December 26th 2006 1:17 am
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Mom and Sis noticed that I hadn't been my happy-go-lucky self for the past month, but thought that maybe I was feeling the stress Sis was under at college. I was rather distant (because I was in pain), and less affectionate than I used to be. I had been happy and perky about turkey on Christmas Eve, staying very close to Mom and Mouf, but I seemed to become rather listless Christmas Day.
Mom and Sis noticed that I had been bleeding from my rear. They got pretty worried tonight, and took me into the emergency vet at 12:30AM. After checking me out, the vet said that I had a tumor...one that had started to turn gangrenous (sp?). It was hemorraging and dripping blood. As I was 14, the doctor didn't really see how I would possibly make it through surgery, but it was still an option. However, as I was blindly pacing the office (my cataracts had completely took my vision months ago but I still did pretty well), still dripping blood, the vet gave them the option to put me "down".
After a long silence, the vet left the room to give them time to think on it. Sis broke into tears, and started petting and kissing me. While debating what to do, Sis stopped and asked me what I wanted. I looked in her general direction.
"I can feel the life force in you fighting, but I know you can't fight forever. " she said.
After a great deal more debating and talk and sobbing, the vet's nurse came in with the "paperwork". She explained the prices, and Sister asked how much more it would cost to get the ashes returned after cremation. I never honestly understood that "m0ney" thing, but whatever it was, it was a lot, and Sister was willing to pay it.
Then, with a pat on my head, telling me what a good girl I was, Sister signing the "release form". Mom and Sis spent another 20 minutes or so with me, telling me what a good dog I had been, how brave I was, what Heaven was going to be like and who would greet me there...even that we would be together again.
I was scared to leave them, because they told me that I meant the world to them (and they meant it!). But infection was ravaging my body, and I was in pain...great pain...but being the little Taurus I was, I never told them. Maybe if I had, they could have saved me...but I was still old, blind, nearly deaf, and arthritic. It still would have been the humane thing to do.
They left the room; Sis was still sobbing, Mom crying. Then the vet came in, and eased me into "sleep". Grandma was the first to meet me, then Aunt Carol, and her dogs Mitzy and Kristy, then finally Bridget, the dog Mom and Sis owned before me. I was aware when you came back in, and said your final, loving goodbyes; I was aware of your touch on my body.
I want them to know that I am alright now. Mouf, you told me that if I was in any pain, you would get me help. I am without pain, now. I can see again. I can hear again. My joints don't ache anymore, and I am running around like a puppy, playing with all your doggies that have passed over—Cocoa, Tippy, PomPom, and many more! I will always be with you, watching over you and giving you warm, puppy kisses when you're not looking.
I was in your debt the day that you rescued me from the shelter. You loved me unconditionally, and I did the same for you. I tried to stay with you as long as I could, but the fight was going to have to end sometime. I was glad to know how much you loved me, and I *will* see you again soon. Until then, goodbye and thank you so much for all that you did for me.
May 16th 2006 12:16 pm
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Mom ans Sis have been looking at me and thinking of the "brush" thing a lot the past few days. And that I need a bath. Every time they talk about it, I run and hide.
I hate baths. I don't smell right after they're finished shampooing and perfuming me. As soon as I get the chance, I run around in the backyard and rub my face in the grass and make Mom yell, "No!" at me. I don't know why humans can't just leave us doggies be. We don't distinguish between "good" and "bad" scents--they're just scents. But. . . no, humans are all like, "I have to cover up your natural scent, so you can smell pretty."
Well, I don't WANT to smell pretty. I wanna smell like me! :P
Anyways, I gave mom a Snoopy card for Mother's Day. Mouf had to outdo me and get her TWO cards, a box of chocolates (which I thought smelled really yummy), and a certificate-thing to something called a "spa". I don't know what that means, but Mommy was really happy.
I can't believe I'm 14 today. (Actually, my non-furry family has no idea what day I was born on. My former family just left a question mark next to early-to-mid-May birthdate on my forms at the Humane Society. So Mouf came up with May 16th.) I'm getting a "special treat" when Sis gets home from college later, so I'm really excited. I hope I get a new sweater, too.
February 1st 2006 9:43 pm
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My sister (she's rather funny because she doesn't have any fur) read about this site in a local newspaper and was intrigued. She told me that she was going to add me to the list of dogs on this site today. I don't really understand this whole "Web" thing she talks about, but whatever makes her happy. She felt bad that she couldn't find any really good pictures of me, but I don't really care. I can't see that well anymore.
My cataracts have almost completely taken over my vision, but Mom and Sis tell me that they're going to try some new eyedrops for me and that they will improve my vision. If only they could help my arthritis, too. These Minnesotan winters make my joints hurt and have made me really stiff lately.
Umm...that's all for today! :P