The Gossip Hound

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Boxers or Briefs?

March 5th 2006 11:29 am
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Dear Daisy,

What is do you prefer - boxers or briefs? Me? I'm a briefs-chewing dog myself - me likes those tighty-whities muchly.

Sincerely,
Gaunch Thief

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Dear Gaunch,

I think Boxers are the cutest doggies! But, whoaaaa... What the hey???! You mean those boxers or briefs - as in underwear???? Neither! Even if they have been freshly laundered or straight out of the package (not THAT package!). I'll stop right there.

New sentence. Alrighty then... surely you've got better toys to chew on than boxers or briefs? Let's work on getting mom or dad in on the loop here and getting you some good, clean, fun type of doggie toys.

Daisy

 

Desperately Seeking Cats!

March 6th 2006 11:46 am
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Dear Daisy,

My family has two cats and those hairballs are constantly egging me on! Everytime I chase them though, my mom gets mad at me. What is a dog to do?

Frustratingly yours,
Desperate in Dayton

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Dear Desperate,

Chase the cats while mom's at work! Then act all sweet when the peeps are around. They'll never know. Heh!

Daisy

P.S. Oh... and eat their food, pee in their litter box, and roll around in their bed while you're at it.

 

Toy Recommendations

March 7th 2006 11:50 am
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Dear Daisy,

I love to chew. EVERYTHING. Gimme anything, and I'll chew it. My mom is getting mad at me for chewing everything, but my teeth are itchy! I gotsta chew! What can you recommend my mom get me that will last a long time and keep me interested enough so I don't get on my mommy's nerves?

Warm regards,
Sir Chester Chewsalot

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Dear Chester,

I would definitely have to recommend a Kong. My mom bought me one and it still satisfies those gnawing cravings I get! Especially with some peanut butter inside... mmmm... *drool*, uh, but getting back to other issues. Latex toys are also a big hit at our house. They last quite a bit. We found out about them from a doggie friend of ours from Italy who visited last year. Take out the squeakers if you don't think you can resist chewing on those, but the latex toys last quite a long time as well. But the best bet - Kong is KING!

Daisy

 

Secret secret, I've got a secret

March 8th 2006 12:03 pm
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Dear Daisy,

I left a "present" in my dad's shoe.
They were his favorite pair of loafers.
They gotta "loaf" of something in them now.

Domo Arigato,
Mr. Roboto

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Dear Styx Fan,

Ugh. You know you're gonna get a spankin' when he finds out. If you are upset with your daddy, best thing to do is communicate. How? Be persistent and consistent. Wanna play? Wanna go outside? Give him signals he knows and keep giving them until you get what you need... now, I said what you "need", not what you "want". So don't take advantage of the persistent/consistent rule or else you might find all your privileges revoked!

Daisy

 

Vet Visits Vex Me!

March 9th 2006 12:41 pm
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Dear Daisy,

Eep! I am going to the Vet on Friday. I am totally freakin' out! I hate the wait in the big room, then the wait in the small room, and then the prodding and poking begins. Tell me it'll be okay...

Sincerely,
Nervous Nellie

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Dear Nellie,

It'll be okay! I promise. Your parents just want to make sure you're healthy and are around for as long as possible. First off, the big waiting room is pretty cool - you get to see all the other doggies and kitties... PLUS, everyone always smiles at you and comments about how cute you are. The smaller waiting room isn't so bad. The vet is usually really nice and the assistants are even nicer!! They give you lots of pets and talk to you in soothing calm voices. Plus at the end of the exam, they'll give you a treat for being such a good patient. Just remember that they're there to help you, not hurt you. And BREATHE. :o)

Daisy

 

Life's a Ball

March 10th 2006 8:11 am
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Dear Daisy,

I absolutely LOVE to play fetch - gimme a ball, any kinda ball - as long as you can throw it and I can get my teeth around it! The problem is, how do I get my daddy to play more fetch with me?

Yours,
Ballsy Bruiser

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Dear BB,

I'll tell ya what my trick is : Get ball. Drop on your mom or dad's foot. Repeat. If this sparks no interest on their end, try this next: Get ball. Rub it all over _____ (select one: arm, leg, face, hair, or whatever is closest to your rubbing proximity). Repeat. Also, very important - practice and perfect your sad puppy dog look. They can't resist... Suckas!

Daisy

 

March 11th 2006 7:05 am
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Smelly Dog, oh Smelly Dog

March 11th 2006 7:37 am
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Dear Daisy,

I hate baths! I love the way I smell in my own doggy way. Why can't mommy like me for me, instead of making me smell like a bouquet of wildflowers?

Smell ya later,
Stinky Pete

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Dear Pete,

I am sure your mommy loves you LOTS and LOTS! I know I know... we dogs love the eau de canine scent, but I think your mommy will be a lot happier, give you lots more hugs and kisses, and maybe even let you up on the couch or on the bed if you don't make her gag with your smell. It isn't so bad, a little pain that comes with a lot of gain.

Plus, don't you feel like a new dog after a bath? I know I sure do! I am so excited that I run around all over the house shaking bath water everywhere! Plus I know I'm gonna get a treat for being such a good dog.

Daisy

 

And I Run.... I Run So Far Away...

March 12th 2006 2:41 am
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Dear Daisy,

I love to run over to our neighbor's yard and play with my neighbor doggie pal Lucy. My parents get mad at me though! All I want to do is play... *whine*

Sincerely,
Leaping Lolita

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Dear LL,

We all love to run and play, especially with our friends! But safety first. It might be dangerous for you to run out into the street / yard without human supervision. Secondly, Lucy's parents might not like you running around in their yard, and yes... I know you trample around their hedges, flower beds, and bushes too! So to keep having good neighborly relations, make sure you have permission to go over to play before you run over (or get run over).

Daisy

 

Pip Pip Cheerio

March 13th 2006 8:15 am
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Dear Daisy,

Do you have any Grey Poupon?

Sincerely,
Sir Snarfy Snarfington, III

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Dear SSS:

Why yes, yes I do!

Daisy

 
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