Heart-shaped hole

Mom and dad did me the ultimate act of love and let me go on Friday. Mom begged me silently my whole life not to make her make that decision because she didn't know if she could, but it turns out that love this deep brings whatever strength you have and multiplies it to a level that no one knows they have until they are there.

They let me go Friday evening. I was all snug in my bed in the living room after being outside in my front yard in the fresh air and sunshine all afternoon, with mom and dad loving on me with a gentle intensity I will never forget. My auntie H (who had Loki) came to see me and my grandyparents did too. Alistair's parents also came to say goodbye. Then I made my last walk up my front steps and got right in my bed.
Mom had it all pretty with candles and a flower above the fireplace.

Afterward, mom sat up with me for most of the night, stroking my fur, talking to me and writing me love letters.

In the morning, mom and dad made a place for me in the back yard, right near Jax. It's always been my favorite corner of the yard. It's nice and shady and I can keep my eye on every part of the yard, and the house. I'd dig myself a nice dirt bed, arrange it so it was all comfy so my chin could rest on the edge of my hole and I could look out, or snooze.

They took out a tree and started digging. Dad got the root ball out and sat down and looked up and saw it from my perspective and said, "No wonder it's his favorite spot. Look at what he got to look at." Dad kept digging, but I guess he didn't quite get what mom had in mind. He was digging right by the fence, along the fence line, but mom said I had to be curled in the corner, the way I always was, so she started expanding it in a different direction and it turned out to be in the shape of a heart.

Mom is going to make it a really beautiful place so they can come out there and sit and be with us. She has been out here all weekend talking to me and Jax and getting it cleaned up. She's crying a lot and that's hard for me to see. I know she'll be ok eventually because she has my dad, Jax, her family, and my Bodacious aunties looking out for her. And I will never ever take my eyes off of her.

Moving on.

Mom and I discussed it and it's really time for me to go. She assured me that she will be ok, so I have to trust her. Of course, I will always have my eye on her, just from a different spot in the yard. She says she will miss me and love me always, and will never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever stop thinking about me. I really hate that she and dad are so upset, but my body just gave up, so I need to trade these legs for some wings.

I finally got mom cooking again ...

... see, I decided I didn't really like my kibble lately, and then I just wasn't very hungry for a few days. Well, of course that got mom all worried, trying to find the right thing that I will eat. So tonight she cooked me this magnificent stew. Except that while she let it simmer for a bit she went in to check Dogster. Well, she got roped into playing the Movie Mah Jong game advertised on the home page. It wasn't too long before she realized she'd better check on my special meal, and what did she find but a pan full of burned on meat and sweet potatoes and yams.

She just got back from the grocery store with a pint of Vanilla Haagen Dazs. Mmmmmm. Now that's what I'm talkin' about!!

One more day!

Tomorrow is my last treatment and then mom says we are going home! I am so glad, even though I won't really realize what is happening until she packs the car.
We have met so many great people here. Mom took pictures today of me and my new friend Billy. He is a really nice guy, just a sweetie like me. Mom really enjoys chatting with his parents. They drive in from Spokane every day. They have a few more weeks left though because the machine quit last Friday and Billy didn't get his treatment, and then Monday is a holiday.

My other friend ZsaZsa, a Viszla, got to go home yesterday.

Well, mom has a few things to get done today so I'll write again when I am home and settled in!

Love, Diese

I'm an outpatient now

Well, I am more than halfway through my radiation treatments. Today was number 11 out of 18. Mom says we get to go home a week from Friday! She is also talking about getting me a piece of pizza today to celebrate my miraculousness. I heard my doctor say the word "amazed" when my dad asked about how my recovery is going. She said it twice! "I am amazed!" she said.
Everyone here has been really nice to me. On my way back from my treatment today a bunch of my fans that are vet students were in the hallway and they all cheered me on ( they saw me a couple of weeks ago when I wasn't doing so well) so I gave a little trot the rest of the way! I have been going up the stairs at the motel, and mom tries to walk me a little bit farther every day. Mom stopped giving me tramadol today and tonight we will reduce my prednisone again.
Mom met two couples here from Canada today. She talked to each of them for awhile and told them my story and I made them smile even though they are going through a lot of stress with their own babies. We just hope they will have good outcomes too. A few days ago there was a pretty little Pit Bull named Maya (also from Canada) who was having balance issues. It looked like she got to go home yesterday and her owners looked relieved, so I hope it worked out.
Mom says this is a really amazing place. I am feeling so much better I guess I have to agree, even though my part is harder than hers. Then again, maybe it isn't.

Bored Outta My Gourd

Well, I don't know what's going on, but I feel like a prisoner of sorts. I'm being held captive by my favorite person in the world though, so it's not all that bad. Mom has been home a lot and we hang out in her office together all day. She has been spending a lot of time giving me massages, and looking at her books, looking at me with her worried face on, sometimes with a little water coming out of her eyes. I have to go outside with the leash on and dad put a ramp out there for me. I have had trouble with stairs for a couple of weeks now, and my left arm isn't really doing what I tell it to. Last week sometime, my neck really hurt for a few days, but then I saw this guy and we came home with three little red containers and ever since I have felt a bit better. Every few hours mom brings me a little Tapas plate and I am getting a ton of my favorite things. Once in awhile when mom has to go somewhere and dad is gone, I have to go in my "safe room," where I can't really do much but lie down. Mom made it nice and cozy for me and she even sits in there with me a bit before she has to go. She has been sleeping downstairs with me for the last week too.
I have a feeling something is going on. They don't want to let me play, mom keeps telling me to "go slow" and I haven't been on my walk since last Friday. The keep saying this word "emareye" and I don't know what it means. But then mom tells me that they are going to fix my neck and make it brand new and then I can get back to my life!

My mom is in a great mood!

Well it's really happening. My mom has heard her springtime bird twice now. She heard him about 10 days ago the first time, and then again yesterday. Oh MAN is she happy! This means that for SURE spring is here. We have had a WHOLE WEEK of dry sunny days. That doesn't mean warm though. That's ok though because that part is coming. Yaaaaaaaay! I love anything that makes my mom happy.

So, we have been walking a lot and mom might even have lost a pound. Anyway, I have this new trick that I like to do on our walks. It is called "Manipulate Mom." See, what I do is, I'll walk along just fine and then all of a sudden I just stop for no reason. I sit down or I lie down on a nice grassy strip and I won't budge. She has no idea what is wrong so her hand just automatically goes for the treat bag because she wants to keep moving. I know this about her, so I dig my heels in even more. I just refuse to budge! She caught on really fast though (faster than I was planning on) that I was just looking for a treat. She knows I will do anything she wants me to for a treat. Anyway, she has decided that instead of LURING me into doing what she wants using a treat, that she will REWARD me for doing what she wants AFTER I do what she wants. DANG IT!!

Oh well. I still love my mom. Even if she is smart.

Valentine Tag

Ouch!!! Is that an arrow I feel jousting my cute little rear? By golly Miss Molly, it's Cupid! I have been tagged by not one, but TWO of the greatest and handsomest, my good bodacious friends, Odin, the next best in show (and the first one ever to win wearing heart-shaped head boppers!!), and the Mackster, just the cutest little dude and up-and-coming heart-breaker south of Seattle!


So here's how it works; in Valentine's Day tag, you write your five Valentine Day wishes in a diary entry, then choose five of your pup pals and have them write down five of THEIR wishes. Then they choose five pup pals... and so on and so on...

You can let your five pup pals know that they have been tagged by paw mail, or rosette. Have fun and I hope all of your Valentine Day wishes come true!

My 5 Valentine wishes are: (I hope I'm not too late--it's Feb 15!! Wishes don't have due dates, do they?)

1) My buddy Hooch really knows how loved he was by his family and by US--the bodacious bullies, and that they know how much he loved them and how truly grateful he was to have such love around him.

2) My friend Dan at the goodie store would give me a piggy heart every day.

3) People everywhere would make more of an effort to understand us doggies so all dogs could have the love they deserve.

4) My mom could spend all day, every day with me.

5) I could go to the New England Bodacious Bullie Convention and meet all my friends in dog! Oh well, I will at least be there on my mom's clothes.


I'm gonna tag:

Tyson/236431
Olivia/373292
Maggie/694006 (cuz she needs to start a diary!!)
Mr. G. Titus/296036
Gus/520641
Mason/575483

I know that's six, but I figured I could put in an extra since I got two tags. I only made 5 wishes instead of 10!

YAAAAYY! I'm so excited!!!

My mom just enrolled in a small animal (that means me!! Even though I'm pretty big!) massage certification course! She's been massaging people for 13 years but I've been telling her for a long time that we doggies are the way to go! Her study materials just arrived yesterday and she is already looking stuff over. Mmmmmm. I just can't get enough massage. Everywhere I go I'm looking for either cookies or a rub. If people start the rub and then stop I always remind them that I'm still there. I paw at them or I step on their toes or if I'm feeling really charming I lie down on their feet and show my belly. Everyone loves that. The other night after she enrolled she gave me a really great leg rub.
AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Fun Day

The other day I got to spend the WHOLE day with mom. She had a bunch of errands to run so I went along to keep her company. The first place we stopped made us both sad though. It was just an extra stop, not planned, but on our way to the first place on our list, mom stopped in at the emergency vet because she wanted to be sure she knows where it is, and she wanted to see if they had any magnetic cards she could keep on the fridge. Well they did, so she got about 6 to give a few to friends. But, while we were there a woman came out from the back room with tears in her eyes. Mom thought, oh no, she just lost someone. Sure enough, as we were driving out from the parking lot we saw her again, going out to her car carrying an empty pet carrier, wiping tears from her eyes. Well that got both of us started, too. Mom had to wait a minute before she could drive. All day she kept telling me how much she loves me, asking if I know how much she loves me; of course, that's no different from any other day!

After she stopped a few places on that strip, she stopped by a gym to check out their New Year deals. She says she wants her old body back. Apparently when she met my dad (before I came along) she was really buff. I thought I was the buff one!! Well, my dad is a bit of a couch potato, but since he broke his foot 6 months ago he thinks joining a gym would be a good thing. Plus, since they got married they have each gained some weight. Part of my mom's excuse is that she got burned out on lifting weights (she says she was a little obsessed for awhile) but also when I came along, she couldn't stand to be away from me, so she chose to walk me for exercise instead. So she got a temp pass to that place (even went for a workout yesterday, and today already she is sore). They are going to look at another place today.

My favorite stop though was the last one because we went to Daly's, a paint, stain and interiors store where they love dogs and they lovelovelove ME!! I get a lot of cookies there. Mom made sure they knew I could smile so I had to do that for everyone. After mom got her stain order taken she asked if they had upholstery that would match my ears. So we went to talk to the upholstery people and they loved me too! The man kept petting me and holding fabric samples up near my head. It was fun at first but then I got a little bored. The man and my mom decided that my ears are sort of an ebony/mink/sable/espresso color. Mom is really into browns now since I came along. When we remodeled the upstairs, she got flooring to match my eyes. Now she says she is going to decorate everything to match me! Silly mom.
I'm excited because I think we get to go to Daly's again this afternoon!