Happy Birthday, Sweet Boy!

Oh Boudreaux, I miss you so much sweet boy! Today would have been your 6th birthday. We were supposed to celebrate so many more birthdays together. Four was not enough!

I have brought your brother Magoo up to your favorite place in Arkansas. He seems to really like it too. In a little while, we will be going up to the property where we were supposed to live happily ever after together. I'm going to spend some time at "Boudreaux's Rock". That's where I scattered some of your ashes last year on the 4 month anniversary of your Bridge Day. I can't believe that this is the second birthday you've spent at the Bridge. My heart still aches for you. I have some very special pups in my life, but none of them can fill the hole that you left in my heart - that will be there until we meet again one day.

Happy Birthday, Boudy. I love you - yesterday, now and forever.

Love,
Mommy

Happy Birthday, Sweet Boy...I Miss You So Much

Oh Boudy...today is so hard for me. I opened your page and heard Mercy Me singing "Homesick" and fell apart. I had hoped we would celebrate this day together. I still remember when the vet told me you had Mesenteric Carcinoma and that your prognosis was 2 weeks to 12 months...I hoped and prayed we'd celebrate your 5th birthday together, but it was not to be. Six weeks after your diagnosis, I had to say good-bye to you. Not a day goes by that I don't shed a tear for you. I love you so much and feel like there's a hole in my heart nothing can fill.

I remember when you were born...in the wee hours of the morning. I was filled with so much love. Roudy woke me up this morning about 3:45...that had to be close to the time you were born 5 years ago today.... Thank you for sending Roudy to me. No pup can replace you, but you knew what my heart needed - Roudy's silly antics keep me laughing.

I have never had such a special bond with anypup...you were my heart, my love. I long to hold you again and to bury my face in your soft fur. I miss snuggling with you, playing soccer with you and just being with you. I hope you know that when you left this earth, my love for you did not end. It is here, in my heart...forever.

I love you...more than words can express. Happy Birthday, my sweet boy.

Love,
Mommy

Oh No! The Link didn't work!

A pal of mine just messaged me and said the link didn't work...if it doesn't work for you, try this:

https://2md2m.ejoinme.org/MyEvents/2011Calendar/Per sonalFundraiserSignupFundraising/tabid/229978/Default.aspx?j oinme=1112

Mom tested it out and it worked for her, but if it doesn't work and you would like to donate, mom can send the link directly to your human's email address if you are comfortable giving mom your email address...just message me here on dogster and let her know.

Those of you on facebook can "like" my page: Boudreaux's "Cancer Can't Keep A Good Dog Down Calendar" Voting/Fundraiser Page has a direct link to it as well!

Thanks for your help!

Help Me Raise Funds for Canine Cancer Research!

And, I may be a calendar dog!!! If I'm in the top fundraisers, I will have my big photo of me standing in the river in the the 2011 Cancer Can't Keep A Good Dog Down Calendar!

All proceeds raised will go to 2 Million Dogs Foundation, a 501 c(3) organization whose mission is eradicating cancer. 2 Million Dogs is working to achieve that goal through education of the common link between cancer in pets and people and funding comparative oncology research. To learn more about 2 Million Dogs, visit our website: www.2milliondogs.org

Mom entered me as a way to honor my memory - and hopefully find a way to kick cancer's butt so no more precious doggies have to suffer through this awful disease!

Could you please spare a few bones for this cause? We'd really appreciate it!

Here's the link to my fundraising page:

https://2md2m.ejoinme.org/MyEvents/2011Calendar/Per sonalFundraiserSignupFundraising/tabid/229978/Default.aspx?j oinme=1112

Thanks for your help!

Missing You

Oh Boudreaux...just when I think things are getting less difficult, I have a major breakdown. The last couple days I have been missing you terribly. I long to snuggle with you at night and hold you. I long to kiss that sweet space between your eyes and bury my face in the soft white patch on the back of your head. You were such a big part of my life and I don't feel complete without you. You were "my boy". I love all your doggy brothers and sisters but we had such a special connection and you loved me like no other. All the others are so independent and rarely, if ever, want to snuggle or "just be" with me. That was our thing. We loved to be together all the time. We ran and played, but we sat and just spent time together too. I miss that. I miss just sharing space and air with you. I miss everything about you. I love you.

Love,
Mommy

One Month Ago Today...

I had to say goodbye to the sweetest dog I've ever known. Boudy, I miss you so much and I can't help but feel the overwhelming sadness of loss today. I am so thankful that I was chosen to be your human mom. You gave so much - love, joy, protection...you gave me all of you.

I would have done anything to save you, but it was not meant to be. I had to let you go because I loved you so much. I didn't want you to suffer and you told me it was time for you to go. I hope you were aware of me holding you and kissing your sweet head as you took your final breath. When you took your final breath, it was as if all the wind was knocked out of me. I couldn't believe I wouldn't be able to hold you again, or play soccer with you again.

I have so many wonderful memories of our time together. I cherish each and every one of them. Fly free, sweet boy. Run and play with Gonzo, your best doggy friend, and little Angel, you litter mate that only lived a few hours. I hope you have met the doggy "brothers" that had gone on before you came to me, Bubba, Fritzie and Mighty Mouse. I hope you got to see Gertie again as well.

I will always love you my sweet boy! I can't wait until we meet again!

Mom wrote a poem for me!

Mom has always written mediocre poetry to deal with her grief. I like it though, because it comes straight from her heart. Here's the poem she wrote for me:

Boudreaux

Soulful eyes so full of devotion
Always aware of my every emotion

You were the light of my life, the joy in my heart
An unbreakable bond right from the start.

A gentle spirit, you were one of a kind
A more faithful companion I’ll never find

I was blessed with the gift of your life and your love
My furry angel sent from above

My life is richer for the time that we shared
I hope you know how much I cared

Too soon from my life you had to depart
Leaving me with tears and a broken heart

A friend like no other I’ve ever had
The last thing you’d want is for me to be sad

I know in time the sorrow will fade
Leaving me with sweet memories we made

When you came into the world I was by your side
I held you in my arms as we said good-bye

You are not gone, though we had to part
You will live forever, here in my heart

Going to Be With Gonzo Soon

Hi Pals:

I just wanted to let you all know that tomorrow, July 6, 2010 I'm going to the Bridge to be with my brother and bestest buddy, Gonzo. I tried hard to beat the cancer, but it just wasn't meant to be. I wanted to stay around and take care of my mom, but the cancer took all my fight out of me. I've stopped eating, I'm drinking very little and not moving around well. Mom thinks I'm hallucinating too...every little noise terrifies me and I have no interest in anything any more. Mom promised me she wouldn't let me suffer and I've let her know that I'm ready to go. She even heard me whimper today - I never do that.

I want to thank all my pals for all their thoughts and prayers. Please say a prayer for my mom - she'll need them more than I will. Also, if you could, please say a prayer for my pals Morgan (of those Fabulous Conways) and for dear Ernie George. These two pups are also battling the Evil "C".

Kiss your humans and humans, hug your pups...

Much love,
Boudy

Dad's Coming Home!!!!

Dad had been in Mexico on a mission trip for a week. We haven't been able to talk to him or anything because he's been in a remote village in southern Mexico where there's no cell service or internet. When Dad left, I wasn't doing too well and he and Mom thought that I probably wouldn't live to see Dad again. But I did! Thanks to my pals Smoke and Tess and their Mah-ahm's magical beef jerky, I started eating again and I will get to see my Dad this afternoon when he gets home!!!

Mom is so happy that Dad is going to be home. It's been hard for her this week, worried about me and trying to take care of all the others, the house and working full time. She's used to having Dad around to help. She's kinda worried though that I was just waiting for Dad to come home so she wouldn't be alone. (I am awfully thoughtful that way...) None of us know what the next few days will bring, but I am slowing down again. I still love to hang out with mom, but things frighten me now that didn't used to and things that used to frighten me now paralyze me with fear (like fireworks and gunshots - we'll have plenty of those this weekend out in the woods where we live).

I'm not sure how much longer I'll be around. The only thing I'll eat is beef jerky...that's not enough nutrition to keep a sick puppy going. Mom's tried EVERYTHING to get me to eat. She still offers me stuff, even stuff from her own plate which she NEVER did before.

Well, that's all the update I have. I'm going to take a nap and rest up for Dad!

No More Chemo!

Mom and I decided that I wasn't going to have to do chemo anymore. I haven't eaten in a couple days and I'm tired of fighting the cancer. Mom said she'd make me as comfortable as she can and surround me with love the rest of my days. I don't know how many days that will be, but she also promised that if it becomes necessary, she'll help me to the Bridge. She cried when she told me that. She said that she'd be sad but not to worry because she'd be okay. I'll miss her when the time comes but I know that the other Goobersmooches will take care of her. (Oh, and Dad too...)

Mom wrote this for me today. She writes when she's sad...

Memorizing Boudreaux

I try to memorize the way your silky ears feel when I rub them.
I try to memorize the soft fur of your head when I stroke it.
I try to memorize the softness of your coat as I massage your back.
I try to memorize the way it feels when you wrap your paw around my arm when I pet you.
I try to memorize the feeling of kissing your sweet face right between your eyes.
I try to memorize the sweet, soulful eyes as they once were – full of life and light.
I try to memorize the peace and calmness I get from just being with you.
I even try to memorize your scent when I bury my face in the back of your neck to cry for you.
I try to memorize the “thump, thump, thump” of your tail when I spoke to you.
These are priceless, irreplaceable feelings that have made my life brighter, happier, better.

I want to remember you as the sweet, happy, loving, protective boy you have always been.
I want to honor you for the love, loyalty and companionship you have given me so freely, without reservation and without restraint.
I believe that you are a picture of God’s love for us – Love given freely, even when we don’t deserve it.
Thank you for showing me how to love deeply and completely.
My life is richer for having loved you.