Mommy left us!

This morning was very exciting!!! The alarm went off super early, Mommy leapt out of bed and made coffee, and then packed up the month's supply of food she bagged last night.

That means only one thing....VACATION!!! But wait...why didn't she bring a suitcase of Mommy stuff? Clothes, shampoo, hair dryer, high heels, makeup? Something was wrong with this picture, but I was so excited about "going" that I barely noticed.

She put Gretta in her snoozer harness and me in my seatbelt, and away we went!

3 hours later we were at Parker's, Jack's, and Bebe's lakehouse! Strangely, they were not there. Puzzling...but I'm not complaining! That means more laptime for me!

Then Mommy rubbed my ears, told me to be a good boy, and went away. And there I was, at the lakehouse with Parker's Gramma.

Apparently Mommy is going to some place called Bulgaria for almost a month (however long that is). She got a big opportunity to play chamber music there and couldn't say no. So she flies out on Wednesday...and I'm kicking back at the lakehouse, enjoying long snoozes on the deck and walkies!

I guess this means I'll be taking a mini-vacation from moderating duties. Seeing as I lack opposable thumbs and any sort of accuracy at the computer keyboard and my typist is overseas, I don't think we'll be getting a lot done. Behave yourselves, dogsters, and I'll see you guys in August!

Shredding Gladiator: First Encounter

So Mommy and Dyson Airmuscle DC-28 made their first assault on the land of white carpet. It was coated in a fine layer of my best work...the soft, fluffy down of a longhaired dachshund, combined with the sticky shorter cocker hairs of a very heavily-coated spaniel.

Round one goes to.......

DYSON

It now sits, gloating at me with a full tummy of dog hair and other small particles. I mean, REALLY. How hard is it to be a good sport?

Oh well, I'm shedding like a monster again so we'll see how he handles Round 2. Dachshunds are well-known for tenacity and determination, and I will not lose to a giant purple sucking machine. I already declared the carpet in the name of Dachshund (sorry Gretts) and I will not allow this....this.....THING to annex what is rightfully mine.

You'll see...I'm at least going to give Mr. Dyson a run for Mommy's money.

Shedding Gladiator: Part 1

Whoa pups...it's been AGES since I last updated my diary! A lot has happened in that time period, but it's been a year of mostly positive events. We moved...AGAIN. Honestly, I don't know WHAT Mommy was thinking moving to this new apartment. Sure, it's closer to work and we're not in danger of getting shot in the middle of a gang fight, but this new place has WHITE carpet. WHITE. As you can easily see, Gretta and I are furry black shedding MACHINES. So this new place...so not challenging for us. Even when Mommy vacuums several times a week, we very quickly change the carpet color from white to charcoal. BOR-ring.

Anyway, part of this year of good things includes our recent selection to test-drive the new Dyson vacuum cleaner. Well, I guess "good" depends on perspective. Mommy seems overly excited by this prospect, while Gretta and I remain apprehensive. You see, one of my most important jobs at this apartment is to make sure it's ALL covered in Rondo-y goodness. I mean, it can't really be home without long tufts of dachshund hair forming a thin layer on EVERYTHING, right? Combine that with Gretta's amazingly sticky cocker spaniel hairs and we're a formidable shedding team.


I don't mind the vacuum so much, but it frightens poor Grettakins. I love my sister, so I realized the least I could do for her was to double my shedding and encourage her to shed even more. That way, Mommy's vacuums would clog and die on her. We watched a whole parade of sweepers come and go over the years, some named Eureka, one named Bissell, a couple named Hoover, something called the Dirt Devil (which I think was totally in cahoots with the two of us because it didn't do squat on all our wonderful contributions to the household) one with the WEIRDEST name of GE that lasted all of 2 weeks... What can I say, the Rondo/Gretta team concedes defeat to NO machine!

But now we have what Mommy calls an honest-to-god challenger, one that will put all the other sweepers to shame. A purple monster sitting in the kitchen, daring to stand up to ME, the mighty shedding king. Gretta ran under the bed to cower, that silly cocker believes EVERYTHING Mommy tells her. But I...the mighty dachshund...I, the great Rondolio....I know that anything that's purple is nothing to fear. I mean, I did help decimate the Great Grape Ape just last week, and I tore the head off of a Barney doll when I was a mere pup. Fear a purple sucking machine? Not I!!!

But Mommy really is convinced that this is her solution. I've never seen her so excited to clean the house. And apparently seeing all her dogster friends have such success with the beast has really fostered her dogmatic belief that her woes over this white carpet are over.

Tell me friends, should I worry? Or is this just another weak challenger in the long line of cleaning machines Mommy has adopted? Stay tuned, as Mr. Dyson Airmuscle makes his debut performance on our carpet later this morning...

A Day Trip

Saturday was a very strange day. After Mommy stayed up all night with...a book about Harry Potter (?) she took a short nap, then one of her friends came over. She put my harness on, grabbed some water and a doggie bowl, and we piled into someone else's car. How weird is that?

Then we drove for a couple of hours. When the car started to slow down, Mommy's friend opened up the windows and the smell was just intoxicating! I started whining and poking at them, demanding to have a seat in the front where I could get better scent leverage.

Eventually we arrived at a parking lot. Mommy's friend went into the bathrooms to change clothes, and then we walked across the street. This amazing smell combined with an awesome rushing sound, and I was totally intrigued. What was this place?

Then I felt utter pain in my feet. Mommy freaked out, scooped me up, and pulled out these things called "sand spurs." Apparently she didn't know they were there, and I had to be carried for awhile because "Rondo is my baby....blah blah blah." I'm not a baby, I'm a big dog! WOOF!

We hiked along a trail, crossed a bridge, and there it was....the biggest expanse of water I've EVER seen in my 4 years on this planet. It looked like it was playing chase with itself--it would rush onto the grainy dirt, then right behind it another swell would overtake the first. Water after my own heart...there's nothing like a game of chase first thing in the afternoon!

Mommy took off her sandals and let the water attack her feet. Being a brave dachshund, I lunged in after it...and boy did it taste AWFUL! What was this stuff? I'm so glad I don't get that in my water dish! Maybe that's why Mommy had to bring a gallon of water with us...hmm...

The boy she was with ran really far into the playful water. I got very upset with Mommy because she wouldn't go out there with him, and she was holding my leash. When he came back he took me out and I got to swim! It was so much fun!

I ran back to Mommy with the biggest smile on my face, the pranced down the beach to show everyone that I, the Great Rondolio, had conquered yet another territory, something the humans called "The Atlantic."

Moving....again?

Ah, the cycle starts again. It doesn't seem like that long ago when Mommy came home with all these boxes, put all our stuff inside them, taped them up, and gave them to these strange men. The whole procedure didn't make ANY sense to me. I mean, she didn't protest at ALL when those strong, scary men took all my stuff and put it in THEIR truck. You would think my brave human would have at least spoken up! She won't even let me steal underwear without raising a fuss.

Well, it happened again this weekend. Mommy came home from work with boxes and proceeded to pack up all her things. Her precious yarn stash, her books, her CD's, her records, her winter clothes...

Confused and a little upset that she wasn't packing DOGGIE stuff, I ran my little weenie legs over to my toy basket and pulled out a chewie. I gently laid it in a box and sat back, pleading with her to tell me what was going on.

Silly busy Mommy, she just absentmindedly patted my head and kept packing, mumbling something about "Gramma and Grampa" and "Otto" coming to play. That perked my ears up. You see, Otto is my brother but his Daddy is Mommy's Daddy. It confuses me, because wouldn't that make Otto and Mommy brother and sister, and me his nephew? Even though we have the same biological Mommy? I don't understand...*sigh*

Anyway, I digress. The day after Mommy packed up all her stuff...lo and behold! Gramma, Grampa, and Otto arrived in a big old van! I couldn't contain my excitement, because Otto is the best playmate a dachsie could hope to have! It was so good to see them. Grampa has the best lap to sit in, Gramma gives the best loves, and everyone just loves snuggling the dachsies! And with three people in one apartment, there was a 1:1 ratio of human to dog! Not bad, not bad!

But then Grampa started taking Mommy's boxes. And Mommy helped! I wasn't so sure about all this. What does it mean? They live so far away, but if Mommy's stuff is going there....is she going there too?

And what about me and Gretta? All our worldly possessions are still in the apartment. What does that mean?

She wouldn't leave me, would she......?

Tagged by Jezzie?!? OMD!

I got a rosette today, but apparently my elusive dachshund techique doesn't work in online tag...but that's okay! Jezzie got me, so now it's time for me to give chase! My favorite game ever!!!

Here are the rules of the game!

Each player starts with seven random facts about themselves. Dogs who are tagged, need to post in their Diary the rules & their 7 pawsome facts. Then choose 7 dogs to tag and list their names. Don’t forget to bark them a pmail that they have been tagged and to read your Diary, or, send them a fun Rosette announcing they've been Tagged!

7 Fun Facts about the Rondinator

1. I'm Kentucky born and bred, but a die-hard Tarheel fan! GO NC!

2. I have the most beautiful girlfriend in the whole entire world--Queen Gemini

3. I belong in GRYFFINDOR! For those of you who know what that means and want to get sorted, join our Dogster group The Whomping Willow and embrace your destiny!

4. This weenie loves the water! Mom says I must be a lab at heart, because if there is a body of water, I'm in it, paddling my way around with a giant goofy smile on my face! Well....unless it's the bathtub....something about the smell of shampoo really disgusts me. Give me goose poop and mucky pond any day!

5. I'm named after a famous piano piece written by Felix Mendelssohn, his Rondo Capriccioso. My favorite thing to listen to, however.....is gregorian chant! I will sit mesmerized by the sounds of the singers. Mom jokes that I should have been named "Sederunt" after another of my favorite pieces....but that's too hard to say BOL!

6. I'm all attitude, but like your typical bully, I tend to turn tail and run when I'm actually confronted. Except when it's Gretta....she's such a baby!

7. I love my little sister with all my dachshund heart. Sure, I give her a hard time, but I always look out for her at the dog park and make sure that no one picks on her.

I'm going to Tag

1. Gemini

2. Parker

3. Gloryficous

4. Gio

5. Buddy

6. Rosie

7. Griffen

Welcome to Rondoism: The Cult of Rondo

Some know of my powers of hypnosis (what football team are you cheering for Jovi?), but even my arrogant dachshund self had no idea that I could brainwash a big automobile company to design a car in my honor. Have you seen the commercials for it? TV is so old hat to me that I rarely pay attention to it (only doorbells set me off), but everytime they say "Rondo" I perk my ears and get a confused look on my face. Why did it take the talking box almost 4 years to learn my name? How can Mom be happy with such an unintelligent gadget laying around the house, and beyond that...how can she let it blather on ALL THE TIME? I'm not allowed to voice my opinion, so why does it get to?

But that's another story for another time...

The Kia Rondo reveals all the features a pup could want. Giddyupiness, Cabinocity, all-over safety-ness...good gas mileage (for trips to the fun dog park in Durham), plenty of leg room for Gretta and tail room for me....my name emblazoned on the back of it... It even kinda looks like a dachshund with it's short stubby wheels, long body, and aerodynamicicity. All it needs is a spoiler with a flag on it and it's good to go!

I'm very excited about my new-found power, and am hoping that I can use it to convince the company to put me in a commercial or ad campaign. I'd be a great spokesperson, don't you think? The Great Rondolio, on national television! It would certainly be better than the whole cult-like hippie approach they've got going on now where they don't even acknowledge that I, the Rondinator, am the being they worship. Maybe I'd get invited to see Matt Lauer on the Today show, or go on the Daily Show and espouse my political opinions with Jon Stewart, or visit Anderson Cooper, or have a guest role on Grey's Anatomy (I could hold a scalpel!)! Maybe they'd even let me be a judge at next year's Idol prelims. I could totally hold my own with Simon! This could launch my career!

Watch out everyone, I'm on my way!

Rondoism....taking over a country near you.

Tennis Ball Lost: The Saga Continues

Pretty much everyone who comes to my page sees my life obsession plastered all over--the ubiquitous Tennis Ball! I love them in every variety...the mini-sized, the standard green ones from the can, the Air Kong squeaky variety (my favorite, for those of you looking forward to a certain-little-weenie's birthday in June ;) )...I just can't get enough!

Well, a couple of weeks ago tragedy struck. It was during the January heat wave when temps were in their 70's. It was also bath day, and every water-loving dachshund knows what that means--an afternoon of swimming in the lake! Mom leashed me up, grabbed my "outside only" mini tennis ball, and we traipsed out the door. We usually walk to the other side of the lake, because Gretta and I both have an eensy-weensie predilection towards barking at the waterfowl, who all congregate on the apartment side of the lake. Mom says that the folks who face the lake provide a drive-thru bread service for the ducks.

*whispers* Sometimes I eat the bread, but don't tell Mom! I'm hoping she'll forget and walk past the good spot again!

Anyway, it was so much fun that day. Mom threw the ball into the lake, and I'd swim-swim-swim to retrieve it, drop it at her feet, and bark at her to throw it again. She was a little slow, because of that silly little picture-taking box she insists on flashing at us. Humans...

It was all well and good, until one throw went out a little too far and I couldn't find it. Geez Mom, I'm a scent hound, not a sight hound, and you can't smell anything but wonderful stink at the lake BOL! I swam around, panicking as the ball eluded capture. Finally, I got tired and swam back to shore, figuring that my Mom loves me more than anything in the world. She'll swim out there and get it!

No. She wouldn't. Not even for the pleading, mournful dachshund eyes. She commanded me to "Git it", a command I always obey. I just couldn't find it :(.

So she leashed me up and in we went for the bath, my ball lost forever.

Or was it?

This morning, three weeks after the incident, the lake had frozen in several parts. As Gretta and I pranced down the trail, greeting our friends and having a good time, I spotted it. Sitting in an inlet on top of the ice! How did it get there? This is the total opposite side of the lake from where we had been playing! I wanted it so badly, but Mom said that the ice was too thin for us, and we couldn't reach it. I stood forlornly on the shore, willing the ball to come to me. It didn't :(.

I'm hoping that on tonight's walk it will be reachable! But if not, I will always love and cherish my tennis ball. After all, a dachshund and his ball have a deep spiritual connection that cannot and will not be broken! I love you , Tennis Ball, and we will be together again!

And what did Santa Claws Bring......?

Okay, okay....I was freaked out about nothing. Maybe Santa ACTED like cockers were his favorite, but he brought the same stuff to both Gretta and me.

Ah, there was the usual haul of chewies, stuffies, and cookies galore. But, as presents tend to do, the best one didn't look so promising from the get-go.

flashback

*ripping into box*

Um....how is THIS a puppy toy from Santa?

*pulls out a plastic card with a bar code on a lanyard*

Mom.......Mom??? MOMMY WHAT IS THIS??

*sneakily puts teeth on card*

end flashback

How could I possibly have known that this magic little card was the key to the secret garden? The pass to unlimited fun? A gift for a year of fun, friends, and unlimited off-leash ball chasing?

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Have you guessed what this wonderful gift is yet?

*looks around, not wanting to give away the secret to those still guessing*

*whispers*It's a pass to the best dog park in town!!!!

We went yesterday. And the day before. And the day before that. Oh, and the day before that AND the day before that AND AND AND the day before that one!

There's a nice man there who has a "chuck it" and will throw the tennis balls until I'm on the brink of collapsing. He says I'm like Napoleon pre-Waterloo, whatever that means. All I know is that whenever the group of us chases the ball I, the Great Rondolio, always come out with it in my mouth. Rotties, Pitties, Labbies, Borzois, Beagles....it matters not. I rule ball at the dog park and it's fun!

And guess what? In another hour we're goin' again! Woo-hoo!

*sprints around like a crazy dog*

My Resume

Okay pups...it's official! I'm going to try to earn my keep and help Mom out with some of the expenses. I am the man of the house, after all!

So I'm posting my doggie resume here. If anypup knows of a place I would fit, let me know!
----------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------
R. Capriccioso
An Apartment
Cary, NC
555-doxi

Objective
I'm looking for a position that utilizes my vast array of talents and my copious experience. In addition, I would like it to have growth potential and a flexible schedule with plenty of time for chewing and naps.
---------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------
Skills    
Snuffling                    
Alarm Clock                    
Bounty Hunter                    
Emergency Surgery                    
Outfielder                    
Taste Tester                    
Paper Shredder                    
Garbage Disposal                    
Excavation                    
Sentry                    
Management                  
---------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------
Employment History
2003-present--Personal Assistant
Duties include announcing the presence of visitors, performing
stuffectomies on some of our squeakier clients, fetching the orbs
that my boss persistantly drops, giving my expert opinion on various
cuisines, cleaning up after dinner parties, installing various drainage
holes on the property, and performing round-the-clock security work.
Oversees the contributions of my co-workers, confiscating any toys, treats,
or chewies that may interfere with their production levels.

Salary start: room, board, and 3 cookies a day.
Salary end: room, board, 1 stuffed kong a day, cookies.
-------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------
Educat ion
Puppy Kindergarten (August-September 2003)
Major: obedience
Thesis: The Nose Knows No Boundaries: Dachshunds and the Paradigm of
Disobedience
Graduated cum laude for my contributions to "I've never seen a dog
try that one!" and other naughty-related fields.
--------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------
Referen ces
Mom (current supervisor)
Gretta (co-worker, I oversee her work)
Fritz (former co-worker I supervised)