Mom saw an Eskie today

Mommy has had a difficult time since my passing. I know she knew it was really my time to go. I let her know that. I showed her I wasn't even scared when we went to the vet that day. Still, she feels guilty for letting me go though, and so sad. She still looks for me all the time and talks to me. I can hear her. She was driving home from taking my skin brother to work in the morning and lo and behold, she saw a beautiful white Eskie standing off leash in a yard. The dog was faithfully standing along side of her mommy as she was weeding her garden. She looked just like me, her posture, the way she was looking around, her age. Mommy saw her and just lost it. She sobbed the rest of the way home. It took all of her strength not to turn the car around to go see that old girl and give her some love. She knew the owner would think she was nuts, so she held back. Mommy's heart hurt though, I felt it. I worked some magic for her from the bridge and sent her another IG. His name is Ziggy and he is a real velcro dog. He sticks to mommy just like I did. Now she has to look behind her again in her computer chair, so she doesn't run him over instead of me. I smile down on her when I see her trip on him now! I love my mommy so much I don't want to see her sad. I just want her to know I am still looking out for her from the bridge. Love, Sheba

I went to the Bridge Today

Today is the day that I finally lost my battle with my cancer. It spread to my bones and I was having trouble walking. It was making my mom so sad to see me trying to walk. Every time I saw her though, my face would light up and I would try my hardest to get up and greet her. I loved to be by her side as much as I could in the end. She brushed me one last time today and took lots of pictures of me. We spent a lot of time together before we made our final trip to the vet. I went with dad, Marie and Brett too. I knew it was time. For the first time, I wasn't afraid when I went inside. Mommy held me in her arms and I went to sleep, peacefully. Everyone cried for me and said their goodbyes. They stayed with me for a long time. It was so hard to leave me. I know how much they love me. They couldn't bare to see me in pain anymore. I am running free at the bridge now. Mommy is sad and feels a big hole in her heart. Some day we will meet again. Until then, I will watch over mommy and the IGs.

Love,

Sheba

I'm Still Hanging In There

In September, mom noticed something on my stomach. She took me to the vet and her worst fear was confirmed. My cancer had come back. The vet asked mom what she wanted to do. Mommy said that I was still eating and drinking fine. She told the vet that I was still acting fine and trying to keep up with the IGs. That was all the vet needed to hear. I had a more aggressive surgery to remove the cancer. The last surgery bought me a year, so mommy is hoping that this one will at least give me that much time. I came through with flying colors. I was even able to come home the same day so I could recover in my own home.

I am doing well. I sleep more then I used to, but that's what us older girls do. Some days my hips give me trouble and I walk with a lip when I first get up. After I get going though, I still like to run around outside with my fur brother iglets. I can't hear anymore either, so mommy has to use hand signals to get my attention.

I spend my days staying close to mommy's side. I like spend lots of time with her, so much so that she sometimes trips on me! She doesn't mind though, she knows I don't mean to be in her way. She knows that I love her with all of my heart and that I want to be with her a much a possible. Together, we cherish the time we have left.

Some thoughts

Looking back on my life, it has been really full. I have seen four of the six skin kids grow up an leave the nest. The last two are now HS seniors. I so loved romping with them when they were small. They used to dress me up and make me look rediculous. I just let them do it because I loved to be a part of their lives. I followed the kids everywhere. Now I get really excited when they come home to visit. I jump around and howl like a puppy. I want to be close and let them know I love them so much.

Mom took me to the vet recently and I had an operation. They removed a tumor. The lab at Cornell said it wasn't good. They said it was an agressive cancer and it would most likely come back in my lungs or in my bowel. The vet told my mom I had a good long life and I would let her know when it was time. I do feel tired a lot more now, but I feel good still. I know I want to be close to my family and spend as much time as I can with them. I love to go outdoors and smell the fresh air. Mom watches me take in the beauty around me. She can see that I am enjoying my surrounds more and savoring life.

I sometimes see tears in my mom's eyes as she watches me. I try as hard as I can to tell her not to be sad. I show her how much I love her everyday. Icouldn't have been a happier girl if I had tried or a more loyal girl. The vet is right. I have led a good long life. I sure hope I can give my mom just a few more good years. I sure am going to try my hardest.