a nice Easter. HOWL HOWL HOWL

 

April 10th 2007 6:30 am
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I don't want to sound like I'm complaining, but I am-complaining that is. I had a good Easter. I got cool new toys and chewy treats. However, don't most children get baskets with chocolate bunnies? I didn't. I didn't even get Swedish Fish or Mike and Ikes. I bet my Mommy told the bunnies not to give me candy. Do you see what I have to live with? NO CANDY-AT ALL-NOT EVEN ONE PIECE-NOT A CHOCOLATE BUNNY-NO MARSHMELLOW EGGS-NOTHING WITH THE SWEETNESS OF SUGAR. Can you believe it. What happened to tradition? What happened to fairness? I've asked before. I really need you computer geek dogs to get in touch with me on the candy issue. I want to order it to arrive in plain brown wrap with Demon on it so Mommy will give it to me because she doesn't know it is candy so there is no reason for me not to have it. I still haven't heard from you "computer dogs" on this matter. Please hurry. I really need some candy.

 

No candy, missing candy, or STOLEN CANDY???????????????

April 11th 2007 5:37 am
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Mommy went to a movie tonight, and as usual, the dog isn't allowed in the theatre. I get sick of the amount of discrimination against us dogs, and yet I never hear anyone on the news sticking up for us. Again, I blame the birds. I haven't yet found a reason to blame them; but, give me some time, I'll think of something. When I do, I'll share my insight in a future diary entry. I had Arbys for dinner tonight, and they were out of dog biscuits. I forgave them because I'm getting roast beef anyway, but they better get with it and order some dog biscuits. Mommy is not buying dog biscuits like she used to because she is afraid they might make me sick. I don't think she trusts the pet food industry at the moment. I'm perfectly willing to accept candy instead. I don't know why Mommy hasn't thought of that. I've covered the "candy is good for you because it tastes good" topic so I won't go into that again. I will point out (in case Mommy is reading my diary) that there is no candy scare.
My argument (for the umpteenth time) dog food-bad, candy-good. Maybe that is language simple enough for Mommy to understand. I know my good friends, the bunnies would want to leave me Easter candy. I think someone in my "family" ate my candy before I could get to it. If I find the culprit, I'm going to get in touch with that Killer Bunny in one of the Monty Python movies, and have his take care of that person. Family or not, I take my candy VERY SERIOUSLY. I think I'll go take fingerprints of my Easter basket. There had better be nothing but bunny paw prints.
Demon Flash Bandit A.K.A. Sir Dirty Paws

 

Who has been into my Easter basket?

April 12th 2007 9:09 am
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Hi,
We had some snow again yesterday. This has been utterly delightful weather. It would still be better if my family would take my "vote" to move to Alaska seriously.
When I left off my entry yesterday, I was planning to check the Easter basket for finger prints. Yes, I keep a fingerprint kit hand just for such emergencies. Would Batman be caught without shark repellent? (You have to watch the original Adam West as Batman tv movie to appreciate the reference). Anyway, back to the Easter basket enigma, the basket was clean-only bunny paw prints. Then I realized something-my family might have had enough sense to wear gloves when they (allegedly) stole my candy-if there was candy). I never would have thought my family would be smart enough to think of gloves. After all, these are the same people who have not yet realized how evil birds are. I wonder if the birds could have taken my candy. I've got to go check my basket for claw prints. I bet those evil birds are behind this injustice.

 

Officially, the birds stole my candy

April 13th 2007 9:08 am
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Hello, time for my new diary update. When I left off yesterday, I was planning to check my Easter basket for claw prints. Yes, I found them. The birds are officially responsible for stealing my candy. Mommy got me 3 new toys yesterday so I think it is better to have the birds responsible for the theft because I hate them anyway. WINK WINK I know some of you dogs are thinking-the humans took the candy and he is too cowardly to blame them; but in all fairness, do the birds buy me toys? They are useless, evil creatures who should not be allowed to live. If blaming them settles the issue, I'm okay with that. Speaking of birds, I like to look cool so I say things like I like chicks. I am referring, of course, to girl dogs in a cool, hip way (to you smart aleck teenagers out there-that is very update language because my Mommy said it was and she is so old in dog years that it is off the chart so she should know all the latest lingo). Anyway, some idiot thought it meant I like "birds" because "chickens are birds" . I DO NOT NOR HAVE I EVER LIKED BIRDS. THEY ARE EVIL AND THEY SHOULD BE EXTERMINATED. I hope that clears up the subject because I don't appreciate being thought of as a "bird lover". My stupid Mommy might buy one as a pet. I've told you humans aren't the smartest life form on the planet. I hope every dog out there is having a good day. Demon Flash Bandit

 

Going for a walk and my opinion of obedience classes

April 14th 2007 9:50 am
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Guess what? My stupid human brother, Jeff took me for a "walk" yesterday. He actually fell for my sad, "I'd like to go for a walk look" so he took me for a walk to the lake down the street. My family usually refuses to take me for walks. Why? I think it is because they are lazy, but they have a different viewpoint. Their viewpoint is not only biased, it shows just how stupid they are. First of all, I AM THE LEAD DOG. That means that I choose where we go. It it happens to be in the forest to chase a bird, and the human isn't able to run fast enough to keep up with me, that is their problem. They can let go of the leash. I'm okay with that concept. Anyway, we got to the lake. Then I had to come home. Again, it wasn't my idea to return home. I could have stayed on our little walking adventure for hours and hours. The main problem with walks is that I have my teeth on the leash, and I am playing tug of war (I'm the champion of tug of war) with it. Jeff is supposed to let me be in charge or let me go free-either option is okay with me. According to my family, we huskys are a very stubborn breed (I think determined is a nicer way to put it). Anyway, after about 10 minutes of walking me while I played tug of war with the leash, Jeff picked me up and carried me home. He told Mommy that I was cholking myself to death because I wouldn't give up pulling on the leash. The truth is I like being carried. I don't have to walk and it is fun. Last year on vacation, Jeff had to carry me through the lobby of hotels. In one hotel in Knoxville, there were children who noticed that I looked like Max in Eight Below (it had just come out on dvd). I was a star, and I LOVE ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!! Stars get special treatment, don't they? By the way, do any of you other dogs have to put up with hearing about a past dog that was "so well behaved". My Mommy always tells me that her German Shorthair Pointer was more obedient than me and what a nice dog he was. I don't like to put down a fellow dog, but HE WAS A LOSER. They even fed him dog food, and he put up with it. I'm not criticizing you Pointers and sporting dogs, but show a little back bone and start becoming the boss. I run this house, and my humans had better not forget it. The problem is I am dealing with stupid, stubborn humans, and I hate to admit it; but I haven't got them trained yet. Mommy keeps telling me that I'm going to go to obedience classes if I don't learn to cooperate more, but the truth is I don't think they would help. I've done all I can with these humans and I don't think a trainer can do much to help them learn to do what they are told. They are slow learners. I don't want them to go to class and fail because I love them so I just give them one of my cute looks and take a nap. Do other dogs out there have to deal with humans who don't do what you tell them to; and if so, how did you train them? Demon Flash Bandit

 

THe cookie was calling me

April 15th 2007 6:27 am
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Howl Howl. Yesterday was a good day. I managed to get a sugar cookie, and it was so good. Just thinking about it makes me happy. I was in the kitchen, and the cookies just happened to be in a spot that I could reach if I climbed a bit so I tried it. The result: success. I was careful, and I only knocked a couple thngs off the table while I was helping myself. Obviously, I am a very good (fantastic, incredible) dog. A lot of dogs would have annoyed their owners endlessly about the treat. I helped myself. My family is so lucky to have me. I bet Mommy's German Shorthair Pointer didn't help himself. What is so good about him?
Demon Flash Bandit-the bandit part comes in handy for cookie missions

 
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