mac-a-doodle-dooooooooooooooo!

pit bulls play tag? who knew!

May 30th 2007 11:29 am
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i woke up like any other day, i had recently been to the vet a billion times because i eat money sometimes and that breaks my teeth and mom complains about the bills but i know she's joking becuase she woooooooooooooooves me. but then, i got something in her email! so now it's for you.

here's the rules. chain mail for dogs? how.. kinky?

"Each player starts with seven random facts about themselves. Dogs who are tagged, need to post in their Diary the rules & their 7 pawsome facts. Then choose 7 dogs to tag and list their names. Don’t forget to bark them a pmail that they have been tagged and to read your Diary, or, send them a fun Rosette announcing they've been Tagged!"

OK, here's my list:

1. Although Mac is a very common name, I am the only Mac I know named for a Macadamia nut. That is a rare, pit bull shaped nut. Okay, okay, I'm not cool enough to have a nut named after me. But my brain is small and probably macadamia sized (that's not a bad thing, is it?) and my head is big and fat and shaped like a macadamia nut. Hence the name. (Did I already say that?)

2. I am also referred to as the $15 dollar/$5000 dollar dog. I only cost $15 to adopt! That is so cool! But sometimes cheap is not better. Well, cheap is better, if you get me out of the deal, but you know, cheap isn't cheap? Or something like that. Basically, I like to go to the vet a lot. Vets like me! Techs like me! I like to be poked and prodded. So I do everything I can to go to the vet on a very very regular basis.

3. Those of you who haven't known me longer than 4 years don't know my dirty little secret. I used to be a really really good submissive peer. I peed a lot. On lots and lots of people. Everytime I met someone, and sometimes when I met them again 5 minutes later, and sometimes, yeah, you get the picture. I had a lot of pee to give! Occasionally I forget who I am and well, the pee comes forward. Pee is sterile, don't worry.

4. All my toys are called "monkeys." I love monkeys.

5. Lately I love to sleep in the closet. Especially under the clothes in the very back. Don't tell mom, sometimes she can't find me in there.

6. You probably know this about me, but I ONLY wear pink. Why do people always say I look embarrased? I'm not embarrassed! I LOVE PINK. I LOVE CLOTHES. I'm not in the closet (well, except when I sleep there.) I am proud of my pinkness and my sexuality. And I love my pink collars and shirts, adn sweaters, and just becasue I look sad in pictures sometimes, well, that's my big ole jowelly noggin for you. Did I mention I have a big head?

7. I am a very deep sleeper. I don't feel earthquakes. I don't hear fireworks. I don't hear people coming and going in the house. If I do, I don't let on. No biggy, right? Gotta get my beauty rest!!

OK, here's who I tagged (oh yeah, dogs I can actually be near and not chomp.) :

Mole
Goodie
Ernie
Harley
Gwen
Holly
Duece

 

What a weird week!

August 23rd 2005 11:05 pm
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Things have been a litttttttttle strange around here. My mom stopped going away 5 days a week and leaving me to sleep on the couch. I don't know where she goes when she leaves, but she always says "Be good, blah blah blah, I'll be back tonight, blah blah." Anyway, she stopped doing that this week. And then all our stuff started changing spots. There are these boxes everywhere, I don't know where they came from? I keep sticking my head in them, looking for treats, or new toys, but I haven't found any yet, just lots of mom's junk.

Also, the nice lady who used to hang out here in the room next to mine, she's missing! Her bed that I used to jump on when mom wasn't looking? It's gone! I wonder where it went! I miss her, she called me her "dogmate" and that I was a very good "Professor PinkSnout."

Then, we keep going on these car rides, back and forth to this house at the beach. Grumpy old Kozi is there. Mom always pets her and gets mad at me if I give her the wrinkly forehead jealous look. At least I get to pee in Kozi's yard. Ha. Payback time!

Today, something really weird happened. I got out of the car, but I couldn't move. I yelled and yelled and mom tried to help me, but she didn't help quick enough. This is so embarrassing, but I peed myself, it hurt so bad! Finally, Mom got me out of that car. (When I think about it really hard, I have this feeling she's the one who got me stuck there in the first place!!) Then she put me in the bath. That was so mean! I mean, I like to drink out of the bath, but I wasn't in the mood for a bath, my tail hurt! I guess she didn't want me to be ashamed and stinky or something. But hey, I forgive her, because she gave me a reallllllly yummy cow neck. YUM. I think I'll go chew that now...

 

i am finally learning to play!

May 13th 2005 5:58 am
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ok, i admit it, i am a little socially awkward when it comes to my own species. when it comes to humans, i am a man whore (or so my mom says). i have dog "friends"- i can walk with them, talk with them, be in the same room with them, no problem. but *play* with them? no way, jose!

i give all kinds of mixed messages- i play bow at them and then don't know what to do if they play bow back. i take one look at dogs i like and go find something to mark on, but truth is, i'm a bottom dog. basically, i'm really confused.

but, i have a new buddy! her name is goodie, and she is one cool chick. she likes to herd me, and i don't really know what to make of that, but we really bonded over some cattle about a month ago. and now, a couple of times, my mom has relaxed enough to let us play dragging leashes, and woah, do i zooooooooom around (with breaks to pee on stuff, of course). i still don't know how to do anything but low butt and run around, but it's pretty fun.

oh, and chihuahuas aren't bad, either, once you get to know them. (please don't tell any of my pit bull friends that i said this?)

 

muddymacmudd and the slimy spit (march, 2005)

March 2nd 2005 11:19 am
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i am not a slobbery dog. i don't drool hardly at all. i pride myself on it.

but sometimes, like when we go hiking, i drool. i confess, i am a stress- and hyper-sniffing- drooler. and then when i do my signature macneuver (pictures to come) and shake my body so hard that my front feet go flying, well, i guess the slime gets on my head?

i like the mud, and i seek it out. i disdain spit (i'm a diva, remember?). so when there's spit involved, i try to get more more more mud on me so maybe noone will notice? is it working?

 

the couch.

November 18th 2004 9:24 pm
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the best place to sit.

yeah. it's illegal. but hey, if she can leave me here all day, who's to say i can't break the rules?

and hey, what's she gonna do if i linger up here a little longer than i should, say, all the way till she's in the house.

make me stay on the floor lady, just make me!

 

the day i almost died (november 9th)

November 9th 2004 4:51 pm
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well, i went swimming today like every time my mom has the day off. she threw the tennis ball out into the marina, just like she always does. and i brought it back, just like i always do. repeat. the third time, though, this little head popped up, and i saw that instead of my tennis ball. so i just followed it. when it ducked under the water, i looked back at my mom. she was yelling and screaming, but i didn't know why, and i hadn't brought my ball back, so i turned back in the direction the head had gone, and woah! it was there again!

i did this for FORTY whole minutes! it was weird, because when my mom came and got me, she was in this boat thing, with a strange man, and i was sinking, and she says my nose was blue, and the little grey head was gone. i never did catch the tennis ball, but i did get to go to the vet. and i almost got to swim to san francisco. if i hadn't sunk first, which i was starting to do. and why was she crying? and why does she say i never get to swim again? i was just chasing that grey thing with flippers!

 
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