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The Barking Machine

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Happy Birthday baby boy

August 28th 2014 5:34 pm
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Today would have been Shakespeare’s 13th birthday. I can’t believe he’s been gone for a year and a half. It feels like just yesterday, and it feels like I was just writing a similar post for his last birthday. Sigh. I miss him all the time, and I think about him all the time.. seems like a lot more lately. Wolfe says it’s because I’m finally allowing myself to think about him, which makes sense, since now I can think about him and grin and laugh and remember the love, instead of bursting into tears and/or feeling guilt (not that I still don’t do that).

I loved celebrating Shakespeare’s birthdays. They were such a joy, so much fun. I’d walk into the room with a bag of wrapped presents and Shakey’d jump up and down and try and get to the presents. Silly boy. Once I put the bag o’ presents on the floor, he’d stick his snout and face in the bag and start pulling them out. He loved to exuberantly unwrap them. He’d rip the wrapping paper pieces off the present and shake the paper around and put his paws on the paper and rip it some more. If the present was treats, sometimes he’d try to rip or chew open the treat bag. Then I’d get it from him and give him treats.

He was the silliest, best boy in the whole world. I miss him terribly.

Thank you for his rosettes, thank you for thinking of him.


Miss you goofball

November 1st 2013 11:14 am
[ Leave A Comment | 5 people already have ]

I miss you so much goofy boy. I shared pictures of you on FB from the last couple Halloweens in your squirrel costume cause they are some of the funniest, best pictures ever... you were always so expressive!... and I actually didn’t cry.. instead, I smiled. I still wanted to hug and kiss you and that made me sad, but I didn’t break down. Baby steps! I felt bad making you wear the squirrel costume.. and the lobster costume before that.. you didn’t like them at all… gave me lots of stink eye (hee!) before you tried to rub against the floor and the furniture to get the costumes off. :-) But the squirrel costume was the funniest for you, my squirrel-obsessed boy *g*.. as the meme says “To catch the squirrel, you have to be the squirrel.” You were always my goofball, you made me laugh and smile every day. I miss you so much.


Happy Birthday

August 28th 2013 2:49 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 9 people already have ]

Happy Birthday Shakespeare, my goofy mama's boy. I can’t believe you’re not here, it breaks my heart so much…. I *can* believe I can’t write any more than that sentence before crying already. I miss you so much. I knew I’d be a mess when the day came, I thought it’d be old age, and I’d have time to “accept” the eventuality, but that obviously didn’t happen. I only had a few days, a few terrible, heart wrenching days. I thought you’d be fine, you were always strong and resilient and healthy…. My goofy boy, my heart, my first and always baby…. You gave me so much and I wish you were here more than anything in the world. I wish I could watch you enthusiastically unwrap your presents and gobble down treats. You were a silly boy who always made me smile. You had such a zest for everything. One thing you gave me is that zest, to enthusiastically appreciate and love everything, from sitting in the grass to savoring treats.

Today I’m taking Lacey to all the pet stores, probably a park or two depending on the heat. I’m going to try and celebrate your life and make Lacey’s happier instead of crying and moping. You never did that. Even when you may have been in pain, you still wanted to walk and gobble food and you were still goofy. I miss you so, so, so much baby boy. I wish you were here for your birthday and it breaks my heart that you’re not. Ok, self, refocus on those very first sentences in this paragraph… Focus on being goofy and happy to and with Lacey, doing things with her to celebrate. Celebrate the joy your baby boy brought you.

Thank you to our friends for the rosettes and messages.


Thank you

May 31st 2013 3:25 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 6 people already have ]

Thank you everyone for the condolences and dogster gifts. I have to admit I haven’t read most of them because when I start to, I tear up and start crying and become a mess (again). Heck, I’ve been a mess for a couple weeks now. Trying to wrap my head around what happened, but then dealing with the guilt and heartbreak that comes with that.. you know, the what ifs, the signs you look back and see… like he would grr when being picked up, even if he wanted up… I just thought it was he was becoming a grumpy senior, he’d always been a strong healthy boy, but now I’m like OMG he was probably hurting and I should have gotten it checked out but then they still would have seen the same thing and I’d be in the same boat there was no reason to suspect anything because he’d always been strong and healthy and I have to keep thinking this or I’ll go crazy. Last week was the worst week of my life, it was unexpected and went downhill too fast, and this week has been the second worse. I’m a mess and I can’t stop thinking about my baby and yet I don’t want to talk about what happened or talk about him even though, really, I’m doing that now. I’m trying to focus on Lacey and even fostering soon, and all the pups that need a good home, and how Shakey was the best dog ever, the best boy in the whole world and he was my baby and I told him lots of times that he was going to live forever cause he was the best boy ever and my baby and I miss him so so so so much and I’m gonna try not to cry now… I miss you so much baby boy and I love you more than anything in the world. Sigh. I just wanted to get all that out; it seems to help with healing to do that.

Thank you, and I apologize for not getting back to anyone, I just can’t right now. Hug and kiss your furkids for me please.


Mom visited and I have to get surgery

May 21st 2013 12:19 pm
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Mom came to visit me! I was SO HAPPY to see her! I perked right up and got lots of energy and the internal med vet opened the cage and mom sat down and I leapt onto her lap! We hugged for a bit, then I stood up cause dog, I wanted to go home! Mom told me no, that I had to stay there cause they were gonna have to do surgery on me. I'm just gonna copy and paste her book of faces status cause my paws are tired from trying to get away from mom's smothering, BOL (not really). (Psst, don't tell mom I have her book of faces password!)

Shakey update: internal med vet said his ultrasound showed a lot going on in his abdomen. (Vet called it a hot mess, heh) His gallbladder is sick, no obstructions but its inflamed.. One of his adrenal glands looks diseased, the other is enlarged, possible tumor? His spleen is unhappy too. So they recommend surgery to really see what's going on and how to fix it, like if enlarged gland is from gland or liver, what's up with gallbladder if it needs to be removed etc. they want to do it this afternoon since he's had lots of fluids etc.

Oh yah, while she was here, mom talked to the internal med specialist vet and the surgeon, they're gonna check out my insides and pawsibly remove my gallbladder. I'll make sure she keeps you updated cause I may not be able to type while I'm all doped up post-surgery.


Overnight report

May 21st 2013 7:44 am
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Hi pups, man these vets are around for long times, hard to be sneaky! I overhead the nice e-vet talking to mom last night and again this morning. This morning’s report is that I did fairly well overnight, I had an anti-nausea med and I ate and have kept it down so far, and my blood sugar held steady. The vet also started me on antibiotics cause she saw a little bacteria in my urine (ewww). I’m gonna see an internal specialist this morning and get an ultrasound so they can see all inside (ewwww).

If I can remember what the vet told mom last night…. Let me review my notes…. My potassium is normal. My blood smear showed immature red blood cells, which I think means I’m making more. My blood clot time was 23 seconds, and 19 is normal. The xrays didn’t show evidence of obvious obstruction, but they did show a slightly enlarged area in my upper abdomen, not lots of detail tho, which is consistent with inflammation around my liver, gallbladder, and bile ducts, which is where the vet thinks the problem is from. The vet’s still concerned about my Billy Reuben (thanks Zoe!), and she was leaning towards my liver. She mentioned three things in particular she was looking for, but I forgot what they were except for pancreatitis.. which is a word I know cause mom’s always talking about how she feeds us low fat food and we don’t get much people food cause we’re prone to that.

The vet was asking mom if I could have gotten into anything bad, like mushrooms or xylitol or palm trees, but I’ve always been good about not getting into stuff. Plus mom watches me like a hawk, she hates mushrooms, she only chews gum at work and never drops it, and I haven’t been to Florida ever.

Whew, I need to rest after typing all that out!

Oh, can’t furget - thanks for the PoP!!!


At the e-vet

May 20th 2013 5:17 pm
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Sheesh, you gotta really sneak around to get to a computer here! Mom left me at the e-vet tonight cause they need to run diagnostic tests and xrays and stuff on me. Know how I've been urka gurkaing? I even urka gurkaed rice last night, and I've been pretty lethargic all weekend too, so mom took me to the vet this afternoon. The vet thought I looked jaundiced (you shoulda seen mom's freaked out expression there, she was not expecting that at all), so they took blood work. My liver values were 8-10 times higher than they should be, and my billy-something or other value was high too. So the vet recommended mom take me to this e-vet so they could figure out what's wrong. The e-vet lady was nice and was talking to mom about liver and gallbladder and bile ducts and how they all work together, and mom was paying attention but I dunno what it means yet. They gotta run tests. I'll sneak back and let you pups know what's up when I can.


New foods!

May 19th 2013 9:18 am
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I've been urka gurking this weekend, so mom's been giving me "bland" human foods (they're not bland for me, they're delicious!). Yesterday she gave me pieces of boiled chicken, a tiny bit of which urka gurkaed up. This morning I got a tiny piece of banana (YUM!) and bits of scrambled eggs (YUM YUM!). OMD, why has mom never fed me these things before?!?! Just cause she doesn't eat eggs does not mean she shouldn't make them for me, altho now that she knows I like them, she says she'll make them just for me. Woof! On a related note, she's been wanting to buy a rice cooker for a while, and last night she finally bought one so she could make rice for me. Woof! There's still scrambled egg on the counter that I want but mom is waiting to see if I urka gurka anything else first.


Playing with Bela

March 4th 2013 5:54 pm
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Mom posted a video of me and my doggy roommate Bela, we played a bunch on Saturday morning. We have fun playing, we bark and grumble and play bow. Oh, mom says to make sure to tell my furiends that she was watching the whole time and Bela is super sweet and I’m a grumbly brat (hey! I’m not barking that!), and no doggies were harmed in the making of this video. (Sheesh mom, like I’d ever let a girl dog beat me up, even if she is three times my size!)


I’m at home freaking out!!!

February 5th 2013 5:51 am
[ Leave A Comment | 7 people already have ]

The smoke detector keeps beeping and I hate it and mom couldn’t reach it this morning even when she stood on a stool (she’s only 5 feet tall and the alarm is on the ceiling and the ceilings are high) and even if she hit it with a broom it’d still hang there and she still couldn’t reach it and she had to go to work to make treat money and the alarm keeps beeping and I hope my tall human roommate or mom’s tall boyfriend get here soon so they can reach the alarm and stop it.

I was freaking out so badly this morning that I didn’t want to eat my morning treats and I ran outside when mom opened the door to go out to get to work. She put me back inside, which is not where I want to be right now.

I hope this day goes by fast cause I am not a happy dog.

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