Jigsaw Puzzles: Stupid Way to Spend Time

Thanks to my pals Hershey and Winkie for the flag on my page in honor of Memorial Day. It makes me proud to have it on my page. Conpawtulations to my pal, Ruby Dust, who is a diary pick today.

Today my blog is about the zombie attack in Miami, Florida. For those of you who find zombies interesting, go to my blog:
www.demonflashbandit.blogspot.com

As you might expect, I am going to mention some human behavior that makes absolutely no sense to us dogs (which of course, is most of their behavior LOL). Today I am going to discuss jigsaw puzzles. The humans take a nice photo or picture, and then they cut it up into a bunch of little pieces and put it back together. Of course, it never looks quite as good as it did before they cut it up because you can still see the places where it was cut. Why do they do this? I have no idea. It can take them hours or even days to put it together, and when they are done, they have the same picture that they would have had if they hadn't cut it up in the first place. It makes absolutely no sense to me, but I guess it makes sense to them. I want to go on record now stating that, if I am elected President, I will outlaw all jigsaw puzzles because they are stupid. You don't see a dog putting a jigsaw puzzle together. That time could be better spent chewing a bone or taking a nap. Remember, a vote for me is a vote against stupid jigsaw puzzles. Demon Flash Bandit for President!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Thinks Jigsaw Puzzles are Stupid)

Justice for Abandoned Dogs

I hope everyone is having a good holiday and enjoying good food...one of the best things about Memorial Day in this dog's opinion. I want to thannk all the humans and dogs who have served their country. I saw an article that I was going to share with my readers about heroic animals, but it included a bird and you know how I feel about birds. Therefore, I can't share it with my readers.

I am going to share an article about someone who dropped off dozens of crated dogs at a park. If anyone knows who abandoned these wonderful dogs, feel free to bite them. Then turn them over the the humans for their justice. Here is the link if you want to read about the dogs:

http://losalamitos.patch.com/articles/dozens-of-cra ted-dogs-abandoned-at-park?ncid=edlinkuspatc00000006&icid=ma ing-grid7%7Cmaing11%7Cdl12%7Csec3_lnk3%26pLid%3D164737

I hope everyone is having a nice weekend, and be sure and enjoy those barbeques. I think my humans are going to order pizza.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Wants Justice)

Dogs Need an Amusement Park!

I have just read about a tropical fruit amusement park near Miami, Florida. This made me very mad. I don't think fruit needs to be amused. From what I've seen of fruit, it just sits around and either gets eaten or it rots. I really don't see the point of opening an amusement park for its enjoyment. I think, once again, this proves just how stupid the humans are. They open an amusement park for fruit and not for dogs. Even opening a park for cats would make more sense. Cats at least move around and do things. Fruit just sits around doing nothing. I know that fruit being lazy might make the humans upset since they seem to be so big on this "work" idea of theirs, but I don't think that opening a park is going to make the fruit any more active. Fruit is probably just lazy by nature. I think it is about time us dogs put our paw into the humans face and tell them that they had better build an amusement park for us. It would be awesome. There could be Birdland, where a dog can chase and kill birds. Perhaps a tilt a dish so that treats drop in front of us when we are walking around the park. Dog size cars that we can drive would be nice. We could even have a roller coaster that we could belt the squirrels into and watch them take the ride of their little rodent lives. Yes, I think an amusement park for dogs is an idea whose time has come. How do the rest of you feel about it?
By the way, here is the link if you want to read about the tropical fruit park:
http://sounddiscovery.msn.com/ultra/content/fader-loc al-ultra/fruit_spice_park.aspx?WT.mc_id=msnhp

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Wants to Visit a DOG Amusement Park)

Falcon Attack!!!!!!

I have been warning the humans repeatedly that birds are evil, but as all us dogs know, the humans don't tend to listen to our wisdom. However, I have a video to share with you today that will show just how horrible birds can be. Here is the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpxQCpmU9v0

This video shows construction workers who are having to carry shields with them to work because they are being attacked by falcons. I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't think this bird behavior should not be tolerated. In addition, a bird dropped a white bird bomb on Mommy's vehicle. I'm sure that bird knows that Mommy does not like to have to get out and wash the car so he or she was just doing it to be annoying. How long are we dogs going to sit back and let the birds get by with such behavior, and when will the humans realize that birds should not live?!

Demon Flash Bandit (Bird Alert)

No Obedience School

My thanks go out to my pal, Finley, for sending me a rose on my page. It smells almost as good as bacon, and that is a real compliment coming from me or any other dog!

Today I am writing a about a complaint I have with my humans. When they leave the house for a few minutes (usually when Mommy goes to drop Jeff off at work or pick him up), Angel Zoom Smokey and myself are supposed to go into one of the bedrooms so that neither of us manages to run outside and get away. We huskies like to run, and we are known for our ability to run faster than the humans. I might add that if it were up to Mommy, she could be outrun by a snail or a turtle because she can barely walk. She has to use a cane when she walks so running is not one of her strengths. Anyway, this is not a fair system because I'm a good dog and have never tried to run even when given a chance, and the humans didn't make me go to the bedroom until the fateful day that Angel Zoom Smokey arrived here with her "I'm going to zoom everywhere I'm not supposed to go" attitude. Therefore, I have become very stubborn the past few days about going to the bedroom and insist on bidding the humans farewell, and greeting them at the front door. I have become so impossible about this that I heard Jeff say that I might need to go to obedience school. I was insulted by this comment. I am not a puppy, and I think I am a lot smarter than the average human. I fail to see why I should have to go to school when the humans are the ones who need obedience school. How many of them do what their dogs tell them to do? I am going to have to write my Congressdog about this. I am tired of the humans thinking that they are in charge.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who is Actually in Charge Around Here)

Possible Embarrassing Photo!

I have a wonderful frisbee on my page thanks to my pal Freckles who sent it to me to make my hurt paw feel better. There is nothing to make a dog feel better than to have a new toy to play with. It takes a dog's mind off the pain. Thanks Freckles for thinking of me!

Jeff is outside mowing the yard, and I have been howling for him to come in. When the humans have a day off, they are supposed to spend it with the dog-not mowing the stupid yard. I don't care if the grass is high or not. It just makes it more interesting when a dog goes outside.

Mommy caught Angel Zoom Smokey and myself kissing this morning. I am going to have to check the camera to make sure she didn't get any photos. That could be a very embarrassing photo on my page....showing that I don't hate Angel Zoom smokey. The humans are so annoying!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dealing With Stupid Humans, as Usual)

Angel Zoom Smokey: Bad Dog!

I'd like to thank the family of Walker, Alexandra, Molly, Pookah, and more for the heart on my page, and to all who sent prayers and power of the paw for my hurt paw. It is still bothering me, and Mommy thinks I am hurting it by licking it too much (I do that from time to time). However, she said that if it doesn't get better soon, I will have to go to the vet to have her check it which is silly in my opinion. If I won't let my humans see it, does she really think I'm gooing to let the vet see it? Mommy told me she might put the satelite dish on my neck, but that is not going to happen....not if I can do anything about it, and I happen to be a very stubborn dog! I don't need to pick up space alien communications anyway!

On the subject of my hurt paw, I am so mad at Angel Zoom Smokey. She gave me a puppy slap of justice yesterday. Mommy asked me if she could look at my paw, and I answered my usual "no way", by showing her my teeth which is my way of saying, "don't get any ideas--I'm in charge here". Angel was sitting on the bed next to Mommy and she reached her paw over and slapped me and told me to be nice to Mommy. Honestly, I have no idea why I put up with that dog. I had no plans to bite Mommy, but it was just my way of letting her know that I didn't approve of her plans to look at my paw. A dog has to let a human know how he feels, doesn't he? I am going to put her name in the newspaper in the free dog section. That will teach her to puppy slap me, Demon Flash Bandit! I'm sure some human will be stupid enough to take her. Mine did!

Demon Flash Bandit (It's My Paw and No One Can See It)

Paw Still Hurts

Thank you to my pals, Hershey and Van Winkie, for the blue ribbon on my page. I love looking at my cabinets full of blue ribbons. It makes me happy.

Now that the ComicCon is over, I can get back to my usual diary entries. I missed a couple of days because I was so busy. The bad news is that my paw is still bothering me. Mommy can't see anything wrong when I let her see it--for about 5 seconds. I hate it when the humans try to look at or touch my paws. However, yesterday there was some blood so Mommy has been trying to get a look at it again, but I refuse to allow it. It is my paw, and the humans have no business looking at it. If I want them to see it, I'll take a photo, and give them the photo. Anyway, Mommy gave me low dose aspirin and I have been feeling a bit better. Mommy can tell because I cry when my paw hurts, and I haven't been crying as much. I bet there is a bird involved in this somewhere-probably sticking pins in a Demon Flash Bandit doll's paw. Those birds can't be trusted!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Hurt Paw)

Dead Bird on HIghway!!!

I am pleased to be a diary pick today. As usual, it is a major honor for me!!! I didn't get to write again yesterday because I went with my other brother to the ComicCon. You know how lost the humans are if a dog doesn't go with them places. I had something really exciting to tell all my pals which has made the wait in writing my diary more difficult than usual. It all started the day before yesterday when I hopped into the car to go with Mommy. Right there in the road near our house, was a dead bird!!!! A car had run over it and I got so excited. I wanted to go and examine it, but since it was in the middle of a busy street, Mommy said it would be too dangerous. I think it was just an excuse because she has said the same kind of things about dead animals I find laying in our yard, and there is no traffic in our yard! Anyway, it made me feel good to see that some human had managed to run over the bird so some of them have some sense and listen to their dogs. If only all the humans could learn to listen to their dogs as well!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dead Bird)

Demon Flash Bandit at the MI ComicCon

I'd like to thank my pal, Biscotte, for the lovely rabbit gift! I don't chase rabbits because, as a puppy, my best friend was a Dutch bunny named Flash. We got along so well that I was given my middle name in honor of the bunny! I don't care for dog food, but the rabbit's food was great. I particularly liked his treats like his yogurt drops and his dried mango pieces.

I didn't even get to check dogster yesterday because I went to the Michigan ComicCon. Normally, they don't allow dogs, but since many of the humans dress in costume, I went as Superdog. They had no idea they were allowing an actual dog to enter. I really fooled them! I suppose they don't expect a dog to have blue eyes which has been an advantage for me when sneaking past the humans. I had a great time. I got Peter Tork from the Monkees autograph and "Johnny Fever" from WKRP in Cincinnati (a show that was on a long time ago, but I've seen it on dvd). My brother got a lot more autographs. I kept telling him that the money could be better spent on dingo bones, but he didn't listen. It is one thing for me to buy things, but the humans' money should all be spent on the first dog in the family. Sorry, Angel Zoom Smokey, that does not include you---it is important to make the distinction or she will be wanting MY dingo bones. I am sorry I didn't write a diary yesterday, and I worried that, if I was a diary pick, I wouldn't know and would be disappointing my loyal fans. I'm sorry you didn't get to read my words of wisdom yesterday, but I hope everyone survived a day without a Demon Flash Bandit diary, and I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! The important thing is that this dog enjoyed the ComicCon!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Went to ComicCon)