Nicknames: My call name is Bailey. Other nicknames are Bailey-Boo, Bail, Killer, Little Man, and Boo. When I'm bad I can be called Little @$!&%, No, or Tch! (Thanks Dog Whisperer.)
Birthday: March 18th 2005
Likes: Playing, being outside, sunny spots, being under the sofa in the basement, getting treats, chewing on things, getting picked up, kissing people, getting petted, getting held, getting attention of any kind- good or bad, barking at anything, being a brat
Pet-Peeves: People who ignore me, getting woken up, anything that has to do with "training," The Cleaning Crew, when Grandma leaves, toys with nubs, the hated V-E-T, the garage door, when people take my toys, the recliner, not getting what I want right when I want it
Favorite Toy: My current faves are my squeaky toy monster called Mr. Greenie and my beloved squeaky and soft Ducky (proper name- Mr. Toodles- how stupid is that?), who may soon be needing a replacement, as he's looking a lottle the worse for wear.
Favorite Food: It's impossible to choose just one thing! I love turkey hotdog bits (my people use them as treats), any other kinds of dog treats, not dog food, things on the floor, bugs, and basically any kind of human food I can get my paws on.
Favorite Walk: All around the block- the longer the better. Everything interests me.
Best Tricks: Standing on my hind legs, barking at everything that moves, winking when you stare at me long enough, burping as loud as a person, and peeing on rugs- all on my own command. For human tricks, I've just about got Sit-Lay, and Stop begging.
Arrival Story: My new owners got me for free. I could have been a show dog if I wanted to (I have the looks, the good markings, and the bloodline- my father Cawfield Zorro was a retired show dog) but I chose the quiet life instead. My other owner got me from a breeder far away in Missouri (My mother was Shaggy Dee and my dad was Cawfield Zorro) for $3,ooo- woah, I'm expensive. What a chaotic household that place was! I was confined to one level of the house and left outside for hours at a time. I was never properly trained from the start, for all The Woman there advertised me as "Fully Housebroken." The Man was the one who fed me and played with me there, so I naturally started to like men better than women. I still do. The Woman owned about 20 cats- no kidding, it was about 20- who I loved to tourture day and night. When she gave me away, she said that she planned to get another cat to replace me. The Woman gave me away because she was afraid her little kids would hurt me. Believe me, they had already traumatized me for good. Grandma has a feeling that they fed me table scraps, because when they first got me, I begged at the table. I was broken of that habit quickly, thankfully. They must have taken away my toys, because when I first arrived at my house, I didn't know what to do with my bone, but was very overprotective of it. I've learned how to play and play nice since then- most of the time anyway. I also still flinch away whenever someone sits on the stairs and tries to grab me, so my humans believe that the kids definitely pulled me down the stairs many a time. I'm very nervous and overreact to everything; but then, maybe I'm just a drama king naturally. Now I live in a new house with new people- I arrived for good on March 13, 2006. I'm almost always the center of attention now, I'm treated way better, I have enough food to eat, and I have more toys than many kids do. I like it here!
Bio: Bad Dog or Good Dog?- I am a bad dog all the way. Need I say more?
Occupations: I am the unofficial guard dog of our house and a doggie blogger (Read my diary!). More recently, I have become a doggie author, working on a full-scale human training book. I am also a part-time escape artist (How I got the nickname Houdini) and a full-time spoiled brat!
My Biggest Wish: To be 3 times as big as the biggest Mastiff, sprout fearsome fangs, and to have a bark that would strike terror into the hearts of all who hear it. Maybe then I could actually get some respect!
One Thing I Would Change About My Owners:
The one thing I don't like about my new owners is that they are bent on "training" me. So I would make it so that they're not as bent on that, if I could. Train me? Hah! I'm not even exactly housebroken yet. I still have some accidents. I admit it!
Credentials: I won the MID ("Most Improved Dog") award in obedience school! I was also a Dogster diary pick on April 10th, 2006 and January 3rd, 2007! My unofficial title is: GFIY (go fetch it yourself).
Greatest Ambition: To defeat The Dust Mop and its gang to end their reign of terror!
Worst Traits: Okay, I will confess it! I am very nosy. For another one, read this article from The Bailey Daily Digest: Bailey Confesses: "I Have Multiple Personalities!" I will also admit that I don't know how to play fetch, hence my title. I'd rather chew on things.
Real Life Puppy Pals: See this diary entry for the scoop on all my doggie neighbors and real-life pup pals!
Long Lost Twin Brother:Cody
Check Out My Group:**Big Mouth Pets!**
My Book:The Human Whisperer: Necessary Tips & Tricks For Training Your Humans. It is currently a work in progress. I usually post sections of it in my diary every so often but am taking a sabbatical from it- however, I'm planning to return to it VERY soon, so keep an eye out!
My Philosophies:Just because you're little doesn't mean you have to act like you are. Just because you've smelled something before doesn't mean you should stop sniffing. You can only lick one person at a time. Play well, eat much, bark often!
Petster: Recently, I joined Petster! (Don't worry, this doesn't mean I'm leaving Dogster!) You can see my Petster Profile here. Also, if you want to join Petster, I would really appreciate it if you used this link- it would count as a referral from me.
My Fancy Latin Motto:Latro, ergo sum. (It means "I bark, therefore I am." Sorry if there are any grammar mistakes, Mommy's a bit rusty when it comes to Latin.)
My Dogster Schedule: I may only get here on weekends and Friday nights. Sometimes I will stop by on other nights, but nothing is guaranteed for those.
My Favorite Website (Other Than Dogster):Dog Blog TV! It's a really cool online series about the real lives of 2 Yorkies like me!
Position in my Family's Castle: Tireless Guard Knight
I have a boat of my own! She's a lovely round inflatable thing, called the Screech of the Seas, perfect for riding over the crystal blue expanse of my humans' pool! My people were afraid I wouldn't like it, but they tried me on it and I loved it! I'm a natural boater and can keep my balance on the float perfectly. With my loyal human crew to push the boat around for me, I can go anywhere I desire! I could really get used to the sailing life, I think. However, when they saw I liked that, they tried me on the boogie board. I really didn't like that. It's just a tad t0o close to the water for me. Though I'm a fan of sailing, I'm really not a fan of getting wet. Also, it's very hard to balance on something as small and unstable as a surfboard. So, I guess a surfing life is out of the question for me. That's fine, because I don't really look like the surfing type anyway.
Another large news story is that The Barking Dog had betrayed me! They gave Auntie back all my stuff- everything, that is, except my Kong. Yes, you heard correctly! Those terrible strangers had the nerve to steal my precious Kong! It's probably out on the black market of dog toys already, getting chewed on by some nasty big dog with a black studded collar, huge fangs, and tattoos. Grrrrr. I'm certainly going to give the folks at that terrible k----- an earful when I return today.
Yes, that's more terrible news- I'm returning to the k----- today. My people- all of them, even Auntie and Cee- are flying out to Niagara Falls to see relatives today. Relatives who do not, apparently, like dogs. Not that my people would have considered taking me anyway. Oh, dear me, no! I can never go on vacation with my people. So it's off to the terrible k----- for the second instance, in far too short a time for me to have even recovered fully even from my last visit. So, in about an hour, I'm to be plopped in my carrier and carted off to prison again. Sigh. I'm rather resigned to my fate, as there isn't much I can do about this. Maybe they'll at least give my Kong back when I return this time.
I've had my Plus status removed from me. I had Plus for a year and I loved it. I didn't buy it, however, it was anonymously gifted to me. It might even have been from a Catster cat, I don't know. So I always knew I was really living on borrowed time with Plus, and I wasn't at all surprised when I reverted back to non-Plus a few days ago. My humans won't let me renew my subscription (hmph, the injustice!) so that is probably the end of my Plus days. I do want to say thank you for the great time to whoever gave me Plus. It was so much fun while it lasted, I can't thank you enough for letting me try it!
Notice anything different about this diary? I've been pondering it for a long time, but I finally just gritted my teeth and did it a few days ago. Yes, I've finally changed my diary's title from that old "Life in the Doghouse!" The title is now "Yorkie Yippings & Yarns." I think that sounds far more sophisticated than the old title. Do you like it?
I've finally caught up on entries, so you can read up in my archives. That should keep everyone satisfied during my absence. Goodbye, everybody! Wish me luck surviving the k----- again! I should be back by Monday, I think, maybe. My people never tell me anything but I gather that's when they'll be arriving home and picking me up. But if I don't have an entry that day, don't be surprised. I might be too tired or I might have been wrong about the date.
Home! Ah, yes, I'm home! Home sweet home, no place like home, home free, home at last!
After being groomed, my people were supposed to be coming to pick me up at 12:00 pm. Knowing how faithful and caring my people were, and that they wouldn't want me suffering a second longer than absolutely necessary at the horrid k-----, I expected them to come and pick me up far earlier than that. So, at 11:57 am, a full three minutes early, Auntie and Cee arrived to pick me up from the k-----. I was starting to get worried they wouldn't show and I would be stuck there forever. Auntie mumbled some lame excuse about "traffic" to me, but that won't cut it. Nice work, guys! I hightailed it out of that place and was more glad than ever to get stuffed into my little carrier and plopped into the car. As much as I hate car rides (there's just something dreadfully frightening about traveling at that speed, I don't know how people can handle it), I was so glad to be going home I didn't make a bit of a fuss. However, my nightmare was not over quite yet. Auntie took a "wrong turn" which resulted in us taking a very long detour up and down hills, on bumpy roads, and through parts of town I've never been through before. Apparently, there were some pretty views on this route, which were vividly and stunningly described to me by Cee- i.e, "hey, Bailey, a lake," or "wow, Bailey, a field." I couldn't wait to get home.
I was so happy to be my very own familiar house once we arrived, with all my own toys and things and places! I ran everywhere and rolled around on the carpet and sniffed everything. I actually almost kissed the ground when we got out of the car, but quickly I decided that would be overdoing it. I also searched for Grandma and Mommy- unless I have checked every single nook and cranny of the house for them if they aren't immediately visible to me, I can't rest. I always think they're hiding from me, waiting for me to find them. They have never actually done this in the past, but you never know. Then I curled up and went to sleep for a long time. When I woke up I found Cee and Auntie discreetly trying to sneak out through the garage. I heard them, reacted with lightning speed, and caught them red-handed in the act or the crime, but this did not deter them from leaving. The good news is I did get a nummy out of it- they threw it on the carpet to try and distract me while they were leaving. It didn't work, but I ate it gladly afterwards. Most importantly, I discovered they had accidentally left the computer on, so I immediately hopped on Dogster to update you on my situation. Don't worry about me being alone at the house- it's only for a little while, Auntie reassured me Mommy and Auntie will be back tomorrow. In the meantime, this means I have plenty of time to catch up on my entry-writing. Expect one or two new backdated and long overdue diary entries to appear before tomorrow is over. I'm sorry I took so long to get them to you. It's just that this has been an unusually busy summer for all my people.
Oh, I'm sorry, I must go now- I just heard our idiot neighbors across the street shoot off some firecrackers, and I am now obliged to run around the basement and alert the whole neighborhood at the top of my lungs about this awful, loud atrocity.
Ahh, the kennel. Such a lovely place. I've been holed up with a Chihuahua. Would you spare me! He keeps gibbering to himself in Spanish. My humans jetted off to Indiana several days ago.
I don't have much time. I snuck on the front desk computer. But I know I haven't been keeping my promise of more entries! Just be patient. I'll catch up, I really will, They're all written, just yet to be edited and posted...