April 15th 2008 8:50 am
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My boypup Duncan is a rockstar! No seriously, he's like the David Beckham and Brad Pitt of agility. And let me tell you - he kicks some major hiney! So anyhoo, he has like the longest name on the face of the planet, it's so long you'd think he was like royalty or something! His name is:
C-ATCH2 Duncan ChST, ChCL, ChSN, ShFH
And apparently that isn't even including all of his titles!!! Pretty impressive huh?
Well, I just sign my name as plain ole' Tater Tot (I don't think there is a special abbreviation for graduates of puppy obedience class, but I will definitely have to look into that *mental note*). Most of the time my pawsonal assistant who does my typing is so lazy that she just signs my name as 'Tot'!!! I have begged of her to give me some props here and at least throw the 'Tater' back in!!!
I really wanted to feel cool, respected and important like my superstar boypup, so I have decided to take matters into my own paws and officially change my name. Effective immediately, hence forth, I shall now be known as:
Tater Tot BRB, ASAP, AKA, BOL, RSVP, BYOB, TTYL
It just kinda rolls off the tounge huh? I already feel like 10 times more special and important just by looking at my new name! I am sure this will help restore my street cred on the block from several months ago back when I was really sick and I finally did a good #2 after weeks of #3's and mom actually cried tears of joy. That woman spares me NO humiliation!!!! A few of the neighbors and my arch nemesis Yip Yap (as I so affectionately call her, I bet you can't guess how she coined that nickname!) the Min Pin witnessed this. Of course the whole neighborhood knew about this incident in under 5 minutes - again, hence the Min Pin's nickname! My street cred has been down the tube ever since that day and I haven't been able to hold my head high and bark at Yip Yap cause she's been all up in my grill. I can't wait to go announce my new name out the window for all to hear, I am confident that I will be once again be known as the "toughest terrier on the block" in no time! Oh snap! *snap*
Tater Tot BRB, ASAP, AKA, BOL, RSVP, BYOB, TTYL
April 9th 2008 10:46 am
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I, moi, yours truly had several of the greatest honors bestowed upon me lately - Dog of the Day and Diary of the Day! My photo graced the homepage of Dogster in all its glory - TWICE! As neato burrito as all of it was, the entire dog population now knows I have IBD and they know ALL about my past bowel movements! *gasp* So you'll have to understand the bittersweetness of my success.
When I was the Diary of the Day I was on top of the world, how would you guess the parentals rewarded me? Cookies? NO! Bones? Double NO! New toys? NO, NO and NO! I got the stinkin' cone put back on my head. Apparently I was licking my back paw "too much." Whatever! If this is the parentals idea of a reward system - I can tell you one thing for sure, they can kiss my hiney!
I haven't updated my diary in a LONG time so I thought that I should do a mail call! Oh, and when I say mail, I am talking USPS baby - not p-mail!!! For the record, I now get more cool stuffies in the mail than mom and dad - COMBINED! I just know they are green with envy too! I can't help it if I'm loved! Mom was joking that I need to start my own fan club so they can handle all of my special deliveries and high volume mail! BOL!
Over Christmas I got a ton of great Christmas cards from lots of my beautiful friends and I even got some pressies too! My TWO TIME CHAMPION boypup Duncan sent us the most wicked awesome double fleecey blankey that his very talented and sweet ma HAND MADE just for us! I snuggle in it everyday and we LOVE it! Lola and Teddy sent a box chock full of toys for me! WAHOO! Then I got a letter from my dear pal Monk - he clipped an article from his local paper all about TATER TOTS and sent it to me!!!! The article was truly a work of literary genius that went into great detail about how Tater Tots are making a come back (HECK YEA WE ARE). It even had some recipes that really scared me! Ma can't just marinate me and throw me in a casserole dish! Can you say PUPPY ABUSE?????!!! Ummm, yea, remember from my last dairy entry - I'm kinda irreplaceable ma... THEN Kiks and I got our first BLING eva from Georgie! Auntie Georgie ROCKS, that was so sweet of her! THEN we got Cheerleader outfits from the TRIAD! Wow, we're feelin' the love!!!
I think however that I am going to have to plan a recon mission to steal and dispose of those cannibalistic tater tot recipes while there is still time! If you can't find me - I'll be hiding out under the couch planning my recipe raid!!
One other thing that I must simply get off my chest right this very second, is announcing the fact that I HAVE NOT HAD A SINGLE COOKIE FOR OVER 4 MONTHS NOW! I KNOW! Did I just blow your mind? I am SO upset about this. Ma promised me that we are going to figure this whole IBD/ possible food allergy thing out as quickly as possible. I hope so because I loose a little piece of my soul everyday that goes by where I don't get a delectable tasty cookie. Not really, I just tell ma that everyday to make her feel guilty! BOL!
January 23rd 2008 11:24 am
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As some of you know, I was really, really sick for a while. I had to go to the ER and stay 2 days, but at least I was able to come home the day before my birthday on Christmas Eve! Phew! They weren't sure exactly what was wrong with me, just when the vets thought I wasn't gonna make it, I pulled through and was deemed the Christmas Miracle by my dear friends at Schnauzers Rule! We couldn't have gotten through this without all of their support.
Then I started getting really sick again with bad #3's after I got home and had to have a ton of new tests. I lost a lot of weight too and am still a little bony. It looks like there's a good chance I have Inflammatory Bowl Disease, IBD. But for now the vet thinks that we should be able to treat it by adhering to a strict low residue diet. Let me tell you, the parentals haven't ever talked about poop so much in their entire lives as they have in the last month! BOL!
ANYHOO, so because of my ER trip and all the ginormous vet bills, the parentals weren't able to get the cool new laptop as their Christmas gift to each other as planned. Believe it or not, I have been the butt of many jokes because of it too. When people ask about the new laptop, mom says that her new laptop is great, it's furry and has 4 legs. Get it? Ha. Ha. Ha. That was so funny, I almost forgot to laugh! NOT! And every time the laptop blacks out (which is often), the parentals just look at me and smile and kiss my forehead.
I am tired of feeling guilty, I don't have to take it! So I am creating a list of the top ten reasons that I am better than a new laptop! Ready? Here we go!
#1. First off, I am like, seriously WAY cuter than any laptop in existence!
#2. I can snuggle up on the parentals lap and keep it warm. What? Laptops can do that too? Well, can they stare up at mom with big puppy eyes and *sigh* like I do? I think not!
#3. I am interactive, VERY interactive! I can entertain the parentals with my antics all day long! Forget computer Soduku and internet checkers! Throwing my ball for me all day is much more fun and stimulating - for me at least! hehehe!
#4. A month of my dog food is cheaper than the internet bill. Huh? My new special prescription diet is more expensive than the internet bill? Well, ummmmm, er, did I mention that I am way cuter than a laptop?!
#5. I have superior intelligence! What Kiki? Computers do too? Well, theirs is artificial! I'm the real deal baby! *three snaps in a Z formation*
#6. I protect the parentals from intruders! What's that about virus protection dad? Baloney! I'd like to see the laptop try to protect you and mom from burglars and those suspicious invaders you call friends!
#7. Laptops can be unreliable, whereas everyday, at exactly the same time, I awake the parentals with very soft kisses on their noses! Rise and shine!
#8. I'm compact and easily transportable! What? Laptops are too? Well, er, I am a lot more durable than a laptop. I know this because once I accidentally pounced on the laptop and one of the keys went flying! When Kiki pounces on me, I stay fully intact, *ahem* for the most part...
#9. Laptops can be really confusing when something goes wrong and can be expensive to fix. What mom? My vet bills over the last month were HOW MUCH??? *faints* *gets up* *faints again* So someone could buy like 4 laptops for the price of fixing up a Tater Tot basically? I'd like to think that I am the much better deal in this equation thank you very much!!!
#10. A laptop only lasts like a couple of years and then it has to be replaced. What was that Kiki? You can't be serious, I came with a warranty that expires soon and mom and dad are planning on replacing me too? *tears welling up in eyes* No!!! It can't be true!!! They love me too much! Why are you laughing Kiki? That's a really horrible joke! Stop laughing Kiki! IT'S NOT FUNNY Miss Prissy Pants! You can't joke about that! *runs to mom* MOM Kiki is being a meanie!!!!!!
#11. I thought that I should list an extra one just in case... Laptops have to be plugged in everyday and they suck up a lot of energy! Whereas I am simply powered by 100% pure love!
Over and Out,
With love from yours truly, whom we all know is better than all the laptops in the whole wide world!