Dogster

return to top

My Life....

Too fancy to be dirty...and my bad day

Yesterday the neighbors were having a new roof put on their house. I was really angry, because I very much dislike seeing any person to be within ten feet of my property. So I barked and yelled at them for a long time. I kicked up a lot of dirt in the process, because I was like an angry bull on a tirade.

When my mom finally lured me back in with the promise of a slice of Velveeta, she noticed how dirty my feet were. She was also quite concerned that my nails had grown long and unruly, and I was quite embarrassed. I had a moment of clarity, where I remembered my royal heritage, and was humiliated by my humble and grungy looking appearance. So she and I discussed it, and before I could even give my full consent, I found myself plopped in the bath tub.

She was right in her assessment, as dirt poured off of me. After much scrubbing, I was so gratefully removed from the hell of the bath, and decided to run around the house like a crazed banshee, until I was sufficiently dry. I was exhausted, and YET still focused on how I could sneak out and kill the people working on the roof nearby. In the midst of my contemplations about this, my mom, decided to brush me with that god-awful wiry brush thing. I was a bit testy at that point, and gave her a few much deserved nips.

When I thought my ordeal was over, and as I was relishing my shiny clean fur, and fluffy mane, she suddenly thought that perhaps a nail trim was in order. So off to the groomers we went. I wanted to drive the car, and hopped onto the steering wheel. My mom was freaking out, swerved a little, and I honked the horn. Then I got scolded and had to sit alone in the passenger seat. Oh the humiliation.

The nail trim went okay, though the woman was a butcher, and cut one too short. I was bleeding, which made me think again of how I wanted to make those roofers bleed. We went home, and I, of course, ran outside to see what kind of trouble I could make with them. Sadly, I never made it over there to bite them. How could a day be so bad, in so many ways?

Ah well, at least I am gloriously clean, and finally look as noble and handsome as I know I should.

~Stanley
PS: We are adding a couple of pics for my Papi, who I miss very much. He is in NC and it makes me very sad.

I am almost 6 years old! (And other musings)

I turn 6 on June 11th! My mom keeps saying I'm only going to turn 6 MONTHS, because she still thinks of me as a baby. But I am growing up...after nearly 6 years of life, I have almost mastered the art of pee-peeing outside. I still have to work on the poo-poo thing. But my parents love me no-matter what I do. Even when I am grouchy and angry, somehow they think I'm cute. Ahhh, it's the good life, getting away with whatever I want!

The other day, the gate to our fence was open, and my parents didn't know it. So as soon as we, (me and my dahshund sister and brother) saw the chance, we bolted out into the "real world." Our mom saw us, and started screaming hysterically. I was worried she was going to have a heart-attack, so I stopped running and came to her. My brother was sniffing a sign-post, and she caught him too. My sister, being the weirdo I think she is, ran straight back to the door of our house! Why would she not go for a quick run through the neighborhood, when she had the chance?

Anyway, my Mom survived, but it took her a few hours to calm down. Guess she really doesn't want to lose us, huh??

Okay, that's about it. Hope I get good stuff on my 6th birthday. I'm secretly hoping for a big package of Velveeta Slices, JUST FOR ME!!

~Stanley

Yesterday was no fun......

Yesterday, my parents decided that I needed to have my teeth cleaned. I am 5 years old, and have never had a dental. I hate it when that vet lady tries to pry open my mouth to look at my teeth, so I was already in a very bad mood when they told me what was in store for me. Little did I know that the vet lady was going to give me anesthesia! How insulting! Suddenly I was asleep, and she could poke around in my mouth, without my consent. I couldn't even bite her or growl at her. NO FAIR.

Luckily, I made it through, but was very tired for the rest of the day. All I could do was lie on the sofa and sleep. I didn't even feel like eating cheese...how strange for me! Definitely a first. To my Mom's horror, I felt the urge to go poo at 3 AM, and she had to drag herself out of bed to let me out. Then the same thing happened at 5 AM. I didn't feel too bad for her though...I think she deserved a little discomfort, after putting me through that horrible dental procedure yesterday.

I am still in a foul mood about the whole thing, and I think it will take some time for me to get over it. I am, after all, a royal creature, who deserves nothing less than complete respect. The indignity of having my teeth cleaned was almost too much to bear. And why did they think I needed such a thing, anyway? I thought my teeth were perfect!

UGGH, the hard things I must endure.

~Stanley