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Adventures of a lead dog

I would like to thank Biscotte for the wonderful birthday cupcake on my page. It was delicious! Today is my birthday. I am now 6 years old which means if I were a human, I would be old enough for school. Yeah, it takes them that long to be ready to start actual school. They have day care earlier than that and something called kindergarden, but that just teaches them how to take care of plants, and we dogs think it is a waste of nap time, but it keeps the human puppies busy, which is a good thing. Puppies, whether human or dog, tend to be overly active and they annoy us older dogs who just want to enjoy a good nap. I am doing the husky dance because that bag of new dog toys were for my birthday. I was wondering why I didn't get them immediately. The way I see it, they could have bought more for my actual birthday. Why make a dog wait?

TurkeyKilling Day is next week and my birthday is today. It isn't summertime outside so the weather is getting cooler. November is a good month if you ask this dog.

The town of North Pole, Alaska will be allowed to continue their answering of letters to Santa. I'm sure that is good news for children everywhere. I know Angel Zoom Smokey always has her letter ready for Santa--which is asking for about 5 million dollars worth of stuff. She is one greedy puppy.

It is deer hunting season here, and this dog would prefer that the hunters would be out shooting at turkeys and birds. Deer do not steal our snow and cause global warming. Again, the humans are missing the point of hunting--to make the world a better place for us dogs.

I've got to go and start my partying. You put your right paw in, you put your right paw out, and then you start wagging your tail......

Demon Flash Bandit (Birthday Dog)

Museum Of Trash--A Museum That All Dogs Would Love to Visit

I'm sorry I didn't write a diary entry yesterday. You know how it is when you have to deal with the humans. They get "busy" doing things that don't matter to a dog. Yesterday was a perfect example of that--the washing machine had to be repaired. It needed a new belt which, once again is dumb because I've never seen that washer wear a belt and why should it--it doesn't wear pants so why would it need a belt? The machine washes clothes. Yes, my fellow dogs, if it isn't dumb enough that the humans are always batheing themselves--or showering themselves, they also bathe their clothing too. I know it isn't their fault that they don't have a lovely covering of fur, but either you have fur or you don't--clothing is a poor substitute for fur. Anyway, that is the stupid reason that my diary entry didn't get written. Mommy, my secretary, was busy with other things. Sure, the washer only took a few minutes, but she had an entire day of doing useless stuff--I guess it makes the humans feel good, but I have no idea why it would.

My brother lives in an apartment near our house, and yesterday, when Mommy stopped by there, a raccoon was in front and he didn't mind the humans at all. I think he must have been a city raccoon because a country raccoon would probably run away, but the city ones know the humans are generally harmless.

Pawnation had a story about a dog and a cheetah being best friends at the Cincinnati Zoo. I wonder how the dog feels about being in a zoo. It wouldn't be bad if the zoos didn't have those "don't feed the animals" signs. It would be kind of cool to have the humans throwing treats to you all day, but the humans are always interfering with our fun.

As you know, I'm always watching out for interesting things to report to my doggy pals, and today I have a great one for you. I know I've mentioned various museums and places of interest to visit, but imagine how excited I was to find that there is a museum that any dog would be proud and happy to visit! That museum is located in Hartford, Ct, and it is the Trash Museum. That is right dogs, finally some humans with sense realized the enormous contribution that trash makes to our society. The museum even has a fun game that you can play that is called, find the rat. I have mentioned many museums and tourist attractions in my diary entries, but this one has to be my all time favorite. I would love to visit and play where is the rat. I know they use a rubber rat, but wouldn't it be an improvement to the game if they used a real rat? I know us dogs would love it. It would be so cool if they would add a "tunnel through the trash" game for the dogs that visit, and believe me, when words gets out, dogs will visit. I bet the museum gift shop has all sorts of cool things for a dog to buy--half eaten sandwiches and other foods, old carpet, bones, the list is endless. I bet dogs are lined up to to shop there. Be sure that you see the Trashasaurus Rex while you are there. I saw the photo and it is a very cool exhibit--and to think Jeff went to the Carnegie Museum in Pittsuburgh when he was young to see the dinosaur bones there and they weren't nearly as cool as the Trashasaurus. I doubt that the humans at the Carnegie Museum would let a dog gnaw on the dinosaur bones anyway, and they are probably old and dried out. Since most humans vacation in the summertime, you have plenty of time to try to talk your humans into taking you there. The admission is only $2.00==a bargain if you ask this dog.

Demon Flash Bandit (Garbage--My Kind of Museum)

Cowbells, Howling, and A Dish to the Head

I would like to thank Sandra Marie for the delicious pie on my page, and the family of Oreo, Rocky, and Toby Lucian for the delicious bone which I have no plans of sharing with Angel Zoom Smokey.

Mommy was watching the dvd of The Best of Will Ferrell yesterday, and normally, he is a very funny guy. In fact, I couldn't agree more with one of the segments about the Blue Oyster Cult's song, Don't Fear the Reaper. That song needed those cow bells. I might add that a couple of husky howls would not have hurt the song, but I'm amazed that a bunch of oysters even realized that it needed cowbells. I have heard that oysters aren't the smartest fish in the ocean--if they are fish, I'm not exactly sure what they are. I'm not a marine biologist. However, I"m not bringing this up to discuss how many cowbells a song needs. There was a segment that annoyed this dog and it was a commercial with him selling his dog training program, Dissing Your Dog. I'll admit that, like most dogs, I do appreciate irony, but when he told the dog that the Palm wasn't taking reservations, and that there was a new chef at another restaurant and although the dog would prefer prime rib, he would have to eat the Alpo, Demon Flash Bandit got mad. I now have a human training video system that I have named, Dishing the Human. I know you might be thinking, why is it Dishing instead of dissing. We dogs may appreciate irony, but a good dish to the head is often far more effective when dealing with the humans. When the humans tries the dissing the dog method and suggests you eat Alpo for dinner, you take the dish in your front paws and whack the human in the head with it. Sure, it will take a lot of tries before the humans gets it, but eventually they will get it because humans appreciate not getting hit in the head with a dish. Take it from Demon Flash Bandit, training the humans is hard, but it is worth the effort. I have to go now. My human is bringing me Burger King......Good human, good human.....

Demon Flash Bandit (Dishing the Human---Available in Limited Quantities--Act now)